We’re not expecting anyone to troll all the way back to 2008 to see if their word has appeared previously – we simply ascribe it to great minds thinking alike. For those who care to check their ideas, or simply want to go for a wander in the woods of wordplay, here is an alphabetical list of all the words that have ever been published and are compliant with the rules. Anagrams and Ringers have been excluded for the sake of purity.
New Word Original Word Definition
Lardvark Aardvark Cross between a pig and an anteater
Abacuss Abacus Heard when a tremor moves the beads in mid-calculation
Abbacus Abacus The words uttered when your kids play the Mama Mia DVD for the tenth time
Abracus Abacus An instrument used to calculate the size of a woman's breasts
Abalonely Abalone A mollusk without a date
Abaloney Abalone Surf and turf in one dish
Abandone Abandon To permanently reach the end of an on again/ off again relationship
Abandonmeet Abandonment Mixer for nihilists
Ablandonment Abandonment Leaving a tasteless meal unfinished
Abastement Abasement Reduction of cooking juice
Abbraviation Abbreviation A short hop
Abdicat Abdicate To sit on the floor, rather than risk evicting the tabby from your chair
Gabdicate Abdicate Compulsive talker gone mute.
Abdoctor Abductor Medical person who was found guilty of kidnapping patients
Abbeyance Abeyance The flight of capital to a monestry
Obeyance Abeyance Leave the obedience to a later time
Tabhor Abhor Dislike the excesses of the tipping tradition
Bability Ability The skill to talk incessantly
Cabjure Abjure Uber's mission
Dablute Ablute Armpits only
Lablution Ablution Dog washing
Abnergate Abnegate A scandalous denial of responsibility for hacking social security data by the Dogepatch Plumbers
Tabnegate Abnegate Zero tip for awful service.
Abnegution Abnegation Looking at your belly for motivation to give up donuts
Cabnegation Abnegation When ride shares replace taxis
Abenormal Abnormal A good average day for President Lincoln
Labnormality Abnormality An experiment gone wrong
Nabode Abode Jail
Gabolition Abolition No talking
Abdominable Abominable Unpleasantly obese
Abdominable Abominable A descriptive word for those unfamiliar with planks and crunches
Abdominable Abominable Describing an immoral display of grotesque waistline
Abdomination Abomination The USA, now the 18th most obese nation in the world with 42.7% of adults tipping the scales. (How they all fit on is a mystery - ED.)
Abombination Abomination Nuclear War
Adoriginal Aboriginal One's first child or first love
Arbortion Abortion Clear-cutting an old growth forest
Abrahadabra Abracadabra After the wild party, a girl was repeating this while searching for her missing undies.
Cabracadabra Abracadabra A powerful and magical incantation used to conjure a taxi
Abrahem Abraham The first Jewish tailor
Jabrasion Abrasion A possible result of punches landed while boxing
Cabrogate Abrogate Refusing to take a taxi that you have hailed because you do not like the look of thee driver
Gabrogate Abrogate Stupid excessive talk regarding one’s lack of responsibility.
Afrogation Abrogation Discontinuance of tightly-curled, poofy hairstyles
Tabscond Abscond Hurriedly left after not paying restaurant bill.
Abscondor Absconder A bird that’s flown
Absalutely Absolutely Being sure you respected your superior officer properly.
Fabsolutely Absolutely Abosolutely fabulous
Labsolve Absolve DNA testing that can prove or disprove accused's guilt.
Absteamious Abstemious Deciding never to use Turkish Baths again
Apstemious Abstemious Someone who doesn’t use any of the apps on their phone
Abstruce Abstruse Agreement between enemies to stop fighting which is too dificult to believe.
Tabsurdity Absurdity Preposterous guitar notation
Wabut Abut A stray hair
Acanemia Academia That tired listless feeling one gets at exam time
Academice Academic Rodents in college walls
Acarpella Acapella To be performed without a certain very bony fish
Accelerave Accelerate Gradual increase in tempo of the dance party play list
Acceleryate Accelerate To rapidly consume a stalk of celery in an effort to subdue pre-dinner hunger pangs
Accelevate Accelerate (v): The act of pressing an elevator button several times in rapid succession with the intention of making it arrive sooner
Accelebration Acceleration Rushing the preparations for a special event
Accilent Accident When you do something excellent by accident
Taccident Accident Uber disaster
Acclamotion Acclamation Meeting proposal passed unanimously
Acclimmate Acclimate The guide who accompanies you on a tricky mountain ascent
Waccolade Accolade Unexpected, off the wall praise that you know you don't deserve
Saccolades Accolades Insincere words of praise as you are being "excessed".
Accountrant Accountant Oath muttered when taxes are owed
Accootrements Accoutrements Paraphernalia required to support a crochety old fellow
Accretin Accretion The process of gradually becoming a complete moron
Hacknowledge Acknowledge Understanding how to bypass digital systems through clever, unauthorized means.
Acknotledgement Acknowledgement To agree or promise with your fingers crossed behind your back
Acnedote Acnedote A spotty memory for telling jokes in your anecdotage
Lacolytes Acolytes Power outage resulting in a blackout, especially in a church.
Racquisition Acquisition When one gets breast implants
Achre Acre A very large area of pain
Acrew Acre Employ more people to work on a ship or plane.
Acrimany Acrimony When everybody is pissed off
Acrimoney Acrimony Money derived from ill-gotten gains
Acrapolis Acropolis Porta-Potties at ancient Greek construction sites.
Actinmycete Actinomycete A movie star broke her leg and now she's only able to work sitting down.
Aption Action Action done in the appropriate way.
Octuary Actuary A very clever accountant who is limited in the type of client he can take on as he can only count up to eight
Tactuary Actuary Someone who assesses all risk of manners
Vacumen Acumen The ability to clean the floor with good judgments
Wacumen Acumen Synonym for "weird"
Acujuncture Acupuncture That one place where ALL pain is relieved.
Acujuncture Acupuncture The use of two intersecting needles inserted at a single joint
Ocupuncture Acupuncture An injury resulting from a jab in the eye with a sharp stick
Addendumb Addendum A stupid addition
Caddiction Addiction Weakness for philanderers.
Maddled Addled Dementia intensified by severe psychopathy!!
Eddress Address Email address
Adebt Adept Adroitly managing to be nonplussed without being overowed
Adequote Adequate Acceptable citation
Adheares Adheres Plastic surgery to add a third ear to improve one’s hearing.
Adheshive Adhesive Sticky substance produced by bees
Adieul Adieu Fight or flight
Aoieu Adieu Adieu…...aoieu
A meerkat morphing into a common vowel
Madjective Adjective “Colorful” words used when angry, usually during an argument.
Adjudycate Adjudicate To arrive at a formal judgement about a disputed matter bu accepting the decision handed down by Judge Judy.
Badjudicate Adjudicate Controversial judicial decisions result in shock and anger.
Badjudication Adjudication A formal pronouncement that is both immoral and unethical.
Adjunkt Adjunct Garbage added to other trash as a supplementary rather than essential part
Fadjunct Adjunct A short-lived and popular fashion craze added to your outfit which unmistakably displays that you are up to date and current with new trends
Fadjure Adjure Adamantly command that all adopt the latest popular rage.
Ad-Glib Ad-Lib Condensed version of "Ad-glibitum erratum," the motto of off-the-cuff noundescripts
Admenistration Administration The business and financial side of the advertising trade
Addministrator Administrator An accountant
Administraitor Administrator A conspiratorial bureaucrat
Fadmirer Admirer A dedicated follower of fashion
Madmission Admission Angrily and reluctantly admitting you did something wrong even in the face of your obvious guilt
Idolescence Adolescence The tendency among the immature to too-easily fall in love.
Adelescent Adolescent New perfume from popular UK singer for the younger crowd
Adulescent Adolescent A pubescent pop idol
Adorkable Adorable A socially awkward person who is delightful and charming
Androidt Adroit Precise movements of robotic machinery
Adultation Adulation Bar-mitzvahs, bat-mitzvahs, sweet 16 parties, and other celebrations of leaving childhood behind
Fadulation Adulation Admiration of short-lived crazes.
Adultoration Adulteration Mom and Dad give a formal speech to the kids about house rules
Adolterer Adulterer Dimwitted being who wrongly believes that he has had a promiscuous affair.
Adoltery Adultery Cheating with an idiot
Fadultery Adultery Trendy dalliances
Adenturer Adventurer A specialist in false teeth
Advherb Adverb Word qualifying plants used for perfume
Addverse Adverse The process of making a poem longer.
Madverse Adverse Manic and angry poetry.
Cadversity Adversity Being responsible for disastrous calamities
Badvertising Advertising A form of advertising so terrible, it drives potential customers away
Advacate Advocate Recommend ceasing to occupy some place or post
Cadvocate Advocate Lawyer for the cheater
Baerial Aerial Standing up when you should be lying down at your funeral and getting a much better reception as a result.
Aerobic Aerobics A flying ballpoint pen
Afur Afar A distant pelt
Gaffable Affable One who typically articulates and acts in inappropriate unfortunate behavior.
Gaffected Affected [1] One's propensity to say stupid things in public; [2] without a personal filter
Affuction Affection Pretending to care in order to get laid.
Offection Affection The exact moment love dies
Gaffinity Affinity One who is extremely prone to say and do inappropriate things.
Afflick Afflict Kiss ass
Effluent Affluent Someone who is really good at pronouncing the letter "F"
Laffordability Affordability Today's Cost of Living is definitely no laughing matter!!
Affiordable Affordable A Sound Investment
Laffront Affront A homophonic, confrontational pachyderm
Aftghan Afghan The last citizen from Afghanastan in a long line of Afghanies.
Afghonistan Afghanistan USA finally moves all its troops out.
Aficionada Aficionado A person who hates all sports, particularly soccer
Afictionado Aficionado Fan of reading novels
Gaficionado Aficionado Sadly, one prone to frequent inappropriate remarks and actions.
Aftermirth Afterbirth The chortles and chuckles that follow a hearty guffaw
Afterfare Aftercare On your credit card, the Uber charges to send her home in the morning
Aftermeth Aftermath Post-rehab life
Rafterthought Afterthought Maybe the lumberjack should have put on a life jacket
Gastopia Agastopia Intestinal fetish
Aginda Agenda A plan revolving around martinis
Nagenda Agenda The list of regular complaints made by your wife, partner, boss etc. about undone chores and other personal deficiencies.
Ragenda Agenda Compilation of constant aggravating events,exasperating dialogues and inane, imbecilic activities.
Aggrandicement Aggrandizement Rolling with a loaded pair at the craps table
Laggravate Aggravate The act of knowingly walking too slow on a sidewalk to get back at someone for complaining that you walked too slow on a sidewalk.
Agravated Aggravated The feeling a farmer gets when the crops don't come in.
Baggravation Aggravation The inability to open a plastic bag in the produce section of a supermarket because you are wearing a mask
Baggravation Aggravation When you are carrying a paper grocery bag and one of the handles rips off
Naggravation Aggravation The feeling you get when your passenger hassles you while giving you directions while you are driving.
Aggressieve Aggressive A menacing strainer
Aggrestive Aggressive That atmosphere in the malls at Christmas, with festive decorations, music, and people willing to stampede their fellow man for a bargain on electronics
Gagnostic Agnostic A person who is uncertain about the existence of jokes
Nagnostic Agnostic A woman who has no faith in her husband’s competencies, and keeps telling him about it
Tagony Agony Shopping in 2013 on your 1973 wages
Angoraphobia Agoraphobia Fear of going outside in a sweater.
Angoraphobia Agoraphobia N., a fear of meeting a large number of rabbits in an open space.
Aboraphobic Agoraphobic Fear of boredom
Agrophobia Agorophobia Fear of living in rural areas.
Agrivulture Agriculture A bird of prey that decided to become a vegetarian.
Agroind Aground Coming down hard on the crossbar of your bicycle
Ii Ai Intrinsic Intelligence
Nai Ai (Pronounced "Nay") Artificial Intransigence - a web-based resource for bureaucracies
Airborn Airborne A woman gives birth while skydiving.
Hairborne Airborne Flying locks on a blustery day
Paired Aired Driving while NOT under the influence
Airfright Airfreight When your plane runs out of fuel at 35,000 feet.
Airiers Airier Wide open spaces
Eairlift Airlift A cosmetic procedure that gives the impression of a dropped face, resulting in an air of being perpetually disconsolate.
Airlime Airline What you get in your G&T with in-flight service
Hairliner Airliner Toupee in a breeze
Hairplane Airplane 1) Slope of a Mohawk cut
Airwhorthy Airworthy Mail-order inflatable companion
Nairworthy Airworthy Hairy palms
Aisdle Aisle Two pews and far between
Gaisle Aisle A devious way of getting to your seat
Akimbl Akimbo TV show about a man hunting for one armed bowlegged man
Alabasterd Alabaster A guy with a heart of stone.
Galabaster Alabaster Festive white stone or plaster
Alackrity Alacrity Regret over a hasty decision
Palacrity Alacrity Wonderful way that your friends eagerly support and join you in many activities.
Alcatross Albatross A maximum-security prison in San Francisco Bay for birds convicted of talonies.
Alcaczar Alcazar A Russian potentate in a Spanish castle
Abchemy Alchemy Magic weight loss
Alchomy Alchemy The seemingly magical transformative effects derived from drinking alcohol.
Alcohog Alcohol Someone who won’t pass the bottle
Alcoholy Alcohol Sacramental wine
Alcohowl Alcohol The sound of isopropyl
Alcoholit Alcoholic Person that has had a great deal of alcohol to drink.
Alcoolic Alcoholic Addicted to air conditioning
Talcoholic Alcoholic Someone who gets carried away with talcum powder
Palcoholics Alcoholics Drinking buddies
Alexapharmic Alexipharmic A way to avoid having smart devices in your home.
Alegae Algae Tavern growth
Palgal Algal Girlfriend
Algebro Algebra Math for guys
Aloebra Algebra A bikini top containing soothing gel.
Malgorithm Algorithm Specific defined dystopian scheme by unscrulous culprits to recreate our government from" for and by the people ", to simply solely by and for the wealthy and powerful at the exclusion and benefit of the people.
Palgorithm Algorithm Wonderful music being made by friends together.
Adlibi Alibi An off-the-cuff reason to take off the cuffs
Elibi Alibi The excuse you use to jab your way through a crowd.
Salienate Alienate Rejecting salt
Alianated Alienated A woman impregnated by an extra-terrestial being
Alionator Alienator Nobody has heard from the woman who went to Africa to help take care of the big cats
Alimoany Alimony Sound in divorce court.
Mallegations Allegations Where banana republics can afford to site their embassies
Allegorycal Allegorical Horror stories with a life lesson.
Alligatory Alligator A cosmetic surgery where crocodiles go to have their snouts tapered and dark hides lightened. It costs an arm and allegory.
Allygator Alligator A supportive, encouraging swamp reptile
Balliteration Alliteration Base, basket, beach, billiard, bocce, bowling
Hallocated Allocated A new law that limits the number of times you can greet people in a certain time span
Almopt Almost The janitor finished cleaning the bathroom floor.
Baloha Aloha An extra special Hawaiian greeting
Aclone Alone You’re never alone when you’re a clone
Alooft Aloof A dwelling-space for high-minded, semi-detached tenants
Baloof Aloof Bear-headed with your nose in the air
Alohabet Alphabet On a Hawaiian cruise, you lose your last $20 at blackjack
Alphabat Alphabet The very first flying mammal to live in a cave
Alphabent Alphabet Italics
Alphabert Alphabet A muppet on steroids
Alpto Alpo The high end of a low range
Altaration Alteration INcremental change in theology when religion is forced to adapt to modern society
Balternate Alternate To dance without grace nor skill now and then.
Galternative Alternative The mistress or "other woman"
Maltimeter Altimeter A gauge to determine the height of all things bad
Alcitude Altitude The increasing effects of alcohol as you rise in altitude.
Alpto Alto The high end of a low range
Maltruist Altruist A person who espouses absolute selfishness, has a bumper sticker proudly displayed on their car that reads,"Me, Myself and I," and exhibits facial blindness when trying to interact with folks of lesser power, authority or fortune.
Altrustic Altruistic A farm worker who stands in for another who is absent
Paltruistic Altruistic Extraordinary friend who aids all with compassion and humanity.
Aluminia Alumina When a pile of aluminum reflects it’s goals on others.
Aluminumb Aluminum The mind-numbing blather that comes from a former graduate at graduation ceremony speeches
Aluminus Aluminum An alloy without aluminum
Calzheimers Alzheimers When your older phone occasionally forgets that is has a fully functioning SIM card installed
Halzheimer'S Alzheimer'S The new wonder drug: now you can hide your own Easter Eggs
Amalgamotion Amalgamation Move to merge
Amaranthin Amaranthine Condition of one who never gains weight
Amagement Amazement The state of suddenly realizing you are old
Amazeing Amazing Difficult to navigate or find what you're looking for. Applies to cities, stores, and, sometimes, someones way of thinking.
Amadon Amazon A large, aggressive man
Damazon Amazon When your overnight delivery takes three days
Amazomnia Amazonia The act of scouring Amazon so hard that you can't sleep. A reminder of your Amazomnia normally presents itself 2 days later on your door step.
Ambassadork Ambassador A representative who has credentials but is a real looser
Ambossador Ambassador Senior envoy dispatched to instruct, demand, threaten, and dictate the actions to be taken by foreign heads of state
Ambergrios Ambergris Smelling like a rose but feeling like shit
Ambiextrous Ambidextrous Possessing a third useful appendage
Ambilextrous Ambidextrous A dyslexic’s
Ambitextrous Ambidextrous The ability to send phone messages to your friends equally fast with both thumbs.
Ambitextrous Ambidextrous The condition a person is in following a dose of Ambien and just prior to sleep when they message complete nonsense on their smart device.
Bambidextrous Ambidextrous A doe who gives birth to twin fawns
Dambient Ambient The pervasive desired evolution in our country to allow Autocracy to replace Democracy will not and cannot be tolerated.
Ambiguilty Ambiguity Able to deny blame
Ambiguilty Ambiguity On the other hand I just may have done it
Dambiguous Ambiguous Utter insane chaos on steroids.
Lambition Ambition Desire to run away
Ambivalance Ambivalence Moody drapery
Ombivalence Ambivalence Noun; requesting strength, from yourself, from the universe; and then accepting that strength and living it. Being unconditionally indifferent to the societal, cultural, and personal demands placed upon oneself by others; not being controlled. Being absolutely comfortable with who you are.
Ambivalet Ambivalent A ho-hum factotum, unconcierged about his duties
Bambivalent Ambivalent Came out as Blixen
Dambivalent Ambivalent One's self discontent about having contradictory opinions and attitudes about something or some one.
Lambrosia Ambrosia The sweet nectar of freedom to an escaped convict.
Ambulantce Ambulance The walking wounded
Ambullance Ambulance Medical conveyance for hypochondriacs
Dambulatory Ambulatory A British conservative cursing the Brexit decision and trying to walk away from it
Ambrush Ambush When it takes the whole family to hold down the dog for grooming
Fambush Ambush When a member of your family appears out of the blue
Jambush Ambush A shrub of overripe berries
Yambush Ambush 2nd cousin of the tater tree
Fameliorate Ameliorate Become a legend by improving Life for others.
Ameh Amen Yeah sure, whatever!
Amendlent Amendment Change holiday before Easter
Womendment Amendment 1920 change to the US Constitution which expanded voting rights beyond men
Amensa Amens A group of intelligent Christians
Americant American Someone who’s not allowed in the United States.
Americant American Something many politicians can’t seem to avoid when speechifying.
Amxcable Amicable Streaming charges on your American Express card are denied
Amego Amigo The thing that gets me in more trouble that anything.
Ammpunition Ammunition Resulting when your supply of ammo is cut off
Bamnesia Amnesia An inability to remember the recipes of of Chef Emeril Lagasse
Damnesia Amnesia You can't remember what the h*** happened.
Hamnesia Amnesia A situation where someone forgets they're kosher
Hamnesiac Amnesiac Overly dramatic actor who can’t remember where he lives
Amoelba Amoeba An organism that is delicious when spread on toasted crackers( you need rather a lot)
Amorkised Amortised Robin Williams dressed up for a TV series
Amortime Amortize Honeymoon night in Barcelona.
Amplifry Amplify To increase in size by breading and then cooking via immersion in hot oil (also see “jumbo shrimp”)
Camplitude Amplitude The amount by which your enthusiasm varies while staying in the woods, eating half-cooked food, and sleeping on the ground.
Abusement Amusement What a sadist looks for on boring weekends
Anachronismo Anachronism An outdated Atlas
Tanachronism Anachronism Outdated dedication of some who bask in the sun and visit Tanning Salons to get that "Healthy Glow".
Anacondo Anaconda A very long very narrow accommodation that sometimes crushes and eats its residents
Banalgesic Analgesic Devoid of all aspirination
Anallog Analog Result of 2 weeks eating a low fiber diet
Panalog Analog Agitated critic of telling time from figuring out numbers, positions of hands on clock, as compared to digital times displayed that requires no ability at all.
Analogouts Analogous A pain in the ass similar or comparable to a buildup of uric acid crystals around the anus.
Banalysis Analysis An unoriginal, boring, detailed explanation of something
Analize Analyze To make something crappy by studying it too much.
Analyse Analyze Scrutinizing the butthole.
Analzing Analyzing A cold-water bidet
Anaphylattic Anaphylactic A house with a cozy room upstairs owned by a young couple
Anarschism Anarchism Dilemma over how to destroy everything
Anarcy Anarchy A state of chaos resulting from the absence of narcotics.
Manarchy Anarchy The process by which hereditary succession to the throne is managed in banana kingdoms
Nanarchy Anarchy An environment in which grandma rules the roost
Amathema Anathema Hatred of math
Ancestorm Ancestor Unexpected result from paternity test
Ancestory Ancestor The story of one's ancestors
Fancestors Ancestors Those interested in genealogy in hopes that they’re related to someone famous
Incestors Ancestors Your great-grandparents were first cousins
Manchor Anchor Barcalounger.
Anchorale Anchorage A singing group that just stands there
Anchoired Anchored Hung up on a choral reef
Anchormaw Anchorman Mouthpiece of the government or some even more nefarious entity who announces the news
Andaunte Andante My rather pedestrian aunt
Randante Andante Last runner of 26.2 mile marathon.
Candroid Android The Tin Man
Handroid Android Robotic cowboy
Tandroids Androids C-3PO and R2-D2 got bronzed walking under the Tatooine desert sun.
Anectotal Anecdotal A story told so you’ll believe it has some greater meaning
Alemia Anemia Low on beer
Anemometer Anemometer A device for measuring wind speed and chill factor effect on anemones
Anesthalgic Anesthalgia The sense of being desensitized from what is going on around you.
Amnesthesia Anesthesia A pardon extended to anything said while under the influence of medical narcotics (could also include “recreational” narcotics if desired)
Anusthesia Anesthesia Why you can’t remember your own colonoscopy
Anjels Angels Spiritual beings that can congeal from mists into colorful, semi-solid, fruit-flavored forms
Angiogrim Angiogram A rather disturbing medical report
Anziogram Angiogram A secret map of a site for a seaborne landing in Italy during the Second World War
Angiopasty Angioplasty A device when applied properly, has the ability to cure a man’s broken heart.
Angiopasty Angioplasty Special cardiological procedure often used on Las Vegas showgirls
Kangora Angora A woolly jumper
Bangst Angst Fear of having a bomb dropped on you
Bangst Angst What you feel when you know you’re overdrawn.
Gangst Angst Fear of “the hood”
Rangst Angst Morning upset caused by the sounding of one's alarm
Yangst Angst Fear of men
Angstrum Angstrom Shortest ukulele lick ever played
Anguillifork Anguilliform A tool for roasting an eel
Languish Anguish To pretend to know how to use the words and phrases of another country while drunk
Animall Animal A shopping center for pets
Fanimal Animal Someone who really really likes furry creatures
Fanimosity Animosity The dislike of the supporters of sports teams other than your own.
Ankler Ankle A fisherman without wader boots
Unkle Ankle A down-at-heel relative who always turns up for weddings and funerals in the same shabby suit
Antiversary Anniversary N., what your anniversary date becomes after the relationship ends
Annoncement Announcement An impromptu declaration, made off the top of one's head
Adnoying Annoying Causing annoyance to internet users with the bombardment of pop-up advertisements.
Innoying Annoying The irritation or annoyance caused by a person paying attention to their iPhone or smartphone and not their surroundings, therefore bumping into people or almost causing accidents
Tannoying Annoying Causing irritation over a public address system
Mannual Annual Hand book for guys who show up once a year
Annurally Annually The yearly race
Annualment Annulment Calling off everything of significance for at least a year
Fannuls Annuls Smokestacks on a hovercraft
Anodine Anodyne Making a meal out of painkillers
Nanomaly Anomaly Microscopic irregularity
Anonamity Anonymity Friendliness toward strangers
Annoymous Anonymous To be irritated by someone or the actions of someone you cannot identify
Anonymouse Anonymous An unidentified cheese poacher
Nanorak Anorak Skiwear for atoms
Tanorexia Anorexia Compelled to sun-bathe
Tanorexic Anorexic Too thin, too tan
Unother Another More of the same
Anschlusst Anschluss Coercive conjugation
Answear Answer Reply with profanity
Manswer Answer The reply to a comment or situation that only a man would offer. “Well then, hit it with the bigger hammer!”
Untagonism Antagonism Enmity in former Facebook friends resulting in the removal of identification captions from posted pictures
Auntagonist Antagonist A.k.a. “Uncle”
Antaganoistic Antagonistic Stop with all that pandemonium!
Aunteater Anteater 1950s "B" movie that never made it to theaters
Antelobe Antelope The rim of cartilage between the opening of the ear canal and the lower fleshy part of the outer ear
Anteloper Antelope Someone who jumps in and raises the stakes in a poker game without having a seat at the table
Anterope Antelope String
Auntelope Antelope When one’s relative secretly runs off to get married.
Wanterior Anterior Paleface
Ranthem Anthem Protest music
Anthropobcene Anthropocene Dating back to when porn first appeared on the net
Anthroapologist Anthropologist Future studies of human society and cultures in attempt to defend an ignorance so dense as to bend light.
Anthrapology Anthropology A general, broad-based apology to all beasts and things for the common bad behavior of the human race toward the planet (or, whatever).
Anthroapology Anthropology A philosophy that justifies prioritizing human concerns and endeavors ahead of all other organisms on Earth, regardless of their deleterious effects to any or all of said organisms.
Anticipotion Anticipation The drink to steel the nerves before a dreaded event or meeting
Anteclimax Anticlimax To bet after the cards are dealt
Bantics Antics Purge nature of those blood sucking bugs that inflict humans with serious health issues.
Auntidis-
Establishment-
ArianismAntidis-
Establishment-
ArianismThe old gal is all for it.(Whatever 'it' means)
Antidot Antidote A comma mistake
Antidot Antidote A dash
Antiqua Antigua Hunting for hidden objects of great value on a small Caribbean Isle
Antihisstamine Antihistamine Antidote for snake bite
Antimalardial Antimalarial Buckshot
Antimoney Antimony Bitcoins
Antioxirant Antioxidant Intense vocal explanations repeatedly, regarding benefits of certain foods products and behaviors.
Anteapathy Antipathy Strong dislike of tea
Auntique Antique The way your relatives always look ancient in old photos
Antethesis Antithesis The introduction to a Ph.D submission.
Antonymf Antonym A woodlands fairy transitions ...
Mantonym Antonym Woman
Cantonyms Antonyms Those who see "glasses half empty".
Fantonyms Antonyms Fanatical views
Pantonyms Antonyms Shortness of breath syndrome.
Rantonyms Antonyms Denials, complaints,expletives!!
Banxiety Anxiety Those who are ANTI everything different!!
Manxiety Anxiety (n): condition resulting from prolonged contact w/ self-absorbed men.
Appache Apache A mobile download that allows you to send smoke signals from your iphone
Apathletic Apathetic No longer caring about the Olympics
Appathetic Apathetic Bad at mobile gaming
Apithy Apathy Succinctive indifference
Epathy Apathy Understanding how someone feels but not caring
Aperitiff Aperitif What precedes make-up sex
Apexitif Aperitif The very best liqueur
Apertured Aperture The ability to sleep with one eye open
Paperture Aperture [1] A small but astonishingly painful opening in the skin caused by the edge of an envelope;
[2] what remains after using a hole-punch
Apox Apex Top of the Pox, number one on the Zit Parade
Gaphorism Aphorism When sharing a concise statement of a principle and there is an uncomfortable pause before you can frame the words.
Laphorism Aphorism A saying that makes you chuckle.
Aphrodaisiac Aphrodisiac An arousing flower
Aphrodisiact Aphrodisiac Love potion result
Kaplomb Aplomb Total loss of confidence
Naplomb Aplomb Self-assured destruction
Saplomb Aplomb Arrogance of an incompetent being.
Rapnea Apnea Running out of breath while rapping
Apocalapse Apocalypse Still here after 12/21/12
Apocalapse Apocalypse The day after every prediction of the End of the World to date
Apocalypso Apocalypse Last dance
Aporcalypse Apocalypse Waking up in a world where bacon does not exist
Avocalypse Apocalypse Anti-vax disaster
Apocalypstic Apocalyptic VERY dark red make up
Apocraphal Apocryphal A story that, despite the gravity lent to it by its patina of age, is still BS
Apoliticall Apolitical When the phone rings and its Robo asking for money and/or votes
Napolitical Apolitical When you govern as if there was no Camorra
Apollogize Apologize What NASA did after the Apollo 13 crew returned to earth safely
Apologezer Apologizer An old fellow who likes riding horses where he can whack players' balls with a mallet.
Apollogy Apology When the god of music and light seeks forgiveness
Appology Apology The study of mobile apps (Apologist – a person who studies mobile apps)
Apooplectic Apoplectic A fit of rage strong enough to convert incense to incontinence
Appoplectic Apoplectic Overcome with anger at the intrusive nature and/or number of ads in an app.
Apostracy Apostacy Raunchy renunciations.
Aspostasy Apostasy When the relinguishment of one's religion is as painful and lethal as a snake's bite
Aprostate Apostate Someone who leans forward and falls flat after renouncing faith
Apostrophy Apostrophe An ancient award given to the Disciple who performed most miracles in a month
Apostrophy Apostrophe A trophy you give out to one who doesn’t know the difference between its and it’s and writes: your’s their’s her’s
Apparatchick Apparatchik Female Rusian spy
Apparitious Apparitions Someone or something having an ephemeral or ghost-like appearance or quality
Nappasionato Appasionato Positive feelings that many have about daily naps.
Lappealing Appealing How your thighs look to the cat when you sit down
Appelation Appellation A name, such as that applied to a mountain range.
Aptellation Appellation A particularly fitting name for a person or a thing
Happendectomy Appendectomy Accidental surgery
Apprendicitis Appendicitis A distressful condition resulting from infatuation with your office female intern. “A cute” apprenticitis can put you in bed for weeks.
Appundicitis Appendicitis A humorous but fake medical condition
Aspendicitis Appendicitis Inflammation and rupture of the wallet which may occur when vacationing in this exclusive ski resort
Yappetizers Appetizers Engaging in light repartee and refreshments
Apploud Applaud Over enthusiastic cheering at the end of a speech
Amplesauce Applesauce My pasta is fine.
Amplicator Applicator A bluetooth enabled make-up brush or sponge
Appoortion Apportion How the indigent always get a smaller piece of the pie
Appoachable Approachable A good egg
Approxymate Approximate Approxymate
Apricon Apricot Passing off fake fruit
Apropois Apropos Just like a dolphin
Apropost Apropos Per your Instagram
Apropost Apropos A uniquely relevant and opportune addition to social media
Capropos Apropos The right hat at the perfect time
Napropos Apropos With important reference to a daily senior snooze.
Aptidude Aptitude A capable guy
Aptirude Aptitude A seemingly cruel flurry of WPM submissions mocking the master's typing skills
Laptitude Aptitude A good parental trait
Saptitude Aptitude Ability to only be a gullible foolish person (Touché ! - Ed.)
Aquamon Aquaman Underwater hero from Jamaica
Arabisque Arabesque A soup using lobsters from the Red Sea
Arabale Arable Egyptian beer made from grass clippings
Arbytrary Arbitrary Irrational, sudden craving for fast food
Warbitrary Arbitrary Declare war on a country because they have three R's in their name.
Barboreal Arboreal Stupid inane remark by ardent Climate Change Denier.
Barboretum Arboretum Upscale name for barber school.
Arbane Arcane Mysterious annoyance
Arcande Arcane Esoteric mind candy
Archadic Archaic Vintage 1980s video games
Tarchaic Archaic When asphalt is so out-of-date that you opt for a concrete driveway
Artchery Archery Drawing bows
Archipelego Archipelago 1] A group of scattered islands formed by variously colored plastic bricks
2] The ancestral lands of Minifigures
Arshitect Architect Designer of buildings that collapse when the front door is opened.
Parchival Archival Pertaining to a dry, dusty library
Marchive Archive Recalling high school marching band!
Wardent Ardent Impact on defense budget when troops are deloyed for conflict
Yarduous Arduous Keeping up with seasonal cleanups over the years gets tougher
Argumen Argument People who argue relentlessly. Avoid the argumen, they are vexatious to the spirit
Baria Aria Where the music stops
Baria Aria Happy Hour solo
Baristocracy Aristocracy What lawyers think of themselves
Aristocrab Aristocrat A noble crustacean with hereditary rank
Baristocrat Aristocrat One who is too bougie to work at Starbucks
Aristocats Aristocrats Jazz royalty
Arithmetric Arithmetic Math used only in the International System of Units (SI)
Armatire Armature Rotate to studded tires or slap on the chains
Amatures Armatures Aspiring conductors
Barrears Arrears When your tab at the local pub is past due
Arrogaunt Arrogant Skinnier and therefore “better than you”
Arrogrant Arrogant Allocation of arrows to English bowmen at Agincourt by Henry V
Arrowpoot Arrowroot Involuntary flatulence immediately upon being shot with an arrow
Arthemis Artemis Used car lot, specializing in souped-up muscle cars
Farthritis Arthritis That moment you go rigid and immobile in public (and far from a bathroom) because you have to pass gas, but you’re not sure if it will end in an accident or not
Fartichoke Artichoke Gag reflex reaction to the flatulence of a vega
Farticles Articles The invisible yet smelly results of a person farting
Farticles Articles Those little “crumbs” you find in your bed
Articulame Articulate Verbal expression that is halting, stumbling or weak, having to do with insufficient knowledge, wit or intelligence
Barticulate Articulate Threat to the right of free speech
Barticulate Articulate Slurred speech
Farticulate Articulate Using your mouth to emulate sounds of flatulence
Fartifact Artifact If you fart, tinkle, cough, burp and sneeze all at the same time, you will die
Artifacial Artificial To have an excessive amount of face lifts
Artoficial Artificial A curator of fake paintings
Fartificial Artificial The character of unnatural flatulence
Fartiste Artiste Someone who passes gas with creativity and flair
Fartistic Artistic The ability to create flatulent melodies
Arugala Arugula A salad party
Assap Asap A jerk in a rush.
Assbestos Asbestos Great bum
Assended Ascended The way you might land on the floor after slipping off of your chair.
Washram Ashram Place where sheep bathe
Askinine Asinine A question that disproves "There are no stupid questions."
Askinine Asinine A stupid question
Assinine Asinine A backside that doesn’t quite rate a 10
Masinine Asinine Collective stupidity
Asskance Askance A sideways glance at someone’s “derrière”
Gaskew Askew Dire effects of tariffs
Assp Asp Venomous snake with a penchant for biting humans in their buttocks
Asparagas Asparagus Veggie that causes gastric problems.
Asparagum Asparagus A failed Wrigley's effort
Aspartome Aspartame Book for diabetics
Gaspersion Aspersion Current public assaults on one's reputation and integrity are truly astounding and disturbing.
Aspmalt Asphalt A snake shake
Asphynxiation Asphyxiation A wildcat gasping for air
Asspiration Aspiration The desire to have a buffed, better bottom
Asspiration Aspiration An idea that really BACKfires.
Gaspiration Aspiration A convulsive catching of breath when one of your dreams suddenly comes true
Aspirrational Aspirational The impossibility of having meaningful conversations with snakes
Aspyre Aspire A burning ambition
Gaspirin Aspirin Head and tummy tabs
Massails Assails Black Friday, the usual mega retail sales after Thanksgiving.
Assasstination Assassination A very noisy killing of a public figure
Passassination Assassination Turning down the opportunity to kill a public figure
Assalt Assault Basic seasoning for a rump roast
Massbackwards Assbackwards Going in a direction from which everyone else is leaving - applicable physically (eg driving opposite rush-hour traffic) as well as metaphorically.
Assegay Assegai Weapon for a nonviolent African. It is painted with peace symbols and decorated with ribbons and is blunt
Ussessment Assessment Evaluation of our group
Askhole Asshole A person who asks very annoying inappropriate questions.
Asshaole Asshole An obnoxious tourist in Hawaii
Basshole Asshole An especially unpleasant fish.
Gasshole Asshole Obnoxious, urban SUV driver with no credible justification for needing a truck
Passhole Asshole A driver who aggressively weaves in and out of traffic without signalling in an attempt to get ahead.
Massignation Assignation Orgy
Assignmeant Assignment What the job actually entails; not what HR told you
Gassimilate Assimilate Getting used to that high-fiber diet.
Assteroids Asteroids Hemorrhoids
Asstonishing Astonishing Beholding a perfect booty
Astunishing Astonishing Surprising to the point it causes unconsciousness
Astrakan Astrakhan Toilet on a Star ship
Astrongent Astringent A weightlifter
Astrobaby Astrobabe Captain Kirk had a sexy wife and a child living secretly on the Enterprise.
Astroblume Astrobleme Flowers in a crater
Astrolave Astrolabe Toilets at the Kennedy Space Centre
Castronaut Astronaut Cuban space man
Mastronaut Astronaut A sailor in a very, very high crow's nest
Astrocomical Astronomical An erroneous social media post which asserts that a 'supermoon' will appear to be five times larger than average.
Astrolomical Astronomical Extremely large or vast influence on one’s astrology
Pastronomical Astronomical Heading for infinity
Vastucious Astucious Knowledgeable on many subjects; broadly insightful
Gastute Astute Flatulence
Pastute Astute One who has lost the ability to understand and view matters logically.
Pastute Astute Loss of cognitive skills by aged.
Asylum Asylum Institution where inmates have trivial and vapid discussions with imaginary friends
Assymetrical Asymmetrical Perfectly shaped buttocks
Assymptomatic Asymptomatic Those that believe if they show no symptoms of Covid after vaccination that they cannot be carriers and thereafter ignore the standard safety precautions
Asympotes Asymptotes Adjacent sterilized donkeys
Mathabaskan Athabaskan Native Alaskan accountant
Atheift Atheist Someone who’s made off with other people’s gods but has none of their beliefs
Pathlete Athlete Hiker
Pathletic Athletic Horrible at sports
Atmosphire Atmosphere A fire whose purpose is not to heat but to provide ambience
Atmospthere Atmosphere Not this planet's gaseous envelope but that one's
Astrocious Atrocious A really terrible science fiction movie
Eatrocity Atrocity A violently gluttonous act
Astrophy Atrophy Loss of muscle mass due to preoccupation with stargazing
Atrophyding Atrophying Happened when my Oscar fell off the shelf!
Attension Attention Stress caused by excessive concentration
Fattenuate Attenuate Profitable weight loss industry with varied solutions costing billions with limited sustained success.
Attequator Attenuator A big knob that reduces circumferential amplitude
Battic Attic Something that's dyed in the loft
Fattire Attire What you wear when bloated
Gattired Attired Armed and Ready!!
Attictude Attitude Pride in one's under-roof storage
Attidude Attitude A self-aggrandising guy
Attiturde Attitude The spiteful disposition of someone that needs to defecate in a hurry.
Cattitude Attitude The look of utter contempt that a feline gives you when you say "here kitty, kitty, kitty"
Attourneys Attorneys Where the Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students compete.
Ubergine Aubergine Cinderella's ride to the ball in a purple pumpkin
Auktion Auction Bargain birds
Audiborium Auditorium A gathering place where every event is dull.
Lauditorium Auditorium Gathering place where seldom is heard a disparaging word
Naura Aura A flippin' halo
Caural Aural Something that looks like a reef and sounds like a choir
Yauric Auric A penniless, well-remembered, Shakespearean fool with a jest of gold
Australopithecuss Australopithecus Obscenities found in an ancient cave outside Sydney
Mauthentic Authentic Sobriquet for mother of an adopted child
Abthoritative Authoritative King of the "six-pack"
Autocrapy Autocracy A country run by a despot – very badly
Autocrazy Autocracy Far right's dementia
Hautodidact Autodidact A self taught fashionista
Autoimpune Autoimmune Saying nasty things about someone’s car
Automagically Automatically Something that magically happens or appears without planning or effort “The clean laundry automagically appears in my drawer”
Autobaton Automaton A robotic conductor or twirler
Automatron Automaton A mother just going through the motions
Atomobile Automobile The future of alternatively-fueled vehicles
Atomobile Automobile Transportation around molecules and compounds
Automoobile Automobile The vehicle that drives the cows to the stockyards.
