2015 Wordplay is now complete!

The winners for 2015 are listed first.  Congratulations to Anne Del Campo for her creative and pithy first place winner. Congratulations to all the top 10!

We also had a word that came in high but decided that “Name Withheld” was not really a “winner”, so they get more of an Honorable mention.  Also, I am SO sorry this took so long; major email problems when we were finalizing the winners; then too much travel for work.

Please see the 2016 page for new submissions.

Word Definition Name
Carnil Celibacy Anne DelCampo
Cornicate to cock an ear Tom Bracken
Invorce The email received from a former spouse demanding an alimony payment of a certain amount by a certain date. Dan Greenberg
Poltergist The ghost of an idea Doug Langmead
Audity Something that sounds odd and has financial implications Tony Dal Molin
Damnesia Cursed forgetfulness James Marshal Broder
subterfume These e-cigarettes Vali Jamal
carioki singing along to the radio during a drive – often with the wrong words Dave Easby
Umpure An umpire who actually follows the rules David Spharler
Bathroam wandering aimlessly in search of a toilet Bruce Dillon
Top Ten Honorable Mention:
qualifiction typical result of required workplace training Name withheld
WPM Invitasional An etymillogical onslaughter of the English Language Doug Langmead
Reiterdate To repeatedly ask someone to agree to a meeting Sara Craddock
Ductator Someone who thinks you can fix anything with duct tape Marla
Submission Underwater religious conversion Fred Breitner
Erue The feeling of regret after sending an inappropriate email Anne DelCampo
Twatter When people chatter endlessly on Twitter or any other social media Marla
Megalomanilac Thinks he’s all powerful but just missing something Glen V. Thompson
Viagrant A homeless person who sleeps standing up Doug Langmead
Bayrier A seawall Matthew B. Winkel
Underpaints Primery colours Doug Langmead
Countentious Causing or likely to cause an argument over money Marla
Dealiberate The ability to distribute playing cards in a careful and unhurried manner Sara Craddock
Ambiextrous Possessing a third useful appendage Fred Brietner
Incendairy A toast with burnt milk Doug Langmead
Grititude Appearing to be thankful through clenched teeth Sara Craddock
Greedom The unbridled ability of large, well-connected corporate entities or thieir ilk to do as they please, usually to the detriment of the public at large Steve Gallop
Isilate The strategy employed by the UN Security Council to cut off the Islamic State’s connections to international financial and economic markets Josh B
Reciprocat The art of responding positively to a feline’s display of affection Sara Craddock
Hatronage Unwillingness to use or support a particular institution, custom, company or cause, no matter how reasonable and cogent the arguments to do so are. Jade Walker
Pailiative Describing a last ditch effort to extend life, by applying generous amounts of water to needy plants Fred Breitner
Nagnify To repeatedly exaggerate your spouse’s faults Karen Hall
Investidate To obtain background information about a potential suitor, particularly through the use of the Internet Stacia Spaulding
Portential When something has the potential for disaster Suzanne
Accelebration Rushing the preparations for a special event Fred Breitner
Vommitments Things one has promised to do, the thought of which makes one nauseous Sarita Nair
Seccentric The ability to become unconventional in an exremely short space of time Sara Craddock
Bullship The hype cruise companies tell you about their cruise Dennis MacClanahan
Negligent Men’s nightgown Fred Breitner
Lothargio A lazy lover Jurie Schoeman
Abominable Snotman A really bad head-cold Tony Mowatt
Astrolomical Extremely large or vast influence on one’s astrology Mark Landes
Fastudious Describing a quick learner Fred Breitner
Abscondor A bird that’s flown Doug Langmead
Sniege The act of not letting a sneeze go Jerry Bonson
Relax To revisit Los Angeles Jack Cohen
Fryday The day all potatoes dread Andrew Herden
Accidance Recovery of balance, especially on black ice Fred Breitner
Brayzen An excessively impudent ass Doug Glant
Mistlehoe A woman who will kiss absolutely anybody under the mistletoe Donna Ping
Dearogatory The art of appearing to be affectionate whilst being critical Sara Craddock