Automnomous Autonomous When an actor, like Mr. Cruise, does his own stunts
Autonamous Autonomous Named after oneself
Bautumn Autumn A Puckish creation with the head of a donkey and a tail that has seen too many summers
Autumnag Autumnal The spouse reminding one of all the summer chores yet to be done
Avalunche Avalanche The threat of being engulf by mountains of food at special occasions.
Avalunche Avalanche Buffet meal on a cruise ship
Avalunche Avalanche A mid day meal in Italy
Avialanche Avalanche A sudden and overwhelming swarm of birds
Avaste Avast Hindu sailors' greeting
Avatart Avatar Disreputable female avatar
Avenude Avenue An on-street streaker, or a boulevard without street trees
Caviary Aviary Little birds, little birds, all in a roe
Havocation Avocation Strong desire to cause great destruction or chaos.
Ovoidance Avoidance Taking eggs out of your diet.
Avoidupois Avoirdupois Staying away from weighty issues
Savoirdupois Avoirdupois Knowing you’re overweight without needing to get on the scales
Avowel Avowal The antithesis of inconsonant
Apuncular Avuncular Being clever, humorous and inventive.
Aword Award Top 10 Finalist
Aword Award Tangible symbolic prize for brevity
Awaremess Awareness A term applied to people, particularly children, who have no clue what’s going on in their own lives much less the world.
Pawesome Awesome Wondrous effect on us humans by our furry beloved children.
Owesomeness Awesomeness That feeling of having a really nice car and a big car loan
Aweful Awful Something truly terrible that inspires you with dread, fear and wonder.
Awkwarp Awkward A clumsy twist
Awkword Awkward WPMI entrants that don't make the cut
Awkword Awkward Hard to pronounce
Axiomanic Axiomatic Alternate truths and reality that some accept without question or dissent.
Ayatollyah Ayatollah You should have listened to me!
Barbling Babbling A tiny thorn
Blabbling Babbling To reveal what one believes to be a secret, conspiratorial matter while actually spouting incoherent nonsense.
Babyloin Babylon A city-state of ancient Mesopotamia that was renown for its hanging gardens and as a trading center for fine cuts of meat
Backarat Baccarat A gang member standing up for a buddy who is a police informer
Bachanalia Bacchanalia The festival that celebrates the fecundity of J.S. Bach who produced 1128 pieces of music and 20 children
Cacchanalia Bacchanalia Several revelers at the drunken orgy got polluted in a whole new way when an overfilled portable toilet exploded.
Bich Bach Too hot to Handel
Lackache Backache Nostalgia
Backbong Backbone [1] Hookah for hiking; [2] a resonant spine
Blackground Background Checking a criminal's résumé.
Brackwoods Backwoods Isolated swampland
Acteria Bacteria Thespian wannabes
Obade Bade Utterly fulfilled
Wafflegab Bafflegab Attempting to talk with your mouth full of breakfast cakes
Bigasse Bagasse The pulpy mass of material left over after the digestive system crushes and extracts excessive amounts of sugar from sweetened food products.
Baggauge Baggage A receptacle no larger than an aircraft’s overhead locker
Bugpipe Bagpipe Doodlesack with a defective chanter
Ebail Bail Way to cancel an unwanted social appointment without that messy phone call
Bailbout Bailout Fighting over who will post bond
Failout Bailout Government handouts to all companies but yours
Bralance Balance When both are the same size
Baldercash Balderdash The ridiculous money spent on unsuccessful hair regimens
Balkonisation Balkanisation Building verandas in Serbia
Blalking Balking Someone who walks with eyes glued to the smartphone, often blocking pedestrian traffic and blocking out the environment
Ballistick Ballistic (In baseball) when the bat flies with the ball
Baliroom Ballroom A place to stay in Indonesia
Balooney Baloney A person who is crazy about baloney sandwiches
Ballstrade Balustrade A very delicate surgical procedure involving a human male and a male of any other species
Bamboozlex Bamboozle Definitions on WPM Invitational
Bamboozed Bamboozled An inebriated panda
Bananer Banana Tropical fruit native to Long Island
Bananr Banana A banana that stands out in a brunch
Randicoot Bandicoot A small Australian Marsupial that has been put on a steady diet of Spanish Fly
Brangers Bangers [1] Mercenaries for the Texas mounted police;
[2] bearers of gifts in the American deep south
Bangladyesh Bangladesh Auntie India
Bankister Banister Brass railing separating you and the teller (these days, it's a sheet of plexiglass)
Banjoy Banjo What banjos (and bagpipes and accordions) do
Batjoists Banjoists The rafters from which flying black beasties hang.
Bangk Bank A crash dispenser
Bangrupt Bankrupt Out of ammunition
Tankruptcy Bankruptcy Total financial demise !!!!
Hanquettes Banquettes Tiny nautical fasteners
Banshe Banshee No women allowed
Banshhee Banshee A silent ghost
Fantamweight Bantamweight Boxers or wrestlers weighing up to zero pounds
Bankzai Banzai The battle cry of tellers
Barberian Barbarian A savage hairdresser
Barberian Barbarian Army haircuts
Barberian Barbarian The guy savages go to see when they want to get a haircut.
Babaric Barbaric When the dapper young elephant king goes on a rampage
Barbiecue Barbecue When a cannibal "has" a tall, buxom blonde woman for dinner.
Carbecue Barbecue Torching a mate’s car for an insurance scam
Barbelle Barbell A debutante with her first cocktail
Barbeqnue Barbeque A Viking Funeral
Barebeque Barbeque Cookout at a nudist camp
Barbership Barbershop Haircuts at sea
Barbitudate Barbiturate Your sleazy girlfriend is a nightly guzzler at the local tavern.
Barbituates Barbiturates Any loose bar bits you ate
Barmode Barcode Headed to happy hour
Beargain Bargain A fantastic discount on honey or salmon
Baristar Barista Expert espresso puller
Jaritone Baritone Male voice part of one who can't carry a tune in a container
Barfitones Baritones Singers with stomach issues
Barlea Barley The field behind the tavern
Barmyid Barmaid Silly psyche
Bardstormer Barnstormer [1] Stunt troubadour; [2] campaigning minstrel
Yarnstormer Barnstormer A stunt pilot who travels around the country dropping skeins of wool from his plane
Biron Baron A handy writer for a man of letters
Baroquen Baroque Damaged 17th century antiques
Barnacuda Barracuda Bony fish in a farm building
Barracuta Barracuda The wiley bartender at Hooters
Bayrier Barrier A seawall
Barkisters Barristers Canine lawyers
Barfstool Barstool The one no one sits in since "the incident"
Barrtender Bartender The mixologist on a pirate ship
Bartern Barter The gull that pours your drinks
Waryton Baryton Care taken when performing on a small 6-stringed 'cello
Blaseball Baseball 39000 Texans who could not care less about contracting a serious disease so long as they can watch a baseball game and drink beer in public
Bashment Basement Hazing
Basketbalm Basketball Ointment in woven containers
Casketball Basketball In the gym on one side of the huge Corpse Display area at the Better Off Dead funeral home, the mourners and the embalmers were competing for the CB trophy. (The mourners won.)
Basketleaving Basketweaving How foundlings used to make it to the doorways of churches etc.
Assoon Bassoon A short-lived bass instrument of the woodwind family that never sounded any better than gassy
Batsavians Batavians Members of the Dutch chiroptera preservation society
Mathmophobia Bathmophobia Fear of Mathematics. Why do gals fear that subject when infact they often excel in that study?
Batholithe Batholith Dexterity required for very narrow shower or tub
Bathroam Bathroom Wandering aimlessly in search of a toilet
Bathsphere Bathysphere A globe shaped tablet of soap on a rope
Butteries Batteries Anatomical cells retaining the energy to get you up and off your ass. Unfortunately, most people cannot find out where they left them.
Blattle Battle Engaging an adversary by crying plaintively
Rattlefield Battlefield A meadow infested with highly poisonous smakes
Bavariants Bavarians Franconia, Altbayern and Swabia
Bayour Bayou Not my swamp
Bajaar Bazaar A container market
Qbe Be All the ways in which Picasso sees a square c.f. Qbism
Beachbalm Beachball Sunscreen
Meagle Beagle Skinny dog
Beatitdude Beatitude A stoner's version of the Michael Jackson song
Keauties Beauties Very attractive women with their hair in pigtails and butterfly clips
Beebop Bebop Nature's music that bees dance to outside their hive door
Becamel Bechamel A camel who is trained by a French chef
Bredhead Bedhead The red haired offspring of two red haired parents
Beadlam Bedlam When one spills all her tiny necklace spheres or breaks a necklace causing said spheres to scatter
Bedlame Bedlam Result of frequent conjugal activity
Wedlam Bedlam A scene or state of wild uproar or confusion while planning a wedding.
Badroom Bedroom A place for naughtiness. Ooh, yes please matron!
Bleef Beef Bovine provenance
Beefhive Beehive A cozy home for honey cattle
Abeeline Beeline The town that couldn't shoot straight
Beelzebulb Beelzebub One of those awful corkscrew fluorescent replacement “CFL” lamps that flickers and blinks like the devil
Beerd Beer The result of sloppy chin and/or lip control during the consumption of one or more too many brews
Beathoven Beethoven Mozart
Beetcoven Beethoven Ludwig’s female detractors
Beefriend Befriend Verb..to form a bond with someone you are barbecuing steak with
Vegone Begone Back to eating meat!
Leguile Beguile Attorneys who deceive us all by their lack of principles but lust for power/wealth.
Beehave Behave The command for humans to reverse the dwindling population of pollinating insects
Beheavior Behavior Actions following a fifth of scotch
Behemouth Behemoth One's "Big Mouth" always leads to trouble
Behemouth Behemoth Too much botox.
Behemouth Behemoth Massive gob ( apologies for slang ) or yawning orifice in head
Meholden Beholden Eternally grateful for my grandparents' brave decisions to journey from eastern Europe late 19th century to the USA
Beehoove Behoove When ungulate mammals step on a colony of bees
Heleaguer Beleaguer One who literally brings "hell" to another through harassment and other mayhem.
Belliclose Bellicose Getting very close to your partner while dancing
Ballwether Bellwether Definition of redundancy
Bellweather Bellwether When its ringing cats and dogs
Hellwether Bellwether Dire effects of climate change.
Bellyacre Bellyache Having an obvious weight problem
Bullyache Bellyache Sick of constant harassment
Begonging Belonging Striking a resonant metal plate
Beanefit Benefit The melodious quality of the “musical fruit.
Beneviolence Benevolence Mercy killing
Beneviolent Benevolent Marked by the tendency to be both kindly and injurious to others
Bienevolent Benevolent A kind French welcome
Tenevolent Benevolent One who scores a 10 in kindness, goodness and generosity.
Beknighted Benighted Ignorant nobleman
Bereevement Bereavement Born to be the leader of a small town council
Berefd Bereft Sorry team the game has been cancelled as all the umpires have tested positive for Covid
Mesotted Besotted Current intense malady of self absorption.
Beespeak Bespeak Discussion about how to make honey
Bestpoke Bespoke CuStomized jab
Mespoke Bespoke Each of us is uniquely special and "custom made."
Brestseller Bestseller The latest sensational book by Jackie Collins
Befrothed Betrothed Reaction to a broken engagement
Beverrage Beverage Drunken rage
Beewildered Bewildered A confused insect.
Bemilderment Bewilderment A predictable result of castration
Bwitch Bewitch An evil, nasty woman.
Bibliagony Bibliogony Extremely tough to promote "Tell All" books in today’s divided atmosphere
Biclameral Bicameral Having, consisting of, or based on two distinct types of shellfish
Hicentennial Bicentennial Senior looking forward to celebrating 100th birthday !!
Bitchrome Bichrome Tough place to conquer: Julius Caesar
Picoastal Bicoastal The ratio of the earth’s circumference to the distance from LA to NYC
Ficuspid Bicuspid Toothy shrubbery
Bicicle Bicycle Ice that goes both ways
Licycle Bicycle How parasites travel from scalp to scalp, when there are no seats left on the hairplanes
Picycle Bicycle A vehicle composed of 3.14159265359 wheels.
Bivocal Bifocal One who talks out of both sides of their mouth
Bifecals Bifocals Defective lenses, since recalled, that gave users a shitty outlook on life.
Lifurcate Bifurcate Pathological liars divide their falsehoods into 2 groups: Originals and secondly others to amplify the originals.
Rigwig Bigwig A trick toupee
Biliteral Bilateral Having two clear, distinct meanings
Fillabong Billabong Hydroponic marijuana
Killboard Billboard Trap door on a gallows
Billionoire Billionaire Someone who made this fortune on the black market
Bullionaire Billionaire A really wealthy man, with a basement full of soup flavor cubes.
Bullionaire Billionaire A rich man who made it all by buying and selling gold
Binaryr Binary 1r the 0ther
Biodada Biodata Paternity test
Bipoler Bipolar One who walks using two ski poles
Birthdam Birthday A constricted cervix
Birthpay Birthday Natal tab
Girthday Birthday Decision to begin diet on one's date of birth.
Girthright Birthright Survival of the fattest
Girthstone Birthstone Obesity struggle!
Bisquit Biscuit When you quit your job during a breakfast meeting.
Biscults Biscuits Fanatical followers of carb-only diets
Brisque Bisque A creamy soup made in a fast food restaurant
Batcoin Bitcoin Currency in use by certain denizens of Gotham City
Titcoin Bitcoin Virtual money that can only be spent on porn sites
Bivouached Bivouacked Not used to sleeping in a tent
Bazarre Bizarre N. open-air market selling strange & wonderful items usually found only in “ripley’s believe it or not” or any edgar allan poe short story.
Lackberry Blackberry I forgot my damned phone again.
Blocksmith Blacksmith A toymaker
Blandmange Blancmange Hospital meals
Blander Blander Blonder than blonde. Some men find this very attractive, hence blanderlust.
Blanddishment Blandishment A threat to cook a tasteless meal
Blandishmint Blandishment Candy for good behavior
Plandishment Blandishment Scheduled time to flatter somene you dislike
Slandishments Blandishments Which is the lesser of the two evils? Cajolery, enticement, blarney OR False slanderous damaging statements about one’s reputation.
Blinket Blanket A bed-cover that allows you to get 40 winks in half the time, quilt-free.
Blareney Blarney Loud Irish hyperbole
Blastheme Blaspheme Sugarnuggets -
A new category for words that can be used to supplant swear-words
Blastphemy Blasphemy Loud music in public places
Belatant Blatant Purposefully being late to something
Blataunt Blatant No attempt whatsoever to couch mockery in compliments, humor, or sarcasm
Blatent Blatant Dormant, obviously
Batantly Blatantly We ALL know it's Bruce Wayne
Bleachead Bleached Platinum blonde
Blang Bling Gold-plated 9mm automatic
Blinge Bling The act of buying a large amount of flashy things.
Blyss Bliss That warm fuzzy feeling you get when perfect strangers like your online post or comment
Flockage Blockage Birds, geese, butterflies each assembling by group to journey South.
Blondcurdling Bloodcurdling Cheap hair dye
Bloodsnot Bloodshot Result of a ruptured nasal vessel
Blogviate Bloviate To go hyper on one's own blog.
Broviate Bloviate Male sibling commenting on matters with no prior knowledge or information
Bloviatinge Bloviating On the verge of a pompous diatribe
Blowted Blowed Over-inflated
Bluem Blue The new American Blue - an algal green field with flecks of flakes of blue. It does not reflect well for those responsible.
Blubberry Blueberry [1] The juiciest little fruit in the bowl;
[2] cross between a whale and a pitless fruit
[3] a sobbing currant, grape, etc.
Blonder Blunder A mistake only a blonde could make
Blunderbust Blunderbuss A poorly constructed bra
Bluestery Blustery Sad and talking too much about it
Hoardwalk Boardwalk The careful mincing through one's collection-crowded home
Poasting Boasting Bragging, boasting or tooting our own horn on social networks
Boatspain Boatswain Monthly payment on a large boat loan.
Bobtats Bobcats Robert's body art
Bonysuit Bodysuit A skeleton costume
Brohemian Bohemian Artistic meathead
Boasterous Boisterous Loudly bragging about your own accomplishments
Hoisterous Boisterous Rowdy in that specific, tipsy, pint-lifting way that turns a simple drink into a lively celebration.
Bonas Bolas Extra pay granted to an Argentinian Gaucho for his skill with his lasso
Boleo Bole A disease that withers the trunk but not the limbs
Bolshevicks Bolsheviks Cold remedy used by Russian revolutionaries
Bumbard Bombard Imagining Shakespeare as a street vagrant.
Mombard Bombard When a mother calls her adult children too often
Bombashtic Bombastic Pompous buffoonery
Bombasic Bombastic A beginner's guide to explosives.
Bombaspic Bombastic A jellied hand grenade
Bombattic Bombastic Where shady fictional spies are traditionally working
Bomberm Bomber Earthen missile defense
Pondage Bondage Determined to be larger than a puddle but smaller than a stock tank
Bonfile Bonfire A bonfile is setting ablaze a large collection of papers from a file cabinet
Bondhomie Bonhomie Stuck like glue on displaying good cheer.
Bonuts Bonus Being paid peanuts - and then some
Boogler Booger A dessicated mucousician who can play the trumpet through his nose.
Bookwort Bookworm The stickem that remains on the back cover when you try to remove the price tag
Zoomerang Boomerang To suddenly leave a webinar and then shortly return
Boonducks Boondocks Winged waterfowl indigenous to the backwoods
Moondocks Boondocks A deserted area where rockets will assemble on the moon once colonisation begins
Boondongle Boondoggle Wasteful, impractical connections
Goondoggle Boondoggle Wasteful, illegal,immoral public project managed by incompetent unscrupulous morons.
Moondoggle Boondoggle Is another trip to the moon a worthwhile project?
Mootcamp Bootcamp Training that is irrelevant by the time it’s finished
Bardello Bordello Where poets go to be "inspired" by a muse…or two
Borealy Boreal Bo Diddley’s given name.
Boredorm Boredom College housing for students with no personality
Boaring Boring Hunting wild male pigs is anything but!
Bosin Bosun What the boatswain did when his Captain’s eyes were averted.
Boath Both Solemn promise made by two people
Bothox Botox A double-yoker
Botulisp Botulism Result of a bad botox injection
Hotulism Botulism Getting paralyzed when seeing a very attractive person
Foulevards Boulevards A strip of land between offensive and defensive teams where a player can receive 5-yard penalty for encroaching
Bootique Boutique Shop that specializes in ladies’ footwear
Boutiquet Boutique A whiff of luxury
Lowtie Bowtie A belt
Boxcarbs Boxcars Breakfast cereal
Soycott Boycott Decision not to purchase nor eat any of these legume veggies.
Toycott Boycott An ungrateful child rejects and smashes some of his Christmas presents.
Draggadocio Braggadocio Vainglorious cross-dressing
Branstorm Brainstorm A bad post-breakfast experience in the restroom
Brainwasp Brainwash The annoying buzz in one's head
Brandey Brandy (n) The cow that is in the process of being branded.
Blassiere Brassiere Fireproof undergarments for female firefighters
Bratworst Bratwurst And you thought your kids were rotten !
Bravu Bravo Looking down a woman’s cleavage
Brayzen Brazen An excessively impudent ass
Broak Break A person who judge’s another person’s breakdancing abilities, despite having no breaking experience
Beakfast Breakfast Bird's first meal of the day
Breakfist Breakfast The early morning grasp for food on your way out the door
Wreakfast Breakfast Instant havoc
Beakneck Breakneck A rare San Francisco bird last seen in the ’50’s
Brieze Breeze A gentle current of air with a distinct aroma of French cheese.
Bravity Brevity A counterforce to Nature, ensuring that what’s gone down appears to stay up
Bravity Brevity Quick adrenaline rush of fearlessness
Browery Brewery Manufacturer of paste-on body hair
Bridgegroom Bridegroom Marrying your card playing partner
Bridesmad Bridesmaid Sorry dear not tonight I have a headache
Gridge Bridge Animosity at the card table
Brigadeer Brigadier Confining Bambi for heinous crimes
Frigadier Brigadier A superlative icebox
Trilliant Brilliant A flautist with a twitchy finger
Blinkmanship Brinkmanship A form of negotiating where each party stares at the other until one gives in
Broodingnagian Brobdingnagian An agonizingly insufferable shrew
Baroccoli Broccoli A vegetable preferred by the President.
Bromites Bromides Tiny organisms that tend to inhabit your best buddy
Broncot Bronco A little bed for bucking in
Brontesaurus Brontosaurus Giant writer of a bygone Eyre-a
Brother-In-Lawn Brother-In-Law When you're related by marriage to your groundskeeper
Brouhaham Brouhaha Fighting over the Honey Baked
Trouhaha Brouhaha Intense amusement about incredulous absurd malfeasance abounding.
Bruischetta Bruschetta When the tomatoes are banged up but you top your toast with them anyway
Brushetta Bruschetta What to do when Etta's hair is untidy
Buxism Bruxism Painful rubbing caused by failure to wear a bra
Baubbly Bubbly Bling Perignon
Buckal Buccal Parting comments to former co-workers after being fired.
Buccanear Buccaneer Corn on the cob gets hit by tariffs.
Fucolic Bucolic Bravo breast feeding!
Sucolic Bucolic Intense sick desire to litigate at all costs.
Fudget Budget A budget that is hastily prepared and is based on incomplete information and guesstimates.
Buffalow Buffalo Laid-back bison (I know they're different species, call it artistic license)
Dufferin Bufferin An analgesic for bad golfers
Bluffoon Buffoon Someone with a really really really bad poker face.
Bhug Bug A big hug combined into one word
Buildung Building A barn on the farm where manure is stored
Bulbus Bulbous Spherically-shaped public transport
Balkhead Bulkhead An indecisive leader
Bulletiny Bulletin A 2mm Kolibri
Balletproof Bulletproof Would not go near Swan Lake if you paid me.
Mulletproof Bulletproof Bald
Bumlion Bullion A great cat with a limp
Bullship Bullshit The hype cruise companies tell you about their cruise
Billying Bullying To invoice someone so much , groups of people rally around them by wearing pink shirts
Bumblebeep Bumblebee Fumbling around trying to find the horn on your steering wheel
Bumner Bummer Failure to fit into tight new jeans
Bumtious Bumptious (adj) – Overtly proud of one’s ass
Wunch Bunch Collective noun for bankers
Bunghoe Bunghole Cork remover
Buofancy Buoyancy Floating with panache
Boyant Buoyant A young male insect
Bupkiss Bupkis A meaningless kiss, such as often seen between people in show business
Barble Burble The flow of speech in proportion to the flow of alcohol
Burreau Bureau A pretentious donkey
Bureaucrazy Bureaucracy A system of voicemails, referrals, delays, denials and transfers for the purpose of allowing an individual the time, while waiting, to assess one's mental stability.
Bureaucrazy Bureaucracy Piles of papers gone nuts
Bureaucrap Bureaucrat Any mindless fed or state employee who has made your like crappy for no good or even apparent reason.
Bureauprat Bureaucrat You’ll know, as soon as you are dealing with one
Bureaurats Bureaucrats [1] Rodents in a drawer; [2] government employees
Bunglar Burglar An inept thief
Burgarized Burglarized During a pandemic to have fast food delivered to your home
Bumsting Bursting When the wasp got you in the cheek
Mushwhack Bushwhack Food fight with mashed potatoes and oatmeal
Busimessmen Businessmen Businessmen who mess up their own business.
Duskers Buskers Street entertainers enjoying the period prior to day end.
Bustline Bustling The checkout mob at a Victoria's Secret bra clearance sale
Bustybody Busybody Voluptuous
Bitcher Butcher Butcher who really doesn't like his job
Muttcrack Buttcrack When puppers can no longer stand the snack on his nose and consumes it before your signal
Bitterfly Butterfly An annoying insect with a vendetta
Buttrass Buttress A huge read-end, supporting an oversized woman; also known as a back porch
Buttrest Buttress A chair
Buttesses Buttresses Nanny goats
Bluzzard Buzzard A bird of prey that is well adapted for flying in very high winds
Buzzarf Buzzard Canine vocalization when you are not welcome in his yard
Bygong Bygone A tam-tam's exit
Buyronic Byronic When the purchase turns out different from what you expected and its kinda funny in retrospect. "I bought this Apple Watch to be more efficient with my time but I wound up wasting time playing games on it"
Cabage Cabbage The amount of time a taxi has been in circulation.
Crabbie Cabbie Uber driver after Taccident
Cadriver Cabdriver An oblivious motorist that is clearly dead to the world
Camoose Caboose A hunchback moose
Capriolet Cabriolet Cry sent up by a Spaniard seeing a beautiful Island off the Italian West coast for the first time
Cacaphony Cacophony A fecal action with a fake rationale.
Cacophuny Cacophony Amusing noise
Catcophony Cacophony Jarring meows.
Cawcophony Cacophony Crowing Pains
Cadiver Cadaver The corpse of the victim of a snorkeling or scuba accident
Cadillack Cadillac Arriving at the posh golf course on your bicycle and finding no one will carry your clubs for you.
Calfe Cafe Small, usually casual restaurant that specializes in veal
Majoled Cajoled Mom’s gentle persuasion
Galamari Calamari A festive squid
Calamitious Calamitous Causing just a pinch more vicious damage to property
Calmity Calamity Total disaster and not even a ripple.
Calmity Calamity Serenly moving towards total disaster
Clamity Calamity The great mollusk disaster
Palamity Calamity Attitude towards one's BFF
Calcufication Calcification What happens to the brain during a calculus final.
Caltulate Calculate To figure out the math after it no longer makes any difference
Calculust Calculus Mathematical system to measure intense desire
Calendark Calendar Nights of the week
Calendarn Calendar An epithet uttered th' day after submissions to th' WPN International New Word Contest were due
Caligarians Calgarians Residents of Alberta who have delusions of becoming a Roman Emperor
Caliberate Calibrate Telling the cop that his speed gun reads too high
Palibrate Calibrate To gauge a friendship
Caristhenics Calisthenics Stretching exercises done by a passenger during a long drive to keep from crampling up
Galisthentics Calisthenics Exercise for women only
Callipigian Callipygian Pig’s shapely buttocks. Inspiration for Paul Simon lyrics in You Are The One “big and fat pigs supposed to look like that"
Callipydgian Callipygian Sexy strutter on the plaza
Callipigous Callipygous A pig with a really cute derrière.
Calumni Calumny People who lie about having been graduated by University of California – Berkeley
Columny Calumny Libelous editorial.
Calapso Calypso Limbo fail
Calcone Calzone Pizza conically wrapped
Cameraderie Camaraderie Group photo
Scamaraderie Camaraderie The parasocial relationship one has with an Instagram influencer
Cambrick Cambric Extra-heavy cotton cloth
Camellot Camelot Where Bedouins upgrade their desert transportation
Camellot Camelot Where to park your camel
Cameolot Camelot A troupe of seasoned actors with minor roles
Cameow Cameo Garfields only scene
Cramisole Camisole Sized just right for the overly-endowed
Camourflage Camouflage Hidden love
Camopers Campers Bored kids in a tent
Campround Campground Tents in a circle
Scanard Canard Carefully check out the volume of lies and alternate facts abounding today
Chancellation Cancellation When the choir sings at the altar
Cancelabra Candelabra Removing ones underwear in protest
Candlabra Candelabra A device used to lift and separate two candles
Candiddate Candidate A romantic first date with a “truth-only” rule
Candimate Candidate Someone you met on Match.com
Candydate Candidate First ploy of a groomer
Scandles Candles Making light of wickedness
Candlestink Candlestick The problem with bad wax
Candlestuck Candlestick Wouldn’t be the first emerg OR x-ray passed around among snickering staff
Cannabism Cannabis The act of eating marijuana
Cannielloni Cannelloni Pasta tubes stuffed with a decorative metal alloy and baked in sauce; neither tasty nor functional, and a complete waste of all ingredients
Canniball Cannibal A sport in which the winners eat the losers.
Cannybals Cannibals Scots who feast on Clan Chowder
Capoodle Canoodle Puppy petting; cur cuddling; hound hugging
Clan-Opener Can-Opener Claymore
Manorous Canorous Male singers in a predominantly female choir
Cantalope Cantaloupe Sadly neither of the lovers has a ladder.
Cantankerus Cantankerous Sorry Captain the water is too deep
Canthankerous Cantankerous Those beings with no manners whatsoever.
Canttankerous Cantankerous The inability to deal for one more second with irritating, crochety people, especially bosses, distant relatives, and facebook friends.
Mantankerous Cantankerous Describing a guy with a beer belly
Cantatta Cantata Never can say goodbye.
Cantickle Canticle One's ability to stimulate
Cantilover Cantilever Despondent impotent suitor
Scantilever Cantilever A Juliet balcony
Scantilever Cantilever An underwired half-bra
Cantine Cantina A dog's diner
Cabacious Capacious Taxi which holds eight people
Carpacious Capacious Large koi pond
Apacity Capacity Primate ability
Crapacity Capacity Upper limit to the amount of BS you can tolerate
Acapillaries Capillaries Singing too much and making your blood vessels rupture
Capillardy Capillary Porcine blood supplier
Crapitalism Capitalism Dealing in sewage transport, processing, and disposal for profit
Crapitalism Capitalism Crony capitalism characterized by politicians and businessmen shmoozing and wheeling and dealing.
Rapitalist Capitalist One who's made lots of money by intoning profane patter to an incessant beat
Catpitulate Capitulate To give in and let the cat have its way
Chapitulate Capitulate May civil "gentlemanly" negotiations restore and settle differences peacefully.
Clapitulate Capitulate Voluntarily (temporarily?) forego the pleasures of the flesh
Cupitulation Capitulation Giving up on how to put on an athletic supporter for the first time
Capstore Capstone Millinery
Crapsule Capsule A turd
Craptain Captain Sh - - - y leader
Claptivate Captivate To capture another’s attention by applauding
Craptivity Captivity Being enslaved by one’s possessions
Copture Capture When a fugitive is caught by the police
Caplet Capulet During the long running feud between the Montagues and the Capulets it was standard practice for the losing side to take a pocketful of nerve pills into battle
Nar Car A lecture that's twice as long as a seminar.
Caravat Caravan Several fermentation or mixing tanks in a row
Barbohydrates Carbohydrates Thorny starches
Cargohydrates Carbohydrates A shipload of organic compounds
Carbinating Carbonating Retreating to one’s automobile for warmth and shelter
Carbination Carbonation A country hostile to well-armed Vikings and suitably equipped to deal with them.
Barbuncle Carbuncle The wittiest of your parent's male siblings
Carbuckle Carbuncle Seat belt
Bardiologist Cardiologist Physician with super literary talent.
Cordiologist Cardiologist The doctor who separates a mother from her newborn baby
Cardiomascular Cardiovascular Relating to men’s heart health
Carfree Carefree A feeling of delight when not using an automobile.
Scaress Caress What Dracula does to his female victims before biting them
Carobbean Caribbean An algarroba seed pod
Barnet Carnet Cross-border transport document for farm animals
Barnival Carnival A swing in the rafters...and maybe a pony
Carnaval Carnival A four-wheeled, land based vehicle masquerading as a boat
Carivore Carnivore Metal and trash compactors at junk yards, specifically the one from The Brave Little Toaster.
Carnifore Carnivore One who golfs poorly with meatballs
Barnivorous Carnivorous Only eats pub food
Cardnivorous Carnivorous How to describe an ATM when it eats your credit card
Carousal Carousel The erotic frisson experienced whilst waiting for the baggage conveyor to start at Airport Arrivals. Will it deliver the goods?
Curparks Carparks Leash hooks
Carventer Carpenter One who builds stick construction buildings using only a pocket knife
Harpentry Carpentry Cue for the harpist
Carpit Carpet Place where you bury cars
Carpetbanger Carpetbagger Sex on the living room floor
Carryon Carrion The amount of luggage that a crow can carry on a commercial aircraft
Cartilag Cartilage When the pony goes faster than the wagon
Fartographer Cartographer The technician who maps out the results of your colonoscopy exam
Cartooon Cartoon A sketchy TetraPak
Cartouch Cartouche An auto detailer's task
Lashmere Cashmere Soft, luxurious eyelid fringe
Cashino Casino Gambling establishment
Gasino Casino A service station with slot machines
Casperole Casserole Ghostly hot dish
Casserold Casserole Leftover one-dish meal
Castgate Castigate Back entrance to the theatre
Castogate Castigate Practicing fishing technique within the limits of your yard
Castipation Castigation The result when the voice actors in a mouse cartoon all eat a pound of cheese to help them get into character.
Castleg Castle The broken limb, after plaster
Catration Castration Neutering your feline
Fastration Castration Removal of a turbo charger
Gastration Castration Intestinectomy
Cashtrato Castrato Bankrupt
Castratoe Castrato He’ll have some difficulty taking the high road
Catacomabs Catacombs Burial in Washington state
Scatalog Catalog Shit list
Scatalogue Catalogue A listing of species' faeces
Scatalogue Catalogue A list of songs and keys in a jazz singer's repertoire
Catalist Catalyst How ranchers track their livestock.
Catalpyst Catalyst Beside themselves bovines
Catalysm Catalyst Doctrinal impetus
Chatamaran Catamaran A party of four engaging in two conversations
Cadamount Catamount Payment to a gigolo
Cantapult Catapult Failure to launch. Shoot blanks. A squib load.
[2] No need for a condom.
Catarac Cataract An expensive car in Japan.
Catarack Cataract Multi level canvas hammocks in seafaring vessels for cats. Feline crew is responsible for catching mice.
Catarect Cataract Feline viagra
Dataract Cataract Information procedure
Scataract Cataract Jazz singing to comfort eye surgery patients
Cat'astrophe Catastrophe Putting the comma in the wrong place when referring to more than one cat
Catastrophy Catastrophe Award given to the most destructive cat
Scatastrophe Catastrophe A total sh*tstorm
Catalaconic Catatonic Too laid back to be bothered with one-letter changes, and the moderator who permits it
Catasonic Catatonic Silent sound
Gatatonic Catatonic Horrific medical results of our rampant gun violence
Scatburglar Catburglar A Jazz singer who robs houses.
Cateschism Catechism A split in the Christian church involving its most basic precepts
Cafegorize Categorize Analysis of simple fare eateries
Chategorize Categorize One chooses to avoid discussions on certain topics because of other's politics, social views and beliefs.
Caterapillar Caterpillar Larval banquet service
Cadfishing Catfishing The actions of a base scoundrel who tries by alias and subterfuge to entice young women to go noodling with him. (noodling- to catch catfish with one’s bare hands)
Cathargic Cathartic That therapeutic feeling one gets when one doesn’t feel like doing anything
Catheater Catheter A movie house for felines in which mouse cartoons get them all hot and bothered.
Matheter Catheter A drain to rid the mind of high-school trig and calc classes
Chatnap Catnap Lapse in conversation
Catsnip Catnip Kitty get spayed
Scatnip Catnip That which Ella Fitzgerald takes before a performance
Pattails Cattails What can get a guy slapped
Cattiwampus Cattywampus The opposite of Doggiwampus
Cattycampus Cattywampus The location at a college where people can meet and exchange snide remarks.
Cattywampum Cattywampus Money caried in a golf bag to be used at the end of a round of golf to tip the caddy
Catcus Caucus Rude,nasty feline
Caucuss Caucus A meeting to choose the damn candidates
Bauldron Cauldron Road race restricted to anyone with no hair
Cauldrone Cauldron A potion pot that stirs itself
Califlower Cauliflower The golden poppy
Caustick Caustic Lyme Disease culprit.
Caustick Caustic The scientific reason that things stick together
Craustic Caustic Angry blood sucker foiled by "Deet" products.
Faustic Caustic A small mold mistaken for a tick
Laustic Caustic Cannot locate minisculebiting monster to identify
Cautherize Cauterize Giving the OK to the surgeon to ram electric wires up your nose
Cavaliar Cavalier Displays no interest nor concern in the absolute truth.
Caférn Cavern A coffee-shop in a subterranean vault
Crayenne Cayenne A pepper so hot it brings one to tears.
Cedling Ceding A small concession that will one day sprout into a full retreet.
Celebraty Celebrate A badly behaved movie star
Celibrate Celebrate All of the thrills, none of the action
Cellebration Celebration A DNA fest
Celerities Celebrities People whose suddent rise to fame is exceeded only by their meteoric fall into obscurity
Celerity Celebrity A rapid rise to fame
Celerety Celerity Crunchiness
Cellery Celery Mobile phone repository
Celibrate Celibate A non-orgy
Celibrate Celibate Allow clergy to marry
Cellophame Cellophane Status achieved by few men-for example Yo Yo Ma
Cellophone Cellophane Cheap transparent phone that makes a can with a string a better option.
Celloplane Cellophane A method of transportation for an orchestra
Chellophane Cellophane The same definition with a 1-letter change
Cellolite Cellulite Legs that are dimpled and bowed
Chement Cement Test-tube concrete
Cementery Cemetery The headstones are not made of marble.
Cementery Cemetery Where statues are buried
Bentimeter Centimeter Noun – a unit of curved length
Sentimeter Centimeter Noun – a unit of emotionality
Centimpede Centipede When you have to shuffle past 50 occupied seats and no-one stands up to let you pass.
Scentipede Centipede A faint smell of urine
Scentipede Centipede A 100-legged insect that can track smells like a bloodhound
Centrifrugal Centrifugal The force which draws people to a bargain or sale
Ceop Ceo Break at a staff meeting while the boss ...
Cerhamic Ceramic From what piggy banks are made
Cerebeltum Cerebellum Dominate intellectually in the battle of wits
Cerebrawl Cerebral Fighting words between intellectuals
Cerebrawl Cerebral A battle of wits
Cerepony Ceremony A little horse hired for birthday parties
Certificute Certificate An adorable little diploma
Certifipate Certificate Guarantee for a wig, toupee, or hair plugs
Certifried Certified A person who has just passed a board exam and who has spent many years getting an advanced degree.
Cessnation Cessation A small plane crash
Cesspoof Cesspool Rising gases visible over sewage containment ponds
Chaffé Chaff Coffee with wheat on the side
Chagrit Chagrin Intense strength despite utter failure.
Thagrin Chagrin Smile of shameful humiliation!
Chillenged Challenged Used euphemistically to indicate when a person is unable to get off the couch after starting to relax
Chambra Chambray Falsies
Cameleon Chameleon A desert ruminant capable of camelflage
Champacne Champagne Effervescent pimples
Chimpagne Champagne The preferred primate cocktail for special occasions
Chumpagne Champagne The cheap stuff
Chimperty Champerty Dressing up a monkey as a politician and expecting the voted peanuts to stream your way
Crampignons Champignons Not-so-fun fungi.
Champeon Champion The best of the least
Shampion Champion When the cheater gets the prize
Championshit Championship Everyone gets a prize
Chancellar Chancellor One who leads from the bottom
Handelier Chandelier Someone who loves the "Messiah" oratorio.
Changebling Changeling Jewelry options for a single outfit
Chapterone Chaperone A guarantor that there won't be any hanky-panky until Chapter 2
Charabank Charabanc A horse-drawn ATM
Charaders Charades Mime game enthusiasts
Chatcuterie Charcuterie Charming chatter to go along with delicacies served at a cocktail party.
Chariskma Charisma Captivator's charm could possibly be dangerous
Chariotable Charitable A race conducted in the Colosseum to raise funds to buy new lions
Cherity Charity Alms given to gypsies, tramps, and thieves.
Charlatun Charlatan A heavy load of "charlotte russe".
Charmink Charming A most pleasant and well-mannered weasel
Chawming Charming A lady chewing tobacco
Chartruse Chartreuse Conveniently letting the enemy "capture" fake mine-laying charts
Rchary Chary A measure of willingness to face a crossbow at 50 paces whilst balancing an apple on your head
Ghateau Chateau A gingerbread house
Checkfate Checkmate Born to lose at chess
Checkmane Checkmate The purpose of mirrors
Checkmote Checkmate What an optometrist does
Chjeer Cheer The art of applause whilst delivering unbeknowst Sarchasm (see last years winners)
Clef Chef Chef who places G above middle C in alphabet soup
Shemist Chemist The hairspray fog that lingers in the bathroom when your wife is finally ready to go
Cherube Cherub Sweet and stupid
Chestnot Chestnut AA cup
Hicken Chicken A headless chook
Chillingo Chilling [1] Specialized language for horror movie scripts; [2] Language of the cool kids
Chamera Chimera A photographic device with telephonic capabilites, internet access, extraordinary computational capacity, capable of assimilating unlimited functionalities, navigating the earth and the heavens and rapidly developing its own independent artificial intelligence.
In modern mythology, it consigned the wired Bellerophone to obsolescence.
Chumneys Chimneys Long-haul travellers crammed into smoking rooms in transit lounges
Chimponzee Chimpanzee Those network marketers whose businesses never evolve
Cairopractor Chiropractor Pharaoh's personal masseur
Chavalry Chivalry Knoblesse Oblige
Chicalry Chivalry Amoral, uncouth male rants about gal’s sexual charms.
Shivalry Chivalry Placing your coat over a puddle for a lady to cross, in very cold weather
Chockablack Chockablock 95% cacao
Chocolater Chocolatier The candy bars you hide for another time
Cholasterol Cholesterol The LDL that won’t come down below 200.
Cholusterol Cholesterol Lipid substance associated with diseases of the heart
Choregraphy Choreography Keeping daily statistics during the Covid crisis as you do endless meaningless little bits of work around your steadily shrinking abode so you can show your partner that you are actually doing something other playing dumb word games
Christmask Christmas Holiday during COVID 19-25
Christmass Christmas A period in December when people put on an astonishingly large amount of weight.
Chronologuy Chronology A male watchmaker
Chickle Chuckle Your pet bird's tickle spot.
Hurlish Churlish Gal's rude behavior.
Chutzpan Chutzpah Complaint about extreme impudence.
Cpider Cider 1] Tree-dwelling, web-footed arthropod
Cilantrov Cilantro Russian parsley
Sinderella Cinderella When the orphan girl is the bad one
Cienema Cinema A film event that manages to clean out your lower intestinal track
Cinemux Cinemax Sticky substance on the floor at the movie
Cinnanom Cinnanon A spice that tastes like another spice
Circusitous Circuitous When a three-ring show takes the long way to its next venue
Circustry Circuitry Audition for a three-rings act
Circulatte Circulate An elegant coffee stirrer kept in a special drawer and only used for fine coffees.
Circusatory Circulatory When animal acts are in your blood
Circumscrible Circumscribe Unsuccessful restriction.
Circumspeck Circumspect Wariness about eating bacon after an outbreak of Swine Flu
Circumspent Circumspect Can't think about it anymore
Circumsdance Circumstance An occasion at which a briss and a hora will be performed
Circusstance Circumstance One's view on clown and animal acts
Circumtent Circumvent Ingenious ways to end up in a teepee.
Sircus Circus A very rude profane British member of the aristocracy
Cirrhoses Cirrhosis Irrigation tubes that have sat in the sun for too long
Cusgender Cisgender Damn, I AM in the wrong body!
Citadeli Citadel Where Cadets buy lox
Clabberg Clabber Frozen cottage cheese; buttermilk ice cream
Clairnoyance Clairvoyance Ability to irritate people about perceived future events in their lives
Clairvoyaint Clairvoyant Normal
Clandestipe Clandestine Secretive cunning profile for spying
Clangdestine Clandestine A covert operation that everyone hears about
Flandestine Clandestine A subversive pudding
Clarifiction Clarification The attempt to make a matter more clear, transparent, or generally understandable foiled by the provision of faulty information invented by one's imagination, feigned, or otherwise untrue
Glarify Clarify To shed light on a subject to better explain it
Glassification Classification Heating silica
Crassified Classified When you whisper something to your friend that would be embarrassing out loud
Classifly Classify Caste-like system in place on most commercial aircraft
Claustraphobia Claustrophobia Morbid fear of Santa Claus
Claustraphobic Claustrophobic What Santa feels as he climbs down the chimneys
Clavicord Clavichord An old keyboard instrument in which the strings are made of real string
Pleavage Cleavage Discrepancy between what the suspect and his lawyer want
Clemensy Clemency Forgiving the bigotry in certain Mark Twain novels
Clurk Clerk A creepy cashier or furtive office keeper
Clurk Clerk Shoplifting watcher
Cleaver Clever Particularly sharp comment or action
Cleaverness Cleverness The Beaver’s sharp wit
Climaze Climate Intricate and existential goal to address climate change and earth's survival.
Slique Clique The Brylcreem crowd
Cluckwork Clockwork Hen job
Clownazepam Clonazepam Medication prescribed for habitually goofy people
Clouture Cloture Having the personal credibility to be able to end a debate
Crumsy Clumsy Being unable to consume bread without strewing oneself and one's surroundings with crumbs.
Glydesdale Clydesdale A large horse on skates
Coachello Coachella A yearly musical event in the desert near Palm Springs that celebrates gelatin deserts.
Coagulame Coagulate Bad at clotting or jelling
Foagulate Coagulate Defeat of foes by concentrating on horrendous world history events.
Foalesce Coalesce Result of male and female horses "joining forces."
Cobbra Cobra Item of communal underwear used by snakecharmers
Cobrat Cobra Obnoxious juvenile reptile.
Gobra Cobra Underwear designed for females who like to run
Nobra Cobra A serpentine sex-pot
Copa-Cola Coca-Cola A sugary, carbonated beverage served at a nightclub in Rio.
Conchineal Cochineal Pretty pink shell
Chockamamie Cockamamie Intensity of the absurd ridiculous happenings of today.
Clockamamie Cockamamie Implausibly punctual
Cackatoo Cockatoo Another public persona who opens their mouth and speaks complete shite. As in "he's a right cackatoo"
Cockatwo Cockatoo The childish practice of comparing your pecker size to another's side by side.
Clockblocking Cockblocking Making someone late
Jockroach Cockroach An insect totally obsessed with college athletics and beer parties
Sockroach Cockroach The fuzzy bits of sock left on the carpet that you mistake for a bug until you get right up on it.
Cocktoil Cocktail The work performed by a bartender
Coky Cocky A parrot with a predilection for crakers
Codpince Codpiece [1] Jockstrap a size too small;
[2] a zipper mishap
Cowefficient Coefficient A champion milk producer
Scoffee Coffee A beverage when drunk in the staff canteen causes you to speak in a scornfully derisive or mocking way about work colleagues.
Scoffee Coffee Person who helps themselves to more than their fair share from a communal coffee pot
Codgitation Cogitation Deep thinking by geezers
Clognition Cognition Cerebral flatulence
Dognition Cognition A thought or reflection; specifically about one's dog
Clognitive Cognitive A mental block
Cognative Cognitive Adj : the thought processes and intellectual activity of the locals
Fognitive Cognitive Sad effects of Dementia.
Jognitive Cognitive Deep thoughts while running
Fognizant Cognizant Not thinking clearly
Cognascenti Cognoscenti Connoisseurs of fine brandies
Coshort Cohort Five centuries
Coiffume Coiffure The olfactory effect of too much AquaNet
Loinage Coinage When Johnny Cash had his affair with pornstar Constance Money, they planned to name their son Spare Change
Coinicide Coincide A depressed penny throwing itself on the railroad tracks just as a train comes along
Coinus Coitus Paying for sex
Ecoliseum Coliseum Intestinal bacteriarena
Cullaborate Collaborate Misfits, incompetents, unscrupulous unite for dangerous mayhem.
Collabordating Collaborating Co-workers who are supposed to be working together on a project but instead spend more time interested in each other
Collaberation Collaboration An anomalliance
Collaberation Collaboration Devalliance
Collargen Collagen The little label inside a mans shirt to tell you the size of the neck
Collaterol Collateral The cheese and bacon you offer to sacrifice from your diet to appease your cardiologist so they let you keep drinking coffee.
Cooleague Colleague Someone you really enjoy working with
Collage College WPMI Wordplay Academy
Dollege College When the dollars spent getting your education exceeds the amount of knowledge you gained while obtaining your degree
Collusion Collision 1. n. conspiracy to have a car accident. 2. n. conspiracy to be misinformed.
Coldloquial Colloquial Trash talk
Solloquial Colloquial One's informal speech
Colongne Cologne The smell of hydrochloric acid
Coon Colon A semi-colon
Colognic Colonic A scented enema
Colonmade Colonnade Resectioned bowel
Bolorectal Colorectal A physical ailment that affects Argentine cowboys
Cocorectal Colorectal A stomach condition brought on by drinking too much hot chocolate
Codorectal Colorectal This was first noticed amongst the math wizards working at Bletchley Place during the Second World War while they endeavoured to break the Enigma Code
Cohorectal Colorectal This one was spotted in the crews of fishing boats in Alaskan waters pursuing the elusive salmon
Cokorectal Colorectal A problem faced by a very intelligent gorilla
Coldrectal Colorectal A condition endemic among Indigenous people of Northern Canada who sit on the ice to fish
Colorecital Colorectal Listening to beautiful music while undergoing an intrusive and very painful medical test
Comorectal Colorectal Uncertain origin and opinions are divided among experts as to whether this is related to a popular crooner or a lake in Northern Italy
Coolorectal Colorectal Winner of the "Best Posterior in the World" title
Coporectal Colorectal Affects policemen particularly motorcycle riders
Holorectal Colorectal A three D version of the procedure that very strange people may wish to take home with them as memorabilia
Nolorectal Colorectal A legal decision which causes the bottom to fall out of the prosecution's case
Polorectal Colorectal Akin to "Bolorectal" but affecting mainly male members of the Royal household
Colessal Colossal Not quite so enormous
Columnbine Columbine A tall, rigid wildflower; a manly buttercup
Calumnist Columnist Journalist who publishes defamatory material
Calumnist Columnist Attendee at a White House press briefing
Commatose Comatose Overwhelmed by punctuation
Commatose Comatose One who is oblivious to the need of the pauser mark
Combonation Combination Two or more countries joined together.
Tombination Combination Burial
Chombo Combo A combo of crunchy snacks.
Comebustible Combustible Volatile feeling arising from waiting and waiting for public transportation to arrive
Comodian Comedian A comic who specializes in bathroom humor
Comedye Comedy Funny colorants
Comeuppence Comeuppance Admittance fee to ride the London Eye ferris wheel
Comfartable Comfortable How relieved one feels after passing gas
Communder Commander The ranking officer on a submarine
Commensaurate Commensurate Genius ability to spot parallelisms, especially pertaining to WPMI!
Commissaly Commissary Catholic bookstore
Vommitments Commitments Things one has promised to do, the thought of which makes one nauseous
Lommode Commode A squatty-potty
Commanicate Communicate Obeying all the rules for commas in writing; see also "failure to commanicate"
Conmunism Communism A social order that allows inmates to: properly obtain, and distribute contraband items.
Communest Communist A hidden group of Russian spies
Comparisin Comparison A deliberate logical fallacy in which an equivalence is drawn between two subjects based on intentionally flawed and inherently false reasoning.
Coopartmentalize Compartmentalize Understand what chickens are thinking when they collect their droppings and create fanciful designs.
Conpassion Compassion Anything to get her in the sack
Compactibility Compatibility Learning to drive in a small car
Conpetent Competent Very capable at deception.
Mompetent Competent Mother Knows Best
Complacate Complicate The challenging task of taming unruly hair
Chomplication Complication The moment you realize the chocolate you bit into is the kind you detest
Camplications Complications N., the struggles of setting up a tent
Conpliment Compliment N. Praise offered to induce work (e.g., “You are so good at changing the baby’s diaper.”
Complaments Compliments The disappointment expressed at having not received the raise in salary that was expected.
Complaine Compline A very unsatisfactory church service
Camposition Composition The best place to pitch your tent
Cobpost Compost Decaying organic matter consisting solely of the woody cores of maize
Comppost Compost Stamp not required
Conprise Comprise US Congress House seat
Compulation Computation Sexual activity between two mathematicians
Compouter Computer 1. a high level CIO who has gotten laid off due to the financial crisis and replaced by a 25 year old for 1/4 the salary 2. anyone who cannot get Vista to stop crashing and wishes that they had just simply bought that MacBook air instead
Concantenation Concatenation A whole country joined in song, all on the same page– beautiful music
Conscentration Concentration Focusing on a particular odor
Concertart Concertant Multi-movement work for fruit pies with orchestral accompaniment
Canclusion Conclusion When the tin container is empty
Conclussion Conclusion The injury aquired when the truth hits you upside the head
Yoncrete Concrete Pavement, but over there
Conchubine Concubine A gastropodic courtesan
Concubane Concubine A “high upkeep” mistress
Concushion Concussion Those little neck support things they put around your neck after a car crash
Condomnation Condemnation Country with a declining birth rate
Condoscend Condescend Homeowner's Association president with a very high opinion of self
Condomlences Condolences The sympathy expression to someone who had an accident due to a defective prophylactic
Pondolences Condolences Weepy pool of sorrowful sentiments; may also contain lily pads and koi
Corndom Condom A latex sleeve worn while eating corn, to prevent getting butter on one's fingers, hands, and/or arms.
Condominimum Condominium A beret
Condominimum Condominium A REALLY small dwelling
Condominimum Condominium Protection for the not well-endowed male
Hondominium Condominium Living in one’s car
Condoor Condor The weak spot in your home or computer security system
Confibulate Confabulate To converse with lies.
Condfabulation Confabulation History reinvented!
Coniference Conference Meeting in the woods
Convidant Confidant An inside connection with the nuns
Comfidence Confidence The assurance you feel from a particularly well fitting set of dentures
Confidance Confidence The belief that what looks like a seizure is actually art
Confidunce Confidence Overly self assured actually incompetent idiot.
Confidental Confidential Self-assured smile.
Consfirmation Confirmation A physical exercise program for prisoners.
Donfirmation Confirmation A Mafia mob boss who offers a guarantee on his hit men
Confishcate Confiscate Seize by authority a boat loaded with fish caught illegally
Canflagration Conflagration An out of control sterno campfire
Nonflagration Conflagration Early and effective use of a fire extinguisher
Cornflate Conflate To fuse both flat and puffed breakfast cereal together.
Nonflict Conflict A perceived conflict that really isn’t.
Coneformity Conformity Brass-instrument bell builder standards and practices
Cowfound Confound A lost bovine no longer lost
Confucion Confusion The mental state one arrives at having misunderstood a proverb
Congastion Congestion Attempts to relieve nasal blockage which result in flatulence
Conglamerate Conglomerate A large group of flamboyant people
Congloperate Conglomerate A messy or ill-advised business amalgamation
Congomeration Conglomeration Central-African mash-up
Congreas Congress The oil of government
Gongress Congress A typical session of the legislative assembly
Congrassman Congressman A male member of the U.S. Senate or House of Representatives who is in favor of the legalization of marajuana. (also see Congrasswoman)
Confecture Conjecture Sweet speculation
Conjesture Conjecture Laughable, incredulous conclusions based on no proof, facts nor evidence.
Coneunction Conjunction A serving of ice cream on a hot day
Connectar Connector A juicy link
Connaption Conniption A tantrum at nap time
Consniption Conniption Hysterics in the wake of a horrible haircut
Contiption Conniption Fracas over low or no gratuity.
Conkniving Conniving Serious incident in Folsom Prison
Conquistadorm Conquistador The campus gigolo
Conquitador Conquistador The conqueror who didn't go
Consecraption Consecration Holy shit!
Yonsequences Consequences The results of what happens over there
Cansiderate Considerate Those who recycle
Donsortium Consortium The Mafia
Wonspiracy Conspiracy The Big Lie
Consterpation Consternation Concern over digestive difficulties
Constiputed Constipated Your computer is all backed up
Constipanion Constipation Somebody you always have a hard time getting rid of
Constipration Constipation Nature’s way of conserving toilet-paper during a crisis
Constituition Constitution Your right to overpay for college.
Constotution Constitution The clearly ordained inalienable right of toddlers to demand the immediate delivery of the impossible
Constriction Construction A traffic delay caused by road work
Consalting Consulting A prisoner doing winter roadwork
Consommate Consummate When a groom in his dotage makes a potage of his stewardship
Consumate Consummate A mate in indulging in consumerism
Consumate Consummate Well-fed
Consommation Consummation Finishing your soup
Cantemplate Contemplate Thinking negatively
Contemprate Contemplate To think out loud
Contempilates Contemplates Thinking about exercising
Contemporare Contemporary Sliced fresh off the cow and served immediately
Contemptorary Contemporary A contemporary for whom you lost all respect – or never had
Contemptable Contemptible A meal no one likes (like "boiled dinner" or aspic or...)
Countentious Contentious Causing or likely to cause an argument over money
Contraduction Contradiction Frenchman, toujours complaining he has to translate for foreigners
Contrafiction Contradiction A fabricated narrative constructed specifically to oppose or undermine a widely accepted story, often used in misinformation campaigns.
Contradoctory Contradictory When the second doctor's opinion contradicts the opinion of the first doctor
Contradicks Contradicts Goes against the groin
Contrailto Contralto Ghost writer in the sky
Countraltos Contraltos Royal opera stars
Constraption Contraption Held together by duct tape
Fontrary Contrary Insubordinate typesetter
Contribe Contrite Jailhouse gang
Nontroversial Controversial A controversial issue that shouldn’t be controversial.
Controverse Controversy A musical or poetic chorus, refrain, or bridge
Cantumacious Contumacious Positive self reafirmination that you can be obstinate
Costumely Contumely Fully dressed and ready to go forth and insult someone
Conandrum Conundrum A barbaric percussion instrument
Conoundrum Conundrum What to name it?
Conundrums Conundrum The mystery of why the Grateful Dead needed two percussionists, yet Def Leppard has only one - and he’s missing an arm
Tonundrum Conundrum A weighty problem
Tonundrum Conundrum Great number of serious problems
Convaletsce Convalesce Recovery for a car-park attendant
Convalespent Convalescent Dealing with the high cost of post-surgery healthcare
Coinvenience Convenience 1. Pricing items, so that they can be bought without requiring change. 2. Having the right amount of change in your pocket.
Canvenient Convenient Wine that is sold in six packs
Canversation Conversation A phone call using two cans and a piece of string
Converstation Conversation A conversation that is going nowhere
Nonversation Conversation Valueless exchange of words
Concertible Convertible A car with the top turned down and the music turned up
Convacation Convocation A prisoner's leave
Conpoluted Convoluted Complicated ways to destroy the environment
Cornvulsion Convulsion Quivering maize
Poordination Coordination The act of making all the people involved in a plan or activity fail to work together in an organized way
Acoot Coot Old and eccentric, but still sharp
Copascetic Copacetic To live a lifestyle like a police officer stuck on a long stakeout, e.g., cold coffee, fast food, sleep in car
Popper Copper In the Pustule League's annual Face-Off contest, a dude popped 137 of his zits within the time limit and won. For the prize he'll get to be on TV, posing for topographical videos in pizza ads! The crowd begged him for an encore, but he said no, he was too pooped to pop. And later from the bathroom, he sent a text adding that he was even too popped to poop.
Capraphagy Copraphagy Cannibalizing a famous movie director
Cropulate Copulate What farmers do to celebrate an especially good harvest
Copulater Copulator A farewell with a promise of meeting later
Croquetry Coquetry Flirting with mallets aforethought
Chordial Cordial Musically welcoming
Lordial Cordial With the air of minor royalty
Cordialley Cordially A not-unpleasant backstreet
Chorduroy Corduroy The harmonious sound produced by the thigh sections of velvet-ribbed pants when walking.
Corkuroy Corduroy A heavy, ribbed fabric made from recycled wine-bottle stoppers
Chorgi Corgi A small working dog
Toriander Coriander Right-wing parsley
Dorkboard Corkboard Weekly rotation of IT guys
Coramorant Cormorant A seabird's love interest
Wornrows Cornrows When your braids need a re-do
Acornucopia Cornucopia What you get when you plant a great many oak trees
Conucopia Cornucopia A veritable smorgasbord of grifts: crypto, stock trading, meme coins, I could go on.
Pornucopia Cornucopia Perversion in abundance.
Pornucopia Cornucopia The internet.
Bornucopian Cornucopian Abundance of utter self absorption of those born to wealth.
Corallary Corollary A dusty big bed for bucking in
Caronary Coronary The end result of too many trips to the drive-up window
Caronary Coronary A canary trained to do autopsies
Moronavirus Coronavirus Virus causing death by idiocy
Carporeal Corporeal Attributes of your automobile
Corporeat Corporeal When large companies go on an acquisition spree
Carpulent Corpulent Oversized vehicle
Corpmuscle Corpuscle A company that includes free gym passes as part of its benefit package
Cornelation Correlation Eating the first ears of the season
Corespondence Correspondence Letters to ones mistress that are introduced in court in support of a decree nisi
Horridor Corridor Unsafe passage
Corroberation Corroboration A robbery committed by two or more people
Corrugrate Corrugate A dollar-store cheese or vegetable julienning device
Cosmonut Cosmonaut A crazy space traveller
Costplay Cosplay The appearance in public of average people dressed up in very fashionable and expensive clothes so as to appear to be wealthy and successful.
Costermanger Costermonger The cost of a stable in Bethlehem all those many years ago
Coaterie Coterie That place in a theatre where you leave your outer garments
Coughting Coughing Avoiding all contact with potential partners whilst self-quarantined
Nountenance Countenance Simple expression of one’s being in terms of person, place, thing or idea.
Counterfit Counterfeit Behavior of a toddler in a supermarket
[see also aislefit, dairyfit, delifit, and frozenfoodsectionfit]
Counterwintuitive Counterintuitive A paradoxical election result
Countest Countess A mathematics exam
Cuntry Country 1] An epithetic style of music that is not socially acceptable
2] A geographical area inhabited with terminally selfish, manipulative, contrary and/or generally hateful people.
Couplie Couple In a relationship, take a picture together, similar to a selfie but with a Couple
Curage Courage Canine bravery
Scourage Courage The fortitude required to scrub the toilet
Scourageous Courageous A really great cleaning service
Courtesank Courtesan A drowned lover
Pourtier Courtier The royal bartender
Curtroom Courtroom Where the sentences are short
Counture Couture Intern whose only job is to count number of models on the fashion runway
Cavid Covid The Boston variant of Covid
Clovid Covid A virulent disease that attacks deer
Coovid Covid Bird flu that afflicts only doves
Coveid Covid A disease causing folk to hibernate in small, dark places.
Cowbelle Cowbell Alluring heifer
Cowdick Cowlick Transgender Bovine
Dozenage Cozenage [1] Pretending to be asleep;
[2] one short of twelve
Cragapple Crabapple Fruit from a geographically precarious orchard
Grabbiness Crabbiness The behavior of a toddler learning fine motor skills
Crudle Cradle A poorly finished infant bed
Branium Cranium Cranium
Cramps Craps What you get from holding the dice too tightly
Clawdad Crawdad A father cat
Crapon Crayon Those really cheap dollar store colored wax sticks not made by Crayola.
Crampuff Creampuff An overstuffed pastry
Credental Credential A Doctor of Dental Medicine or Doctor of Dental Surgery degree
Crudenza Credenza A sideboard requiring refurbishment
Crudibility Credibility N., the believability of questionable information. Ex. “Can you believe this crap!?”
Creditbard Creditcard A plastic rectangle that provides you with recitations in iambic pentameter for which you pay monthly
Cruditor Creditor A debt collector who needs a bath, manners, or both
Gredo Credo Relentless drive for wealth and power of the self-entitled.
Fremate Cremate Amicable divorce
Creamatorium Crematorium Last stop for the very best people
Brenellation Crenellation A castle that has been updated by placing rapid fire guns on the battlements
Creepe Crepe A French pancake with an unknown life form in it.
Cremuscular Crepuscular Gym rat with off-hours workout habits
Crepusculard Crepuscular Evening bacon
Crescento Crescendo The fortnight before a full moon
Brestfallen Crestfallen Facial expression after the fact....
Wrestfallen Crestfallen Attempt to comfort one from disappointing experiences.
Creton Cretin A stupid biscuit
Cracket Cricket A new game for those with short attention spans wherein you toss a walnut in the air and try to break it with a bat made of willow
Craminal Criminal A Russian prison
Crwminal Criminal A Welsh felon
Crinklex Crinkle A reference book with scrunched or wadded pages
Cryteria Criteria Measures of lachrymorosity
Briticism Criticism The act of criticising something in an overly polite, self-effacing manner
Criticasm Criticism The cerebral hole into which one dumps rejected opposing opinions
Gritique Critique One’s strength and determination of character displayed in comments.
Clochet Crochet A knitted hat
Crotcheted Crocheted A man jumped on his bicycle and realized too late that the seat had been stolen.
Rockpot Crockpot Prehistoric slow cooker
Crockodile Crocodile A porcelain lizard
Croissaint Croissant A communion wafer
Crasswords Crosswords A popular pastime using only words found in political discussions around the world
Cruecial Crucial Something that absolutely must be motley
Scrude Crude Nude, willing and able, alas without a date
Crudeites Crudites A veritable variety of vulgar vegetables
Crumplead Crumpled To beg from a fetal position
Rustacean Crustacean An oxidized lobster
Tryogenic Cryogenic Task attempted in very low temperatures.
Cryptol Crypto Equals Bankruptcy or Billions!!
Craptozoology Cryptozoology The study of the digestive and expurgation processes of mythical creatures
C-Spam C-Span Televised, unsolicited, unwanted coverage of government activities (brought to you by Hormel)
Qubism Cubism Branch of modern art dealing with paintings of people standing in line
Cubity Cubit When a square reaches maturity
Cluckold Cuckold A rooster with a cheating hen
Cucumberg Cucumber The one closest to the freezer box
Cruddle Cuddle V., to cuddle in a lackluster manner
Curddly Cuddly Whey too affectionate
Cuddgel Cudgel A bludgeoned embrace
Sculinarian Culinarian Dish washer at an elegant restaurant
Calpable Culpable A capable individual is calpable when their capabilities capitulate
Cultable Culpable Devotees are guilty!!
Coltivate Cultivate Raising horses
Cultivote Cultivate Develop a friendship with the electorate in order to get their vote
Cumulust Cumulus What it takes to be in the "mile-high club"
Cubeiform Cuneiform An ancient language that used little squares to form words
Puneiform Cuneiform Ancient wordplay in wedge-shaped font
Scupidity Cupidity Twisted avarice
Cordled Curdled To have gained a ropy viscosity
Curlfew Curfew Long straggly unattractive hair style
Turfew Curfew Reason street gangs fight each other.
Curi0 Curio A cure-all with zero proven results
Curiocity Curiosity An entire metropolitan area of flea markets, souvenir shops, and side shows
Puriosity Curiosity Pure Curiosity
Curliclues Curlicues Calligraphic conundrums
Curliques Curlicues Those long snake like line ups that we are becoming used to these days while waiting to vote or shopping for things that are no longer available and even if they are are getting far too expensive
Curlycues Curlicues Spending your time waiting in the line up for your Covid shot by standing in a maze
Gurling Curling Winter sport for women only
Carmudgeon Curmudgeon A person who treats their automobile with more care than they treat people
Curbmudgeon Curmudgeon Driver who loves driving through deep curbside puddles in order to spray unwitting pedestrians with cascades of water
Purrency Currency The state of a happy cat
Curfail Curtail A creature's inability to be a dog
Cartailing Curtailing Driving too close to the next car
Scurtain Curtain An extremely long and modest skirt
Curtesy Curtsy Passive-aggressive customer service
Yurtsy Curtsy Lowering of one's tent
Tushion Cushion Bummer
Cusstody Custody Explosive argument about who gets the kids, the dog, the BMW, in a legal dispute that involves verbal abuse
Customarry Customary Get married following the tradition
Clustomers Customers When everyone in a store decides to buy something at the same time.
Custoners Customers Legal purchaser of recreational marijuana
Costomize Customize Raising the price based on greed alone
Customes Customs Autobiographies of border guards
Custicle Cuticle A very adorable testicle
Cutelass Cutlass A curvaceous broadsword
Cutless Cutlass Property of a dulling knife
Curtlery Cutlery Terse tableware
Scuttlefish Cuttlefish The one that got away
Cryborg Cyborg Being truly upset by which of the two elements human or mechanical will dominate.
Cycalone Cyclone One on a tandem bike
Myclone Cyclone Identical twin.
Cyclips Cyclops Bands to wrap around the pant legs of a one eyed cyclist
Cyclisporine Cyclosporine Workin' up a sweat on a two-wheeler
Cyanic Cynic A cynic with the blues
Cynicalm Cynical Skeptical but really peaceful about it
Cynocure Cynosure Sinus medication
Dachahund Dachshund Strays on vacation
Daffydil Daffodil Crazy soup greens
Daffydils Daffodils Jokester jonquils
Dalmartian Dalmatian A black-spotted alien
Darask Damask Essential today that courageous questions and inquiries be constantly and fiercely addressed.
Duncer Dancer Bad ballet student who has to plié in the corner for hours
Dangelion Dandelion A predatory trapeze-artist
Dandylions Dandelions Glamorous beasts
Datablase Database When your boss walks in and you’re viewing NSFW stuff
Hauntless Dauntless Freed and devoid of agressive spirits.
Davenpart Davenport Sneak out of synagogue before reciting all the prayers.
Davensport Davenport Sofa mistaken for a trampoline
Dawgling Dawdling The act of moving aimlessly, lingering or wasting time because your dog must stop repeatedly to investigate each new smell.
Laylight Daylight A lamp on the nightstand
Dazy Daze A stunned buttercup
Wazzle Dazzle Former flashiness
Deadbeets Deadbeats What you need to make great Borscht.
Deadlime Deadline When you have to stop drinking tequila or you’ll be late
Dearthbed Deathbed Marital sleeping arrangement in one-bed dysfunctional family
Webacle Debacle Stress from walking into sticky intricate spider home.
Debarchery Debauchery The inevitable outcome of mixing Strongbows with longbows
Demonair Debonair Evil enhanced with charm!
Debtour Debtor An unsettling diversion for a man of limited means
Debutane Debutante Drain the fuel from a cigarette lighter.
Deputante Debutante A rookie police officer
Webutante Debutante Coming out ... on-line
Debtutantes Debutantes The nouveau-poor
Decayde Decade Ten years down the drain
Decadense Decadence Ten times more stupid than the average human. Highly likely to be a politician.
Decallogue Decalogue The 10 Commandments on a sticker
Recant Decant Funneling cheap box wine into empty premium brand wine bottles before your guests arrive so thar they think you are serving them the good stuff.
Decafitate Decapitate Process whereby over-indulgent coffee users lose their heads due to the excess caffeine.
Decapidated Decapitated Thoughts of suicide after enduring the worst date of your life.
Fecathlon Decathlon Dodging ten piles at the dog park
Decembrr December Coldest month
Demember December What Lorena Bobbitt did to her husband in 1993.
Dechiding Deciding Determining a course of action after due consultation with your loving partner
Decimale Decimal One-tenth man
Deckmate Decimate Fellow nautical crewman
Decklamation Declamation A speech given from a raised wooden platform.
Decrassified Declassified Formerly considered vulgar but made mainstream over time
Recompose Decompose To be able to write a new song while dead
Deckoration Decoration A ship's captain speaking to the crew.
Decrepet Decrepit A scruffy dog
Deadicate Dedicate Work yourself to death
Keepfake Deepfake Success of false information unchallenged creates continuous deceit.
Defemation Defamation Ruining your good name by everyone dumping on you.
Defeeted Defeated Switched to metric measure.. a bargain, 2 feet gets you 30 cm!
Defunestrate Defenestrate To suck all the life out of a party
Defanestration Defenestration A rocker's groupie fell out of the window.
Defenstration Defenestration To prevent someone from tossing you out of a window
Deaferential Deferential Being kind to the hard of hearing
Defibrilator Defibrillator Someone skilled in untangling webs of lies
Diefile Defile Autopsy report
Defyne Define Challenge someone to provide a better definition of something
Deafinitely Definitely Said vehemently when he didn't hear a thing
Definotion Definition Explanation of the meaning of a concept or idea.
Defliction Deflection The consequences attributable to the effects unintended consequences
Reflower Deflower The miracle of modern plastic surgery
Defunkt Defunct Feeling better
Degreed Degree Stage in a scale of desire for food or wealth.
Meity Deity Someone who thinks he or she is god
Delegrate Delegate Leave the firing announcements to a subordinate
Delugation Delegation A crowdburst of economists that turns out to be little more than a shower of fools
Dealeterious Deleterious Describing what a certain US President's " negotiations" can be i.e. bordering ( and I use the word " Border " deliberately ) on utter destruction
Dealiberate Deliberate The ability to distribute playing cards in a careful and unhurried manner
Deligatessen Delicatessen A small food service at the United Nations building
Delarious Delirious Marked by uncontrolled laughter, everything becomes extremely funny or hilarious when one suffering from uncontrolled emotion. Usually brought on by over exertion or fatigue.
Dilusion Delusion When you are certain you taste dill, except it’s not there
Damagogue Demagogue My intensely honest opinion of such a being!!!!
Gemagogue Demagogue Despotic jewelry appraiser
Demoanding Demanding Grumbling and complaining to make others work hard to meet high standards
Remasculate Demasculate Actions or words which reassure him of his virility
Bemean Demean Playbook of bullying lout!!
Bemeanor Demeanor One not nice to others.
Cementia Dementia A mindset filled with concretized nonfading beliefs.
Demontia Dementia That state of mind entered into my a person in a ‘black out’, particularly that of an angry drunk
Demitassel Demitasse A cordless pendant
Democrazy Democracy The way we practice governance in the USA these days.
Demoncracy Democracy A form of government where the most evil and often wicked politicians rule supreme
Democrate Democrat Last resting place of a Hillary crosser
Deiocratic Democratic Everyone gets a fair and equal vote, as long as everyone is a god.
Dermographics Demographics The classification of people according to their tattoos
Demonstation Demonstration Hell's Kitchen subway stop
Bemure Demure Heighten shyness when covered with mud
Deniabaility Deniability What judges have
Denisovain Denisovan The guy Carly bitched about
Denowement Denouement Turning to the last page of a book to see how a complex story ends.
Zenouement Denouement Peaceful conclusion
Dentsity Density The amount of damage I allow the right front quarter panel on my '98 Volvo to undergo before I shell out for repair
Dentale Dental Lying through your teeth about how the car got damaged
Beodorant Deodorant Reclassification of cologne when used in lieu of taking a shower
Departying Departing Staggering home after a long night of boozing
Deepend Depend Where one may drown one's sorrows.
Hepleted Depleted Friend who suddenly starts wearing pleated pants
Deflorable Deplorable A vestal virgin
Depoopulate Depopulate Spraying air freshener or burning incense in the bathroom after moving ones bowels.
Deposhition Deposition The giving of false information under oath
Despository Depository A holding facility for tyrants and oppressors
Beranged Deranged Sane
Dermapologist Dermatologist A doctor who says he's sorry, but he can't seem to find a cure for your skin condition
Bermatology Dermatology Study of barriers, natural and manmade.
Dearogatory Derogatory The art of appearing to be affectionate whilst being critical
Ferriere Derriere Clever way to tell someone to haul their ass in a wagon
Descendink Descending Runny print tint
Discription Description A statement, explaination or account that describes an event, in a way that discredits the event, the claim, or the originator. to dis
Dresecrate Desecrate Outlandish attire
Densegregation Desegregation Separate areas for hibernating buddies.
Deficcant Desiccant A laxative
Desirderatum Desideratum A thing not just wanted, but wanted by desire
Despire Despise When hate deflates
Respite Despite To commit a mean, vengeful act again
Despoondent Despondent Depressed because the ice cream is still too frozen for the scoop to make a dent
Drespot Despot Petticoat tyrant
Despotick Despotic Unceasing flinching of a European monarch.
Destingy Destiny When life doesn't give you what you want.
Meterrent Deterrent Tough to discourage myself from eating the entire 1.5 quart of ice cream at one sitting.
Deteste Detest To castrate
Hetour Detour The unnecessarily long and meandering route taken by a male driver after refusing to ask for directions.
Retox Detox What you do after you’re done doing all that purity bs
Detridental Detrimental Causing your teeth to fall out
Detriteus Detritus Discarded cliches
Detroitus Detritus The remnant debris from a shattered city
Dietritus Detritus Crumbled Brighton Rock, and nothing more
Deviante Deviant Change the cost of entry
Devilution Devolution The act of becoming a demon after having been an angel.
Divotee Devotee A cusp-topped toothpick holding a golfer's Club Sandwich together.
Texterous Dexterous Skill of those with agile thumbs to communicate.
Diabolick Diabolic A curl of hair that won't stay down
Diacolic Diabolic Tough infant illness
Drabolic Diabolic Fiendishly dull
Dignosed Diagnosed Someone with a proboscis like a shovel
Diagnostick Diagnostic A divining rod
Dieagnostic Diagnostic To perish without expectation
Diagnosticism Diagnosticist The belief that the cause of anything and everything can be identified, as long as its truth is ultimately unknowable
Diagonail Diagonal From a bad hammer strike
Daialect Dialect How a Welshman speaks
Diarhea Diarrhea An affliction affecting diarists in which they run on
Piarrhea Diarrhea The intestinal issues that arise from spending a year on a boat with a Tiger.
Diarya Diary A condition characterized by the inability to stop writing crap in one’s journal
Dialtribe Diatribe Mumbai telemarketers
Diartribe Diatribe A Tiradesman's journal
Diatripe Diatribe A long speech or written piece attacking someone or something but meaningless tripe – a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing (Shakespeare).
Dietribe Diatribe A primitive community of picky eaters
Dickotomy Dichotomy A very serious male operation whose efficacy is in doubt
Dicktator Dictator An Autarch who is also a prick
Ductator Dictator Someone who thinks you can fix anything with duct tape
Diptionary Dictionary Recipe book for party dips
Fictionary Dictionary A book of made up words
Hictionary Dictionary Words and expressions used by a hick
Sictionary Dictionary Hypochondriac's source for ailments
Duddle Diddle Wait a requisite amount of time to approach unexploded ordinances
Didgerido Didgeridoo Aboriginal faux pas
Didgeridodo Didgeridoo A birdlike wind instrument developed by indigenous northern Australians, sadly now extinct
Dieating Dieting Eating for two
Diffar Differ Be unlike by far
Digitalk Digital What texting should be called
Dilastory Dilatory Why you were late again
Nildo Dildo I don't get no satisfaction
Daligence Diligence Earnest loafing
Diligenot Diligent Not diligent, just a loafer
Dimansion Dimension Measurements given by a male, (not necessarily pertaining to a large house).
Diminnuendo Diminuendo A rumor that the trumpets simply can't play softer
Dixinuendo Diminuendo A gay Italian's social life
Duminution Diminution Unscrupulous incompetence has sadly become too prevalent today.
Limple Dimple Slight lameness
Dimewitted Dimwitted Penny wise, pound foolish
Dinosour Dinosaur A prehistoric lizard with a lemon allergy
Dimosaurs Dinosaurs Why they went extinct
Dipthong Diphthong A very skimpy bikini
Driphthong Diphthong Wet monokini
Dikplomacy Diplomacy The art of irritating foreign leaders while still getting your way, largely because you have the power to do so
Duplomacy Diplomacy The official act of boldly lying to both allies and enemies alike to further one’s own, usually hidden, agenda
Dimplomat Diplomat A cute ambassador
Diplomate Diplomat A tactful spouse
Dipsomat Diplomat An alcoholic ambassador
Hipsomaniac Dipsomaniac Imbibe from hip flask
Zipsomaniac Dipsomaniac What a fellow instantly becomes if he accidentally fastens his anatomy into his trousers
Direy Dire A litany of disasters
Derection Direction Failure to launch
Irector Director Digital parish priest
Dirigiblets Dirigibles Innards which are lighter than air; levitating sweetbreads, or flying tripe
Dort Dirt Morsel of food from a meal that fell on dirty floor
Misagree Disagree This is when two people agree to meet at a destination and end up in different locations.
Disappinted Disappointed The feeling you get when someone has offered to buy you a beer but fails to deliver.
Dishappointed Disappointed Finding dirty dishes placed in the dishwasher between the time the cleaning cycle ends and you get a chance to empty it. See also: Pannoying
Disalm Disarm To take from the poor to give to the rich.
Dishassemble Disassemble The proper way to set a formal dinner table
Dishassociate Disassociate Sous-chef
Disassociaction Disassociation Being into it when you're out of it.
Disafter Disaster The belated realisation that your actions have resulted in a catastrophe that was avoidable.
Disasster Disaster What your backside looks like in the 360 mirror as you try on the first swimsuit of the season.
Hisaster Disaster What a wife calls any DIY project her husband undertakes
Misavow Disavow Groom arrives too late for his wedding ceremony that is ultimately cancelled.
Disavowel Disavowal And Dataconsonant as Vanna White says on Wheel of Fortuine
Disavowel Disavowal A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y
Disavowel Disavowal The disdain felt by the British towards Americans for removing the letter “U” from many of their best words
Diskbelief Disbelief Conviction that UFO’s are real
Discobobulate Discombobulate To dance in an awkward and confused manner
Discombodulate Discombobulate A confusing out of body experience
Discomfobulate Discombobulate Change the battery in your handheld device.
Miscombobulate Discombobulate Unable to think clearly when presented with numerous and varied ideas
Disco-Bobulation Discombobulation Confusing and uncomfortable movements of the head accompanied by 70s dance music
Discombombulation Discombobulation Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?
Discomboobulation Discombobulation Are they real or fake?
Disscount Discount When someone enumerates each and every way you fall short
Discoarse Discourse Rough, vulgar speech
Disscourse Discourse To unfairly criticise the entree or main meal at a dinner party
Discovert Discovery On stake-out disguised as John Travolta
Discrapancy Discrepancy A messy inconsistency
Discrepfancy Discrepancy Rococo vs. Baroque
Discrumination Discrimination Next up? Beethoven Sonata N° 23 ’Appassionata’ or Mozart Sonata for Two Pianos, K.448
Discurssion Discussion A discursive discussion, got it?
Disgussion Discussion A discussion in which people focus on tearing a person’s reputation or writing to bits. Usually in academe.
Disscussion Discussion Avoiding a genuine debate by denigrating your interlocutor.
Disdrain Disdain Down which the last ounce of respect was flushed
Dishdain Disdain A universal hatred of cleaning up after a meal
Disembowl Disembowel To eat all the cereal
Disembrowel Disembowel Attempt to pluck eyebrows ... with pliers
Disemvowel Disembowel Space-saving method used by texters
Disemvowelment Disembowelment Editing procedure that leaves you inconsonant
Dysfigure Disfigure Newton’s fig theory: why some cookies are misshapen when they fall
Disharmory Disharmony Government storage for tactical guns cleverly disguised as dinnerware.