Textosterone What makes men so predictable. Doug Langmead
Peticure When you take your dog to the vet to get it’s nails clipped Dennis McLanahan
Pestivity A picnic Anne DelCampo
Legato ad absurdum The theramin Wayne Merry
Genderaters Chromosomes Doug Langmead
Nonpulsed Deceased Daniel Martin
Spunoza Previous philosophical discussion Tony Mowatt
Astrophy Loss of muscle mass due to preoccupation with stargazing Jason Conklin
Insumnia Inability to sleep due to an audit Marco van de Sluis
Siccups When a person’s error-ridden social media post is later quoted by an editor who has the patience to mark each error with a “(sic)”, one would say that the original poster had the siccups. Rebecca Oswald
Kneecape Pantaloons Doug Langmead
Acronymonius That angry, bitter feeling one gets when being subjected to relentless us of acronyms that have zero meangin to the listener but have special or “inside” conduits of meangin that the speaker can only understand or process will leaving the listener unintentionally (in most cases) in the dark Mark Hanson
Space tome continuum The infinite worlds created by writers Marco van de Sluis
Convidant An inside connection with the nuns Eben Robinson
Fignition A false start Doug Langmead
Pulpitation A state of agitation that develops when talking to someone with fruit fibers between their teeth. Alan Largue
Femdamentalism A narrow interpretation of feminism that regards men as superfluous or irrelevant. Erick Richter
Cleaverness The Beaver’s sharp wit David Spharler
Clarifiction Explaining/Rationalizing/Legitimizing a topic all parties privately acknowledge as untrue or fallacious Name Withheld
Chorduroy The harmonious sound produced by the thigh sections of velvet-ribbed pants when walking. Fiona Leally
Lascar An alliterative Rascal Doug Langmead
Regalitarian Arising from the belief in the equality of all persons, providing they are from “royal” lineage. Anne DelCamp
Factorum Drunken handyman David Spharler
Heltic When “hectic” is not a strong enough word. Dennis McClanahan
Primotive best Cro-Magnon David Spharler
Precrastination Not even thinking about starting to do something Anne DelCampo
Knothing Tied up in nots Doug Langmead
Auramatic A person who has an aura surrounding him Vali Jamal
Kitschen A really ugly kitchen Eric Meadows
Fratulence Gas passed at a college kegger Charles Manley
Gangst Fear of “the hood” Anne DelCampo
Cutelass A curvaceous broadsword Doug Langmead
Flib To lie about one’s weight (flab + fib) Laurel Mancini
Prudity Your uptightness is showing Jim Hanson
Idioptic Someone so ignorant it causes you not to see straight Laurel Mancini
Achilles Keel Dry-rot in a pirates wooden leg Doug Langmead
Scorry An apology made with hope to score points towards the next conflict, or to intentionally gain favor with the recipient without true remorse. Angela Harrison
Exfoliage The esthetic effect Agent Orange has on trees Greg Murphy
Extravagrants Excessive money given to ridiculous projects. Laurel Mancini
Dikapedia A person you are chatting with who keeps citing facts about topics that you care nothing about, nor which you are presently discussing. Tarrabeth Rocco
Moanlougue A long, one-sided conversation by a depressed person. Kenneth Rhodes
Hypenosis The trance-like state into which one descends after watching too many political campaign ads. Rick Montgomery
Leotard Spotty Pantyhose Doug Langmead
Offalicious Diligently making your crap everyone’s crap (offal + officious) Laurel Mancini
Tichnology That twitch you get when your computer is not working Marla
Diarya A condition characterized by the inability to stop writing crap in one’s journal Matthew B. Winkel
Statisfy Provide someone with abundant statistical data to the point they are convinced of something Holly Varley
Sabotrage Getting screwed by the exchange rate Albhy Galuten
Cafartic The relieved feeling you get after passing wind Danny Youlden
Dramastic Something that is both a drama and is drastic at the same time. Usually incites panic Sam Stevens
Snockers The breasts of a drunken woman Edward Brode
Eatrocity A violently gluttonous act Jeff Jackson
Podiatryst An illicit foot massage Bo Scarborough
Engaugement Estimating how long you think a totally incompatible couple will stay together after the wedding A Boodoosingh
Avacadro’s Number The measure of deliciousness in one guacamole Noah Dorsky