Dishheartened Disheartened The feeling that comes on discovering a sink full of plates, cups, bowls, glasses, pans, and cutlery that need washing
Dishoveled Disheveled The way I look after clearing snow from my driveway
Disinfacting Disinfecting The process of embarrassing or politically incorrect information from the public record.
Stating the opposite of the facts.
The Black experience in the USA is being disinfacted.
Synonym ' - See; lie.
Kisingenuous Disingenuous Affection neither sincere nor authentic
Dismall Dismal An abandoned shopping centre
Dismangled Dismantled The result of taking something apart and realizing you can never reassemble it
Dishorganized Disorganized The reason for having kitchen cabinets
Dosorganized Disorganized Music composed by Juan Bautista José Cabanilles to be played on two Spanish organs
Dispairage Disparage Dismissing a couple who have been unkind to you
Sisparate Disparate Female siblings who differ markedly in personality, attitude and values.
Dispenstation Dispensation The prescriptions counter in a chemist shop
Dispence Dispense Make a small donation to charity.
Disperson Dispersion Not datperson
Despose Dispose Getting rid of something you just really didn’t like
Dispouse Dispose Verb: to get rid of something you really wish you never got!
Diasposition Disposition A tendency to scatter
Disspossess Dispossess When you get insulted but you turn it around by owning it
Sisproportionately Disproportionately When one's female sibling gets all the good stuff
Disputz Dispute That particular dude you really don't want to argue with
Disquietune Disquietude A song played by a heavy metal band
Disquization Disquisition Formal inquiry into Jeopardy’s alleged cheating scandal
Disrapt Disrupt No longer impressed by the rhetoric
Pissemble Dissemble Urinated snow logo
Disdance Distance Not datdance, but disdance as in "May I have disdance?"
Disctending Distending Taking care of your precious vinyl collection
Destilled Distilled Mobile
Diswillery Distillery An establishment that produces less than palpable Spiritus Frumenti
Distinktion Distinction A quality that is notably unpleasant
Distanguished Distinguished A distinguished person under great anguish
Dixtinguished Distinguished A once-distinguished person now burnt-out
Disdressed Distressed My wife's parents showed up unexpectedly, and so when she answered the door in her new see- thru pink negligée, they were shocked. Mainly because that was a really odd place to have a door.
Disturdance Disturbance Emptying the septic tank
Sisturbance Disturbance Unpleasant scene made by a relative at a family gathering
Biurnal Diurnal Someone who keeps both parents' ashes on the mantlepiece
Diurinal Diurnal Pees during the day
Hiurnal Diurnal Delighted to greet a full day and enjoy the weather and varied activities with family and friends.
Liurnal Diurnal Daily lies
Piurnal Diurnal Daily dessert
Wiurnal Diurnal Daily questions
Diverse Diverge The part of a song that's not dichorus.
Miverse Diverse My personal original poetry.
Divinite Divinity Underling or trainee at a monastery
Woctrinaire Doctrinaire Chef who stubbornly uses the wok for all his culinary feats.
Doctranal Doctrinal Following orthodoxy to an almost pedantic degree
Dogumentary Documentary A fact filled nature film about our canine pets.
Dodecaknese Dodecanese A mythical Greek monster living on a group of islands that has 12 knee joints
Doghatcher Dogcatcher A bitch
Daggerel Doggerel Blondie's name for Dagwood's nonsensical speech utterances, especially when he tries to be poetic.
Dogmatric Dogmatic There’s a clever dog
Dogomatic Dogmatic Rapid fire opinion assault
Dolldrums Doldrums A must for Barby & Ken
Dolldrums Doldrums Barbie's trap set
Doltlop Dollop Dimwit's haircut
Dolephin Dolphin A morose porpoise
Domysticate Domesticate Train a person in spiritual contemplation.
Domimatrix Dominatrix Motherboard
Dohminions Dominions 1] Apprentice Bakery workers
2] Bank tellers
Fonation Donation A donation that’s considered false because it was used as a tax write-off
Dognut Donut A donut that has become stale and is now only fit for consumption by a dog.
Poodlebug Doodlebug An insect with a scaly exoskeleton, long pincers, and round tufts of hair on its ankles
Boohickey Doohickey A mark on the neck left by an affectionate ghost.
Moohickey Doohickey Bruise on a cow's neck
Zoomsday Doomsday Glee on accessing business meetings, funeral memorials, family events, classroom learning via your computer, tablet or cell phone.
Doppelginger Doppelgänger Redheaded twin
Koppelganger Doppelgänger When you bear a close resemblance to a certain television journalist
Jork Dork A hybrid of a dork and a jerk
Doormancy Dormancy One's tenure as an attendant for the entrance of a building
Dormerc Dormer A hired soldier in an attic
Dottage Dotage A pointilist exercise
Doub Doubt An element of doubt - doubious if proven, at which point it becomes doubious in fact.
Loughty Doughty Persistent and determined uncouth male’s rude behavior
Doury Dour The grim countenance of a prospective father-in-law who realises that the bride-price is too high for a woman who is patently expecting a generous dowery in the not-too-distant future.
Dogwager Dowager Ladies-only betting window at the dog races
Dawnload Download An early morning hack of a company's data
Drownpour Downpour A “once-in-a-hundred-years” rainstorm which just goes way, way too far.
Doury Dowry Dad’s countenance when he finds out what daughter’s wedding is going to cost
Dozent Dozen When the baker stops counting at eleven.
Dragonian Draconian The character of a cruel, mythical flying lizard
Draculap Dracula [1] Host anatomy best suited for blood sucking; [2] once around the track for a vampire
Grainpipe Drainpipe Silo
Dramastic Dramatic Something that is both dramatic and drastic
Dramastic Dramatic Histrionic chewing
Drumatic Dramatic Exciting and impressive percussion performance.
Dramaturdy Dramaturgy Theatrical ebullience following good bowel movement
Drawbride Drawbridge What the wedding photographer does when she forgets all her cameras
Drawlbridge Drawbridge A person of broad linguistic experience, designated to interpret for Southerners.
Breadful Dreadful The impending send of doom someone with Celiac disease feels upon seeing a loaf of bread
Deadful Dreadful Notice at cemetery “sorry full up-please try later”
Breadlocks Dreadlocks Bakery security system
Dromedairy Dromedary Milk from a camel
Dromediary Dromedary A naughty camel keeps a daily chronicle of his humping.
Dronedary Dromedary A remote-control camel
Dhrone Drone An unoccupied ornate chair or seat capable of remote controlled flight belonging to any exalted personage or sovereign, such as a “Dharma Queen.”
Drunkyard Drunkard A Biergarten
Drunkennest Drunkenness When mama bird brings home fermented grains
Dryoptithecus Dryopithecus A genus of extinct great eye doctors
Drywail Drywall When the tears are all gone but you're still mourning
Dobious Dubious A questionable action
Dumbious Dubious Questionable behavior rooted in stupidity
Druel Duel A spit fight between noblemen.
Drumbfounded Dumbfounded The title of the autobiography oh Aloysius Tympany who invented the first drum and his reaction to the furore it caused on publication
Dumbhounded Dumbfounded Perplexed by dogs
Dumpling Dumping The world's smallest landfill
Dumbster Dumpster A large bin full of bad ideas.
Duoglogue Duologue Talking to myself in a theatrical setting
Durabble Durable A tough crowd
Cutiful Dutiful A person or an object with extreme cuteness.
Dwharf Dwarf Short pier
Dwelth Dwelt Formerly resided in a money-pit
Dyery Dyer A journal tinted by pigments of the imagination
Dymanic Dynamic Expire frenetically
Dynamate Dynamite Super dating service
Dysontery Dysentery Your expensive vacuum cleaner craps out on you
Disfunctional Dysfunctional Adept at insults
Dysalexia Dyslexia The common malfunction of Amazon's Alexa device in identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to words
Dyshlexia Dyslexia Loading the dishwasher backwards.
Dyslaxia Dyslexia Either way, not really giving a sh!t
Tyson Dyson A very powerful vacuum cleaner
Dydtopia Dystopia A future governed by predictive text
Mystopia Dystopia The future society resulting from the attitudes and values of the 'youth of today" (from a senior citizen perspective)
Meager Eager A trivial tidal flood.
Eard Ear Ear hair so prominent that it can be considered facial hair
Searlier Earlier Sourer rather than lourer
Ebowla Ebola Online cricket
Lebonies Ebonies Persimmons with a Mediterranean habitat
Ebullbent Ebullient Folding a cow to fit in the freezer
Seccentric Eccentric The ability to become unconventional in an exremely short space of time
Ecdysiant Ecdysiast A formic pole dancer
Meclectic Eclectic One whose personal passions, tastes, choices cross through various periods and cultures
Heclipse Eclipse Awesome male barber
Ecomocide Econocide Economics without Humanity or Nature considered or recognised in the Economic Theories or Economic Reports.
Why?
The answer is they are immeasurable! According to the Expert Economists
Eeconocide Econocide The suicides that result from online scamming and deception
Egonomics Economics The study of how individuals use their limited resources to satisfy their unlimited need for recognition.
Iconomics Economics What Rock stars do with their money
Reconomics Economics Locations scout budgeting
Reconomics Economics What is now left in the wake of the great bank heist of 2008.
Economyst Economist An expert in creating a mystery when explaining economics
Econemy Economy Wall Street
Exstasy Ecstasy Intense delight no longer felt.
Exstatic Ecstatic Mobile
Tecstatic Ecstatic A profound feeling of sadness or pain when your computer (all electronic devises) are not working because of connectivity issues.
Ecrumenical Ecumenical Tendency for religious leaders to wear drab colors
Ecumedical Ecumenical Technical term for the process of a gathering different medical specialists to try to figure out what’s wrong with you
Edulweiss Edelweiss Boring Rabbi
Medgy Edgy Nervous about prescriptions
Bedict Edict Mandatory lights-out
Edifiction Edification Instruction in falsehoods. “The professor asked me to read the WPM Invitational word list for my edifiction.”
Ediface Edifice A veneer of grandeur
Edifece Edifice Poorly designed building
Ediborial Editorial Uninteresting opinion
Beditorialize Editorialize Highly-opinionated pillow talk
Edumcation Education Education of the Mind – If you don't Mind
Edwordian Edwardian Baroque dialect
Heffervescence Effervescence The aura that overhwhelms you the moment you step into a dairy barn.
Offervescent Effervescent A really good deal
Deffete Effete May its Dystopian decadence result in the humiliation of utter defeat.
Effincacious Efficacious Damn fine!
Sefficient Efficient Adj.–Efficient, but barely so
Deffluent Effluent The outpourings of an eloquent dactylologist
Reffluvium Effluvium Ump's odious calls
Effrontiery Effrontery Bold insolence on the boundary between countries.
Effusieve Effusive Hype filter
Regalitarian Egalitarian Arising from the belief in the equality of all persons, providing they are from “royal” lineage.
Uggnog Eggnog The unfestive way one may feel about a certain holiday quaff.
Egol Ego A hubristic houbara bustard
Eggcentric Egocentric A person fixated on Chickens
Eggocentric Egocentric Belief that breakfast is the most important meal of the day
Egomentric Egocentric Male need to prevail!
Ecomaniac Egomaniac An overly enthusiastic naturalist
Egomanioc Egomanic Root of conflict
Egotestical Egotistical One who is clearly too proud to just take his ball and go home
Egriegious Egregious Bad behavior by a well-known composer
Legregious Egregious Most horrible case of varicose veins
Megregious Egregious Appalling self absorption
Eggress Egress Chickbirth
Eidetick Eidetic A much too vivid memory of this blood sucking insect
E-I-C-I-O E-I-E-I-O Eeeh! I thought for sure I had paid my credit card balance.
Geight Eight The deportment of an octopus walking on tiptoes
Deighty Eighty A divine number, but not The One
Ejaculotion Ejaculation The sudden, inconvenient squirt from a bottle of lotion.
Belaborate Elaborate Skewer to exhaustion
Delaborate Elaborate Simplify
Eblaborate Elaborate The act of babbling on incessantly in an attempt to provide excessive amounts of information, often useless minutiae, about a particular topic.
Belaboration Elaboration Too much information again
Elblow Elbow To deny an invitation or proposition by laughing or using sarcasm
Elboy Elbow An articulate kid from Spain
Eldear Elder A much loved older person.
Celderly Elderly Flip top phone for seniors
Helderly Elderly Those who, sadly, have transitioned from hale and hearty to frail and farty
Electrick Electric A shocking sleight of hand to claim voter fraud
Electrocity Electricity Unspeakable act committed with alternating current
Eeleemosynary Eleemosynary Charitable funding for support of sushi seafood farming
Eleglance Elegance When a classy woman looks your way
Elergy Elegy A poetic lament for one’s excessive immunological response to seasonal, entomological, or pharmacological antigens
Elament Element A jumboled eulogy
Elementarry Elementary [1] Failing one or more grades in grammar school;
[2] how upstate New Yorkers pronounce "elementary"
Elechant Elephant The sound made by a group of elephants
Elephont Elephant Really BIG type
Relephant Elephant Hugely appropriate
Elephantiny Elephantine A newborn pachyderm, comparatively
Eleaven Eleven Two short of a baker’s dozen
Eloxir Elixir A bagel with smoked salmon and cream cheese
Ellips Ellipse What to use to give a virtual kiss
Elocautionary Elocutionary Reading disaster warnings with character
Eloon Elon An utterly foolish unelected bureaucrat who enjoys being a crazy asshole
[Unfortunately, we can't publish this in line with our apolitical policy, but we have anyway, while we still can - Ed]
Elangation Elongation A state of prolonged panache
Relope Elope The triumph of hope over experience
Heloquence Eloquence The Fascination of Abomination
Elequent Eloquent Someone who talks through their nose
Elofuent Eloquent Like mansplaning, just heavier topics
Helucidate Elucidate Today's offensive political rhetoric.
Elusieve Elusive A misplaced or ineffective strainer
E-Maul E-Mail An e-mail that attacks the reader or is offensive
P-Mail E-Mail How dogs communicate
Manate Emanate ...then womanate.
Amanation Emanation A country populated only by males
Emadcipate Emancipate 1] To make someone go crazy by setting them free
Emancipasted Emancipated Unglued
Gemancipation Emancipation Jewel of our country's history and humanity.
Amenuensis Emanuensis A theological scribe who specialises in having the last word
Emasculatte Emasculate Strong coffee in a flimsy, pink cup
Emosculate Emasculate Kiss your manhood goodbye
Emaskulation Emasculation Finally we reveal the true identity of Zorro
Empalming Embalming Shaking hands
Embareassed Embarrassed How you feel when house guests see you naked
Gembarrassed Embarrassed Experts duped by worthless stones.
Embhellish Embellish Make (something) more attractive by the addition of devilish details or features
Rembellishment Embellishment Sleep pattern which provides dreams that enhance memory and learning abilities.
Sembolism Embolism Wild sexual activities resulting in serious medical condition
Emberyo Embryo A spark of life
Embrio Embryo Vigorous prenatal movement
Embryol Embryo Draw into a pre-natal patenity suit.
Embryonice Embryonic A frozen notion
Embyronic Embryonic Before it was known he'd be Lord or Lady B
Emcede Emcee A resigned host
Emergencry Emergency In politics, climate, sexuality, colour, public health, language, employment, voting, etc., etc., "s not fair!"
Demeritus Emeritus Ignore our opinions at your own peril
Semigre Émigré Someone who would as soon be somewhere else as breathe. An aspiring self-exhile.
Reminent Eminent Conspicuous has-been
Omission Emission An Oprah fart
Gemoji Emoji Jewelry featuring unique icons.
Demoticon Emoticon Reducing to a basic or simplified digital representation of one's feelings or facial expression
Emeticon Emoticon A small face or symbol at the end of a sentence that is so badly produced it initiates the gag reflex.
Emocion Emotion Waves of happiness, tides of despair in a restless sea of dreams.
Emogional Emotional A sincere written expression of deep feelings that incude a generous sprinkling of emogis
Hempath Empath A caring person, who will even share her joint.
Emparthetic Empathetic Caring, but only a little...
Ampathy Empathy Electric feelings
Tempathy Empathy Scale from highest to lowest level of one's humanity.
Emphassize Emphasize To express something extra by including the word ass in its description, e.g. "get your lazy ass ass out of bed, already".
Emphasema Emphysema Shortness of breath when speaking emphatically.
Gempirical Empirical Awesome value of verifiable,factual information for mankind's eternity.
Hempirical Empirical Relying on new experience without regard for anything near the truth after smoking weed
Tempirical Empirical High temps should alert us all to Climate Change
Umpirical Empirical A referee's reasoning for a decision or call
Emplotee Employee A person who buries their dreams in order to work all day
Omporium Emporium A large retail store selling a wide variety of copyrighted mantras
Hempty Empty Being out of weed
Emptyrean Empyrean Show up at the Pearly Gates and nobody's home
Emui Emu Bored ostriches
Encatsulated Encapsulated Sleeping between two cats and not wanting to disturb either.
Enchantdress Enchantress Microkini
Encounther Encounter Meeting with a lady
Encrouching Encroaching To intrude while semi-squatting. Often done in theaters
Encumbeer Encumber The one that finally taxed the overactive bladder
Tencumber Encumber The maximum hindrance!!
Encyclipedia Encyclopedia (n.) a set of reference books written by the Pope
Encyclopsedia Encyclopedia Informative tomes for the one-eyed
Pendearment Endearment A love letter
Lendeavor Endeavor Borrowing money to pay for a vacation
Zendemic Endemic A constant presence of a peaceful/calm being
Enddive Endive To avoid capture, Thelma and Louise decide to drop out of sight.
Endiva Endive A salad snob
Endoctrine Endocrine Armageddon
Endolphin Endorphin Happy hormone released when swimming with mammals
Zendorphins Endorphins Increase in state of well being through Zen Meditation.
Cenema Enema The experience of paying for a movie, soda and popcorn.
Yenema Enema Unpopular Japanese medical procedure promoted by the nation’s central bank
Enema Enemy A rapper
Penemy Enemy Slanderous scribe
Energaze Energize Intense stare
Menergy Energy The kind of energy or excitement overtly exhibited by a group of men. There must be 3 or more present. Topics can include (but are not limited to) sports, cars and power tools.
Engaugement Engagement When you plan a wedding to measure how they handle stress.
Engaugement Engagement How long you think an incompatible couple will stay together
Mengender Engender Men
Mengineered Engineered Female specific product designed and/or deliberately arranged by a male with actual understanding or intent of use.
Mengland England The Europrostate. Home of the Brexit, gland of the free.
Englitch Englisch The language that my stupid smart phone tries to make me text in.
Engraver Engrave A mortician.
Engravying Engraving Pouring brown sauce on your mashed potatoes.
Ingraving Engraving Lowering the casket.
Egnigma Enigma The timeless paradox of “Which came first: the chicken or the egg?”
Henigma Enigma “What comes first, the chicken or the egg?”
Menigma Enigma Difficult to figure out male psyche at times.
Enigmanic Enigmatic Difficult to comprehend today's bizarre happenings
Renigmatic Enigmatic Mysterious again
Enjoyn Enjoin Encourage people to have a good time
Enjoynment Enjoinment An invidious injunction - "No having fun!"
Zenlightened Enlightened I really, really got it!
Enflightenment Enlightenment Achieving satori while flying.
Menlightenment Enlightenment The rational solutions that men propose while shedding the light of reason on an as yet unsolved emotional drama
Endnoble Ennoble Sadly, the utter loss of principles and conscience among too many today.
Enormopus Enormous A written article or musical work that was to be short and sweet but became too long
Enormouse Enormous Sewer rat.
Ernormous Enormous BIG mistake!
Tensconce Ensconce Today's difficult search for tranquility, security and positivity
Ansemble Ensemble An assemblage of Baritones, Basses, Tenors, Countertenors, Heldentenors, Mezzo-Sopranos and Contraltos, all ripe for redefinition
Pensemble Ensemble A group of authors or sketch artists
Insign Ensign The Masonic handshake
Zensorcel Ensorcel Enchant one through principles of meditation and intuition.
Entanglerent Entanglement About $20 - at a fleabag motel
Enterprize Enterprise Participation trophy
Enterprize Enterprise Hiring bonus
Enterprose Enterprise Wordy undertaking
Zenterprise Enterprise Endeavor with principles of peace, good will and enlightenment.
Entertrain Entertain The point when comedian gets on the subway
Entertrain Entertain Letting the iPad raise your kids.
Antertainment Entertainment Working out in the gym until you can effortlessly carry ten times your body weight
Entertaintment Entertainment An unsavory pastime
Entertrainment Entertainment “all aboard” for the show
Entertwinment Entertainment Experienced by new parents of multiple births where they aren't sure if they are the audience, the hostage, or the main clown in a three-ring circus they accidentally financed.
Entertwinment Entertainment Instead of a double teaming hot encounter with twin sisters coming true, one is confronted with a double-feature of derision and disinterest in stereo.
Gentertainment Entertainment Performance art for men
Ventertainment Entertainment Political demonstrations.
Genthrall Enthrall Guy with genuine charm.
Dentice Entice The allure of a good orthodontist
Extrails Entrails What’s left on the battlefield after Full Contact Tic-Tac-Toe
Hentrancing Entrancing Increasing egg production by hypnosis
Entrampment Entrapment Corralling hobos
Mentrapment Entrapment When a woman is tricked into committing a crime because a bunch of men suddenly decided that what she was doing should be illegal
Entreepreneur Entrepreneur The owner of a growing chain of fine dining restaurants
Dentropy Entropy So, your average lay-about man-cave?
Entrophy Entropy Award for everything
Edunciate Enunciate Intransitive verb – to pronounce words in an atrocious manner.
Kenvious Envious Wishing you were Barbie’s boyfriend
Environmentalmist Environmentalist The psychic fog inducing one to believe civilization has only X years left to be "saved."
Penvy Envy The wicked instinct to steal that coves over one when borrowing an excellent writing utensil
Epicardiac Epicardia An online fan of the Starfleet Admiral.
Epicanter Epicenter That equestrian discipline’s champion
Epicurse Epicure Dangers of being a gourmet who spends much time and money eating and drinking lots of dangerous "goodies".
Pepidemic Epidemic Contagious cheerfulness
Epidermic Epidermis Outbreak of a skin disease spreading through a community.
Epilipsy Epilepsy The inability to control one’s mouth properly after botox
Hepilepsy Epilepsy The spasmodic condition that results when one who thinks he’s totally cool, can’t dance a lick
Epicpen Epipen A medicated device for writers of truly great books
Epiphancy Epiphany Incredibly elegant revelations
Epiphanny Epiphany Waking up to the realisation that you're not a boy after all.
Epiphony Epiphany The dramatic realization that the person you are with is not who they seem to be
Mepiphany Epiphany The moment you suddenly realise something about yourself
Pepiphany Epiphany Wondrous insight creates excitement and joy.
Repiphany Epiphany The moment when you realize you’ve made the same stupid mistake a second time.
E-Pistle Epistle New Age brief
Wepithet Epithet Tearful memory of a beloved.
Epitombe Epitome A monumental success
Pepitome Epitome Embodiment of intense energy and well being
Epochc Epoch An adhesive for time-travellers
Heponymous Eponymous Giving special name recognition to scat singers.
Eproxy Epoxy A sticky surrogate
Repoxy Epoxy Oh crap, here we glue again...
Fequal Equal When you can't tell Shit from Shinola
Sequal Equal More of the same
Sequalize Equalize Getting even for the second time
Equails Equals Pairtridges
Sequals Equals New releases in a movie franchise with an unvarying formula
Equarry Equerry A site for stone masons to check on the materials available at any time
Hequine Equine A stallion
Equineox Equinox A bullock that can’t bellow because it’s horse
Equinlox Equinox Smoked horse with cream cheese on a bagel.
Equinot Equinox Equal, we are not !
Equitox Equinox Being inebriated during the equinox
Sequinox Equinox The time of year when female performers switch out their costumes
Equipmen Equipment Tool vendors
Bequivocal Equivocal One who is difficult to fathom and understand.
Ereptile Erectile A snake that can stand on its head and/or tail
Hergonomics Ergonomics The superb role of women in their eternal search for efficiency, comfort, productivity, respect, communication and compassion for all. Bravo!!
Herosion Erosion Lion-hearted paragons toppled by feet of clay
Ergotica Erotica Thereforeplay
Eer Err Fallibility. To eer is human. To give, give, give, give is divine.
Errota Errata A list of your sexual errors
Errotic Erratic Attempting to have deep emotional experiences but failing largely due to ones inconsistent performance
Erstatz Ersatz Artificial statistics and data.
Erudate Erudite A college professor spending the evening with one of his favorite students
Eruldite Erudite Well-learned, but glueless
Rudite Erudite Impolite Ore
Crudition Erudition Covering up your high intelligence by using foul language
Erodition Erudition Txtng
Erudiction Erudition The ability to correctly pronounce big words.
Escargo Escargot A shipment of snails
Escargon Escargot Ex's car stolen
Escarnot Escargot Counterfeit snails
Eskargot Escargot Inuit languages
Escargment Escarpment Snails on a cliff
Escatology Eschatology The doctrine of last poops
Leschew Eschew Seniors with teeth issues prefer soft foods to avoid discomfort.
Yeschew Eschew The act of telling your toddler that he is not allowed to avoid eating.
Eskiho Eskimo A girl who wears fluffy boots and jacket in winter but tiny shorts or skirt
Eskimors Eskimos Graham cracker, marsh mellow and chocolate treat you prepare when you don't have a campfire.
Aesophagus Esophagus A fabulist burp
Esophagust Esophagus Burp
Lesoteric Esoteric Fewer "experts" emerging
Emotericism Esotericism The belief that secret mystical information is encoded in the lyrics of whiny indie-pop music.
Espn Esp The paranormal faculty for a wife to know what her sports-minded husband is thinking
Desperanto Esperanto The language of last resort
Esplanader Esplanade Drunken teacher
Bespouse Espouse Perfect partner in so many ways.
Exspresso Espresso Caffeine that makes you more dramatic.
Esquirt Esquire A novice knight
Estabolish Establish To create practices that undo someone else's work.
Estamintet Estaminet French Bistro where everything on menu is served with mints.
Esteamed Esteemed How clams are served in Spain
Estivote Estivate Election polls which are only open during the summer months
Bestrangement Estrangement An ideal marital separation
Jestrangement Estrangement A silly taunt results in a lifetime alienation between friends/family.
Pestuary Estuary Mosquito infested waterway
Westuary Estuary Inlet on the opposite side
Etceterra Etcetera Uncharted land
Eternil Eternal Nothing, forever.
External Eternal The day after Infinity
Eturnity Eternity What goes round comes round, eventually, but don't hold your breath waiting.
Veternity Eternity I have been working with cats and dogs for many years
Eatiquette Etiquette Dining according to the rules.
E-Tiquette Etiquette Etiquette relating to electronic life – email, tweet, etc…
Jetiquette Etiquette Proper and appropriate behavior while flying.
Petiquette Etiquette My neighbors walking their dogs armed with handy mini plastic bags for the necessary clean- ups
Etiquetistical Etiquettistical To be absorbed and obsessed with proper etiquette.
Deuphemism Euphemism A more agreeable alternate expression used by a deufus.
Ewphonium Euphonium A tenor tuba that is overdue for a cleaning
Euphobia Euphoria Fear and distrust of European Union countries and anything emanating from them. Incontinents is the primary symptom.
Eureeka Eureka Time for a shower
Eurekan Eureka One who utterly reeks of triumph.
Ewreka Eureka Realizing what stinks
Europeen European When folks from Europe urinate.
Europeon European Serf
Euthinasia Euthanasia A collective name for teenagers in Asia who succumb to iPhone addiction.
Yuthanize Euthanize Terminate the life of teens who only roll their eyes, moan, or text
Evaquate Evacuate To silently empty your bowels
Evacation Evacuation When you go on a holiday but spend most of your time connected to your office by gadgets
Evacucation Evacuation When a hurricane ends your holiday early
Evaluration Evaluation Critique of an MRE
Evangelastic Evangelistic Ready to move to a more religion as necessary
Evapirate Evaporate Disappearing angrily
Neverest Everest The strange attraction for people to climb the worlds highest mountain whatever the cost
Neverlasting Everlasting Transitory periods
Everyonce Everyone Always now
Neveryone Everyone No one, ever
Evidunce Evidence Proof of stupidity
Evidents Evident What the un-insured driver just left on your car
Tevince Evince Goal to increase the popularity of drinking tea.
Elviscerate Eviscerate V. To disembowel by way of pelvic gyrations
Evicerate Eviscerate An ancient tradition of cutting large slices out of sinners in order to relieve them of their sinful ways
Leviscerate Eviscerate Steal bluejeans from a clothesline
Eviceration Evisceration Dropping the Vice Squad from the Police Force
Evilution Evolution When the bad guys eventually win
Exy Ex Referring to a person who was ex
Exacerdate Exacerbate To continue seeing someone who only makes your life worse
Sexacerbate Exacerbate When you attempt to be very amorous to your wife after a heated argument--only to make matters far worse.
Texacerbate Exacerbate Cellphone addiction worsened by latest gimmick.
Texalt Exalt Cell praise.
Texasperation Exasperation What you feel when someone refuses to stop talking like a cowboy
Exaspirate Exaspirates Annoy by wrongly pronouncing words with the sound of the letter "h"
Texcellence Excellence The widespread notion among Lone Star natives that their state’s peoples, attributes, and contributions possess self-evident ascendancy
Excellant Excellent My best friend's wife's mother's sister got out of prison last week.
Excellant Excellent The highest achieving termite in the colony.
Excellint Excellent When the dryer screen comes clean on the first try
Excrellent Excellent Something which is impressively awful
Hexcellent Excellent When a curse has the desired effect.
Egceptional Exceptional Easter lingo, words only used at Easter
Excaptional Exceptional Unique inscription
Exceptonal Exceptional Aleatoric music
Sexceptional Exceptional How to describe a person who excels at intercourse.
Ewcessive Excessive More than one dead skunk on the road
Hexchequer Exchequer [1] Storehouse of spells;
[2] one who reviews potions and incantations
Exclustive Exclusive Pining for the previous Mrs.
Rexclusivity Exclusivity Having an exclusive relationship with someone with whom you are self-quarantined, i.e. mutually reclusive
Exkoriate Excoriate Escaping from North Korea
Excement Excrement Support payments that bind
Excretin Excretion A refined and erudite gentleman who just last week was a dirtbag moron.
Texculpate Exculpate Incessant vindication via cell phone communication.
Exculpastory Exculpatory Alibi
Exczemad Exczema Reaction to your Dermatologists diagnosis.
Execrabble Execrable An ill-disciplined Board of Directors
Execaution Execution The act of carrying out carefully some activity or plan.
Execultive Executive Head of a religious order
Hexecutor Executor One who does wills through a crystal ball
Hexecutor Executor The witch who reads the will
Exemplump Exemplum A fine fat one
Oxercise Exercise The best way to enhance your bisons
Hexercising Exercising Practising witchcraft
Nexercising Exercising Giraffe workout
Exersize Exercize Clothes don't fit right after a marriage breaks up - I wrote this Jul 2026
Exfoliage Exfoliate The esthetic effect Agent Orange has on trees
Expoliate Exfoliate To clear out parliament
Extoliate Exfoliate To drone on and on endlessly over the virtues of proper exfoliation
Sexhume Exhume Resurrect a long buried love life
Exitgency Exigency A claustrophobic contingency
Texigent Exigent Immediate cell phone response.
Exitguous Exiguous Leaving the room quickly upon realizing you are underdressed.
Texistential Existential When an individual experiences a crisis of values
Exitentialism Existentialism A strong, philosophical desire to leave any lecture on Kierkegaard.
Exitstentialism Existentialism The belief that Schrodinger's box has a secret catflap, by means of which his cat comes and goes as it pleases, unbeknownst to the observer
Lexistentialism Existentialism Defining the value of ones life in terms of premium Japanese cars.
Sexit Exit Return to chastity
Exzits Exits Acne scars
Exodust Exodus What remained
Vexodus Exodus Mass departures from horrific persecution
Exxonerate Exonerate To cover with oil
Sexonerate Exonerate A hooker offers every service for the same price
Sexonerate Exonerate Being absolved for a below-par performance
Sexorcism Exorcism What you need after a drunken hookup that you’d like to forget
Sexotic Exotic Physically luscious simply by virtue of being from a tropical country.
Explat Expat A person who moves from their home country to a new country, and fails miserably in adapting to their new home
Sexpatriate Expatriate Your choice!
Expectaunt Expectant The feeling you get when you see the bully coming your way.
Expectrant Expectorant A mental state in which you anticipate that the child you are about to have will be your spitting image
Expedate Expedite Meeting single strangers in timed speed rounds
Texpedite Expedite Most preferred speedy method of communication today.
Sexpedition Expedition A journey for randy explorers
Extpensive Expensive Preoccupied by cherished objects
Experiminting Experimenting How the US treasury made its first coins
Sexperimenting Experimenting Trying to determine your gender
Axpert Expert Paul Bunyan
Ex-Pert Expert Revenge body.
Hexpert Expert A witch
Exportise Expertise Transfer expert knowledge to another country.
Sexpertise Expertise Proficiency at, well, y'know. And if you don't know by now, don't mess with it.
Expirate Expiate A retired buccaneer
Texpiate Expiate To apologize for some misdeed via one's cell phone
Ex-Plain Explain When your former spouse tries to help you understand what went wrong.
Vexplain Explain To make clear, justify or excuse, by angrily describing in more detail.
Expletise Expletive Proficiency in the deployment of sugar-nuggets
Dexploratory Exploratory Thumbing through card catalogs or wandering the stacks
Exfloratory Exploratory Working to determine ancient plant life
Hexplosion Explosion Incantation gone wrong...or right
Sexponent Exponent Easy to figure out what they support.
Exponental Exponential A degree of skill
Exposo Expose An exhibitionistic clown.
Hexpound Expound To discuss curses at length
Espressing Expressing Thoughts and feelngs conveyed over a small concentrated coffee
Expalsion Expulsion Removing former friends from social media and phone lists, address books, photographs, etc.
Exponge Expunge A parasitic former partner who deprived you of your life, your will to live and your bank account.
Hexpunge Expunge To undo a spell
Exquisit Exquisite A really pretty chair
Sextemporaneous Extemporaneous Spontaneous hook up
Lextemporize Extemporize Drafting laws capriciously
Textemporize Extemporize Ability to improvize your texting more easily and quickly.
Texterminater Exterminater The person with ultimate authority to change or delete text in an article
Textinct Extinct Will this incessant activity ever end up like the Dinosaurs?
Axtinguish Extinguish Destroy with hatchet
Textinguish Extinguish Destroy one's reputation by malicious gossip.
Sextinguished Extinguished When the flame of love has died and she says “not tonight dear I have a headache”
Extirpute Extirpate Term used on French golf course when your putt is short
Textort Extort Forceful, deliberate communications.
Extramaritail Extramarital Trouble
Extraaneous Extraneous The problem with having a double-bottom
Textraneous Extraneous Rather unimportant and unsafe activity while driving.
Extralordinary Extraordinary Appellation for two overlords in the same manor
Extraordiwary Extraordinary Unbelievably extra cautious!
Extraplate Extrapolate Needed for a dinner guest
Extravacant Extravagant Too many "no shows"
Extravagent Extravagant He certainly splashes money about.
Extravagrant Extravagant Excessive money given to ridiculous projects.
Textravert Extravert Someone who is only outgoing when texting.
Extrenmity Extremity Very great hostility
Textricate Extricate To delete and block an obnoxious being from your Text Contacts list.
Nextrovert Extrovert Willing to intereact ONLY with the person sitting next to you at a dinner party
Exruberance Exuberance Massage with too much ebullience
Extuberance Exuberance Potato frenzy
Exuberunt Exuberant Highly enthusiastic, but short
Yeglasses Eyeglasses Not my spectacles
Eyelaid Eyelid When a wink is as good as a nod
Eyelie Eyelid When asked " do you believe me or your lying eyes"
Keyesore Eyesore A common affliction amongst locksmiths, manifested in arthritic fingers.
Ayewitness Eyewitness Vote counter
Flabian Fabian Obese socialist
Cabrication Fabrication Building a taxi
Fibulist Fabulist 1] A person who composes or relates fibs.
2] A liar, especially a person who invents less elaborate, less dishonest stories than a fabulist, but fibs about mundane topics on a regular basis.
"a born fibulist, with no regard for replacing or exaggerating the truth with "little white lies".
Fabulois Fabulous What Superman's crazy ex-girlfriend's gay friends call her
Fabulouse Fabulous A rare, enjoyable case of head mites
Fanbulous Fabulous When a concert-goer is so extraordinary they get recognized by the act onstage.
Flabulous Fabulous Overweight and really wonderful!
Feçade Façade A thin, almost transparent veil surrounding someone’s line of bullsh*t.
Faceboob Facebook Any investor who buys into an IPO at 80 times forward earnings
Fakebook Facebook A place on the Internet where disingenuous people pretend to be interested in you.
Fakebook Facebook A social networking site where one can post somebody else’s photo and life details and pretend like its their own
Farcebook Facebook Where people go and post “inspirationals” about being good to everyone which you know they don’t abide by
Macebook Facebook A sex-offender registry
Pacebook Facebook A marathoner’s strategy notes
Fadetime Facetime Inevitably just when you have got all your family together on screen the power cuts out
Fecetious Facetious Not meant to be taken seriously; a load of BS
Facetousness Facetiousness Having several angular, carefully cut, and highly polished sides
Hacilitate Facilitate Ways that a computer is easily compromised.
Vaxsimile Facsimile A figure of speech using "like" or "as" - for example: the flu shot is easy as pie, or the polio shot is like a life-saver
Fantoid Factoid Untrue trivial "facts" actually fantasies
Fartoid Factoid Something that you have presented as a fact but in reality have just pulled it from your butt …
Vactoids Factoids Misinformation about Covid 19 vaccines
Factori Factor A place that produces roots of complex numbers
Factorum Factotum Drunken handyman
Fatotum Factotum An underling who got fat on the job, tum reinforcing the meaning
Lactotum Factotum Inability to succeed well in diverse tasks.
Faqts Facts Standard responses to common queries
Fractual Factual When the truth is flimsy at best
Faithling Faithing A new convert
Falawfel Falafel Bad fried chickpea balls
Fealafel Falafel Suffering from the flu
Gallible Fallible Annoyance at discovery of one's "errors and omissions".
Falsyhood Falsehood Plush cashmere sweater
Falsifried Falsified Standing too close to the fireplace with your new boobs
Fallters Falters Wireless parachutes
Famouse Famous Mickey ?
Famouse Famous Somebody claiming fame on Facebook from “likes”
Finatic Fanatic Someone obsessed with fishing.
Fandingle Fandangle Aficionados' glen
Mandangle Fandangle A solely ornamental willy
Fandingo Fandango Dance of the wild dogs
Fantango Fandango What Barcelona soccer club supporters do after a big win
Pandango Fandango A lively Spanish dance in triple meter accompanied by banging on cookware
Fangirlung Fangirling An obsessed female's ability to shout over the volume of the band (presumably to get the singer's attention; not permissible at opera performances)
Fangst Fangs Nervousness or anxiety brought on by close proximity to snakes
Tantastic Fantastic Sun worshiper
Fantestical Fantastical Unbelievably large gonads
Mantasy Fantasy Male imagination
Pantasy Fantasy Dreaming of trousers
Farsical Farcical Making an ass of yourself
Farretched Farfetched Projectile puked
Warmhand Farmhand The one with the glove on it
Pfart Fart German flatulence
Fartled Farted When someone farts so loudly it startles you.
Fascianate Fascinate Attraction to and interest in the fascias being both human and architectural
Falst Fast When you have been lied to.
Hastener Fastener Person or event which expedites some result, intentional or otherwise
Fastborwarding Fastforwarding Fastforwarding through the boring parts of a movie
Fasthidious Fastidious An ugly sprinter
Fastudious Fastidious Describing a quick learner
Fausting Fasting A deal with the devil whereby you can have anything you desire but nothing to eat.
Latalist Fatalist One who is never on time.
Fitigue Fatigue A consequence of over-training
Hatigue Fatigue Tired of head covering
Satigue Fatigue Tired of sitting
Fauxcet Faucet Movie prop sink fixture
Fauxlt Fault Framed
Feetures Features Characteristics of the movable parts of the body at the end of the lower limbs
Fecest Feces Lord of the Dunghill
Freckless Feckless A condition enjoyed by blondes who sunbathe without sunscreen
Peckless Feckless Phobia of having a vasectomy
Feistyx Feisty White water on the river to hell
Neisty Feisty Purports to be caring and thoughtful to others but is actually"passive agressive.
Feelon Felon Groper
Feemale Female Gay prostitute
Femanism Feminism The use of feminist rhetoric to disguise business as usual. “That guy’s such a staunch femanist.”
Faminist Feminist A person who hunger strikes to support equal rights
Efemoral Femoral 1] Not having a leg to stand on
2] Legless one day, oblivious the next
Femurl Femur The underpinning of a hippy chick
Permata Fermata [1] Hold the note forever;
[2] a curly or wavy hold
Pertilization Fertilization One reason energy drinks are so popular
Hervent Fervent Gal’s incessant rantings and ravings.
Ferventlye Fervently An enthusiasm for skin-ripping soap
Festivale Festival Secluded location for a party
Fistival Festival A bar fight
Fextivity Festivity The act of leaving a fete, or festive event.
Tearing herself away from the party was a long drawn-out fextivity
Pestivity Festivity Mosquitoes at your garden party
Feztoon Festoon A garland of Tommy Coopers, "just like that"!
Festoned Festooned The ongoing state of many "flower children"
Fetush Fetish Fanny fascination
Fretish Fetish Upset about one's freaky passions.
Wetish Fetish Crude test to determine if your neighbor's lawn sprinkler works better than yours
Wetter Fetter How your shorts feel when they put on handcuffs
Fewd Feud A vendetta involving only two people
Feudial Feudal Speed dial for an Overlord
Everish Feverish Somewhat eternal
Fews Few A short wick
Financé Fiancé The man or woman you are marrying for money.
Fiascon Fiasco A failed swindle
Fiasgo Fiasco Getting yourself out of a debacle.
Flib Fib To lie about one’s weight (flab + fib)
Fibercoptic Fiberoptic Orthodox threads
Factitious Fictitious New meaning of existing word, use of a fact by a politian to try to prove an unrelated argument
Facus Ficus An artificial ornamental tree or shrub often found in offices
Midgeting Fidgeting Hanging out with little people.
Fibuciary Fiduciary N., a person who lies about investments or property entrusted to them.
Fidociary Fiduciary An animal rights organization
Hiduciary Fiduciary Trustee who does not admit his authority.
Filibustier Filibuster Legislative action by political boobs
Milibuster Filibuster 1/1000 of a buster
Wiligree Filigree Oscar Mayer Wieners as Christmas Tree decorations
Filligreed Filigreed An overwhelming desire for Crème Cheese
Winagle Finagle Why do some achieve success, power and wealth with blatant deceit?
Funancier Financier The party that pays for the entertainment of another (see also “parent” or “boyfriend”)
Financling Financing Life savings, stuffed in one's mattress
Finlesse Finesse Eelongated
Finefighter Firefighter One who protests a parking ticket
Irefighter Firefighter One who suppresses her displeasure
Firecorks Fireworks The thrill one gets when letting loose the stopper from a bottle of good bubbly
F.Sherman Fisherman On Memorial Day, a salute to Admiral Forrest Sherman, Chief of Naval Operations in the Korean War.
Fishierman Fisherman One more suspect than another
Feisticuffs Fisticuffs Bracelets for people who resist arrest by putting up a fight
Fistimuffs Fisticuffs Terrible boxing skills
Fitbot Fitbit A computerized device that tricks your activity tracker into thinking you’re burning calories while you veg out on the sofa
Tittest Fittest As in “survival of the tittest”: breast augmentation to render oneself more attractive to the male of the species, thus propagating more
Tixation Fixation State-sanctioned bloodsucking
Fuxed Fixed When you thought you fixed something only to find you made it worse
Blabbergasted Flabbergasted Overwhelmed by gossip
Flabbergassed Flabbergasted Surprised at how loud your flatulence was. (i.e., "I was flabbergassed on a crowded elevator")
Flubbergasted Flabbergasted Effects of seeing BWI after Christmas
Flabgellate Flagellate To beat yourself vigorously with a switch in an attempt to lose weight
Slagrant Flagrant Egregious mine waste
Flatbeau Flambeau When her boyfriend was involved in a tragic steamroller accident
Clamboyant Flamboyant An ornate bivalve mollusk floating aimlessly all day without any concerns.
Flameboyant Flamboyant A gay swimmer
Flambingo Flamingo A pink bird that hosts casino night at the old folks home
Flaminego Flamingo Effin’ conceit
Flangel Flange Heavenly being with a supporting collar
Flannelf Flannel A tiny (dare I say, spritely?) lumberjack
Flapjocks Flapjacks Athletes in union suits
Clashback Flashback First there was Clash of the Titans (1981)—the practical-effects classic! Then there was Clash of the Titans (2010)—the dark, rushed-3D headache inducing spectacle! Prepare yourselves for "Clashback!" complete with stunt double Harry Hamilin in a bad wig and Laurence Olivier in cheap 90s CGI to complete the trilogy as the ultimate, straight to DVD, bargain-bin cash-in!
Lashmob Flashmob Models backstage
Flattely Flattery Praising someone just to get their apartment
Flatteny Flattery One's expectations of a steam roller
Blatuence Flatulence Loud ones
Flatulance Flatulence Particularly penetrating gassiness
Flotulence Flatulence The act of farting under water.
Fratulence Flatulence Gaseous emissions emanating from a brother
Flount Flaunt A general-purpose word for people who confuse ‘flout’ and ‘flaunt’
Flauntist Flautist Someone who rubs their mastery of wind instruments in your face
Fleat-Footed Fleet-Footed Wing-footed, but flightless
Flackering Flickering The progress of an altercation
Flimflame Flimflam Fake fire
Flintlook Flintlock Shooting a glance in the expectation that sparks will fly
Flipslop Flipflop Job description at local hoosegow
Flippaunt Flippant Insolent parental sister
Flippertygiblet Flippertygibbet A new way of cooking turkey innards
Flirtattious Flirtatious Inked seductress
Fleop Flop Face-plant from catching the threshold after a grab-and-dash
Flophose Flophouse Cheap nylons
Floorentine Florentine Describing dropped spinach
Flortilla Flotilla A fleet of taco shells
Flonce Flounce A single sashay step
Flourted Floured A dust-up in a baking tray
Floorish Flourish Appearing to be an indoor walking surface
Flurish Flourish Wild sneeze.
Flowerbeads Flowerbeds Floral bling
Fuctuation Fluctuation A scenario leading to distress, pain, incarceration or monetary loss.
Glummery Flummery Insincere sadness; insincere empathy (regarding illness or tragedy)
Flostered Flustered How you feel when your dentist criticizes your oral hygiene
Foaly Foal A futile filly
Toibles Foibles The tiny, irrational worries that plague your mind exclusively while sitting on the toilet
Holderol Folderol Nonsensical false ideas that attract and maintain cult members.
Foliarge Foliage A tall hedge
Forklore Folklore Old traditional tales told at the dinner table.
Bollicles Follicles Tufts of hair in strategic places on the male body
Fondue Fondle A cheesy embrace
Foundness Fondness The state of being either recovered or discovered
Fonduet Fondue A two-cheese blend
Foo Food Food made out of tofu pretending not to be tofu, such as tofu ice cream or tofurky. Foo is the American English spelling of the proper form, “fu”.
Flootball Football A team game wherein one has to control a soccer ball while playing a musical instrument
Footbull Football What sports announcers say to fill air time See also: basebull, basketbull
Footnot Footnote Hand
Fortrace Footrace A pedestrian redoubt
Forgeps Forceps Tongs used in ironworking
Forkible Forcible Able to be eaten with flatware other than a spoon
Borefather Forefather Between ages 13 through 16 sobriquet for one’s dad (OMG)
Horeigner Foreigner The king's promiscuous wife
Foransics Forensics The amount of money in Old English ( four and six = four shillings and sixpence) currency that you would have to pay to get a set of fingerprints at New Scotland Yard
Fordplay Foreplay But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Forepray Foreplay The practice of appealing to a higher power before a date in hopes of getting lucky that night.
Forrest Forest A place far away you go to for rest
Fornever Forever A pledge of disavowal, fingers ccrossed
Fargery Forgery Crime in a N Dakota city
Forloon Forlorn Mad-cow milkmaid
Fourlorn Forlorn One fewer than fivelorn
Fourlorn Forlorn Really really really really sad
Forkative Formative The period in a child's life when he learns to feed himself
Dormulaic Formulaic Sleep patterns
Cornicate Fornicate To cock an ear
Fornicake Fornicate A genital-shaped cake.
Flornication Fornication When the legs on the bed have broken
Forenication Fornication The act of being screwed by the golf gods
Fournication Fornication Menage a quatre
Fortifucation Fortification Prepartions for safe sex
Fortifived Fortified Emerging from a midlife crisis wearing a cloak of invenerability
Fartitude Fortitude One’s power to empty a room
Fortitode Fortitude A ballad celebrating boobs.
Fortitune Fortitude Fight song
Fartnight Fortnight Family and friends gather to enjoy Dad's homemade beer and his mixed-bean jambalaya with prunes, asparagus and cabbage, but later we have to open all the windows.
Fortknight Fortnight How long on average king’s men live after a battle injury
Portnight Fortnight Stuck at the dock for two weeks
Fartress Fortress 1] Flatulent female
Fortdress Fortress Military uniforms
Tortress Fortress A defense or defense lawyer (one hopes)
Fartuitous Fortuitous Having the opportunity to sneak one off without anyone noticing
Fartunate Fortunate What you are when no one suspects it was really you.
Fortumately Fortunately Lucky in love
Fowlmouthed Foulmouthed One who imitates bird calls
Foundnation Foundation America, for one
Faundry Foundry A carwash that has been adapted to allow a little deer to come in out of a heavy rainstorm
Foultain Fountain A contaminated spring
Boxtrot Foxtrot Running with a late parcel delivery
Fixtrot Foxtrot Depends (tm)
Foxtrout Foxtrot Reynard the Fish
Froxtrot Foxtrot Fashion show
Factured Fractured The broken feeling one feels when learning the latest news from around the world.
Frogile Fragile A delicate amphibian
Flagility Fragility Done as easily as a banner in the breeze
Ragmented Fragmented Torn into strips
Flagonard Fragonard Producing a masterpiece while downing copious drafts of wine
Flagrance Fragrance The act of wearing way too much cologne
Francphone Francophone A cheap method of communication in France in the pre-Euro years
Crankenstein Frankenstein The monster most women (at least the ones I know) turn into on a bad hair day
Frankeinstein Frankenstein A theoretical physicist assembled from dismembered relatives
Prankenstein Frankenstein A malicious trick comprised of several unrelated or mismatched parts; the doer of such a deed
Frantick Frantic Aggressive parasitic Anthropod.
Braternal Fraternal Horrific undisciplined behavior of siblings.
Flaturnal Fraternal Belief that Earth is flat
Flaternities Fraternities Male College Undergrad societies living in constrained circumstances
Faternity Fraternity Social club for the obese
Flaternity Fraternity The concept of time being 2-dimensional
Freternity Fraternity F'rever and ever.
Flaudulent Fraudulent Amoral and decadent being.
Greedom Freedom The unbridled ability of large, well-connected corporate entities or thieir ilk to do as they please, usually to the detriment of the public at large
Fretstyle Freestyle Improvised guitar solo
Treethinker Freethinker Sir Isaac N
Freightters Freighters Potato ships
Wrenetic Frenetic Wild about wrens
Priction Friction A loving kind of rub (noun)
Fryday Friday The day all potatoes dread
Friendshit Friendship When relationships go ape.
Prigate Frigate A self-righteous cruiser
Flightened Frightened Fear of flying
Flippery Frippery When you smile and give someone the middle finger at the same time
Frivolois Frivolous When Superman's crazy ex-girlfriend is shopping at TJMaxx
Frivolouis Frivolous Unimportant or needless line of French kings
Frondtal Frontal Eve's other dress
Grontal Frontal Deterioration of the lobes, results in its person being devoid of all positive human qualities.
Frontmaw Frontman Exceptionally yappy organizational representative
Frowzen Frozen Stone-age tool in a glacier
Frummy Frumpy Drably-dressed dipsomaniac
Crustrated Frustrated The feeling you get when you struggle to get the meat out of a crab leg.
Frostrated Frustrated Sick of winter weather!
Crustration Frustration A: Anger at lack of lobsters
Flustration Frustration A state of confused agitation resulting from being overly frustrated
Frustraytion Frustration When you want that fancy dessert in the display at the end of the cafeteria line but your carrying board has no more room
Trustration Frustration Ability to enjoy tranquillity and peace when all you anticipate goes well
Fulcram Fulcrum Studying for final exams
Fulcrumb Fulcrum A new type of robust bread that helps you to maintain your balance
Fuldrum Fulcrum Percusion instrument of awesome resonance.
Dulgent Fulgent Anything that is not "dazzingly brilliant"
Fulmenate Fulminate Term used to describe group of fishing buddies folowing an all you can eat Catfish dinner for $21.95
Funbling Fumbling The awkward acts of progress or regress yet having fun in the process. One may often find this old f_rt funbling with communications technologies.
Funambullist Funambulist Tight-rope-walking bovine.
Tunambulist Funambulist An ocean food-fish walking a highwire
Punction Function Ability to create clever/funny words for WPMI.
Flunctionality Functionality The ability of a tool, machine, or process to successfully fail at its expected purpose.
Pundamental Fundamental Your daunting task in creating a clever/amusing definition for your new word.
Sundamental Fundamental Sun, the essence of Life
Pundamentals Fundamentals The basic tenets of joke telling
Fungable Fungible Capable of supporting the growth of mildews, yeasts, molds, and mushrooms
Fungust Fungus Blast of essential humor today!
Pungus Fungus When word jokes infest a gathering or mold a topic of conversation
Punhouse Funhouse A carnival or halloween attraction in which unwitting visitors are regaled (abused?) with excesses of wordplay
Funnelwake Funnelcake Using a megaphone to rouse the children
Finny Funny When fish pun
Furrious Furious Personally angered by too much body hair
Furlung Furlong The source of hairballs
Fourlough Furlough Leave of absence given to two pairs of employees
Furlaugh Furlough Fuzzy humor
Urnishing Furnishing Selling containers that preserve dead relatives' ashes.
Furnoshings Furnishings Seating with holders for snacks and beverages
Furnature Furniture One's disposition to hairiness
Furorea Furore The euphoric high that podcasters enjoy when stirring up controversies
Curtive Furtive Briefly covert
Fartively Furtively Surreptitious emissions
Fuselag Fuselage One reason why Flights are delayed
Futillade Fusillade Sustained and concentrated artillery fire, none of which hits its target.
Fosilli Fusilli Stone Age corkscrew pasta recently uncovered in an Italian cave.
Lustigate Fustigate Romantic tryst at gated rendezvous.
Faton Futon A futon adorned in fabric that has horizontal stripes
Ffuton Futon Inflatable mattress
Fluturistic Futuristic Return of the pandemic
Fuzzt Fuzz Winning any election in Massachusetts
Furzy Fuzzy Describing a flowering shrub with a rabbit caught in it
Gaberdine Gabardine Gossip over drinks and dinner
Fadabout Gadabout Those who spend endless time and money on latest crazes and memes
Gadatout Gadabout One who brags about their social life
Badfly Gadfly No fly does any good for any one or thing except for another fly!!
Painsay Gainsay Intense anger and despair on hearing the absolute truth constantly denied.
Painsay Gainsay Chiropractic term for "tell me when this hurts"
Gallanttry Gallantry In the sport of rugby a term meaning you are carrying the ball across the line for a try and at the last minute pass it off to a teammate who has never scored before
Gaulbladder Gallbladder The organ which becomes inflamed after eating too much French food
Gullery Gallery Meeting place frequented by seabirds
Pallivant Gallivant Awesome fun travelling from place to place with a dear friend.
Galumpthing Galumphing The Jabberwock
Palvanize Galvanize Getting your buddies to become aware and spur onto action.
Gambaldos Gambados Stirrups or leggings for the hairless
Gamloge Gamboge Orange seats in mezzanine theater section
Gambowl Gambol The little-known partner to the dish that ran away with the spoon
Gumbol Gambol To pant, and jump and dance around after taking a large sip of a Cajun soup that was seasoned with a super-abundance of hot peppers
Glamut Gamut Now known as a "Designer Dog" breed.
Danglia Ganglia Excess organic pendulae
Gangover Gangover The way we collectively feel after a wild party.
Vangster Gangster One who minds a sailing vessel's ropes
Grannets Gannets Flightless boobies on an old bird.
Gardenial Gardenia One who insists she has a green thumb in spite of her perpetual herbal casualties
Cargantuan Gargantuan An old Cadillac
Garbantuan Gargantuan Clothes sizes 1X, 2X, 3X,etc. for oversized gals.
Garfoyle Gargoyle Desecrating a grotesque roof Monster
Gharish Garish Where a drunkard parks his car
Yarnish Garnish Rough estimate of the amount of fabric for a wedding dress.
Gearrulous Garrulous A driver who shifts too much
Maslight Gaslight Today's rampant falsehoods .
Gasfighting Gaslighting The psychological bickering between two people who are trying to drive each other crazy
Maslighting Gaslighting Candles used during church services.
Castroenteritis Gastroenteritis How Cubans suffer
Bastropod Gastropod Fatherless Mollusk
Glauche Gauche Single water boot for a gal.
Gavottel Gavotte A courtly French dance with Danish austerity
Gazebox Gazebo A television
Dazelle Gazelle A genus of confused antelope
Gelaton Gelatin 40 cubic feet of glutinous substance in one large container.
Gelatinoun Gelatinous A jiggly person, place, or thing
Genderr Gender Incorrect identification of one's gender
Generalissimom Generalissimo The Supreme Commander of the Family
Genderalities Generalities Global assumptions made based soley on gender
Genderalization Generalization Stereotyping someone based on his/her sex
Genervate Generate The stand-by power supply failed
Genderators Generators Chromosomes
Gineric Generic Anything alcoholic other than gin
Zeneric Generic Tranquil intuitive state of essential being.
Genderous Generous Chromosomatic
Zenitalia Genitalia One's outer aura
Menitals Genitals Outdoor plumbing
Geenome Genome A cheerful small creature
Gnome Genome A town in Alaska populated only by tiny old men.
Agenteel Genteel The name's Bond, James Bond".
Genteal Genteel A highly-cultured diving duck
Gintrification Gentrification The state of having had too many martinis
Hentrification Gentrification Displacement of current inhabitants of a neighborhood by new residents who keep chickens in their yards
Gintrified Gentrified The state of having had too many martinis
Guntrifry Gentrify Thoughts, actions and speech intensely influenced by the Second Amendment
Peography Geography A course for seniors on the location of public washrooms
Zephyrophobia Gephyrophobia Fear of soft gentle breezes.
Germil Gerbil A small furry animal that lives under the toilet seat
Germine Germane Whether my sneezing on you is related to your feeling ill
Germanation Germination Deutschland
Gerrybander Gerrymander Congressional district with boundary lines that excludes certain loud bands
Gerrymeander Gerrymander A twist and zigzag in the course of free and fair elections.
Gerounding Gerunding Noun-verbal communication
Guestation Gestation The period of time allowed for hosting visitors before they are induced to leave
Yesticulate Gesticulate Express acceptance by giving something the thumbs up
Guesticulating Gesticulating Pointing and waving wildly at arriving visitors
Jesture Gesture Jokes in sign language
Detaway Getaway Winning the lottery
Ghougl Ghoul Most popular search engine used by zombies
Gliblets Giblets Insuccinctines
Gibraltard Gibraltar A marriage on the rocks
Gigangtic Gigantic Said of a very large group of people going about together.
Gigantick Gigantic A huge bloodsucker
Gyggle Giggle A woman’s giggle, as opposed to a “guyggle”, which is a man’s giggle.
Giggolo Gigolo A male escort who laughs a lot
Gelding Gilding A liverish, leafless lily, lacking its bulbs
Gon Gin I only opened this bottle half an hour ago-where did it all go?
Gingerbreed Gingerbread A family of red-heads
Bingerly Gingerly Addicted to view all free vintage Woody Allen films on Amazon Prime.
Singerly Gingerly Commitment of evil in a most cautious confident manner
Giraffle Giraffe Sweepstakes with an unusual prize operated by National Geographic
Blabrous Glabrous An expose
Gracier Glacier An ice floe in full flow
Gladiater Gladiator And the happy cannibal flossed, brushed his teeth, and took a nap.
Gradiator Gladiator A swordsman with a thermal lance
Ladiators Gladiators Women who kept their cool while fighting in the Colosseum in Rome
Glamp Glam A lamp that’s too fancy
Clamorous Glamorous A desire for shellfish; an alluring mollusk
Glamborous Glamorous Looking young and sheepishly chic.
Glumorous Glamorous Pretty but sad
Glasnose Glasnost Highly ineffective Russian boxer
Glash Glass The vessel into which you pour your seventh glass of wine
Glamcoma Glaucoma Movie stars must look perfect even when unconscious
Glaucomma Glaucoma A sight worse than dots in your vision
Oglee Glee Not worth a glance, but impossible to look away. Funny, that.
Leefully Gleefully Not on the sunny side
Glammer Glimmer A movie star whose beauty is beginning to dim
Blissando Glissando Sliding gleefully between pitches
Glutz Glitz Just too much bling
Gloaf Gloat To boast of one's laziness
Gloobal Global What stops us falling off the Earth
Globtrotter Globetrotter One who stomps wine grapes
Slobophobia Globophobia Fear/dislike of slovenly unkempt person
Flockenspiel Glockenspiel Harmonious fowl
Glockanspiel Glockenspiel The safety talk one receives while purchasing a handgun
Glockenspeel Glockenspiel Doing a striptease to the accompaniment of an array of bells.
Gossophobia Glossophobia Fear of people gossiping about you.
Glutteny Gluttony Consumption of large quantities of food containing gluten.
Pmail Gmail What your dog reads and sends at every fire hydrant and tree when on a walk
Ignaw Gnaw Schew
Gunu Gnu An enlightened antelope
Goblet Gobbet A very small sailor
Gobbledybook Gobbledybook A voracious reader
Gobbledygoof Gobbledygook Senseless verbiage riddled with grammatical and syntax errors
Gooblers Gobblers Peanut eaters
Gobsnacked Gobsmacked Having eaten between meals as a result of astonishment
Godsmacked Gobsmacked Having had an epiphany
Codforsaken Godforsaken Iceland’s fishery industry dries up
Gadmother Godmother My Mum’s run away with a sailor
Old-Digger Gold-Digger An aged miner
Goldflinch Goldfinch That uneasy feeling you get after you have invested all your savings in a goldmine and the price of gold plummets
Goldiglocks Goldilocks The story of a family’s home invasion by an armed blonde
Goldrust Goldrush Well, if it does, it's not gold!
Golfclube Golfclub Incorrectly attired golfer
Golfcoarse Golfcourse An eighteen hole spread with VERY difficult rough
Golfiath Goliath A really big golfer
Glonads Gonads Great balls of fire!
Gondolaw Gondola Venetian traffic rules
Gonola Gondola A boat hijacking in Venice
Tong Gong A gong with a lisp
Goofle Google When you make a typo when performing an internet search and accidentally google the wrong thing
Poogle Google Dog with short curly hair and a fetish for finding things
Poogle Google To look up information while taking a poo
Boogly Googly A cricket player who moonlights by playing jazz piano
Foogol Googol One's intelligence and common sense are challenged
Goosedstep Goosestep A trick played by Nazi soldiers on rookies while marching
Forgeous Gorgeous A person, normally female, whose current, well, gorgeous appearance is mostly attributable to plastic
Gargonzola Gorgonzola The cheese that is simply too hard to carve and too ugly to eat
Gorgonzila Gorgonzola A giant, mutant dinosaur known for targeting and attacking Japanese tourists throughout Italy; and who’s most notable features are his rough, bumpy blue-vein scales and rancid-smelling atomic breath.
Mossamer Gossamer Describing a thin, gauzy layer of lichens
Gourmat Gourmet An expensive mediocre meal that tastes like the floor
Governbent Government Deliberate spello
Governmeant Government Any group of obfuscating elected representatives.
Governmen Government An all male Parliament
Governmint Government Pending legislation that will dictate allowable and unallowable breath-freshening agents for consumption by the American people.
Governob Governor Joy stick
Governot Governor A governor who neglects his duties.
Gracebully Gracefully Naturally wicked
Gradiend Gradient The top or bottom of an incline
Gridual Gradual The movement, at times, of a football team down the field
Gradulate Graduate Not making it to your convocation in time
Grammar Gramma The old fashioned way your Nana talks
Grampy Gramps A grumpy grandpa
Grinaries Granaries Comedy clubs
Grandary Granary A wheat storage operation run by senior citizens
Groandiose Grandiose Intense disdain for impractical and pretentious projects
Grandpatent Grandparent The Mother of the Mother of all Inventions
Glandson Grandson An overdeveloped adolescent
Granstands Grandstands Luxury suites at the stadium reserved for grandmums
Grandola Granola A very expensive canal boat ride
Graphity Graphite A malevolent force that ensures that pencils always fall on their point.
Grassay Grassy Examination of a lawn
Gyrateful Grateful Being thankful for the ability to ”spin—i.e. ”turn base metals into gold."
Bratitude Gratitude The change in your mental attitude when dealing with other people's unruly children.
Dratitude Gratitude The feeling of gratitude towards a doctor (dr) who saved your life from a serious illness
Graftitude Gratitude A sincere appreciation for accepting something that is not rightfully yours
Gratiturde Gratitude The feeling of immense relief and joy when you finally have a B.M.
Grititude Gratitude Appearing to be thankful through clenched teeth
Pratitude Gratitude Going on and on about how thankful you are
Bratuitous Gratuitous Exasperating cavalier, dangerous being with no redeeming qualities.
Fratuity Gratuity A tip given to another frosh to avoid hazing
Greatuity Gratuity An exceptionally generous tip
Craveyard Graveyard Smoking in a cemetary
Grabitate Gravitate The consumate self absorbed who constantly take from Life with no desire to give.
Bravity Gravity How an undergarment counteracts a force of nature
Gravitoy Gravity A magical toy that defies the laws of gravity by floating and spinning in mid air.
Grayzers Grazers Retirees who attend annual shareholder meetings soley for free food.
Geek Greek An email scammer - beware of Geeks bearing grifts
Greedhouse Greenhouse The Oval Office
Gregarioes Gregarious A convivial, ring-shaped cereal
Pregarious Gregarious Psyching up prior to socializing
Grenaders Grenadiers Excitable inhabitants of a Caribbean island who love to hurl live bombs at each other
Greenadine Grenadine Syrup made from unripe pomegranates
Griniron Gridiron One who so enjoys pressing clothes for all including underwear.
Grimance Grimace An unpromising courtship
Grinaced Grimaced The opposite of having a poker face
Grinn Grin Adapting traditional Fairy stories to provide a happy ending
Groutesque Grotesque Shoddy tile work
Quarantee Guarantee Claims that social distancing works
Grubernatorial Gubernatorial Immoral and often illegal behaviour by a well - placed and highly recommended Government official.
Gubernatoriale Gubernatorial The celebratory beer traditionally served to winners of statewide political office
Guestrouse Guesthouse A wake-up call
Guffawn Guffaw A boisterous bambi
Guidunce Guidance A poor tour leader
Aguile Guile Deceptively quick
Grillotine Guillotine Burning at the stake
Guillotune Guillotine Calming music played during the French Revolution
Quitar Guitar The invariable guitar at a friend’s house that he only tried to play for, like, three months
Guitarpist Guitarist A rocker who only wants to perform in the rain
Gimption Gumption Overcoming a distinctly adverse mobility issue
Punbarrel Gunbarrel What you're looking down when you're about to be the victim of wordplay
Gumslinger Gunslinger Bazooka launcher
Punslinger Gunslinger Someone capable of hurling epithets and sobriquebats with equal facility
Gourney Gurney Travelling by hearse
Gumnasium Gymnasium Location of a bubble-blowing contest
Gymnausium Gymnasium When guys won’t shut up about their workouts.
Gymnasties Gymnastics The piles of sweaty clothes left in the locker room after practice
Guynecologist Gynecologist Trans-gendered person’s doctor.
Gyroscape Gyroscape Painting raffled off by a service club
Haberdishery Haberdashery Men's unwashed kitchenware and accessories
Saberdashery Haberdashery Specialty shop for cavalry, swashbucklers, and Star Wars characters
Habet Habit Tendency to spend money on gambling games
Habitbat Habitat A flying mammal that will cause a nun to dance unexpectedly when she dresses
Hagitat Habitat Special location for vicious old women.
Shabitat Habitat When your dwelling needs maintenance
Wabitat Habitat What Elmer Fudd calls a rabbit habitat.
Hockneyed Hackneyed When an artist’s body of work looks unoriginal and tired
Wackneyed Hackneyed Amusing in a peculiar manner.
Chaiku Haiku Talentless musings, resembling poetry, written with tea leaves
Mailstorm Hailstorm Postal truck accident in heavy winds
Heirbrush Hairbrush Oldest son just got disinherited
Phale Hale When you're not nearly as healthy as you think you are
Hailitosis Halitosis Putresctrichor – the smell of an ice-storm in a swamp
Helitosis Halitosis Baad breath
Mallelujah Hallelujah The sound you make when your holiday shopping is finally completed.
Falloween Halloween The kids come home on Oct 31st empy handed
Hallucidate Hallucinate Who you wake up with after a night of drinking and bears no resemblance to who you hooked up with
Hallucynate Hallucinate Seeing images of Lucille B
Hellucinating Hallucinating Firmly believing you were denied entry at the Pearly Gates
Hellucination Hallucination A really bad acid trip
Halol Halo Jokes made in good taste.
Shamburger Hamburger Plant-based
Harmlet Hamlet King Claudius's intentional malice towards his step - son and rightful heir to the Throne of Denmark.
Hammuck Hammock When your swinging bed drags in the mud
Shamster Hamster A fake hamster
Handcronk Handcrank Arthritis
Hindfast Handfast Constipated
Handicrap Handicap Using a handicap sticker but you are really just abusing the system
Hindkerchief Handkerchief Half a loincloth
Fandles Handles Hangers-on in a rock group's entourage
Bandmaiden Handmaiden Virgin Groupie
Handshave Handshake A horny youth's weekly ritual
Handsom Handsome Arrive at sum by counting on fingers
Hangmat Hangman A pad onto which the victim of the noose should not actually fall
Handy-Panky Hanky-Panky The joys of ambidextrousness
Shanky-Panky Hanky-Panky Blade play
Ahaole Haole A Hawaiian word for an ill-mannered tourist from the mainland.
Aphazard Haphazard Problems of dangerous and deceptive Apps
Chaphazard Haphazard [1] Being out in cold, dry weather;
[2] dapper thugs blocking your way down the alley
Mapless Hapless Broken GPS
Chaploid Haploid A haploid reproductive cell carrying a Y chromosome
Pappening Happening Mix of the word happening and popping like "what's pappen, brother"
Nappenstance Happenstance The ability to sleep while standing upright
Happy-Go-Licky Happy-Go-Lucky The kids just received a bunch of lollipops.
Harangle Harangue An intense argument over the best way to calculate the area in a right triangle
Marangued Harangued When getting whipped is just your just desserts
Hardbinger Harbinger Dedicated drunk
HarZinger Harbinger Hesitant striking remark
Tarbinger Harbinger The first sign of road construction.
Harcrown Harcrow King of the Har-Hars - on this site :-)
Harkrow Harcrow The rows of seats up in the gods where it is impossible to hear a French Horn player without a Mike.
Harmonicab Harmonica A taxi driver with a mouth organ
Harmonice Harmonize Mugging on a skating rink
Harmoney Harmony Currency facing the same way
Hormony Harmony The chemistry of mutual attraction
Hairidan Harridan The shrew overdosed on the transition hormone treatments
Hurridan Harridan A mean old scold running late
Hairrowing Harrowing Plowing (for the hirsute)
Hardrowing Harrowing Oxford/Cambridge exhibition race - Canada, mid-winter
Harroring Harrowing Dial M for Murder
Phart Hart A Noachian Old Deer
Hairvest Harvest A fashion accessory for someone doing penance.
Jarvest Harvest Gleaning jam containers
Haswishes Hashishes When your young child looks up at the sky tonight and sees his first light and bright star, you'll be enchanted with his guileless innocence as he ...
Aunted Haunted When a parent has many sisters
Meadcam Headcam Video equipment in a fermentation tank
Deaddress Headdress For males, a black suit
Headshunted Headhunted A blandishment to the CEO after a sideways promotion
Heedlong Headlong The duration it takes some people to "finally&" get it!
Headrust Headrest Cranial corrosion generally precipitated by brain farts
Fealth Health Abdominal changes in the wake of a diminished investment portfolio which causes the stomach to inherit iron-like qualities
Sheap Heap A pile of woolly ruminants
Hearstay Hearsay A better place to pitch your tent than a therebye
Shearse Hearse Her backside
Hearthfelt Heartfelt A longing for hearth and home
Henbrews Hebrews Tea for chickens
Hybrides Hebrides The mixed and merry cultures found on the islands off Scotland
Heltic Hectic When “hectic” is not a strong enough word.
Wedonism Hedonism The doctrine that marriage is likely to porvide pleasure
Fedonistic Hedonistic One who is particularly self-indulgent in the culinary realm
Hegemom Hegemon Super Mom!!
Hedgemony Hegemony Colonialist shrubberies
Hegemoney Hegemony The hegemony of the dollar
Hogemony Hegemony High pork prices
Legemony Hegemony Aged's walking mobility replaced and controlled by walkers on wheels.
Hight Height A measure of one's intoxication.
Eightening Heightening Snow White welcomes the arrival of a new dwarf.
Hairloom Heirloom A tool used for making wigs.
Helicopper Helicopter A flying policeman
Helpicopter Helicopter Also known as the Care Flight Chopper, the vehicle that flies the seriously injured to the nearest care facility
Holicopter Helicopter Upgrade for the Pope
Heliotripe Heliotrope Trashy articles in the Sun newspaper
Hellotropic Heliotropic First thing you say upon arrival in Cancun
Bello Hello A shouted greeting
Helpmeat Helpmeet Gracy
Hellsinki Helsinki Rhetorical question when one's boat is capsizing in the Finish capital.
Hemathology Hematology The study of the physiology of the "blood" and "minus"
Hamisphere Hemisphere Comedy night club
Humisphere Hemisphere Only remembering half a song
Memorrhaging Hemorrhaging Losing your mind
Humorrhoid Hemorrhoid An enormous vehicle blocking your passage
Hunchman Henchman Cwhiminal minion
Hepcatitis Hepatitis A jazz-lover's jazzed-liver
Herbibore Herbivore Someone who can't stop talking about their vegan diet
Verbivore Herbivore Action word user.
Nerdsman Herdsman A young shepherd who spends his time instead of tending sheep trying to invent an app that will do the work for him.( Would he use Baaasic as his language of choice?)
Hereindafter Hereinafter Now the plot really drifts into absurdity
Wheresy Heresy Claims that opposing opinions never existed.
Harmaphrodite Hermaphrodite There, with a knife, fixed the ambiguity!
Hermitically Hermetically How some people act after living alone for a long time
Nernia Hernia After reading C.S.Lewis’ “the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe” you get a serious pain in the lower reaches of your stomach
Bhero Hero Winner of a drinking contest
Herringbane Herringbone Plaids
Hearingbones Herringbones The Malleus, Incus and Stapes
Hurtz Hertz The unit of measure that determines the amount of facial pressure a jazz trumpeter can use before requiring medical treatment
Heterosox Heterodox Unorthodox movement that insists on daily mismatched foot coverings.
Heateronomy Heteronomy Warmth from an outside source; inability to generate one's own warmth
Diatus Hiatus Forever pause in Life as one passes .
Hiatusk Hiatus A gap-toothed elephant
Cibernate Hibernate Where you withdraw from participating on the internetworks.
Siccups Hiccups When a person’s error-ridden social media post is later quoted by an editor who has the patience to mark each error with a “(sic)”, one would say that the original poster had the siccups.
Lierarchy Hierarchy Group arranged by rank for blatant lies
Pierarchy Hierarchy Pies rank ordered by preference
Hijocking Hijacking High-five activity from the jockey at the winner's circle.
Hilaryous Hilarious Mrs. Clinton's laugh
Hillbelly Hillbilly A redneck’s paunch
Hindslight Hindsight An excellent insult one thinks of after an argument
Hippodrone Hippodrome A stadium wherein politicians run around in ideological circles and bloviate
Hoppodrome Hippodrome Where rabbit races are held
Shippophobia Hippophobia Fearful of cruise ships
Happopotamus Hippopotamus A large aquatic mammal that spends much of its time grinning
Hipnopotamus Hippopotamus A river-dwelling mesmerist
Hippoplotamus Hippopotamus The tactical union of all hoofed animals (mammals), ref. Ungulata, currently divided into several orders, in order to join with the Apes rebellion.
Hippopotamush Hippopotamus Trampled
Shipster Hipster N., someone who was on that cruise BEFORE it was big
Thirsute Hirsute Quite a hairy lot
Mispanic Hispanic Suddenly realising that your flight is bound for Portugal
Historionic Histrionic A history account full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, to attract attention
Phive Hive A Four Beta Kappa
Hobsnail Hobnail Studded escargot
Hobox Hobo A vagrant's modest dwelling; a hoboxcar is his means of travel
Hoebo Hobo A homeless hooker
Hodgelodge Hodgepodge A cabin with too many additions
Woecake Hoecake A flour loaf accidentally baked without sugar
Mo-Ho-Ho Ho-Ho-Ho The traditional Christmas greeting delivered by the Three Stooges
Hoity-Taity Hoity-Toity The comparative prestige of restaurants as measured by how they prepare their potatoes.
Home Hole A place to stash stuff while you go out and buy more stuff
Wholiday Holiday A national day off celebrating someone we know nothing about
Holindays Holidays What happens when you get sauced at Christmas
Holastic Holistic Synthetic material used in sphincter muscle replacements
Halogram Hologram A visual manifestation of a persons delusions of their own sanctity.
Yomage Homage Street greet for Houdini, Copperfield, et al
Homecombing Homecoming Vacuuming and raking
Romeopathy Homeopathy Treatment of disease by infinitesimal doses of tragic romance.
Tomeopathy Homeopathy Large book about alternative medicine
Domestead Homestead A geodesic house
Homeworn Homework Quarantine crazy
Homeicide Homicide Tearing the house down
Hominly Homily An amaizing sermon
Momily Homily A loving ode to one's mother.
Tomophobia Homophobia Fear of male adult cats.
Humosexual Homosexual A lover of chick-peas
Doneymoon Honeymoon A special vacation taken by a person soon after divorce proceedings who happily wants to celebrate the end of his/her marriage.
Honkyconk Honkytonk Bar where it resembles an WWF match
Goodwink Hoodwink Mark of skilled and experienced liar
Fooliganism Hooliganism Really just a synonym, but perhaps more accurate?
Loosegow Hoosegow Minimum security correction facility
Hooternanny Hootenanny A buxom babysitter
Shootenany Hootenanny Pistol-packin' Granny
Hup Hop A one-legged jomp
Horizontam Horizontal A poorly worn beret
Whormone Hormone A substance excreted during ovulation that compels women to hump anything that moves.
Hornest Hornet A conclave of veracious wasps
Shornet Hornet A clean-shaven wasp
Wornpipe Hornpipe An indicator of the need for plumbing repairs
Hororscope Horoscope Born under a bad sign
Shorrendous Horrendous Sea level areas face more frequent flooding because of Global Warming truths.
Whorrify Horrify Dedemurity
Whorrify Horrify The frightening (and sad) process by which child entertainers try to shed their youthful image as they enter adulthood by transforming their behavior and appearance into something more closely resembling sluts and man hoes.
Whorrifying Horrifying The act of sleeping with a terrifically high number of people.
Whorsehair Horsehair Stray hairs found on bedsheets in brothels.
Horsepowder Horsepower Prevents equine chafing
Shorticulture Horticulture Bonsai
Whorticulture Horticulture Principles and rules followed by practitioners of the special trade
Whorticulturist Horticulturist (n.) Fancy name for a pimp or madam.
Horstile Hostile Not taking neigh for an answer
Hostyle Hostile Women's fashion brand aimed at attracting rappers, drug dealers and bling
Hostelity Hostility Picketing the YMCA
Dubris Hubris Male clergy performing religious circumcision.
Hubrise Hubris Rise of Egomania -21st Century-Intense addiction to Social Media, Electronic devices, 24/7.
Shubris Hubris Excessive pride in one’s footwear.
Whubris Hubris Ascertaining the identity of a proud and arrogant person
Phug Hug A phone hug. A call made to say “I’m thinking of you.”
Hulabaloo Hullabaloo The uproar caused by a Hawaiian dancing bear in a grass skirt. Pandamonium
Hullabaloof Hullabaloo A loud disturbance, the noise of which the disturbers are utterly unconcerned
Whuman Human Genderally classified as Whomo Sapiens, in the intuitive band of wisdom's spectrum
Hunanitarian Humanitarian A Chinese philanthropist
Huemanity Humanity Kindness to people of all colors
Sumanity Humanity Assault on our basic rights.
Hamdinger Humdinger A really swell pig
Huemiliation Humiliation To be told inpublic that your socks don’t match
Himmus Hummus A guy who is full of beans and organic ones at that!
Humangous Humongous A large body of humans
Humorlesque Humoresque A written or musical composition completely devoid of capriciousness, fantasy, or whimsy
Tumoresque Humoresque Suffering from a severe condition but keeping a cheerful attitude
Humorus Humorous I sure try! (and succeed ! Ed.)
Humk Hunk One who is in an inbetween state – between being a hulk a hunk
Hurdl Hurdle A mental block while playing wordl
Hurdy-Curdy Hurdy-Gurdy A medieval wheel-driven harmonic instrument which simultaneously churns butter
Herricane Hurricane When a female becomes extremely angry.