Shelfie Someone who takes (and posts on social media) tons of pictures of home improvement projects Marla
Understandung Clear awareness that you’ve stood in dog poop Glen V. Thompson
Celebraty A badly behaved movie star Marla
Spontificate Spontaneously express one’s opinion in a dogmatic way, usually BS Vali Jamal
Dreams of Glandeur Breast implants Rob Jensik
Premiscuous When you are loose ahead of your time Glen V. Thompson
Pundamentals The basic tenets of joke telling Marla
Blaboratory Where speach pathologists work Edward Brode
Dognut A donut that has become stale and is now only fit for consumption by a dog. Sam Stevens
Icesofacia When you try to get the last little bit of of drink out of your glass and the ice stuck at the bottom lets go, careens down the side of your glass and hits your face Name withheld
Megraine Someone who gives everyone else a headached by constantly talking about themselves Marla
Ambivalet A ho-hum factotum, unconcierged about his duties Doug Langmead
Investigation Experimental pharmaceutical Matthew B Winkel
Infandel A non-believer who drinks wine Bo Scarbrough
Destinesia When one walks to another room with a purpose in mind and, upon entering the room, forgets what that purpose was. Daniel C. Shaw
Relucktant Hesitant to keep gambling after winning a big jackpot. Matthew B. Winkel
Barberian The guy savages go to see when they want to get a haircut. Bruce Dillon
Stragedy A game plan which results in a loss Name Withheld
Torpido A floating mine Doug Langmead
Naggravation The feeling you get when your passenger hassles you while giving you directions while you are driving. Michael Bennett
Stupiodic Lacks intelligent decision making Roy Hiroto
Screenpray Script for a Biblical epic movie Jeff Jackson
Heffervescence The aura that overhwhelms you the moment you step into a dairy barn. Bruce Dillon
Squarea A rectangular region having four congruent sides Matthew B. Winkel
Nyeti The Abominable No-man Doug Langmead
Farcebook Where people go and post “inspirationals” about being good to everyone which you know they don’t abide by Vali Jamal
Iditabrod The long race home over open country after having a one-night stand Name Withheld
Hoebo A homeless hooker Bo Scarbrough
Apparitious Someone or something having an ephemeral or ghost-like appearance or quality Jacob Galuten
Pomegranite The exotic fruit that looked so good at the store but dessicates to rock in your refrigerator June Gaishin
Nanofinity The interval of time between the moment when your dropped hammer impacts your big toe and the first evidence of the enormous pain that is to follow. Mark Beran
Relaxative When you confused the mineral oil for the vodka! Bo Scarbrough
Broncodilator An illegal steroid for wild horses Matthew B. Winkel
Idemise Assign priorities on a bucket list Doug Langmead
Holastic Synthetic material used in sphincter muscle replacements Stanley Kimmel
Slowbber Lazy drooling Jeff Jackson
Pushauvinist Any mail who acts like a chauvinist around his mates until his wife turns up. Andrew Mark Ayliffe
taxicrab The condition of becoming embittered with humanity after too much interaction witht the general public as a hack driver Noah Dorsky
dumbrella the stupid, cheap umbrella you have to purchase because you have twelve at home but not one with you when it starts to rain Name Withheld
doorpedo A cat that one is trying desperately to prevent from getting outside Paul Nienaber
feng shuit when rearranging the furniture just doesn’t work at all Tom Ross
petrofied the socio-political condition of being stuck in the distant past if one’s economy is based primarily on oil Noah Dorsky
grayzers Retirees who attend annual shareholder meetings soley for free food. name withheld
celerities people whose suddent rise to fame is exceeded only by their meteoric fall into obscurity John Fasanello
Moot Camp training that is irrelevant by the time it’s finished Tom Ross
funancier the party that pays for the entertainment of another (see also “parent” or “boyfriend”) Noah Dorsky
turbulience instigating an animated conversation with a fellow passenger or stewardess to mask the rictus of fear that descents the moment the “fasten seat belts” announcement is made. Doug Langmead
Anemometer a device for measuring wind speed and chill factor effect on anemones Vivienne Bibby