Hubricane Hurricane A willy-willy with a twistered mindset
Hurlicane Hurricane Vomit speeds over 100 kph with wide coverage and possible threat to human life
Hurricake Hurricane Stir-fried bread
Hurricant Hurricane I am NOT dealing with this storm!
Hurrycane Hurricane A huge storm approaching rapidly
Shurt Hurt A Dire Straitsjacket
Husbank Husband A long suffering husband who continually finances his trophy wife’s outlandish spending habits
Mutterites Hutterites People who worship their mongrel dogs.
Whydrate Hydrate About 60% of human body is water.
Shydration Hydration Infusing one with humility
Hydroplan Hydroplane The Three Gorges Dam project
Whydroplane Hydroplane Check your tire treads to make sure that they can displace heavy road water.
Hydroplants Hydroplanes Water lilies
Hydropornic Hydroponic Of or similar to erotic media involving a swimming pool
Hydrophonics Hydroponics Words spoken under water
Bygiene Hygiene 2-way cleanliness
Gygiene Hygiene Raising the toilet seat
Hymny Hymn An open spire
Whymns Hymns Arbitrarily chosen songs of praise to a basket of deities
Lyperbole Hyperbole Exaggerated statements or claims not intended to be taken literally. Ooooops....looks like the definition fits both spellings!
Lyperbole Hyperbole Lying with great exaggeration
Shyperbole Hyperbole Reluctant to exaggerate.
Shyperbole Hyperbole Simultaneously wanting to boast about your escapades but embarrassed to do so
Typerbole Hyperbole Billions of unwanted texts
Hoyperbolic Hyperbolic Anything that goes over the heads of the hoi polloi
Hypesonic Hypersonic The din of television commercials
Whypertension Hypertension Everlasting questions relating to symptoms/causes of high blood pressure.
Hypenosis Hypnosis The trance-like state into which one descends after watching too many political campaign ads.
Lypnosis Hypnosis The act of placing people in a trance through the continual movement of your lips while saying nothing of meaning during the complete process.
Hypnochondriac Hypochondriac A person convinced they are sick all the time… by someone else.
Typochondriac Hypochondriac A person who is abnormally anxious about their spelling.
Hipocrisies Hypocrisies Trendy double standards
Hypeocrisy Hypocrisy The cynical promotion of tawdry products, artists or values for opportunistic motives.
Hypnocrisy Hypocrisy N. pretending to be asleep, when you are not.
Whypocrisy Hypocrisy Difficult to understand the reasons that those claiming to have moral standards and beliefs actually behave profoundly opposite.
Hipocrite Hypocrite When large animals pretend to be shy just before they charge you
Hypoteruse Hypotenuse Telling your friends the shortest route between two places is actually the longest route with no right turns.
Hypotinuse Hypotenuse Why you have to stand in line during an airplane flight
Hypathetical Hypothetical An argument based on a pathetic hypothesis
Hypathetically Hypothetically Imagined in way that rouses pity or sadness.
Mysterectomy Hysterectomy An operation where you've had something removed but you aren't sure what.
Hystaria Hysteria The exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion expressed during the soprano solo in an opera
Hosterical Hysterical Over-indulges guests
Idid Ibid An admission of culpability by a repeat offender
Niceland Iceland A large island full of lovely people
Icestray Icetray Runaway cube
Ickthyology Ichthyology The study of rotting fish
Ican Icon A tin god
Iconick Iconic Well known and distinctive for its awfulness
Iconoclash Iconoclast Disagreement over the merits of statuary
Liconoclast Iconoclast Someone who accepts only falsehoods, alternate realities and conspiracy theories
Iconoplastic Iconoclastic Being critical of cheap shoddy knockoffs
Didentical Identical Twins pass away of natural causes on the same day and time.
Indentification Identification A depression on an object that helps to identify it.
Idealogical Ideological Belief that whatever crap thought you come up with is rational and brilliant
Ideorogue Ideologue Proponent of an unexpected way
Hideology Ideology A system, often by a government, of deceit.
Idleology Ideology Lazy thinking
Hidiocy Idiocy Stupidity displayed to such a degree, that it be considered remarkably ugly
Hidioms Idioms Joy of finding the meanings hidden in such figurative language.
Idiotpathic Idiopathic Stupidity of unknown origin
Idiosyncrazies Idiosyncracies A particularly crazy peculiarity or characteristic of an individual or group
Idiotsyncracy Idiosyncracy Rule by politicians-anywhere of any stripe
Adiosyncratic Idiosyncratic Weird, but not really giving a damn what people think
Ediot Idiot People that quote other out of context.
Ideot Idiot A person whose ideology makes them stupid.
Ididot Idiot A fool-stop
Idiom Idiot Someone who can't even spell simple words
Idiota Idiot A dumb person who does not care one iota
Kidiot Idiot An adult without children who has no concept of what it takes to raise and police kids responsibly so that both he and others do not have to suffer through the consequences of his adult cluelessness; ex: an adult who lets a 4-year-old drink an entire frappuccino and then turns him loose in a mall, restaurant, or other public place.
Vidiot Idiot Person who records embarrassing, dangerous, goofy activities happening around them or at their instigation, and submits to internet sites
Idioptic Idiotic Someone so ignorant it causes you not to see straight
Kidiots Idiots Seventh graders after lunch
Iditabrod Iditarod The long race home over open country after having a one-night stand
Idollatry Idolatry Puppet worship
Wigloo Igloo Hairpiece adhesive.
Fignition Ignition A false start
Pignoble Ignoble Someone of stylish taste
Ignoramust Ignoramus One's drive to be stupidly unaware
Ignoranus Ignoramus What you do to someone who's being an ass.
Fignorance Ignorance When you are not quite sure what Isaac Newton discovered
Ignormance Ignorance Collective or widespread stupidity
Ignorgant Ignorant Taking pride in how much you don’t know. (“ignorant” + “arrogant”) Commonly found in … well, everywhere!
Ignorrant Ignorant A rant claiming to ignore its target.
Ignorunt Ignorant A stunted imbecile
Vignorant Ignorant Being vigorously stupid.
Igmore Ignore When your spouse's silent treatment goes longer than normal
Igsnore Ignore Take no notice of the grunting noises made by your sleeping
Iguano Iguana Lizard poop
Ikia Ikea A Swedish car which comes in 721 boxes with 1230 pages of diagrams and 3 simple tools
Nikea Ikea Michael Jordan’s furniture.
Elk Ilk A deer of a different ilk
Illgal Illegal A sick lady
Pillegible Illegible A doctor’s signature
Ilcliterate Illiterate Unversed in essential female anatomy
Illiterati Illiterate Those who believe so strongly in their inherently incorrect belieF that they post it online, and even in the face of irrefutable evidence still hold that position.
Illitirate Illiterate A person who argues loudly in a library despite the “Quiet” sign
Illogicalm Illogical Ability to maintain one's composure even though events are contrary to reason
Pillogical Illogical Confounding medication
Killustrious Illustrious The notoriety achieved by a serial killer.
Maginary Imaginary Of spells and potions
Impaginaton Imagination A mind-numbering experience
Dimbecile Imbecile An incredibly simple-minded person
Limbecile Imbecile A daft leg
Umbecile Imbecile A pre-natal idiot
Immensa Immense The pleasure you get when you play the wordplay game
Immensaly Immensely Extremely gifted intellectually
Immigraints Immigrants A headache for wall-eyed border officials
Dimmolate Immolate Use a match to check your remaining fuel
Dimmunity Immunity Resistant to stupidity
Himmunity Immunity The result of frequent activation of the Himmune system of a single woman as a result of frequently encountering creepy guys at social events, (see himnocculation), resulting in abandoning dating forever.
Himmutable Immutable Despite the efforts of the women in his life, guy unwilling or likely to change his difficult ways.
Immuteable Immutable Someone who doesn’t shut up and will never
Jimpair Impair Twin brothers both having the name James
Umpaired Impaired A one legged referee
Impatent Impatient Just missing out on that million dollar patent
Impreach Impeach Defrock
Impoachment Impeachment What is done to a politician who gets into hot water
Impreachment Impeachment Damned by his own sanctimonious words
Impeckable Impeccable Bird proof
Himpecunious Impecunious A broke bloke (Aussie vernacular) or a poor man.
Impecurious Impecunious Lacking in inquisitivity
Impetunious Impecunious One daisy short of a flower bed
Impedimen Impediment The uncanny ability of retired men to be in their wives’ way.
Limperial Imperial No heir...no spare
Limperious Imperious Attitude of a haughty hobbler
Impertubable Imperturbable A confident bass brass musician
Wimperturbable Imperturbable Insufficient dissent,anger, and action sadly fortells "Defeat".
Wimpetus Impetus Weak, incompetent being has zero incentive!
Implan Implant Establish a compulsury procedure or method
Implank Implant To be injured by a particularly large splinter
Limplant Implant Who forgot to water??
Himpolite Impolite Members of the male sex with exceedingly bad manners
Impoolite Impolite Faescetious
Implortant Important Serious enough to justify begging
Importank Important Mechanized cavalry purchased from another country
Impissible Impossible The sign taped to a broken urinal.
Impoossible Impossible A synonym for constipation
Impostible Impossible Hardpan ground
Ipossible Impossible Trust in one's abilities
Impotense Impotence An inability to write in the first person
Himpotent Impotent Acknowledgement of someone's elevated position
Impottent Impotent When your instant pot, after age and years of use, is unable to achieve a pressure; resulting in an inability to perform in the kitchen.
Pimpotent Impotent Procurers temporary office
Imprecaution Imprecation Judicious use of sugarnuggets
Empresario Impresario A lady impresario, majestic at that
Himprimatur Imprimatur Male's mark of approval for dating purposes
Himpromptu Impromptu Guy's unplanned, impulsive strategies to woo the gals.
Limpromptu Impromptu Loafer’s spur of the moment foot problem to avoid any and all essential physical activity.
Improbriety Impropriety Acting foolishly while intoxicated
Impdent Impudent What a hellion driver may cause
Impun Impugn Contest this contest
Dimpulsive Impulsive Instant conceptualization and actualization of a really stupid idea
Inadmassibility Inadmissibility Excommunicated
Inomorata Inamorata A woman with whom one is no longer in love
Insanity Inanity When you repeatedly quote the same trite expression, expecting a different outcome from your audience.
Incandecent Incandescent How we all look better in candlelight
Incandyscent Incandescent Sweet-smelling lightbulbs.
Incardescent Incandescent Thelma and Louise drop a long way out of sight.
Sincandescent Incandescent Acceptance of evil luster and privilege
Tincandescent Incandescent Emitting light meal when heated
Intapable Incapable Unable to use adhesive strips correctly……
Kincarcerate Incarcerate Prison sentences for crime family members
Infarcerated Incarcerated Trapped with bunch of buffoons
Incarseration Incarceration Getting something stuck in your bottom that you can't get out
Winchoate Inchoate Outer garment is first raffle prize.
Gincident Incident A situation that is either partially caused or exacerbated by overindulgence in alcohol.
Insinerator Incinerator Hellfire and brimstone
Kinclination Inclination Family resemblance
Kinclination Inclination Tendency to favor one's family and blood relations over others.
Incoherant Incoherent Believer of nonsense
Sincome Income Money earned while engaging in pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and/or sloth
Bincompetent Incompetent No longer competent
Pincompetent Incompetent Easy to remember and best secure password.
Inconclusnively Inconclusively Uncertain if someone is whining or not
Incongrous Incongruous Where politicians pass laws
Kincongruous Incongruous Black sheep of a family
Inconsequintial Inconsequential Meaningless sparkles and spangles
Inconsoldable Inconsolable Buyer's remorse
Inconsoleable Inconsolable Going into a deep depression because someone has stolen your favourite stereo system
Incomspicuous Inconspicuous Gaudily displaying one’s expensive acquisitions
Incontinents Incontinent Leaky land masses
Wincontinent Incontinent Adult diapers
Incorect Incorrect Something a little less than Perrfection
Sincrease Increase You increase doing something you know is wrong because it feels so good
Incredable Incredible Having the ability and skill to believe the impossible
Incredullity Incredulity Unbelievably boring
Incredulois Incredulous When you can't believe a word Superman's crazy ex-girlfriend says
Incrudulous Incredulous You can't believe how cruddy things are.
Inkubator Incubator A warming device for hatching baby squid
Kinculcate Inculcate Importance of strong family connections and values.
Sinculturation Inculturation The gradual acquisition of the wicked characteristics and norms of a culture or group by a person or another culture.
Indumbent Incumbent An incompetent elected public official
Indefratigable Indefatigable Tirelessly friendly
Windefatigable Indefatigable When you don't get tired of winning.
Indepedent Independent Rogue teacher
Indepedent Independent The person who sits next to you during the local Film Festival and tells you all about the plot nuances and the directors personal life story
Findicator Indicator Evidence of a shark
Indigenius Indigenous A brilliant native
Windigenous Indigenous Finally a tribute to our Native American culture and history.
Indiguestion Indigestion When you are sick of someone who always visits your house unannounced
Vindigestion Indigestion The result of eating too much spicy Vindaloo
Windigestion Indigestion Flatulence
Indigonation Indignation Nuclear fuchsian
Sindignation Indignation Caught red-handed 'in flagrante delicto' - on video & posted on FB
Windignation Indignation Feeling toward a meteorologist who failed to predict a damaging hurricane
Dindigo Indigo He still here?
Indingo Indigo Blue dog
Windigo Indigo To follow the breeze
Individuel Individual Arguing with yourself
Indivisual Individual Selfie
Indievisible Indivisible Having a notable role in a small film project
Indoctrinologist Indocrinologist A physician licensed to systematically teach a person or group of people to uncritically accept doctrines about the hormonal system
Indoctorination Indoctrination Bringing in an expert to speak on your behalf to push a product or idea
Sindolent Indolent Slothful; very very slothful
Indeuce Induce What you do to cure constipation.
Hindulgence Indulgence Gratification which goes against the tenets of a particular belief system
Windustry Industry A renewable energy business
Ginebriated Inebriated Too many martinis
Fineffable Ineffable Unbelievable shark sightings at local Atlantic Ocean beaches.
Ineffable Ineffible Not just sacred, f*g sacred
Binept Inept Used to be competent
Inerpt Inept Can't stand still
Ineptetude Ineptitude A study in musical dissonance
Inuxorable Inexorable Not to be persuaded to take a wife. Not yielding to marriage
Inexplacable Inexplicable Unreasoning anger
Infamouse Infamous A notorious rodent
Infactuated Infatuated Smitten by "alternative facts."
Infartuated Infatuated Amazing results after eating black-eye peas or pears.
Infateuated Infatuated An obsession with destiny.
Infantuation Infatuation An infantile infatuation for someone by a grown-up
Infatunation Infatuation Love of country
Inflatuation Infatuation Falling in love with your roommate
Inflatuation Infatuation An unhealthy love of beans
Inflectious Infectious Regarding an affected accent
Interiority Inferiority The virtues of being a hermit
Infernot Inferno Heaven
Unferno Inferno A very small fire, or anything that is “not so hot”
Infilthrate Infiltrate The proportional speed of surreptitiously adding grime
Infunite Infinite When the party never stops
Ginflammable Inflammable Yes, it is
Infliction Inflection That place on an exponential curve where it really starts to take off – indicating something dire is about to happen.
Influonecer Influencer A person who once posted 1 good idea in a blog and now just continues to post huge piles of nonsense instead of leaving well alone.
Sinfluencer Influencer A media activist who inspires naive followers to pursue goals that disconnect them from the natural dignity of human existence.
Influentza Influenza When someone who is able to fluently speak a particular language gets accused of something and then is suddenly stricken with the inability to understand or speak that language
Influenya Influenza While watching the "Orinoco Flow" video, I pushed my window open for some fresh air, and to my great shock....
Kinformant Informant One who snitches on their own family member
Infermation Information Implied knowledge
Informarion Information A medieval know-it-all.
Informotion Information Frantic hand gestures when you're trying to remember the word for something
Infurinating Infuriating Someone who makes you so angry that you pee your pants
Inginious Ingenious Something you thought was really clever when you were drunk.
Ingenueity Ingenuity N. creativity or innovation presented by an innocent young woman
Singlenook Inglenook Cozy and amorous spot for the dating crowd.
Zingot Ingot A clever retort that is good as gold.
Ingratifate Ingratiate A gift or favor that, while given with good intentions, causes problems or danger to the recipient. E.g., an old computer, or allowing someone to pass you on a curve or hill
Kingratiate Ingratiate Attempts to win favor of wealthy relatives for future inheritance.
Ingreedients Ingredients Recipe for investment bank collapse
Inhabitabale Inhabitable Living in a haystack
Inhauling Inhaling The corporate act of extracting blood from stones
Finhumane Inhumane Cruelty to or among merpeople
Vinitiate Initiate Open a bottle of wine to get the party started
Initiagive Initiative Motivation to donate to charity
Injurest Injures Motivation for ambulance-chasers
Finmate Inmate The shark who finds its way into your viewing cage
Innert Inner Stuck inside and unable to do anything at all
Innocant Innocent Blameless jargon
Innoculous Innocuous An inoffensive jab
Innuendom Innuendo Risque mitigator
Innuengo Innuendo What a doctor does with a rectal thermometer.
Innuendose Innuendos What the doctor writes on your prescription, to tell the pharmacist the strength and size of the medication he's going to insert in your anal orifice.
Ginquest Inquest Preparation before the matter is examined by a jury.
Kinquirer Inquirer That nosy aunt
Imquisition Inquisition Unrelenting questioning via text between parent and offspring
Iniquisitor Inquisitor An ultimate hypocrite
Inanity Insanity When you repeatedly quote the same trite expression, expecting a different outcome from your audience.
Insanitry Insanity Lost shit
Instanity Insanity A state of constant readiness
Invanity Insanity The opposite of diginity
Kinsanity Insanity Affliction suffered after family reunions
Insectincide Insecticide A method of natural pest control whereby bugs eat other bugs, resulting in insects inside other insects
Insexticide Insecticide The ultimate passion killer
Invecticide Insecticide Something you spray on tirades to kill them.
Incensitive Insensitive The inability to smell strong, smoky odors
Insensitiva Insensitive Medical grade marijuana that renders you completely incapable of feeling your own feet.
Incider Insider Apples
Inbidious Insidious Any individual who pleasures themself by bidding at auctions and leaving before the gavel strikes.
Insideious Insidious The gradual and harmful effect on your health of too much time spent indoors
Insagnificant Insignificant Aged person looking less "droopy".
Dinsistent Insistent Look at me. Look at me! LOOK AT MEEE!
Insumnia Insomnia Inability to sleep due to an audit
Sinsomnia Insomnia A lack of sleep caused by being up to no good all night long
Insumniac Insomniac Obsessive mathemetition
Kinsouciant Insouciant One's amazing relative who is always, calm, upbeat and carefree.
Unspiration Inspiration A person, event, or concept which provides no hope or motivation whatsoever
Binstagram Instagram Asocial media site where users post their "dump"
Inkstantaneous Instantaneous No sooner said than inscribed
Unstinct Instinct A product used after a trip to the gym
Cinstructions Instructions The instruction booklet that tells you how to construct children’s toys such as lego
Insnubordinate Insubordinate Scornful disobedience
Insubirdinate Insubordinate Fowl afoul
Insurferable Insufferable A curmudgeon who waives the rules
Instufficient Insufficient A paucity of generalities
Ginsult Insult Disparaging remark made by someone after one too many martinis
Incurance Insurance Chronic illness caused by the health care system
Inslurance Insurance Libel protection
Insurdance Insurance The two-step, jitterbug, twist that the recently uninsured do to get reinsured.
Insurgeonts Insurgents Rebel doctors
Inslurmountable Insurmountable Conversation stoppingly, jaw droppingly offensive
Ginsurrection Insurrection Bar fight
Integritty Integrity From the grinding of molars when it appears to be missing.
Antellectual Intellectual Adj. opposed to the use of the intellect or intelligence. n. such a person; fool; ignoramus
Gintellectual Intellectual Rummy
Pintelligence Intelligence One's system devised to create and recall awesome "personal identification number"
Inteligent Intelligent A microchip developer of the male gender
Interchangetable Interchangeable Any horizontal surface that you can both eat off and change nappies on
Intercourpse Intercourse Necrophilia
Intercurse Intercourse A sexually transmitted disease
Interedict Interdict Countermand
Interfearence Interference The act of wearing a tinfoil hat so that extra-terrestrial beings only hear static when listening to your thoughts.
Ginterferometer Interferometer Breathalyzer
Interjest Interject To suddenly halt a conversation by way of a funny remark.
Hinterlocutor Interlocutor The voice from the backwoods
Interlocustor Interlocutor Cricket commentator
Interdude Interlude Status awaiting declaration of success of transitioning surgery
Sinterminable Interminable Wonder what evil, horrific,chaotic crisis comes to mind???
Intermitten Intermittent A foreign object found in one's glove.
Intermittens Intermittent Hand coverings for burial
Intermittenly Intermittently Describing an irregular manual activity taking place while wearing mittens, e.g., she made snowballs intermittenly
Internot Internet The Internet you are getting when you are not getting online. Well-known in Australia as the NBN (No Bloody Network) - Remember 19th July 2024 as an example - Microsoft Cloud update Failure. Banks - No Money, Airlines- No Flights - Media - No News et.Al.
Internyet Internet Denial-of-service attack perpetrated by Russian hackers.
Interwet Internet When you spill your coffee on your computer.
Intertitial Interstitial Er, cleavage?
Intecstacy Intestacy Knowing the old fart ran out of time to exclude you from inheriting any part of the estate
Kintestines Intestines Organ sometimes shared by Siamese twins
Hintimacy Intimacy Suggesting foreplay
Instimacy Intimacy The act of seeking instant or immediate closeness with a desired object without taking the time to cultivating the deep knowledge or understanding needed for true intimacy.
Antimate Intimate Bedtime headache medication
Fintimates Intimates Making fishy insinuations
Gintolerance Intolerance Possessing a leather liver
Intollerance Intolerance Outrage at exorbitant fee charged to cross bridge
Wintoxicant Intoxicant Euphoric joy of success.
Intaxicated Intoxicated Getting drunk after paying off the government on April 15.
Intrinsigent Intransigent Innately immovable
Sintrepid Intrepid Sheer boldness of evil-doers.
Intrigut Intrigue The esophageal sphincter
Kintrigue Intrigue Curiosity or suspicion about one’s “family tree”
Sintrinsic Intrinsic One’s essential evil being.
Introdiction Introduction Presentation of a training course on how to pronounce words.
Sintroduction Introduction First go at life's vices
Wintuition Intuition Earning a merit- or talent-based scholarship
Inumdate Inundate Every buck’s dream evening out?
Nundate Inundate ...but only furtively!
Ginundated Inundated Verwhelmed with G&Ts
Invasian Invasion When your favorite burger joint is replaced by a Chinese restaurant
Pinvasion Invasion Your computer has been hacked!!!
Dinvective Invective Extremely noisy abusive verbal attack.
Insective Invective A tirade against insects.
Inveagle Inveigle Entice a large bird of prey in order to capture it.
Invenstory Inventory The number of books in a library.
Invertebrat Invertebrate A spoilt fellow but spineless if confronted.
Infestigate Investigate To ruin by being nosy
Investidate Investigate To obtain background information about a potential suitor, particularly through the use of the Internet
Incestigation Investigation The police are looking into a family's issues.
Investication Investigation Experimental pharmaceutical
Inverstment Investment As a Noun: Inverstment, (n): The verst investment I ever made.
As a Verb: Inverst, (v): buying a stock that really sucks.
Sinvestment Investment Purchase of an interest in an adult entertainment establishment
Infestments Investments Investments that go against the common good
Pinvincible Invincible Incredible setup that literally cannot be hacked nor penetrated.
Invitatonal Invitational In life, at least 85% of meaning comes from how you say it!
Invacation Invocation Summoning the spirit to leave work for a spell
Dinvoice Invoice Receiving a bill from your landlord because of those noisy parties you keep having
Invorce Invoice The email received from a former spouse demanding an alimony payment of a certain amount by a certain date.
Tiota Iota A very small Japanese car.
Ipaid Ipad A complete personal collection of ITouch, IPhone, and IPad
Iphoney Iphone What you call someone when they try to seel you fake Apple products
Iprone Iphone Tending to shop for electronic equipment at an Apple store
Erascible Irascible The ability to remove angry written words
Iraqscible Irascible High tension situation in the Middle East
Girate Irate Spin about madly
Virate Irate The mood you are in when you realize your computer has a virus.
Iradescent Iridescent When your retirement fund is losing value.
Airish Irish Celtic pilots
Ironery Ironer Creaseless ascerbity
Iranic Ironic Happening in the opposite way to what is expected when dealing with Iran
Irreducable Irreducible Adj. When you have already limited your cable subscription to the fewest stations possible in an attempt to save money.
Irrestistible Irresistible The inability to fight off taking a break from work especially when one knows it is a bad idea.
Iresponsibility Irresponsibility Anger self-management
Irrigtation Irrigation A farmer who gets mad because his water has been cut off
Itsocracy Isocracy Sadly, not ever probable nor possible!!!
Isilate Isolate The strategy employed by the UN Security Council to cut off the Islamic State’s connections to international financial and economic markets
Isotropes Isotopes Neutrons with disunited notions
Missue Issue Affectionate words exchanged between loved ones when they are apart.
Pissue Issue An issue that really pisses you off.
Ussues Issues Issues shared or inherited by virtue of being in a commited relationship.
Idemize Itemize Assign priorities on a bucket list
Biterated Iterated Taste-tested
Pithyphallic Ithyphallic Descriptive of a gentleman who is both short and erect
Witinerant Itinerant East coast circuit for traveling comedians
Itinerarey Itinerary A route seldom explored
Jack-Of-All-Tirades Jack-Of-All-Trades Someone who is angry at everybody and lets them know it
Jackplot Jackpot A plan to steal a car.
Jailery Jailer Ornamental handcuffs
Jalapeñot Jalapeño What you say to someone when they ask you if you want jalapeños or not
Galopy Jalopy Woman not aging well physically, emotionally and cognitively.
Jaloopy Jalopy An old car that travels only in circles
Jamborlees Jamborees A large group of Belgian track stars. *Note -there is a family named Borlee in Belgium who are all international track stars
Jamitor Janitor Cleaning man with his earbuds in and his groove on
Januwary January Worry that the coldest month won't be Decembrr
Javalins Javelins Coffee injections
Jealoutsy Jealousy A lout wth a jealous heart
Zealousy Jealousy Fervent insecurity
Jellywish Jellyfish Aspiration of a highly indecisive person.
Geopardy Jeopardy Jeopardy caused by a loss of sense of direction
Leopardy Jeopardy What is a feline trivia game show?
Jereboa Jereboam A large snake trapped in a gas can
Perkwater Jerkwater Availability of clean water benefits the world.
Jerksey Jersey A jacket for people who are inconsiderate
Jetlog Jetlag The slowing down of one's bowels after being on a long international flight
Jetliver Jetliner Worst meal ever served on a flight
Juggliest Jiggliest First AND second place winners in the wet T-shirt contest.
Pockstrap Jockstrap A pimple bra
Jockularity Jocularity Locker room humor
Jouler Joule A lapidarist who works exclusively with gemstones weighing precisely 0.239 carats
Journap Journal Daily doze
Jubilatte Jubilate Rejoicing over coffee
Judgrental Judgmental Picky about where you live.
Judiciairy Judiciary A light sentence
Buggernaut Juggernaut Annoying unstoppable mosquito.
Huggernaut Juggernaut Importance of kindness and affection as a major unstoppable force.
Jaggernaut Juggernaut A certain rock star amounts to nothing.
Joggernaut Juggernaut To jog or not to jog!
Jugglernaut Juggernaut An overwhelming and unusually destructive sideshow act
Jumbop Jumbo The pachyderm prom
Pungle Jungle The dense floridity of additional meanings
Funket Junket Joy and delight at being rewarded a free trip anywhere.
Junkit Junket A box of stuff you have no use for
Sunket Junket High end glorious tropical vacation compliments of "friends" anticipating substantial "quid pro quo" rewards.
Punoesque Junoesque Stately ability to create humorous/clever words for WPMI.
Punta Junta The council on wordplay
Juriesprudence Jurisprudence A young lady who is available for long serving juries and takes care of all their needs
Jurisrudence Jurisprudence The study of unrefined barristry
Jursy Jury What one wears to a trial
Bustification Justification Rationalization for augmentation
Justifry Justify A single french fry all by itself
Justapose Juxtapose Photographers decide on whether formal or spontaneous setups will achieve their desired results.
Juxtaprose Juxtapose Place two different paragraphs side by side on the screen of your computer
Tuxtapose Juxtapose Attempt to create unique formal ensemble with contrasting parts.
Kabook Kaboom A tome with a violent surprise ending
Kakaesque Kafkaesque Weird s***
Lafkaesque Kafkaesque Amused by inaccurate recent political remarks.
Kwaiser Kaiser Ruler of a river in Thailand
Karikaze Kamikaze Karaoke that is so bad it makes you want to kill yourself
Kandaha Kandahar Laugh track for Afghan TV
Mangaroo Kangaroo A comical wallaby
Bangaroos Kangaroos Australian secret weapons
Kaplow Kapow A furrowed haymaker
Faraoke Karaoke Preference to see and hear such performing far and far away!!
Karawoke Karaoke Activist sing-along tracks
Taraoke Karaoke Delay in leaving because you’re looking for lost key.
Caren Karen A bitch who cares
Carma Karma Used car salesman’s comeuppance.
Karmap Karma Guide to getting what you deserve
Katydud Katydid Soundless mute insect.
Kakyak Kayak A crappy rowboat
Cerfuffle Kerfuffle A commotion due to restricted/prohibitive movement, especially during a lockdown
Herfuffle Kerfuffle Commotion and scandal resulting from gal’s inappropriate behavior/speech.
Krouac Kerouac A deadbeat poet
Kenoacidosis Ketoacidosis The burning sensation in your stomach from wagering by choosing numbers from 1 through 80 and losing
Kegpie Kewpie A pudgy doll that gets drunk and goes streaking
Keybard Keyboard Used for writing great poetry
Kuibble Kibble What cats and dogs do this when they don’t like their dry food.
Kibbutznike Kibbutznik Communal running shoes
Fibitzer Kibitzer One whose unwanted comments are 100% falsehoods
Kiposh Kibosh Making the wrong fashion statement
Skibosh Kibosh Winter accident ended one's favorite sport.
Kickboxling Kickboxing A martial artist in training
Kidnaped Kidnapped Taken by the scruff of the neck
Kindnapper Kidnapper A man who takes people hostage and gives them presents and takes them to movies and then lets them go home
Krilled Killed A violent end to a planktonic relationship
Cilter Kilter Out of cilter - not finding something where you expected it to be
Kiter Kilter Out of kilter and feeling soar
Kimcheep Kimchee The noise pickle pots make when the fermentation starts
Kimchen Kimchen A culinary area set aside specifically for Korean food
Kimosable Kimosabe A weasel sidekick's heroic partner
Kimosabeer Kimosabee Lone Ranger Lager
Cindergarten Kindergarten The first level of education for aspiring firefighters
Kindergarden Kindergarten A park in Germany where they grow small, polite children from seeds
Kindread Kindred Fear of siblings
Kingdum Kingdom A country of stupid people
Klipper Kipper A type of frozen fish that Ancient Phoenicians were reputed to have used to comb their hair
Hismet Kismet A gent welcomes as Destiny, meeting his everloving, everlasting partner.
Kissmet Kismet It was meant to be that you kissed on the first date.
Mismet Kismet The Kismet resulting from culpabiliy, misadventures, mistakes or unintended consequences
Kitschen Kitchen A really ugly kitchen
Keptomaniac Kleptomaniac Thief who refuses to fence anything he steals
Kleptomanic Kleptomaniac The condition of being intoxicated with the joy of stealing
Klondive Klondike A polar bear plunge
Kneecape Kneecaps Pantaloons
Knellt Knell Compliance when tolled to genuflect
Snockers Knockers The large breasts of a drunken woman.
Knewledge Knowledge All that stuff you've ever forgotten
Nowledge Knowledge The facts and information that can be instantly accessed with one cell phone
Snowledge Knowledge Skill set needed for winter driving
Knowledgeabile Knowledgeable The substance responsible for absorbing intellect
Coala Koala What those cuddly little marsupials in Australia drink on a hot summer day
Dkoi Koi Obviously a load of carp, but alluring nevertheless
Sookaburra Kookaburra A warren of whining rabbits
Bowtow Kowtow Grovelling while standing upright and not doing a curtsey.
Draken Kraken Giant mythological duck that is the supposed source of whirlpools in civic ponds
Kronerf Kroner A spongy Scandinavian coin
Kryptone Krypton The sound of a rare atmospheric gas
Kraptonite Kryptonite The word that describes the super-power others use to push the buttons that make you crazy
Kudose Kudos A good measure of glory.
Kudosu Kudos A numbers game for people who can’t spell, but deserve credit for trying
Blaboratory Laboratory The place where speech therapists work.
Babyrinth Labyrinth The indecipherable mind of a newborn.
Flabyrinth Labyrinth The pattern created by the folds of your belly fat
Lachrymost Lachrymose Just cant stop crying
Lackadaisycal Lackadaisical Not showing enough enthusiasm, for the lack of a daisy.
Slackadaisical Lackadaisical Adj., too lazy to take interest
Lackbluster Lackluster Definitely not so in today's autocratic rhetoric!
Plackluster Lackluster Negative effects on one's wellbeing because of cardiac blockages.
Lackonic Laconic A dearth of effusiveness
Latonic Laconic Quiet meds
Factate Lactate When a woman recites endless studies about breastfeeding superiority
Elactation Lactation An infant's joy at breastfeeding
Plaggard Laggard Someone displaying a small sign of enthusiasm
Flakefront Lakefront The frosted side of the cereal
Leme Lame A lame meme
Lamend Lament Cry and make up
Rament Lament The deep sorrow accompanying over-boiled noodles
Tam-I-Nation Lamination Scotland
Limpoon Lampoon Ineffective satire
Lampshame Lampshade The inability to afford nice interior lighting, leaving you stuck with your parents ƒÂƒ ‚‚ ƒÂ‚ ‚“vintage pieces"
Glandmark Landmark Noteworthy endocrinologist.
Landscraper Landscaper Ploughman
Landescaping Landscaping Land erosion
Landscraping Landscaping Raking on one end of the spectrum, strip mining on the other, bulldozing somewhere in between
Langhead Langmead Doug’s dazzling dome
Langmeal Langmead The slowest eater
Langmeal Langmead A choice offering from a regular WPM entrant
Langmed Langmead Sedative advised for the judge of WPM Invitational 2021
Clanguage Language Dialect
Fanguage Language The dialect spoken by vampires.
Lainguage Language Pillow Talk
Manguage Language Speech entirely devoid of ambiguity, but nonetheless open to willful misinterpretation
Slanguage Language 1} Words used by folks that can’t join Mensa
Languide Languid Lazy tour guide
Manguid Languid Name for guy on first date for dinner at your home and the dude sits on the couch while you do the dishes.
Languodrous Languorous How a lazy person smells
Planyard Lanyard Landscape architect.
Lapinary Lapidary Carvings of rabbits
Farcenous Larcenous A burglar who specializes in stealing scripts of old Feydeau plays
Farceny Larceny Comedic plaegirism
Larsceny Larceny Upstaging the other actors
Largasse Largesse The generous gift of junk food
Plark Lark A ground-dwelling bird that can climb walls.
Clarynx Larynx Ahem
Lasagnag Lasagna Someone who expects pasta casserole several times a week
Lascivicous Lascivious Lustful thoughts during a Civics class
Lassietude Lassitude Canine apathy
Lassitide Lassitude A wave of weariness
Lessitude Lassitude N., similar to lassitude, only worse.
Latte Late Fashionably unpunctual with an attitude
Lattex Latex A rubberized uniform worn by Starbucks employees
Fatitude Latitude Insouciance regard being 20 pounds overweight
Flatitude Latitude A tendency to think all is OK when you sing out of tune
Lattrine Latrine The absolute worst cup of coffee you have ever had
Flaudable Laudable Unworthy of kudos due to imperfections.
Flaudatory Laudatory Inaccurate praise for those deserving of only scorn and disdain.
Plaudatory Laudatory Expressing praise chiefly through clapping or overt public approval rather than words.
Claughter Laughter Inappropriate giggling disguised by an artificial coughing fit
Maunderette Launderette Coin-operated washing machines which drift during the spin cycle
Launderomat Laundromat A place for cleansing illegal cash
Laundromate Laundromat A squeaky clean partner.
Laundromut Laundromat Rinse Tin Tin
Lawndry Laundry When clothes hung outside to dry end up on the grass.
Lavander Lavender The sweet smell after a volcanic eruption
Flaw Law Abnormally long arms
Flawman Lawman A policeman with a long arm
Layman Lawman A male prostitute
Pawnmower Lawnmower Things are getting tough in the suburbs
Lawnsuit Lawsuit Summer wardrobe
Lowyer Lawyer A Pro bono attorney
Lawyerding Lawyering Attorney’s absurdly excessive fee
Taxative Laxative A pill that increases the amount and frequency of the taxes one pays
Glazy Lazy A reason to be fired
El-Dopa L-Dopa A 1950s slapstick comedy film set in Spain starring Jerry Lewis.
Leadenship Leadership Skewardship
Leadersh*T Leadership The result of promoting a person with no management skills to a management position, especially if that person is your idiot cousin
Pleaf Leaf Copf
Bleap Leap What the drill sergeant said when he ordered his squad to "Quick March" on the 28th February and they didn't move for a whole day
Leashing Leasing The act of tethering an individual to rental payments for a year or more
Leecherous Lecherous Blood-sucking Lothario.
Lectionairy Lectionary Light liturgical readings
Sleering Leering This is when a person leers at a sleeping person.
Leptover Leftover The smallest quark that can be saved for later use
Clefty Lefty Bifurcated, but not ambidextrous
Negacy Legacy The moral, spiritual, or financial defecit left behind by a careless, corrupt or self absorbed predecessor or leader
Ledgerdemain Legerdemain Sleight of hand with company ledger
Legerdeman Legerdemain A person who excels in telling light lies
Legerdomain Legerdemain Magician’s castle
Legow Lego A description of the pain felt after stepping on a piece of Lego.
Legames Legumes Playing footsie under the table
Llemur Lemur A spitting monkey
Leotard Leopard A dumb lion.
Lepadoptery Lepidoptery Falling in love with a butterfly and taking them into your family
Leprose Leprosy An infectious writing style
Plethargic Lethargic Adj., excessively sleepy
Cleverage Leverage To skillfully prevent corporate buzzwords from infiltrating marketing copy: "You really cleveraged that ROI white paper"
Levyrage Leverage A tax revolt
Loverage Leverage The act of using a man or a woman in a nefarious or ingratiating manner simply because you know that they are in love with you.
Levitrap Levitra The unfortunate consequence of mixing Levitra and tight blue jeans
Texical Lexical Special icons & symbols used to communicate by texting.
Laxicographer Lexicographer A lax word collector
Lexicongrapher Lexicographer One who passes off new words as his own coinages
Lewxicography Lexicography The creation of words by Lewis Lenard
Laxicon Lexicon A book of partial or incomplete references
Lexcon Lexicon A well-read prison inmate
Loxicon Lexicon Special word for smoked salmon.
Flexography Lexography Doing calisthenics while compiling a dictionary
Gliberal Liberal An insincere left-leaning politician
Limberal Liberal Agile simple answer dodger
Liverate Liberate What cirrhosis did
Glibido Libido Feeling smug about your intimate performance.
Labido Libido Pharmaceutically enhanced desire
Libidno Libido Frigid
Libidoc Libido Sex therapist
Libarian Librarian A nudist with books
Plibrarian Librarian A penny-dreadful bibliopothecary
Liebrary Library A historic presidential legacy
Licée Lice A French high school for parasitic insects that crib for crabs in order to get a head.
Legature Ligature A politician who is tied to his/her work
Ligh Light The ‘low-high’ temperature record for a given day
Lieability Likeability A new type of Insurance that is needed worldwide to protect politicians
Lilliputin Lilliputian Petite Russian leader
Slimburger Limburger A sandwich made without meat, cheese, or bread
Limbade Limeade Sap
Slimelight Limelight A place where many seeking fame end up
Limerisk Limerick The chance you have of being taken to HR for repeating that dirty poem that you heard
Slimericks Limericks Bulimic pentameters
Limbp Limp A wooden leg that's half an inch too short.
Timpid Limpid A small soggy donut marketed by a Canadian corporation
Lioned Lined A tiger of a different stripe
Linert Liner A decommissioned cruise ship
Flingerie Lingerie Overly showy and uncomfortable undergarments worn on a 1st date in case you hook up
Lingeries Lingerie The last couple to leave a party
Longerie Lingerie Lacy feminine union suits
Linguest Linguist Visiting professor expert in languages
Blinguistics Linguistics Jewel jargon
Blinguistics Linguistics A manner of speaking that indicates one’s wealth
Clinguistics Linguistics Never forsaking the mother tongue
Flinguistics Linguistics Flirtatious banter
Inkedin Linkedin Job site for tattoo artists
Alions Lions A little green pride
Lipslick Lipstick The mark left on a woman's coffee cup
Lispstick Lipstick Popsicle stick treatment for lisping. Side effects are weight gain and tongue slivers.
Sipstick Lipstick N. lipstick left on the rim of a coffee cup
Lip-Stync Lip-Sync An exceptionally poor performance of trying to match live facial expression to a recorded song. (Best examples can be seen in every Macy's Day Parade)
Liquefly Liquefy To swat a fly in such a manner that its insides splash everywhere
Sliquid Liquid Better-designed pound note
Fliquor Liquor At least one of the ingredients in a flaming cocktail
Lustening Listening Hearing an ulterior motive.
Lustening Listening Longing to hear a particular sound
Lusterine Listerine A very special mouthwash that raises your libido as it cleanses your mouth
Lisping Listing Leaning to thleft or thright
Kitany Litany List of reasons of those who believe cats are smarter than dogs.
Biterati Literati Upset from making the lowest score in the art appreciation class.
Litterature Literature Trashy novels
Titerature Literature Banned classic novels published by Olympia Press
Blithium Lithium An element of indifference
Slitigate Litigate Break through a fence and get legally charged.
Elitre Litre Members of the affluidic metricocracy
Bittle Little A little snippet of information to kick things off
Lieturgical Liturgical Untruths told in church.
Livelyhood Livelihood Adds life to dreary livelihood.
Loverpool Liverpool A harem
Liverpuddlian Liverpudlian Splashing around the backstreets of a large British city after a rainstorm
Aloaf Loaf Upper crust - a cut above the rest
Slobbyist Lobbyist An unkempt persuader
Lowbotomy Lobotomy Time for a visit to Weight Watchers
Mobotomy Lobotomy Getting rid of the brains of the Mafia
Blobster Lobster An obese and comatose sunbather
Jobster Lobster Employment service for crustaceans
Slobsters Lobsters Those folks who refuse to wear the little plastic bibs that seafood restaurants provide
Blockdown Lockdown Bricklayers calls for strike action
Locksdown Lockdown The passage of months since the last haircut
Slocked Locked This is your front door when you arrive home drunk
Locomaotion Locomotion The crazed pace with which Mao Tse-tung uprooted China from its traditional agrarian past
Locopotion Locomotion This stuff will send you crazy.
Cocomotive Locomotive A palm tree on the go
Locost Locust Bargain price plague
Lidestone Lodestone Anti-Truth, the dystopian magnetic force of some today
Loudge Lodge Frat house
Lagin Login Procrastinate
Blogjam Logjam An onslaught of entries or comments in an online conversation resulting in deadlock; a virtual impasse
Logomacho Logomachy Fisticuffs over verbiage; manly wordsmithing
Flogorrhea Logorrhea Prevalent negative demeaning talk of today.
Lol Lol Funniest song The Kinks ever recorded
Lollipot Lollipop Halloween basket
Lollygar Lollygag A lazy bonefish
Longlevity Longevity Laughing off the years
Longitue Longitude The day between Longimon and Longiwed
Plongitude Longitude An elaborate but obvious lie, neither an antonym or synonym of platitude , but rather the worlds first use of a rangonym due to the right angle aspects
Aloofah Loofah Self-absorbent
Cloonies Loonies Very good looking madmen
Liquacious Loquacious Over-talkative due to an excess of alcohol
Liquacious Loquacious Talkative while spitting
Lonquacious Loquacious Excessive talker has no one to talk to nor listen.
Lonquacious Loquacious Solitary folk who enjoy lively conversations with themselves.
Loquatious Loquacious A person who endlessly talks about exotic fruit.
Woquacious Loquacious One's negative reaction after interaction with Motormouth.
Lothargio Lothario A lazy lover
Slothario Lothario Lazy seducer of women
Slothario Lothario A lazy lover
Clottery Lottery The gamble you take with every double bacon cheeseburger
Lootus Lotus Flower that blooms only at Australian outhouses
Louverse Louvers Poem about slatted shutters
Loke Love You are in a relationship that is more than friends
Lovert Lover Wearing your heart on your sleeve
Loobricant Lubricant Substance that some people use when they are constipated.
Lucit Lucid Loss of clear perception and judgment.
Lucifir Lucifer Alpine tree of good luck
Luftwaiffe Luftwaffe 1] An orphan airforce
Laggage Luggage Suitcases that miss their connecting flight and arrive days later at their original destination.
Lugeubrious Lugubrious Wallowing in misery and going downhill fast
Slumberjack Lumberjack A logger who will not last long in the business
Fluminous Luminous A brilliant feeling derived from evading negative consequences as a result of feigning illness in order to escape commitments or responsibilities (a.k.a. The Ferris Bueller Effect)
Slummox Lummox A clumsy, uncultured fellow from the poor side of town
Clunacy Lunacy Crazy about George Clooney
Lunartic Lunatic Driven mad by the moon
Lunattic Lunatic Where stargazers sit to see the moon
Runch Lunch Lunch on the run
Bunette Lunette Sandwich in the shape of a half moon
Luxurinant Luxuriant A compulsive luxurinator
Luxurinate Luxuriate The delightful feeling one has when finally getting to relieve one’s self after a long wait in a restroom line
Luxorious Luxurious Spending a Lot (see book of Genesis) on your wife
Luxory Luxury A visit to the Valley of the Kings in the absence of tour groups and hawkers.
Lycranthropy Lycanthropy Becoming a werewolf in spandex
Lunch-Mob Lynch-Mob People who hang around the buffet table
Slynx Lynx A carnivore that tracks its prey by sliding on its stomach very slowly
Blyrical Lyrical Enough to bring tears to your eyes
Macademia Macadamia Nutty professors
Macroni Macaroni Curved tubular French pasta
Mancaroni Macaroni Slang: n. the offending male appendage, characteristically afflicted with Peyronie's disease
Cacaroon Macaroon A meringue cookie with suspect contents
Mccaw Macaw A Scottish parrot
Macbreth Macbeth Student-day halitosis
Machiiavellian Machiavellian Aircrafty – at twice the speed of sound
Smachinations Machinations Deliberately cruel plotting
Hadagascar Madagascar ...then got Madatgascar because of high fuel costs and switched to electric.
Emaelstrom Maelstrom What you find in your inbox most mornings
Mailstrom Maelstrom When a postal delivery truck overturns in high winds
Mailstrom Maelstrom The powerful current, running against your life, once you realize that your mail is being stolen.
Maffia Mafia Criminal knitwork
Magazone Magazine Similar to the Twilight Zone, "the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge."
Megazine Magazine Lengthy illustrated periodical
Ragazine Magazine The National Enquirer, The New York Post, et al.
Magaenta Magenta Political purple rage
Magicall Magical Congratulations! You've won the lottery!
Wagical Magical Dog's show of devotion
Madician Magician A mentally challenged magician
Malician Magician Illusionist whose assistant is actually sawn in two
Maganimous Magnanimous Marked by pettiness, vindictiveness, or refusal to forgive, especially when directed at perceived opponents; The opposite of magnanimous, often expressed with ideological or tribal justification.
Magmanimous Magnanimous Describing a noble and generous volcano
Magnanamous Magnanimous Generous grandmother
Wagnanimous Magnanimous Dog’s intense display of joy and friendliness.
Magnesiac Magnesia Addicted to antacid
Mugnetic Magnetic Attracted to huge cups
Wagnetometer Magnetometer The measure of a dog's happiness
Magnetrans Magnetrons They have a way of attracting the little kindergartners’ attentions
Magnififence Magnificence Word describing the awesome fence you just built that makes the whole neighborhood jealous
Magnifiscent Magnificent Irresistible fragrance or aroma emanating from the object of one’s desire
Nagnify Magnify To repeatedly exaggerate your spouse’s faults
Wagnitude Magnitude The broadest measurable swing of a dog's tail
Magnun Magnum A convent's daily wine allocation
Mahogmany Mahogany New Year's Teak
Manogany Mahogany Long-term commitment to one dark wood
Fakeover Makeover When your beauty consultant invites you to your favorite makeup counter for a makeover from their national makeup artist which doesn’t quite achieve the desired effect.
Makoy Mako A Charlatartan Shark, not the real McCoy
Maladroid Maladroit Sith Lord Darth Revan's HK-47 Jedi hunter/assassin.
Maltadroit Maladroit Clumsily drink beer, i.e., runs down one's chin
Paladroit Maladroit That awkward friend
Saladroit Maladroit Limp lettuce
Mallaise Malaise A general feeling of ill being physically and mentally caused by spending too much time and money at the malls
Malagropism Malapropism Inappropriate touching
Malepropism Malapropism Stupid shit men say
Malpropism Malapropism Poor use of props in a play
Mailcontent Malcontent Steaming open your neighbor's mail before returning it to his mailbox
Mailcontent Malcontent Overjoyed by what the postman brings
Mallcontent Malcontent A good days shopping
Emale Male An emancipated man of letters
Palefactor Malefactor Pigmentation (or lack of it)
Malevelent Malevolent Evil, but not overdoing it
Maleviolent Malevolent Helicopter mom's description of High School football.
Malfeaseance Malfeasance A medium to expose corrupt politicians
Malfeastance Malfeasance Pilfering a work colleague's lunch from the break room refrigerator
Malseasance Malfeasance Wrongful acts during specific times of the year.
Maltfeasance Malfeasance Paddy limiting himself to only one pint.
Malpeasant Malfeasant A sick yokel
Malllard Mallard Food court cooking fat
Smallet Mallet Tiny hammer
Mallnutrition Malnutrition A vitamin deficiency caused by frequent visits to shopping center "food courts"
Maleodorous Malodorous A man smelling badly
Maleodorous Malodorous The aroma in men’s locker room
Mailpractice Malpractice Showng a lack of e-tiquette in minding an email account
Mandastory Mandatory Required reading.
Pandolin Mandolin An armoured bear – a cross between a panda and a pangolin
Mangoled Mangled Crushed by intense tropical fruitfall
Maniacalf Maniacal Young psychopathic bovine
Manicootti Manicotti Nasty germs particularly afflicting men
Manicwrist Manicurist Psychoses of the articulative joints connecting forearm and hand
Manipurist Manicurist A manicurist who only uses free market, organic and sustainable nail care products.
Manipesto Manifesto Italian cookbook
Mamipulation Manipulation Playing with the puppies
Matipulation Manipulation Techniques employed by serving personnel to
Mannerquin Mannequin A model of appropriate behavior
Mamoeuvring Manoeuvring Perfecting the manly art of consensual bra hook manipulation
Mansuedude Mansuetude When the curmudgeon of the neighborhood sues the cool dude next street over
Manufractured Manufactured A famous English soccer team that is being broken up because of its great success
Manufractured Manufactured States the condition of a damaged product you receive that you ordered online.
Manufracturer Manufacturer Industrial hit-man.
Macacas Maracas A pair of poop rattles
Marathin Marathon A diet based on running 26.2 miles a day
Marathong Marathon How your underwear feels after running 26.2 miles
Barigold Marigold Flower-shaped ingot
Warina Marina Where submarines and battleships are parked
Marinaria Marinara A saucy little song
Marionating Marinating Flavoring of meat by dipping it in sauce using strings and a paddle
Marritime Maritime A wedding on board a ship
Smarmalade Marmalade Unctious, unseville talk.
Smarmot Marmot An obsequious little rodent, often found in politics
Marshfallow Marshmallow Uncultivated swampland
Marsoupial Marsupial Bisque de Kangaroo
Marsoupial Marsupial Like a kind of soup served on Mars
Martyre Martyr Sacrificial rubber
Smartyrdom Martyrdom Sacrificing, to your spouse, your need to be right
Marvelois Marvelous Where Superman's crazy ex-girlfriend went when she left DC comics
Basquerade Masquerade A party for people of the Pyrenees
Assaging Massaging Wrinkles on your butt? Just shows you're getting older!
Masheuse Masseuse Massage therapist who reduces clients to a limp pulp
Mastictomy Mastectomy The removal of putty from around a window pane
Masterlay Masterly Great sex!
Fasterpiece Masterpiece Digitally and more quickly conceived.
Emasticate Masticate Eschew
Fasticate Masticate To chew without eating
Massticate Masticate Slowly chewing the Communion Wafer
Mastodont Mastodon Why those big creatures went extinct
Masterbate Masturbate To jump around at Augusta National Golf Course while playing with balls
Massturbation Masturbation A bunch of people enjoying themselves
Mataerial Material Matter existing in the air
Meaterialism Materialism Craving protein
Bathematics Mathematics Where Archimedes did his best work
Matrimorial Matrimonial The celebration of one's wedding anniversary
Matrimany Matrimony Involving several spouses
Matrimoney Matrimony Life's supreme motivation for a gold digger.
Mantress Mattress Masculine version of mistress
Muttress Mattress Where one can let sleeping dogs lie
Amatures Matures People transiting awkwardly into middle-age,with worse to come
Haudlin Maudlin Sad state of many who collect all kinds of worthless junk for years and years.
Mauied Mauled Attacked by fellow inmates at an Hawaiian prison
Mavent Maven Expert's essential advice is ignored,not heeded complain incessantly.
Maximice Maximize Very large rodents.
Maximom Maximum An overbearing helicopter mother
Naybe Maybe No
Bayonnaise Mayonnaise A condiment with a sharp aftertaste
Emaze Maze Derive smug satisfaction from solving computing glitches w/o resorting to calling neighbour's 14 yo
Maburka Mazurka A lively central-European dance with faces covered
Mcenrot Mcenroe The tendency of professional tennis players to actively envoke the progressive disintegration of their reputation for poor sportsmanlike behavior, thereby resulting in an escalating decay of their careers.
Mealibug Mealbug The insect that you expect to find in your Chinese carry out.
Meandher Meander (vb): Go for aimless stroll with wife
(n): Aimless stroll with wife
Teandering Meandering Deciding whether to drink either black, green or oolong teas.
Measurewent Measurement The directions that your body measurements go after the age of fifty
Meetless Meatless Social distancing
Mechantic Mechanic People who say they can fix your car, but don’t
Mechanicalf Mechanical [1] A small bovine automaton;
[2] offspring of a mechanical bull
Meditation Medication Cheaper than pills
Tedieval Medieval YouTube progam with speeches about the Middle Ages
Mediacre Mediocre Exactly .2023428 hectares of marginally productive land
Mediochre Mediocre Yellow pigment that just isn't trying hard enough
Heditate Meditate To pause and reflect prior to making a poor decision
Megitating Meditating Vegetating disguised as meditation
Medibation Meditation An action which renders one simultaneously calm and excited.
Medistation Meditation An area of the home used only for spiritual practices
Meadusa Medusa A besotted and snaky sorceress
Beerkat Meerkat That dude who keeps standing up on his barstool trying to find the bartender
Megadearth Megadeath What you find on supermarket shelves in socialist nations
Megalomanilac Megalomaniac Thinks he’s all powerful but just missing something
Megaphoney Megaphone A really really big fake.
Omegaphone Megaphone [1] The ultimate pocket communications device; [2] the apocryphal last trumpet
Meisterswinger Meistersinger A gigolo
Melauncholy Melancholy When I blast Oly into space
Meloncholy Melancholy That brief wave of depression when you realize you have scooped to far down and your last mouthful was all rind
Melogramatic Melodramatic Protracted despair at others’ grammatical errors
Melondramatic Melodramatic Fruit Opera
Malody Melody A song you’re sick of hearing
Memebership Membership Belonging to a group that connects via humorous images on the internet
Meame Meme A meme with feeling
Femorabilia Memorabilia The things that women save that men do not understand.
Momories Memories The warm and fuzzy feeling a mother gets looking ack on her kids' early years
Memorisk Memorise Trusting your memory regarding something important. E.G. I took a memorisk that I had turned off the gas before we left to go on our vacation.
Menace-A-Trois Menage-A-Trois Three guys with baseball bats
Amendacious Mendacious An apostate
Mentacity Mendacity A lie that goes without saying.
Mensingitis Meningitis Inflammation of brain caused by excessive brilliant thinking.
Mensopause Menopause The time in a person's life in which the mental cycle ends.
Mentopause Menopause Taking a break from eating all those mint candies.
Omenopause Menopause Alert to men – don't mess with your lady for the next year or so
Zenorah Menorah Celebration to extol principles of Zen movement
Densa Mensa An international organization for not-so-bright people
Mansa Mensa International organization of one really smart guy
Mensad Mensa A depressed guy whose intelligence scored in the top 3% of the population
Mensatruation Menstruation Bloody brilliance.
Omenu Menu A portent of potage and platters
Murcantile Mercantile Five-and-dime after a flood
Mercanary Mercenary [1] A penguin;
[2] a brightly-colored bird with a rifle and a canteen
Hercurial Mercurial Gal’s frequent changing moods.
Mercarial Mercurial Succumbing to a mid-life crisis
Smercurial Mercurial One who smirks along with a rather unpredictable mind and manner
Nerde Merde French math wizard
Meritricious Meretricious Attractive as well as meriful
Meritocrazy Meritocracy Organisation where people are promoted based on the basis of how crazy they act.
Peritocracy Meritocracy A government run by nymphs and faeries
Merlost Merlot Forgetting the way home after drinking too much red wine
Mermail Mermaid Postal delivery during a flood
Myshugana Meshugana Someone you love in spite of their being crazy.
Messrage Message Text message conveying annoyance
Metallurge Metallurgy Just gotta listen to those noisy rock bands
Mentalmucil Metamucil The product for people who are emotionally stuck and need help to feel regular again.
Meataphor Metaphor When a Vegan tells you something tastes just like its meat substitute.
Metathor Metaphor When Loki shapeshifts into Chris Hemsworth
Vetaphrase Metaphrase Analyze text very carefully.
Metaparsals Metatarsals Honking big packages sent by FedEx
Meateorologist Meteorologist A portly physician focused on bodily fluid elimonation.
Meateorologist Meteorologist A meateorologist is one who studies meat eaters. (MY FIX)
Dethamphetamine Methamphetamine A really lethal drug
Peticulous Meticulous Those who display devotion and intense care to their prized "furry" children.
Reticulous Meticulous Rediculously Detail Oriented
Petro Metro Mass transit for dogs who go to work
Metrognome Metronome Someone who is small, ugly, and lives in a big, ugly city
Metrognome Metronome A little man in a pointy hat who lives in your garden and keeps perfect time
Mehtropolis Metropolis A dull city
Retrosexual Metrosexual Feigning virginity
Mewn Mew A celestial body not bright enough to be howled at.
Emews Mews An unstable row of flightless birds.
Fezzo-Soprano Mezzo-Soprano A Turkish vocalist who usually sings the highest part
Miasman Miasma How the human species is likely to be described by anyone surviving the next 100 years on Earth
Mechelangelo Michelangelo He only paints self portraits.
Microfibber Microfiber Only tells little white lies
Micromenage Micromanage Dollhouse
Microsope Microscope What crickets use to clean themselves in the shower
Microloft Microsoft A large room at the top of Bill Gates’ home
Midass Midas The touch of a wannabe king that turns everything he touches into s***.
Idriff Midriff Battle between conscious and unconscious parts of one's psyche.
Madshipman Midshipman A sailor who can no longer stand being at sea for long periods
Megraine Migraine Someone who gives everyone else a headached by constantly talking about themselves
Hike Mike To raise the bar for heaping humorous sarcasm upon fellow punsters :-)
Smilestone Milestone One's joy and pride in reaching a certain accomplishment, birthday,event in life.
Militarustic Militaristic Drafted farm boys
Illennia Millennia An unending pandemic
Mulliner Milliner [1] Maker of spice mead;
[2] one who considers things but doesn't do them
Nillionaire Millionaire One who has spent their last dollar on a lottery ticket.
Milestone Millstone The thing you trip over when you run out of energy.
Milqueboast Milquetoast A man expressing pride in not being macho
Mimosax Mimosa A misguided crossbreeding effort to get a flowering tree to play jazz
Sinacious Minacious Threatening evil.
Rind-Boggling Mind-Boggling Endless difficulty peeling an orange
Mindfulmess Mindfulness A mental state inflicted by excessive and obsessive focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while vainly acknowledging and having to accept one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.
Micdreader Mindreader Someone who is terrified of singing on stage in front of an audience.
Minestroke Minestrone Brain injury while digging for coal.
Sinestrone Minestrone Italian soup a priest forces you to eat along with 40 Hail Marys and 50 Our Fathers
Ominibus Minibus An air of the impending inevitability of being made responsible and losing your job over a trivial mistake made by your boss, but with a better chance of survival than being thrown under a bus.
Dinimize Minimize Reduce noise
Minimice Minimize Very small rodents.
Minibum Minimum A diminutive panhandler
Minimom Minimum Small-sized mother
Menions Minions Men who are underlings or devoted followers of a woman and will perform at her bidding without question
Binister Minister Person who becomes head of a government department for the second time
Monotaur Minotaur Not your stereotypical maze-dweller
Minuscull Minuscule Rejected for size
Minitia Minutia Small army
Miraclues Miracles Reminders of the good things that have happened to you
Mirhaculous Miraculous An unexplained fix to a computer program problem; also, a sudden and astounding cough.
Misadentures Misadventures Old farts' teething problems
Kisanthrope Misanthrope Great way to offend a negative, distant being.
Misgalculation Miscalculation N., the “sure-thing” hot date that ends with a peck on the cheek
Miscmarriage Miscarriage Wives #2, #3 and #4 in most ME marriages
Mischef Mischief A bad chef
Missconception Misconception Pregnant beauty queen
Misconduck Misconduct Mallard Duck with poor social skills
Misscount Miscount Peerage rank above a baroness
Misfortuna Misfortune Canned fish
Misslaid Mislaid Unwedlocked
Hisnomer Misnomer Male problem with inaccurate name or designation.
Misgnomer Misnomer A misidentified garden figurine
Masogynist Misogynist A touch-therapist who won't take female clients
Misogylist Misogynist A compilation of despised women
Missogynist Misogynist Someone who hates only single women
Hisognyny Misogyny Gals' contempt for and prejudice against men
Missogyny Misogyny When women express hatred towards women
Misprison Misprision Parole
Missionharies Missionaries Jesuits who have been working in the jungle too long
Misteake Mistake Incorrectly cooked beef
Misstaken Mistaken Find another prom date
Missletoe Mistletoe A North Korean game invented by Kim Jong Un‚ wherein if he kisses you on both cheeks you survive and if he does not you get stuffed into the nose cone of the next missile leaving town
Mistlehoe Mistletoe A woman who will kiss absolutely anybody under the mistletoe
Mystress Mistress Problems with a lover
Misunderstrand Misunderstand To wrongly believe that a person wants to be left in a difficult situation.
Mittigate Mitigate A scandal involving a character played by Danny Kaye in a movie
Witigate Mitigate Use of truthful humorous banter to reduce our divisiveness.
Smittens Mittens Mittens belonging to the one you love.
Manemonic Mnemonic When the wife shares repeatively roy-g-biv to help husband remember colors of the rainbow. (red, organge, yellow,green, blue, indigo, violet)
Mnemanic Mnemonic Insane ways to help you remember!!
Emoat Moat A melodramatic ditch
Noderator Moderator The person who asks softball questions at a debate and fails to challenge political balderdash
Podification Modification Building a cocoon or shell
Momhawk Mohawk The hairstyle your mother adopts during her midlife crisis
Mowhawk Mohawk The strip of uncut grass left standing when mowing the yard and the mower paths don’t overlap enough.
Moistenor Moistener A sweaty singer
Moisturdizer Moisturizer Fresh fertilizer
Moleasses Molasses The derrières of small subterranean mammals in the family Talpidae
Molecube Molecule The smallest office at work
Jollify Mollify To temper down by being somewhat silly and foolish.
Mollydoddle Mollycoddle Or should I hold out for Hermione?
Mobarchist Monarchist A member of the Mafia who just loves the British Royal family
Momarchy Monarchy Your child's school Parents' Association
Monlay Monday A massive urge to stay in bed after the weekend and find any excuse not to go to work.
Gongoose Mongoose A disappeared species
Mongomose Mongoose Ferrets for life
Nongoose Mongoose A very confused creature that knows it cannot fly and is afraid of cobras
Momocle Monocle An eyeglass for Oedipus, or, an Oedipal convex.
Mojogamy Monogamy The attraction of one who is married
Mongologue Monologue Genghis Khan's speech to his hordes.
Manopoly Monopoly When one woman attracts all the men
Monopolo Monopoly A horseback game for one
Monatone Monotone A palliation utterly lacking in pitch or vibrance
Morotonous Monotonous The second and third time the same email joke is received
Monsown Monsoon Cloud-seeding that results in three months of constant rain
Momster Monster Who you have to answer to when you've woken her up too early on a Saturday morning by being loud and roughhousing
Menstrosity Monstrosity Once a month when a woman goes all Jeckyl-and- Hyde on you
Monstrocity Monstrosity Tokyo
Manumental Monumental [1] The great mind of a guy; [2] the mind of a great guy
Manumental Monumental Alpha male
Emoo Moo A flightless cow
Goonstruck Moonstruck Madly infatuated with a dangerous cult
Amoria Moria Tired of love
Maoribund Moribund Depressed All Blacks (National Rugby Union Team of New Zealand ) on the rare occasion of their defeat.
From Maori, meaning an Indigenous New Zealand citizen and from Bund, ( German ), meaning federation, team, league as in Bundesliga.
Moribunditty Moribundity A surprisingly upbeat funeral tune
Boron Moron Not only dumb, but uninteresting, as well
Boronic Moronic Incredible dullness
Moorons Morons Very unskilled boat operators
Mhorose Morose A dejected stallion
Moroose Morose A disgruntled elk
S’Morose Morose Disappointed by the current quality of this confectionary favorite.
Mortarbard Mortarboard A singing mason
Moregage Mortgage When you overextend yourself financially.
Mortcage Mortgage N., a house with a resale value below the balance owing in financing.
Mortgauge Mortgage A measure of the degree to which you're living on borrowed time.
Tortice Mortice A turtle that has found its niche
Mordification Mortification OMG! My house loan is a LOT more than my house is worth and the bank can't help!
Mordify Mortify To modify more something more than it should be
Musaic Mosaic Often written or painted on walls or train cars, it's the sound one might hear when the cops catch you doing it.
Mosquinto Mosquito An insect with below average eyesight.
Gothball Mothball What`s black and white with dread all over
Mothermood Motherhood Ain’t Mamma happy; ain’t nobody happy!
Notivated Motivated When your get up and go has got up and went.
Mobivation Motivation A reason to run
Mortivation Motivation The relentless downward pull that begins in middle age.
Motocrows Motocross Blackbirds on dirtbikes
Countainous Mountainous Many minor royalty
Mountybank Mountebank Where Canadian policemen deposit their paycheques
Moossaka Moussaka A traditional Greek casserole made with beef
Moostache Moustache Got Milk?
Amow Mow Clips of grass
Motart Mozart Tastelessly dressed woman in Riyadh
Moztart Mozart Famous pastry at the St. Louis Viennese Tea Room
Mugly Muggy A face only Mom could love
Pulberry Mulberry Best way to acquire and taste fruit
Emule Mule A donkey that can stand on its hind legs, act like a big chicken, put on a passable Australian accent and generally make an ass of itself.
Nulligan Mulligan No "do over" for inappropriate, flagrant action.
Mulligafawny Mulligatawny Bambi curry
Muftilingual Multilingual A middle-eastern religious leader who speaks Maghrebi, Levantine, and other Arabic dialects
Mulltipple Multiple A warmed wine drink for winter time
Multifly Multiply Several flight connections
Multiasking Multitasking The frantic behaviour of children approximately two weeks before Christmas
Multi-Tsking Multi-Tasking Proficient at expressing disapproval of several things at once
Multinude Multitude A mass striptease
Gummification Mummification State of the chewing gum on the bottom of a chair
Mommified Mummified Memories of one’s mother both positive/negative are eternally preserved.
Fundane Mundane Having a great Danish holiday.
Mundance Mundane Waltz, basic 2 step
Mundaze Mundane When you spend your entire, boring career daydreaming about retirement
Nundane Mundane Ophelia
Amunificence Munificence The NRAA's lavish generosity to lobbyists
Merder Murder A crappy way to die.
Merderer Murderer The one in the restroom just before you
Purky Murky Enthusiastically obscure
Huscle Muscle Brisk brawn
Mushles Muscles What your muscles become when you don't work out
Ruseum Museum Edifice that houses artifacts, paintings, sculptures that are not authentic
Moshroom Mushroom A punk rock performance venue
Musick Music When you can't remember the name of a song, because your muse has the flu.
Musketeen Musketeer A young gun-toter
Lustache Mustache Super affinity for males with facial hair.
Mistache Mustache Faint traces of hair above upper lip
Mistachio Mustachio The pale green stripe left on your lip after eating pistachio flavoured ice cream
Mustark Mustard Twelfth letter of the Greek alphabet sans serif
Cutation Mutation Adorable anomaly
Muteiny Mutiny When people in your Zoom meeting won't leave themselves muted, and it wrecks the meeting for everyone else.
Mylari Mylar A PET butterfish
Myhopia Myopia Short-sighted optimism
Myopia Myopic A society of nearsighted people.
Pystified Mystified Pissed and mystified at the same time
Nachoo Nacho Sound of a sneeze after eating a Mexican appetizer
Wadir Nadir One who frolics in the lowest water levels at a pool or beach.
Knaif Naif Sharp but innocent
Nomecalling Namecalling An incoming telephone communique from a town in Alaska
Nanyette Nanette A revival of the Broadway musical performed in the Russian language
Nasosecond Nanosecond A measurement of the time available to grab and deploy a tissue once you feel a sneeze coming on. Inversely proportional to the severity of the sneeze.
Snap Nap A short nap
Nepalm Napalm A Himalayan Flame Tree
Lapkin Napkin A cloth for wiping one’s mouth or hands, but NOT tucked into that person’s collar!
Maptime Naptime Sleeping for flaternity
Narcossism Narcissism What, me get busted?!?
Gnarcissist Narcissist Extreme self absorbed being who will snarl and growl when he does not receive excessive praise, ultimate admiration and be the center of attention.
Barcolepsy Narcolepsy A wee nap at the pub
Carcolepsy Narcolepsy The inability to stay awake while driving
Narcolipsy Narcolepsy A state in which a person with a death wish doesn’t know quite how to say it.
Snarcolepsy Narcolepsy A chronic disorder characterized by an uncontrollable feeling of snarkiness and sudden attacks of snark.
Carcoleptic Narcoleptic A person who falls asleep immediately upon the start of a car ride.
Barthex Narthex The lobby of a pub
Narwhat Narwhal Question posed by a tusked whale
Knary Nary A little yellow bird that is neither a budgie nor a stunted parrot.
Nascarp Nascar High octaine fishing
Nascenty Nascent Smelling like a baby.
Lative Native Laxative with dealyed delivery feature
Snaugahyde Naugahyde Fake dragonskin used for covering furniture in the Shire
Nauseacting Nauseating An acting performance so horrific, it made you sick
Knavel Navel A peasant’s belly button
Nagigator Navigator A backseat driver
Meer-Do-Well Ne’Er Do Well A body of water highly recommended for its potability
Meanderthal Neanderthal Someone who wanders slowly and aimlessly around shopping malls
Teanderthal Neanderthal Ancient beverage
Nibulous Nebulous A pen that writes unclearly.
Rebulous Nebulous Vague and confused rationale of those who rise up against the establishment.
Webulous Nebulous Occasional indistinct and vague "Web" response.
Neckromancer Necromancer Someone who specializes in giving hickeys
Necarious Nefarious Thoughtful villain
Nefertitti Nefertiti Flat chested Egyptian Empress
Neglucted Neglected Thwarted from finding good fortune
Negligeek Negligee A nerdy nightie
Nogligence Negligence When at a Christmas party there is figgy pudding but no eggy grog
Nogotiation Negotiation A losing-losing policy-making strategy often employed by elected officials most recently and most noticeably during health care reform or equally as recently, but less noticeably by me unsuccessfully with my spouse (to be read as partner).
Negothiations Negotiations Bargaining between parents and teenagers about the wearing of thick eyeliner, leather, heavy boots, and black clothing
Neighborhoods Neighborhood Why your car’s tires and catalytic converters are missing
Neighborhoops Neighborhoods Basketball next door or across the street
Neighboors Neighbors People lacking a sense of respect for those who live in adjoining domiciles
Neighbrrs Neighbors Abutters at the north and south poles
Femesis Nemesis Women’s awesome role in overcoming disrespect, discrimination and inequality.
Femesis Nemesis Ladies who dislike each other
Numesis Nemesis An adversary who makes you feel nothing
Neocorn Neocon Reactionary cliches
Weologism Neologism Lucky us who create words for WPMI!!
Neologasms Neologisms The reason why WPMI has so many regular contributors
Neonphyte Neophyte 24/7 electronic sign enrages neighborhood.
Inepotism Nepotism Describes a person who is hired by a relative and totally unworthy
Neprotism Nepotism So what if great connections benefit those unqualified to succeed! Who cares that those with abilities but no connections had it tough. Ha ha!!
Mest Nest What a pack-rat lives in
Nyetflix Netflix To cancel your subscription as a result of a price increase
Vetflix Netflix Streaming movies about war or animals.
Betizen Netizen Addicted online gambler
Notwork Network A network in its typical state
Neurapathy Neuropathy You've lost feeling in your extremities and just don't care.
Teutered Neutered Received wisdom on a DIY vasectomy?
Neutrans Neutrons Voluntarily taken out of the gene pool
Neversmore Nevermore A dietary warning: Unless you are “ravenous”, do not eat marshmallow, chocolate, and graham cracker treats
Neverthelass Nevertheless Always the lad
Nevertheloss Nevertheless In spite of ceasing to have something
Neverthemess Nevertheless Maintaining order in the face of calamity
Neew New Something that is original and disgusting
Knews News News one already knows
Nows News Consumption of news only of an instantaneous nature.
Mewsletter Newsletter [1] A regular report about life as a captive;
[2] the puss's pamphlet
Newshrooms Newsrooms The fresher the better.
Knewton Newton Appl(i)ed physicist
Niagra Niagara (n): a new drug for men; it’s a diuretic
Snice Nice (n) The result of freezing rain mixed with snow, which forms a white crusty, crunchy cover to your yard.
Knightfall Nightfall A jousting mishap
Nightbare Nightmare How some sleep
Nightmere Nightmare A very short scary dream
Nohilist Nihilist One who considers traditional Japanese theatre to be meaningless
Niked Nike Appearing in public wearing nothing but running shoes
Numbus Nimbus The dark cloud that dampens our spirits
Incompoop Nincompoop REALLY clueless about money.
Nincomplop Nincompoop A fool's fall
Noncompoop Nincompoop What you find in an Army latrine
Noncompoop Nincompoop Why the private has to follow the corporal around with a plastic bag.
Niterates Nitrates About $20 an hour with the wrong (!) company at a sleazebag motel
Nogbrainer Nobrainer How you felt at Christmas after downing one too many eggnogs
Jocturnal Nocturnal Nightly athletes
Nocturinal Nocturnal Waking up at midnight needing to use the bathroom
Nocturtal Nocturnal A tortoise that only comes out at night
Noisea Noise Sick and sound
Gnomad Nomad A wandering Elf
Momenclature Nomenclature Words that mothers use repeatedly to direct their children. The meaning might be sometimes ambiguous to others but the children understand them perfectly.
Nomenclasure Nomenclature Males definitely excluded.
Tonchalant Nonchalant Incredibly, indisputably chalant; possessing 2000 lbs. of chalant; the measurable gravitas of chalantness
Nundairy Nondairy Milking and churning by cloistered ladies; those in the habit of this conventional work
Nonrenominational Nondenominational A politician who says he won't run for office again.
Nondescrypt Nondescript An unremarked grave
Ninentity Nonenity Ninety year old person of worth
Nounsense Nonsense A strange sentence with no verbs which you understand.
Donsequitur Nonsequitur Scientific term for Don Old Trump nonsense.
Neormal Normal New normal
Normad Normal Noun – the usual kind of wanderer
Normalby Normalcy An upgraded normalcy
Northbeast Northeast A broad category of creatures including, but no limited to, the polar bear, moose, and yeti
Nastalgia Nostalgia Fond recollections of mean things you have done.
Noostalgia Nostalgia A retired hangman's fondest memories.
Nostradumus Nostradamus A modern-day seer who, despite his unfounded overconfidence in his ability to predict future events, foretells, for the benefit of his cult following of believers, events including the weather, winning lotto numbers, volcano erruption likelihood and timing, oscar winners, and medical abnormalities in unborn babies, with a shockingly consistent level of inaccuracy.
Novary Notary Tubal Ligation
Knothing Nothing Tied up in nots
Potice Notice To notice apolice officer (most commonly used while driving.)
Nitification Notification A communication usually from in-laws or ex-spouses pointing out your minor flaws or mistakes
Notifvacation Notification Out-of-office email message
Notarious Notorious Rather shady paralegals
Noughth Nought Roald Amundsen's compass bearing on 12th May 1926
Nobelize Novelize We tried to drive east out of Guatemala but found out that Belize had moved to Puerto Rico.
Gnuanced Nuanced Subtly resembling a wildebeest
Pubilous Nubilous Fogginess of adolescence from "raging hormones"
Puclear Nuclear Entire subject is so horrendously stressful, it makes one ready and eager to "upchuck".
Audist Nudist A nudist who can be heard, but not seen
Ludist Nudist A naturist with an evil intent
Mudists Nudists Steeplechase contestants at a naturist resort
Nudistertian Nudiustertian Three aspects of being naked
Nudacity Nugacity Undressing without purpose
Nagatory Nugatory The penniless road to hell via an incompatible spouse
Snugatory Nugatory An amorous embrace by a conservative
Numbeers Numbers Tally of beers consumed, although it's easy to lose track
Bumbskull Numbskull Cranio-rectal inversion
Sumerology Numerology Pattern of those who file countless frivolous lawsuits
Funnery Nunnery A somewhat less than holy order
Numptial Nuptial Incompetent wedding celebrant
Nyeti Nyet The Abominable No-man
Noasis Oasis Desertification
Oafmeal Oatmeal Lunk chow
Orbligato Obbligato In a musical composition, an additional melodic element which may be played as a round
Orbligato Obbligato An additional melodic element that may be played as a round
Mobdurate Obdurate Intense obstinance of cult followers with no likelihood of rational thinking.
Obdurat Obdurate A repulsively obdurate person.
Obease Obese Mobility for the large
Mobesity Obesity A whale with a weight problem
Mobesity Obesity Overweight "wise guys"
Obecity Obesity Where a weight problem is endemic to a whole town or region
Obeisity Obesity Showing way too much respect for food
Obescity Obesity A metropolitan area with a predominance of overweight citizens
Nobey Obey To rebel.
Jobfuscate Obfuscate Artificial Intelligence,"AI", will definitely affect future employment.
Obfusdate Obfuscate Unclear romantic relationship status
Sobfuscated Obfuscated Blinded by tears
Oblituary Obituary Written out of history
Ohbituary Obituary A public notice of the death of an erstwhile celebrity, the publication of which notifies one that, until recently, that aged celebrity was actually still alive
Orbituary Obituary The pubic announcement of a satellite launch.
Obligrated Obligated Annoyingly persistent sympathy
Jobligation Obligation A task or assignment specifically related to one's work; views with distain as it typically interferes with or prevents otherwise enjoyable activities in life.
Oblication Obligation Using your two weeks of vacation to visit family
Moblige Oblige Wise Guys" insist that members must oblige all requests!!
Moblique Oblique Wise Guys" Rather cryptic name.
Soblique Oblique Incredibly desolate and depressing (for the fancy)
Mobliterate Obliterate Destructive force of unruly violent protestors.
Oblitherate Obliterate To painfully tolerate the blitherings of another as an obligatory move.
Moblivion Oblivion Stupidity of massive crowd that forgot reasons for congregating and protesting.
Obliviot Oblivion Inattentive driver who clearly does not have his/her wits about them
Moblivious Oblivious The lack of awareness associated with using a mobile device while performing other mundane activities
Oblitious Oblivious Being unaware because one is inebriated.
Abnoxious Obnoxious Wearing a bare midriff outfit to the gym
Nobscene Obscene What they call a 'dick pic' in the UK.
Abscenity Obscenity Someone wearing a crop-top that really shouldn’t
Obscurentism Obscurantism The deliberately vague pricing of apartment leases
Mobscure Obscure An unknown Gang
Obscare Obscure When you’re afraid, but you’re not sure what of
Obesequious Obsequious Reduced to servility on account of a recent gain in weight,
Mobservation Observation Watching a protest
Jobsessed Obsessed Worrying constantly about finding regular employment.
Oblessed Obsessed An extremely focused, religious fanatic, who has received many blessings from the divine.
Jobsessive Obsessive Believing your workplace will fail after you retire
Obcessive Obsessive Prone to compulsive stopping
Jobsolete Obsolete Stenos, milkmen, Toll collectors, movie projectionists to name a few.
Jobstacle Obstacle When work gets in the way of playing word games on-line.
Lobstetrician Obstetrician Responsible for delivering crustacean babies
Obstunate Obstinate Determined to shock
Sobstinate Obstinate Describing a toddler who will not stop crying
Obestreperous Obstreperous A weight-defiant/control-defiant person
Obstreporous Obstreperous Noisy and difficult to control but shallow nevertheless
Robtain Obtain To acquire things by unlawful means
Jobtuse Obtuse Difficult to explain the specifics of one's work.