omporium A large retail store selling a wide variety of copyrighted mantras Rick Marianetti
clothestrophophia fear of entering ones closet, over-stuffed with way, way too much clothing (alt: closetropobia) Bob Wieneke
genderalities global assumptions made based soley on gender Name withheld
Bbking Powder All that remained when the blues got soul Doug Langmead
ratiffication the process leading up to a fight between two rats Michael Klopfer
incomspicuous gaudily displaying one’s expensive acquisitions David Brown
caristehenics stretching exercises done by a passenger during a long drive to keep from crampling up Dave Easby
dieties goddesses who thwart your good intentions about the quantity and quality of your food intake Vali Jamal
Levitrap the unfortunate consequence of mixing Levitra and tight blue jeans Kelsey Ishimoto
automagically Something that magically happens or appears without planning or effort “The clean laundry automagically appears in my drawer” Lois Matthews
dimpulsive instant conceptualization and actualization of a really stupid idea Allison Cleveland
Laphorism A saying that will make you laugh, as well as stop and think Joe Hensley
Annoymous To be irritated by someone or the actions of someone you cannot identify Benedict Moudry
Ostrasize Largest eggs available Richard Williams
Atmosphire A fire whose purpose is not to heat but to provide ambience Rick Parker
ultraviolent plight surrounded by thugs Richard Williams
Martyre sacrificial rubber Doug Langmead
quitar the invariable guitar at a friend’s house that he only tried to play for, like, three months Sean McElhiney
Texasperation What you feel when someone refuses to stop talking like a cowboy Derek Lockhart
Gramshackle A restraining device used in the story “Fifty Shades of Grey Hair” Bob Kriz
Beerkat That dude who keeps standing up on his barstool trying to find the bartender Carol Palombo
Slimericks Bulimic pentameters Narelle Rance & Doug Langmead
notwork a network in its typical state Name withheld
graftitude A sincere appreciation for accepting something that is not rightfully yours Dave Drinan
Polates A popular exercise regimen performed using a pole Barbara Price
haranoid when you keep thinking a hair is in your food or mouth Michael Klopfer
Predaction taking back words before you say them Name withheld
homeover when you’re having people over on short notice and you cram things under beds and into closets to hide your shame Sean McElhiney
flabulous For those with no problem being slightly overweight; they’re spectacular! Name withheld
publush in other words, a Dewars sunburn Carol Palombo
Stabble a knife fight in a barn Doug Langmead
baughter a high-maintenance daughter (alt: boughter) Becky Bartlett
toppulance decorating your house better than the rich guy next door Name withheld
heirarchy a hierarchy of how the heirs will succeed to the throne Vali Jamal
Deja moo Got Milk Harry Kleinberg
condomlences the sympathy expression to someone who had an accident due to a defective prophylactic Indranil Goswami
philossophy The wisdom you learn from the extra money you spend when youre debts are not paid in time Dave Drinan
pachydorm the elephant in the college student’s room Bob Kriz
judgementia an illness in which someone is judgemental without even being aware of the condition Neil McCall
debtutantes The nouveau-poor Doug Langmead
Ingeedients recipe for investment bank collapse Kathy Deacon
bragarious enoying the company of other people all praising you Matt Iyer
Richard IIInterred the reburial of a long-dead English King exhumed from a carpark. Such was his lot. Doug Langmead
bransmutation the change in bowel movement due to excess fiber in the system Bob Kriz
mealibug the insect that you expect to find in your Chinese carry out. Dave Drinan
excreaton after passing through the system, this creaton is now reformed Matt Iyer
facadomy The act of desecrating a historic building by creating a building front that is tasteless and out of character and historic context from the original building. Barbara Price
Beelzebulb One of those awful corkscrew fluorescent replacement “CFL” lamps that flickers and blinks like the devil Bob Burchett
Poasting Bragging, boasting or tooting our own horn on social networks Haleila Nusinow
pacebook a marathoner’s strategy notes Jeff Jackson
dramastic A combination of ‘dramatic’ and ‘fantastic’, probably be used most often in sporting events. Opher Banarie
dreadaphor An implied comparison, resolution of which reveals information you’d rather not know Tom Cushing
Slimmer Penitentiary for cachetic felons Henry Kleinberg
paytience Patience in accepting late payment of rent, for example Vali Jamal
Equineox A bullock that can’t bellow because it’s horse Douge Langmead
Rectiffy The attempt to fix or address something.  The outcome could go either way. Matt Iyer
Banshe No women allowed Henry Kleinberg
ligh the ‘low-high’ temperature record for a given day Frank Hanou
impire a small and sneaky arbiter of a baseball game Jeff Jackson
Avatart Disreputable female avatar Evan Gamblin
Gramschackle 50 Shades of Grey Hair Bob Kriz
precrastinate takes action first, not never Jeff Jackson
Belatant Purposefully being late to something Matt Iyer
meritricious attractive as well as meriful Vali Jamal
urinade what becomes of your Arnold Palmer beverage if you piss off your waiter while ordering Rob Blackman
Twistory A false accounting or incorrect version of history usually intended to mislead people Matt Iyer
the improb comedy club for people unlikely to be comedians Jeff Jackson
textoserone the hormone responsible for the inability of a man to text a woman longer than 30 minutes without sending her a picture of his junk Robert Lisak
obcessive prone to compulsive stopping Bar Lowenberg
Baralysis the state that your device is in when you are downloading something and the bar stops moving David Birch
Furd a really crappy car Jeff Jackson
Shpy Aston Martin driver with a breathalyser reading of .007 Doug Langmead
chandling The instince that causes highly sarcastic people, when faced with utter idiocy, to do as Chandler Bing would do Heather Barnes
gullery meeting place frequented by seabirds Jeff Jackson
Grandom When a senior citizen does something unexpected and completely against the rules of logic. i.e. it was completely grandom when the old man drove the wrong direction down the drive-thru lane. Stephanie Mennie
prepaganda expensive private school marketing tools Jeff Jackson
impun contest this contest Doug Langmead
Snubmissions rejected submissions Jeff Jackson
Somnambulance What you call when things get terminally boring John Neyer
Blalking Someone who walks with eyes glued to the smartphone, often blocking pedestrian traffic and blocking out the environment Jim Henry
Forenication The act of being screwed by the golf gods Gary Albrecht
aprostate Someone who leans forward and falls flat after renouncing faith David Spharler
Studium A place where the games that are held are intellectual Hal Warnick
drudgerydo An ancient instrument used by men when told they need to help clean.  It is a 6′ long hollowed out pipe-like instrument that emits a whining howl. Bill Verostek
Spandthrift One who is obsessed with buying elasticized, figure-enhancing garments. Janine Witte
despire when hate deflates David Spharler
Calfe Small, usually casual restaurant that specializes in veal Sheryl Smith
Psychopith A tersely cogent whack-job Doug Glant
Titcoin Virtual money that can only be spent on porn sites Eldonna Edwards
Texterminater The person with ultimate authority to change or delete text in an article Bill Verostek
ignoramish the native tongue of ignorami Pete Pirotte
Densa A group of people known for their lack of intelligence when it comes to picking up on human body language and innuendos Name Withheld
Candid Chimera A frank but foolish fancy Doug Glant
rumshackle Caught planking with Captain Morgan Don Laybourne
Peeoccupied While urinating can’t hear someone talking; can’t do something else while into a long urinating session.. Bill Verostek
Fantestical Unbelievably large gonads Kevin Sutherland
Sleep-Depraved The condition of turning into an evil, cranky monster due to lack of sleep (common to adults with new babies) Jennifer Simon
Fitbot A computerized device that tricks your activity tracker into thinking you’re burning calories while you veg out on the sofa Eldonna Edwards
Widow Shopping Perusing the obituaries for prospective singles Andrew Clipperton
Bolshevicks A congeries of commies with chest colds Doug Glant
Reincatnation Why cats have 9 lives Doug Langmead
Zeitguest When a visitor stays long enough that they have unofficially moved in Eldonna Edwards
kitchen newborn German cat Peter Schaaf


17 Responses to 2015