Obfuse Obtuse Inappropriate explosive remark
Obuse Obtuse Harshly insulting derogatory remarks made about a person's weight
Orbvious Obvious When keeping your eye on the ball goes without saying
Oybvious Obvious Talmudic
Ocarenal Ocarina A kidney-shaped flute
Oscarina Ocarina Hot dog whistle
Accupants Occupants The ability to walk into a mens tailor shop and pick a pair of trousers off the rack that fit instantly to perfection
Occupi Occupy 3.14 protesters.
Ooccurrence Occurrence A window-shopping trip
Oucher Ocher Word you repeat three times when faced with surprising pain. Orange you glad to learn this word.
Moctogenarian Octogenarian Elderly comedian
Octopuns Octopus Jokes where the teller always substitutes the word testicles and laughs uproariously
Optothorpe Octothorpe You are given the choice to thorpe or lose your job
Oddishy Oddish An arduous journey made tolerable by whisky
Odiferoust Odiferous Ejection from a venue due to personal hygiene issues
Openophile Oenophile A person who enjoys removing the corks in wine bottles.
Offall Offal On a very strict diet
Offence Offense When you’re first to put a barrier between you and your neighbor (British spelling)
Offensieve Offensive An attack strainer
Offeartory Offertory A contribution to the collection plate in a Catholic Mass made out of a worry of going to Hell
Offace Office Busy-looking countenance meant to deceive the boss that you're actually working.
Rofficious Officious Another name for "sushi"
Offstring Offspring Kite gone solo
Dogee Ogee A serpentine canine of uncertain value in a window
Oohm Ohm Electrical measurement for mediation
Oinkment Ointment Bacon flavored salve
Tokie Okie A stoner from Muskogee
Nokra Okra Inability to digest and/or ingest okra
Oktoberpest Oktoberfest Any of the critters that move into your home in anticipation of winter
Golfaction Olfaction Foul odor from sweaty cleats after 18 holes.
Elfactory Olfactory Related to North Pole manufacturing activity
Lolfactory Olfactory Comedy club
Oldfactory Olfactory A fading sense of smell
Moligarch Oligarch Girl friend of Russian racketeer
Oiligarchy Oligarchy Small group of powerful oil producers who control supply and fix prices
Lympiad Olympiad The migration of athletes back home after the competition
Olimpian Olympian A slightly handicapped amateur international athlete
Olimpian Olympian The person with a limp who just beat everyone else in the 10K race.
O'Lympian Olympian An Irish Olympic runner who pulled a muscle and dropped out of his race
Colympic Olympic Colympic Games - same as the Hunger Games, but with a better chance of survival
Olympuss Olympus Athletic show cat
Ombusman Ombudsman Person appointed by a bus company to investigate passenger complaints
Omelit Omelet Eggs on fire
Oymicron Omicron A COVID variant that makes you feel guilty for contracting it.
Mominous Ominous Threats of a tough maternal gal.
Ohminous Ominous The feeling of foreboding you get just before being struck by lightning
Romission Omission Roma delenda est
Omnimpotent Omnimpotent Unable to do anything whatsoever
Tomnipotent Omnipotent Male felines dominate.
Momnipresent Omnipresent Mothers you cannot escape from
Momnivore Omnivore Cougar hunters
Honcologists Oncologists Doctors who specialise in chronic diseases among geese
Lonerous Onerous Aged’s serious burden from the passing of beloved friends and family.
Eongoing Ongoing Taking it a bit farther
Tonion Onion N., an extremely large onion
Onionski Onionskin Strange, but I guess it could happen....
Onomatopoeiar Onomatopoeia Someone who delights in holding it in
Tontology Ontology What do you mean, "We," Kemo Sabe?
Ownus Onus The burden that comes with possession
Goodles Oodles Extremely overcooked pasta
Bopaque Opaque A barbecue in Hoboken New Jersey
Opcyst Opcyst A surgeon who removes cysts
Copen Open Managing, but only just
Nopen Open When WPM is unavailable to accept your entry
Copera Opera The Rockford Finales
Operaytion Operation Laser surgery
Coperator Operator Person handling the switchboard at the local police station
Coperetta Operetta Policemen who sing Gilbert and Sullivan
Ophcleide Ophicleide A large keyed brass horn that doubles as a noodle bowl
Nopine Opine Indecisive!
Dopined Opined A dunce’s views
Nopinion Opinion Gearless
Ofinion Opinion An offensive opinion
Dopioid Opioid Dumb and addicted
Opportonism Opportunism Tons of lawmakers with NO principles!!!
Apportunity Opportunity The chance to purchase software for a reduced price.
Opportunite Opportunity A chance to do something this evening.
Sopportunity Opportunity Soaking up the moment
Mopposite Opposite Karate Kid technique for mopping floors. Every other movement in opposite direction. “Mop on mop off”
Opposide Opposite A mathematical term for a side across from a reference angle
Opprobarium Opprobrium The disgrace of the enema
Toptimal Optimal My turn on top?
Coptimist Optimist A very positive-thinking law officer
Optimoistic Optimistic Salivating at the prospect of imminent success
Optimystic Optimistic Mystically hopeful
Obtion Option Surgical choice for an Out of Body experience while under
Optometryst Optometrist More than just an eye appointment
Ptometrists Optometrists Concert pianists' page-turners
Opuslence Opulence Musical composition with an excess of notes
Lopus Opus Lopus is an antonym of opus. It refers to a "Long Period of Uncomfortable Silence" that happens in a public or private forum when someone raises a controversial topic that others in the forum just don't want to talk about. Unlike an opus, a lopus is devoid of content.
Boracular Oracular Tedium from forecaster’s unwelcome future predictions.
Organge Orange A wild party in Amsterdam
Oratorigal Oratorical Rural female species are prone to long speeches.
Horatory Oratory Hooker's parlance
Orcat Orca Just another unsuccessful chimera
Orchward Orchard A troupe of dancing fruit-trees that can’t find their grove
Archestra Orchestra A grouping of partial circles
Dorchestra Orchestra Musical group made up entirely of nerds
Orcaestrate Orchestrate To direct the killer whale show at a marine theme park
Orchastrated Orchestrated Neutered killer whale, aka Free Willy
Orchastration Orchestration Shortening a piece of music by cutting out vital parts. The result is often delivered in a high pitched voice.
Ordainary Ordinary A routine declaration
Wordinary Ordinary An un-witty or un-clever definition in WPMI.
Oreguano Oregano Bat spice
Orgyanizing Organizing Throwing the hottest party in town
Organumb Organum The sensation you get when listening to too much Gregorian chant
Yorgasm Orgasm Fond remembrance of things you can't remember
Morgasms Orgasms What hopefully happens
Orgiental Oriental Hot times in Shanghai
Oriontation Orientation Looking upward
Gorigami Origami Paper folding that results in multiple paper cuts
Origamo Origami The ancient art of herb folding
Origasmi Origami To be aroused by paper folding.
Origumi Origami The art of making decorative shapes and objects by folding flypaper
Hornament Ornament Decoration on Rhino
Pornament Ornament Sexually naughty Christmas tree decoration.
Cornery Ornery 1. Cantankerous maize
2. Stuck at the junction of two walls
Hornery Ornery Not getting any; not pleased
Hornithologist Ornithologist A person with deep thoughts of sexual activities with birds
Hornithology Ornithology Collection of short stories written by nymphomaniacs.
Northodoxy Orthodoxy Beliefs and philosophy guided solely by Polaris.
Asculate Osculate (v.) The act of conducting niceties in order to gain the favor of a person in a perceived position of authority (i.e., butt-kissing)
Oscudate Osculate Kiss on first date ok??
Bosculation Osculation Honing your kissing technique by smooching a pear
Ozprey Osprey What giant Australian alligators hunt for
Ostsensible Ostensible Supposedly sane
Hostentatious Ostentatious Vulgar display by your "genial" host eager to impress.
Lostentatious Ostentatious Flamboyance on a desert island
Oftentatious Ostentatious Regular bouts of being gaudy with desire
O'Stentatious Ostentatious An overdressed Irishman
Ostrasize Ostracize Shunning the overweight
Ostrasize Ostracize Largest eggs available
Totalgia Otalgia When all family members have earaches in both ears
Oatiose Otiose Empty-carb calories found in breakfast cereals
Ouelletter Ouellette Junk mail from Emile
Touellette Ouellette A pre-packaged, pre-moistened tissue with which one may wash his hands of trifling abuses to his name...or of barbecue sauce
Ouever Ouevre French-speaking person's preferred vacuum cleaner for tackling housework.
Euroboros Ouroboros An imploding currency, biting the hand that feeds it.
Outblandish Outlandish Strangely dull
Poutlier Outlier An annoyed and displeased prevaricator
Goutliers Outliers Not true that night shade veggies cause severe inflamations.
Poutmaneuver Outmaneuver Early childhood tactic used to get what one wants
Outmaneuveered Outmaneuvered Avoided a collision
Poutrage Outrage The Silent Treatment
Owvary Ovary Labor Pains
Ovalion Ovation A rotund savanna cat
Overbaring Overbearing Shedding too much clothing in public
Roverexposed Overexposed How you feel after being with a friend who never stops talking about their dog
Overmutch Overmatch When the decree nisi becomes absolute
Overslight Oversight Accidental character assassination when the original intent was a mere backstabbing.
Loverture Overture Courtship
Hoverwhelm Overwhelm Helicopter parent syndrome
Overwhelked Overwhelmed English vendor of shellfish with an oversupply of product
Vowl Owl A rarely sighted nocturnal bird recognisable by its distinctive call of "To-wit, To-aeiou"
Zox Ox A dormant buffalo
Oxent Oxen A stressed, silly bull
Boxidation Oxidation Alternative medical procedure where hyperventilating patient covers their head with a box vs. breathing into a paper bag.
Poxygen Oxygen Poor quality air
Boxymoron Oxymoron Self-contradictory dunce in a wooden container
Doxymoron Oxymoron Idiot that gives out your address
Foxymoron Oxymoron A person who’s hot looking but stupid.
Loxymoron Oxymoron It ain’t salmon
Moxymoron Oxymoron Dumb but determined
Oxomoron Oxymoron Someone who thinks a popular brand of stock cube means hugs and kisses
Oxyboron Oxymoron Aerated borax
Oxy-Moron Oxymoron Someone who regularly uses street drugs.
Poxymoron Oxymoron Antivax imbecile
Poxymoron Oxymoron Dumb and diseased
Poxymoron Oxymoron A scar faced idiot
Sxymoron Oxymoron Someone who is interesting, right up until they open their mouth
Bozone Ozone A place frequented by clowns
Dozone Ozone Region within the cerebral cortex where Homer Simpson’s moments of insight germinate
Hozone Ozone Seedy neighborhood where crack addicted prostitutes loiter.
Pachydorm Pachyderm The elephant in the college student’s room
Patchyderm Pachyderm Skin plaques
Patchyderm Pachyderm An elephant with a skin condition
Pacifry Pacify To cook chicken in oil as a peace offering to an upset spouse
Lackaging Packaging Peter Pan
Padlack Padlock Nothing on which to write
Padlook Padlock Anticipating a launch
Nagoda Pagoda A shrew-shrine box
Painslaking Painstaking Poorly-made cactus cooler
Spair Pair Two extra
Praisley Paisley Compliment with swirly and colorful words
Palack Palace A successful siege
Palmaver Palaver Mindless chatter about tropical trees
Paleonology Paleontology The study of albinos named Leon.
Pakestinian Palestinian The uncanny ability to take two diverse nationalities and insult them both at the same time
Palindrone Palindrome Unmanned vehicle equally capable of flying forward and backwards
Palindrone Palindrome Mmmmmmm
Ballbearers Pallbearers Jock straps
Pailiative Palliative Describing a last ditch effort to extend life, by applying generous amounts of water to needy plants
Palrate Palpate BFF or not
Pulpitations Palpitations The throbbing of a tooth that needs a root canal
Damphlets Pamphlets Brochures distributed in the rain
Nanache Panache Grandmother possessing style, spirit and grace
Punache Panache Flamboyant style of WPMI's wordsmiths.
Panalysis Panalysis The helpless feeling of not finding the proper cookware midway in preparation of a meal
Pancares Pancakes An empathetic skillet
Puncakes Pancakes Wordplay at breakfast
Pancape Pancape Part of the Pillsbury Doughboy’s super-hero costume.
Pantreatic Pancreatic Shelves under your roof for storing canned goods
Pandar Panda A digital bear-detector with a monochrome display
Punda Panda A black-and-white, bearlike mammal on open mic at the comedy club
Bandemic Pandemic Covid 19 hoaxers
Pandamic Pandemic An over population of pandas.
Pandemi Pandemic A bad review for movie actress Moore
Pendemic Pandemic When the world runs out of ink
Pundemic Pandemic Uncontrolable wordplay
Spandemic Pandemic A run on Lululemon products
Mandemonium Pandemonium The chaos, shrieking, and complete disruption resulting from a surprise visit by the Chippendale’s dancers to your wife’s birthday party
Pandeminium Pandemonium A little bit of wild and noisy disorder
Pandemonicum Pandemonium A breakdown of decorum in supermarkets
Pundemonium Pandemonium Chaos in the Wordplay office
Tandemonium Pandemonium Ten clowns striking poses on a two-seat bicycle
Paniculation Pandiculation The process of insulting your cookware
Manel Panel An all-male panel of experts
Tangolin Pangolin A scaly anteater which inhabits Africa but secretly wants to move to Argentina to learn how to dance
Pandandler Panhandler Black-and-white bamboo muncher seeking handouts
Panshandler Panhandler A chef who has fallen on hard times
Planic Panic An extreme over reaction to a situation that was anticipated and for which one is prepared
Spanic Panic Full extent of stressful concern from beginning to end.
Panopoly Panoply A board game using cookware as game pieces
Pantoply Panoply A display of trousers
Punoply Panoply Awesome WPMI collection of inventive words by creative beings!!
Panoptican Panopticon Prison toilet
Mansnake Pansnake It's the one that stands up to hiss
Pantygruelian Pantagruelian A more positive outlook when one is clad in only his/her underwear
Pantsechnicon Pantechnicon Someone with the ability to transport a three-piece suite in their trousers
Painties Panties Overalls
Pantomimeo Pantomime Pretending to make copies
Phantomime Pantomime Charades by a silent ghost
Pantyhoe Pantyhose Individual stocking that comes in cheetah, leopard and zebra print. Usually sold in pairs.
Pantyhorse Pantyhose Back half of the pantomime horse
Pantyhost Pantyhose Person throwing the underwear party
Poparazzi Paparazzi The media members that cover the Pope
Puparazzi Paparazzi Young dogs who chase their tales
Puparazzi Paparazzi Seen hiding in the bushes near the dog park (Celebrity puplicists ? - Ed)
Poperboys Paperboys Acolytes in the Vatican.
Pupercup Papercup Drinking vessel for small dog
Rapier Papier A worthless short-sword
Waraclete Paraclete A mercenary
Paradigmy Paradigm Small, but perfectly formed
Paradizm Paradigm The inescapable truth that, eventually, Snoop Dogg will add -izzle to every word you once loved.
Sparadigm Paradigm The pattern or set of conditions that define being poor, as in “Buddy can you…”
Paradigmes Paradigms Tuppence worth of much the same
Paradice Paradise Delightful place for Eskimos to live in
Paradice Paradise Euphoria experienced by a craps player who has had a perfect roll
Pairadox Paradox Couple who practice medicine.
Parasliding Paragliding Ice skating with aerial aid
Paragone Paragon A being of grace, intellect and empathy who has passed away.
Paragony Paragon A champion sufferer
Paragoon Paragon The perfect example of movie tough guy
Rarallelism Parallelism Unusual or unexpected equivalence; exceptional conformity
Baralysis Paralysis The state that your device is in when you are downloading something and the bar stops moving
Puralysis Paralysis The inability to move because you have a sleeping cat on your lap that you don’t want to disturb.
Perambulate Parambulate To refer to paramedics stuck in traffic
Paramedici Paramedic Italian royalty physician
Pairamount Paramount Two on a pony
Pairanoia Paranoia The sense that not everyone around you is out to get you; it’s just a couple of people that are
Caranoid Paranoid Paranoid but correct
Haranoid Paranoid When you keep thinking a hair is in your food or mouth
Papanoid Paranoid Fear of knocking up someone.
Parabnormal Paranormal Unusually inexplicable; supernatural deviation
Paranorman Paranormal Elite group of French troops sent ahead by William the Conqueror to test out Harold's defences
Parisite Parasite French mooch
Parisites Parasites Residents of the capital of France
Parentaged Parentage The moment in life you realize you have just started sounding exactly like your parents
Parentthesis Parenthesis Getting your doctorate while you are looking after the baby
Pairents Parents Progenitors of twins
Spariah Pariah The pervert who’s towel ’conveniently’ keeps slipping off
Parwish Parish Halfhearted hope
Sparkinsons Parkinsons A neurological brain disease characterized by fiery outbursts
Sparliament Parliament A contentious session in the legislative assembly.
Partlous Parlous Relatively fumigated
Parot Parrot The art of using scorecards to predict someone's golf game
Carsimonious Parsimonious Owns a Yugo
Parksimonious Parsimonious Amusing to watch a driver attempt to park car in an inadequate "tight" spot.
Parsimoney Parsimony Sparse in spending money
Parslimony Parsimony Saving money on the vegetables during the Covid19 Pandemic
Partgal Partial A person is eager to have their final gender-change operation in a few days.
Particklar Particular Adj – somewhat ticklish
noun – ticklish area of body
Sparticular Particular Pick your battles.
Partysanship Partisanship Semi-military love-boat
Partnerd Partnered Someone in danger of becoming totally obsessive about the love of their life
Partnidge Partridge A crossbred gnat
Sparty Party An under-attended party
Parvenue Parvenu The “in places” for social climbers
Parvenut Parvenu New political party with exteme views, and issues
Passengerk Passenger The fellow on the plane who just won’t shut up
Pissenger Passenger Person waiting in line to use the airplane bathroom
Passionmately Passionately Single seeking a lovable soulmate.
Pastword Password Not the way into your email anymore
Pastimie Pastime Ma
Pastury Pastry A grass pie
Pastlure Pasture Retired bait
Peternity Paternity The never-ending status of being a father.
Poternity Paternity Evolution of legalized marijuana
Patternoster Paternoster Delivering a sermon by text message
Pastience Patience Well and truly beyond forbearance, particularly w.r.t. continued masking
Paytience Patience Patience in accepting late payment of rent, for example
Watisserie Patisserie [1] An Ethiopian bakery;
[2] a stew-filled pastry;
[3] bread sold in a Cambodian temple
Putrician Patrician A rotten Roman politician
Matricide Patricide Portion of a bed slept upon by mothers
Hatronage Patronage Unwillingness to use or support a particular institution, custom, company or cause, no matter how reasonable and cogent the arguments to do so are.
Pawcity Paucity A metropolitan area for cats and dogs
Paylovian Pavlovian Predictable response to current priviledged seeking "Rewards" for their loyal indulgent support.
Prawnshop Pawnshop A place to buy and sell shrimp.
Paymint Payment For those that DO put their money where their mouth is
Payrents Payments Parents who still pay for necessities, like rent, for their post-college children
Preachfuzz Peachfuzz What a pastor sports when he begins to grow facial hair
Peccadildo Peccadillo A propensity to require the right tool for the job
Peccardillo Peccadillo You have an involuntary erection at a completely inappropriate time: when meeting your boss's wife or at your grandma’s funeral
Pectorial Pectoral Bodybuilder portraits.
Peckuliar Peculiar Describing an odd light kiss
Preculiar Peculiar Before it's odd
Pedagory Pedagogy The study of lessons learned from slasher films
Bedantic Pedantic Funny, fussy, formal bedtime rituals.
Perantic Pedantic Act of stodgily ranting, demeaning others obsessively
Pudantic Pedantic Excessive concern for the use of correct ingredients and precise measurements in production of desserts
Pedistal Pedestal Cuffs around the ankles to keep prisoners from fleeing.
Pedustrian Pedestrian One who likes to take walks on unpaved country roads
Petiatrician Pediatrician A specialist of veterinary medicine whose practice only treats puppies and kittens
Peticure Pedicure When you take your dog to the vet to get it’s nails clipped
Reduncle Peduncle A sunburned relative
Peephone Peephole An app that tracks the number, duration, accuracy and splashbacks of your tinkles.
Pelicant Pelican A large seabird that whines too much
Peallets Pellets Kumquats
Pellmeal Pellmell A hastily, ill-prepared meal
Pillucid Pellucid Lost in translucence
Piloton Peloton Stage leaders in the Tour de France
Gelvis Pelvis A bone that bends but doesn’t break
Paenalize Penalize Sing to
Henchant Penchant Noise the chickens make when there’s a rosterin the yard.
Pennchant Penchant A parchment pennant of passion and purpose
Punchant Penchant Strong affinity for creating puns for WPMI.
Puncil Pencil The preferred writing utensil of wordsmiths...although some use a ballpoint pun
Pendulump Pendulum A dirt clod on a string
Upendulum Pendulum The mechanism of a grandfather clock that defies the laws of gravity in order to travel freely through space and time
Menguins Penguins Guys in tuxedos
Peninsulk Peninsula A landmass that's not an island
Penisula Peninsula An unusually shaped geographical formation (and proof that "no man is an island" - Ed)
Peanis Penis A pod to piss in
Henitent Penitent Campsite exclusively for gals.
Punitentiary Penitentiary Where people are confined for making bad jokes.
Pentacoastal Pentecostal Glossolalia on the beach
Pentecoastal Pentecostal Littoral Lutherans
Punthouse Penthouse Where to keep your flat bottomed boat
Puntimento Pentimento Change from the original version to another unique presentation.
Sentimento Pentimento Original feelings replaced by very different ones.
Poople People Humans
Prepperoni Pepperoni One item in a doomsday survival kit
Prepperoni Pepperoni Oily sausages for disaster stockpilers
Perambelate Perambulate When motorized transport is a better option
Operambulent Perambulent One's ability to sing louder than a full orchestra
Perkale Percale Bed sheets made of finely woven cabbage
Purceptible Perceptible Note worthy pocket book.
Percolatte Percolate A morning cup of espresso that only gives an urge to visit the toilet later in the day
Percollate Percolate To organize through filtration
Percushion Percussion What the drummer likes to sit on.
Peregrinotions Peregrinations So wasted, you think youre actually capable of flight
Herennial Perennial The eternal influence of one’s mother.
Perestrika Perestroika Russian soccer centre forward
Parfection Perfection 18 holes of golf without a single bogey or eagle or birdie
Perfactionist Perfectionist Someone who works hard at creating rifts between others
Perfectionwist Perfectionist A very fussy wordsmith
Pervformance Performance A flashing act
Perfum Perfume Scented vapes
Perflunctory Perfunctory Taking a test you know you will fail
Perpunctory Perfunctory Prefer to achieve everything in a positive, clever, sometimes amusing manner with definite pride and spirit.
Perpunctory Perfunctory When WPMI contributors offer "gems&" out of habit/duty.
Perpunctory Perfunctory Ability to create special words in a casual detached manner.
Pergolaw Pergola Building permit requirement for backyard structures
Peripathetic Peripatetic Poor wand'ring one! Though thou hast surely strayed, take heart of grace, thy steps retrace
Peripathetic Peripatetic To travel around in a pitiful way
Parissology Perissology Wordsmithing in France
Pelitonitis Peritonitis A severe neural disease caused by cycling with a large group at high speeds up and down mountains
Peritinkle Periwinkle The ringing of small, blue-violet bells
Parjury Perjury Lying about your golf score
Permaflost Permafrost A piece of cotton between the teeth that can't be dislodged
Permnfrost Permafrost Two hair treatments at once
Dermanence Permanence The state of having skin
Spermeate Permeate Impregnate
Parmutation Permutation When the definition of what’s “normal” keep changing
Spermutation Permutation Genetic variance
Permicious Pernicious A very bad hair day
Permicious Pernicious Having a harmful effect on one's hair, especially in way that leads to frizz, chemical damage, or a dated look
Perpetractor Perpetrator Miscreant farm vehicle
Perpetraitor Perpetrator One who perpetrates a treasonous act against his own country
Perpetraitor Perpetrator Those who, in the course of committing crimes, betray their country.
Pergetual Perpetual Never ending acts of imbecilic undeserved retribution.
Perpetumate Perpetuate That couple that always seems to be pregnant
Perpestuation Perpetuation The black sheep most gossiped about at large family gatherings
Pearps Perps Cat burglars who concentrate on very specific types of jewelry
Perseverence Perseverance How "perserverance" would have been speeled had "e" tried a little harder
Purseverate Perseverate Fixate on Fendi
Purseverence Perseverence The commitment to getting out the door on time searching for something that's already been packed in your bag
Parsnickety Persnickety Fussily imprecise
Persnickity Persnickety An especially fussy, fastidious, impossible to please or spoiled cat.
Kersona Persona Being of no redeeming qualities at all who only makes one curse.
Parsonality Personality The spiritual side of an entities being
Pursonalized Personalized Cat's unique sound
Personnelf Personnel Santa's hiring department
Perspiracious Perspicacious A sweaty wise man
Hersuasiveness Persuasiveness A wife's prerogative
Pfertinent Pertinent Germane but with a silent F
Pervart Pervert Works of art that have been lead astray
Pressimism Pessimism The sinking feeling one gets when paying attention to the news
Lessimist Pessimist Someone for whom everything falls short of their standards
Pissimist Pessimist One who is pissed and doesn't believe it will get any better.
Passimistic Pessimistic A passive person too pessimistic to care
Penticide Pesticide A spray that, when used correctly, will get you out of prison.
Pestsilence Pestilence The calm before the plague of locusts
Petithe Petite Less than 10 percent
Petitle Petite Nickname
Patrified Petrified Groped on the NY MTA
Petrifried Petrified Baptism by fire
Petrilied Petrified Terrified of being caught out telling an untruth
Petrofied Petrified The socio-political condition of being stuck in the distant past if one’s economy is based primarily on oil
Petrochomical Petrochemical Belief that one can sustain a 21st century economy on PV and fans
Petroll Petrol Fuel for a small outboard motor.
Petticat Petticoat A kitten
Pettiflogging Pettifogging Vending of worthless items
Prettifogging Pettifogging On dating apps, the act of placing undue emphasis on a woman’s appearance
Pettinest Pettiness To dwell with inconsequential objects, attitudes, and activities
Petulent Petulant Borrow "man's best friend"
Petuplant Petulant Awesome appreciation for the live gifts of nature that bring joy in your home and garden.
Pewb Pew A short and curly chair
Phantasmagoricalf Phantasmagorical [1] A otherworldly bovine baby;
[2] when an apparition suddenly moos at you
Phantome Phantom Ghostwritten book
Aphare Phare A dalliance with a flasher
Pharisew Pharisee Seamstress for Jewish religious leaders
Harmaceutical Pharmaceutical A drug with more disclosures and warnings than benefits to the patient
Harmacy Pharmacy An apothecary devoted to breaking the Hippocratic Oath
Phalmacy Pharmacy An apothecary who specializes in ED remedies
Pharmacys Pharmacy Drugstore in a major New York emporium
Phenomanon Phenomenon An occurrence that will arrive presently
Phearomone Pheromone Angst about having B O.
Pheromoane Pheromone Wailing by an ancient Egyptian king.
Philandearing Philandering Endearing oneself to several women with a horizontal intent!
Philanthropest Philanthropist A mosquito who donates blood.
Philanthrowist Philanthropist One who hurls money at every cause
Philanthrowpy Philanthropy Philanthropy in small amounts.
Philharmonica Philharmonic A concert mouth organ
Philosoppy Philosophy A rational study of sentimentality
Philossophy Philosophy The wisdom you learn from the extra money you spend when youre debts are not paid in time
Pilosophy Philosophy Words of wisdom inspired by consumption of hallucinogenic drugs.
Phlebotomissed Phlebotomised The blood tech who keeps stabbing you over and over and over…
Phlebottomy Phlebotomy Taking blood from behind
Phlegmattic Phlegmatic Upper-most sinus area
Phlogmatic Phlegmatic Punishment meted out dispassionately
Upho Pho A noodle soup that's out of this world
Ephobic Phobic Someone who is afraid of being hacked online
Phoner Phone When your phone sits sideways in your pocket
Phonatic Phonetic An enthusiast of sounds in human speech
Phonogenic Photogenic Someone who sounds way more attractive on the phone than they actually are in person.
Photone Photon Sound of light
Photoes Photos What a podiatrist takes
Photosinthesis Photosynthesis Scholarly writing on illicit photography
Phygician Physician A doctor who works magic
Physiognohmy Physiognomy Too much botox
Pie Pi Ratio of the circumferences of a dessert plate to one’s waistline
Piono Piano The result of forgetting to open one’s fly in the men’s room.
Pianofarte Pianoforte In music, when flatulence overcomes sharpulence
Picadill Picadilly A version of a traditional Spanish stew containing brined cucumbers
Picadorm Picador Where bullfighters bunk
Picadune Picayune A little sand hill
Piccolow Piccolo A bass piccolo
Ickles Pickles Kimchi
Pinkles Pickles Guava slices in vinegar
Picklint Pickling A common cause of unraveling
Pitnic Picnic One who creates his own acne scars
Prictionary Pictionary The game played when a person will not tell you why they are angry with you, forcing you to guess
Picturisque Picturesque Where art meets pornography
Piecemell Piecemeal A pelling mistake made in haste
Piggyjacked Piggybacked When you walk past the couch and your kid jumps on your back without warning
Pigmeant Pigment Clarifying your boorish partner’s comments
Pigmeant Pigment Wrong color
Pilanes Pilates The bicycle paths around MIT's Math/Science Complex are precisely 3.1416 feet wide.
Pilattes Pilates Exercise undertaken to shed excess weight gain due to consumption of numerous mochachinos
Polates Pilates A popular exercise regimen performed using a pole
Mileup Pileup An improved cultural environment.
Pillfer Pilfer Steal medication
Pillowright Pillowfight Maker of head cushions for sleeping
Pielot Pilot An aviator with a penchant for pastries
Piglot Pilot Designated helmsman for the day when pigs can fly
Pomples Pimples Magnificent, noteworthy acne
Oinkerton Pinkerton Truffle Detective
Punko Pinko Communist wordplay
Punochle Pinochle A card game in which each hand must be accompanied by wordplay
Pipedrench Pipewrench Water main break
Piqwant Piquant Desiring provocation or stimulus
Pirankha Piranha A small, Nile River fish with extremely sharp teeth, alternatively revered and feared
Pilates Pirates Low-impact buccaneers
Pissatorial Piscatorial Advice" written on bathroom stall walls
Piscene Piscine When the math club is THE place to be
Pistmires Pismires Swarming enraged ants
Potfall Pitfall Tripping over the bedpan that was supposed to be under your bed during the night
Pitiabule Pitiable A tiny, toothless terrier, more cow than bull, that wouldn't harm a fly
Pittiable Pitiable A toothless terrier
Itiful Pitiful Full of it
Mizzeria Pizzeria Indigestion after Italian food
Pizzacato Pizzicato Pluck strings with a cheese pie
Playcate Placate To take a vacation and not do any work at all, not even look at your email
Placebow Placebo Clip-on tie
Placebro Placebo Fake friend
Placego Placebo A false sense of self-esteem developed through years of earning “Participant” ribbons in competitions
Placebus Placebos Substitute for usual motor coach
Flacido Placido Domingo, when he could no longer hit the high Cs in "Di quella pira"
Playgiarism Plagiarism Where people plagiarize at will and think it's fun
Flague Plague A contagion of banners
Plargue Plague Plagiarize a previously expounded philisophical stance
Planktone Plankton The color of lumber
Flantation Plantation Where custard is grown
Plasticwart Plasticware An imperfection in moldable synthetic polymer
Platinumb Platinum A condition suffered by wait persons who grip the dishes too hard when serving customers-causing a loss of feeling in the hand and the subsequent dropping of the plate.
Flatitude Platitude Paradigm espoused by modern day members, of the Flat Earth Society
Flatitude Platitude A commonplace uttered while farting.
Platytude Platitude A duck-billed shibboleth
Platytude Platitude Egg laying mammal with moxie.
Platomic Platonic When friendship combusts
Plutonic Platonic Extra-terrestial love
Plaitoon Platoon A group of girls with braided hair
Flatypus Platypus Australian road kill
Platyphus Platypus Why its important to wash hands after touching animals
Flausible Plausible Most probably rife with error.
Slayground Playground Not for kids
Fleased Pleased To have been dishonestly convinced that leasing one's automobile was a better option than purchasing it
Fleasure Pleasure The satisfaction that dogs derive from being able to scratch their ears with their hind legs
Plebean Plebeian The pedestrian pinto, the lowly lentil, the common cannelini
Pleistoscene Pleistocene A museum diorama depicting an ice-age event
Plentifolly Plentifully Living on credit
Plethorax Plethora A bevy of chests
Plethorax Plethora Pot-belly
Splinth Plinth A statue erected in honour of a man with a lisp and a broken arm
Plumbingo Plumbing Suddenly discovering, after hours of frustrated investigation, the source of a pipe leak
Blump Plump The body size between zaftig and obese
Plumder Plunder Stolen stonefruit
Platocracy Plutocracy A nation ruled by philosophers
Plutocat Plutocrat A feline foil for a Disney cartoon dog
Plutocrate Plutocrat Where Walt Disney's dog sleeps
Bluviophile Pluviophile Lover of the color blue,my recessive eye color.
Fluviophile Pluviophile One who catches cold in the rain but doesn't mind it too much
Pneumoania Pneumonia The medical term for man flu
Pneumonica Pneumonia The windy friend
Docketbook Pocketbook Court calendar
Socketbook Pocketbook Electricians' text
Locketknife Pocketknife Preferred weapon for an elegant lady
Spockmarked Pockmarked Legacy bestowed upon children whose parents were adherents of the child -rearing practices of a famous paeditrician.
Plodcast Podcast A boring online interview
Podiatriste Podiatrist Someone who cries when slicing bonions
Podiatryst Podiatrist An illicit foot massage
Poediatrist Podiatrist Edgar Allan Poe’s secretary
Spodiatrist Podiatrist Nerdy unsocial with foot fetish.
Podietry Podiatry The practice of eating detergent pods.
Poeticalf Poetical Young bovine beatnik
Coindexter Poindexter An astute but dull banker
Pointdexter Poindexter Fingering a nerd
Pornsettias Poinsettias When nobody is home, the Christmas flowers watch X-rated movies.
Pintless Pointless Ever so lonesome, mournful and drear: a glassful of sorrows in a pub with no beer.
Poparity Polarity The extreme points between a religious church leader and an apostate church leader
Tolarization Polarization Serious effects of current extreme divisive beliefs and actions on our way of life.
Molaroids Polaroids Dental photographs
Volevault Polevault Rodent jumping
Policema Policeman A strict matriarch
Poloshed Polished The building where they store white balls used in Polo matches
Polate Polite Thoughtfully tardy
Poolite Polite Giving a courtesy flush
Poliptical Political Force in a government that moves in circles that always seem to return to the same point
Politicite Politicize Usually plagiarism
Palitics Politics Elected work for pals not their constituents
Politrics Politics Attacks and repression by a corrupt government against its natural enemies: the patriots and the foreigners.
Polkadote Polkadot Folk-dance mom
Pollutent Pollutant A trashy camper
Pollotion Pollution What you use to grease the hand of the elected official when you need a favor.
Polterfeist Poltergeist Spunky, lively apparition.
Poltergist Poltergeist The ghost of an idea
Polterheist Poltergeist Robbery committed by supernatural beings.
Polterygeist Poltergeist 1. A Foul Fowl 2. Possessed Pecker 3. Spectral Clucker
Polterygeist Poltergeist The spirit of a dead chicken
Polycamorous Polyamorous The condition of owning too many picture-taking devices
Polyarmory Polyamory No single weapon of choice.
Jolyglot Polyglot Joy and delight of being multilingual
Pollyglot Polyglot A multi-lingual parrot
Polygloat Polyglot A person who is smug about speaking many different languages
Polyglop Polyglot A cheap buffet
Polygot Polyglot Just bought a parrot
Pollygon Polygon A missing parrot
Pollynesia Polynesia My parrot can't remember anything
Holyp Polyp A benign guru with no sense of tumour
Pollyphonic Polyphonic Parrot pronunciation
Polatheist Polytheist Someone who doesn’t believe anything a politician says
Pomegranite Pomegranate The exotic fruit that looked so good at the store but dessicates to rock in your refrigerator
Pommelfhorse Pommelhorse Gymnastics apparatus found at the North Pole
Pompadoor Pompadour Ceremonial or dignified entrway
Pompadourk Pompadour Nerd with snazzy upswept hair style
Romposity Pomposity The innate ability to make everything fun
Pund Pond A pool of wordplay
Puntiff Pontiff Doug L. WPM's CEO CHEERS!!!
Puntificate Pontificate Papal double entendre
Spontificate Pontificate Spontaneously express one’s opinion in a dogmatic way, usually BS
Ponzification Pontification The late Bernie Madoff's method of paying off his investors.
Ponzification Pontification The art of persuasion with regard to highly questionable marketing schemes.
Poutification Pontification Purse-lipped pomposity
Pontifficator Pontificator One who poses as the last-word authority on any subject he’s addressing, whether invited to or not
Puntoon Pontoon Wordplay on watercraft
Phonytail Ponytail Hair extensions
Ponytrail Ponytail Manure
Popcord Popcorn [1] The string attaching the cork to the toy gun; [2] a parachute failure
Popscorn Popcorn The attitude of self-proclaimed music connoiseurs in regard to most songs found on current and recent hit lists.
Poppyclock Poppycock An untrustworthy timepiece
Popcicle Popsicle An elderly gentleman's bicycle
Poopulous Populous Constipated...or diarrheal
Porcupince Porcupine A rodent with both offensive and defensive weaponry
Porcupins Porcupine Quills
Cornographic Pornographic Filmed or written descriptions of the maize harvest
Pornigraphy Pornography The act of drawing suggestive images with a really fancy pen
Spornography Pornography Smut's smut (I thought of naming a particular type of smut as the possessive smut, such as the one that infests Zea fields in Nebraska, but that would be too corny.)
Purtend Portend Warning by your feline friends.
Poortent Portent (n) an omen of an unhappy camping trip
Portant Portent Not important or of interest. As in, "Taking a scrapbooking class is really portant to me."
Porkmanteau Portmanteau Pigskin briefcase
Portmantea Portmanteau A blend of teas favoured by stevedores
Gortraiture Portraiture Some Verismo sittings; Goya's "Disasters of War" etchings
Poseidont Poseidon No fish-fry tonight, dear
Proseur Poseur One who pretends to be a writer
Poseit Posit Declaring your superiority to others by your ostentatious dress and manner
Postcared Postcard No longer cares, even enough to send token communication.
Postchaste Posthaste That warranty has expired ...
Posthumorus Posthumous Dead funny
Posthumouse Posthumous Eradicating a rodent you thought you had already eliminated
Posthumorsly Posthumously Hilarious sendoff
Postmax Postman The charge for a first-class stamp (with insurance and tracking and overnight delivery and a mint on your pillow)
Pestmark Postmark The ugly blotch made by an insect on a stamp when we finally swat it to death.
Postmenoparsals Postmenopausals Mail carriers can't deliver heavy packages.
Post-Moldern Post-Modern Exhumed
Tpot Pot A tureen of cannabis
Poetage Potage Inverse alphabet soup
Polentate Potentate Autocratic corn mush
Potentater Potentate Top spud
Portential Potential When something has the potential for disaster
Protential Potential The potential of becoming a professional, e.g., since he has only one leg, his protential in the NFL is near zero.
Pettery Pottery Kiln-baked lap animals that cost nothing to feed
Pettery Pottery Beswick figurines
Puttery Pottery The act of looking busy while accomplishing very little
Potti Potto A tiny mammal that when frightened hides under the bed
Polltry Poultry Which came first, the chickenshit politician or the egg on his face
Poutiler Poutier Immortalizing the pout in ceramic squares
Proutine Poutine The compulsion to order that single thing on the menu that guarantees digestive distress
Plowerfully Powerfully Describing the potential of a corrupt government to overturn a nation
Apox Pox High jinx, the highest
Practicat Practical A sensible feline
Proctical Practical Asinine
Pragmanic Pragmatic One's handling of situation is insanely chaotic instead of mature, practical behavior
Pragnatic Pragmatic Taking the approach that there are no valid solutions for avoiding insects
Pregmatic Pragmatic Fertile
Pregmatic Pragmatic The pragmatism that comes from a missed period
Prigmatic Pragmatic Conveniently self-righteous
Plankster Prankster A pirate captain who loves to play jokes on his crew
Preramble Preamble The first ninety minutes of a filibuster
Preramble Preamble Introduction to a political explanation
Pregipitation Precipitation A swindler's plans
Presipitation Precipitation Indecision over using a drinking straw or not
Precockious Precocious King of the pin, especially a young male.
Trecocious Precocious Unique growth schedule of deciduous flora
Precurser Precursor Bad golf shot
Procursor Precursor Favoring using a mouse over a touch screen interface
Credator Predator Someone who will hunt you down like an animal if you owe them money
Predicamint Predicament A bad situation that, regardless, you manage to come out looking good
Predictament Predicament I just knew I`d end up in this unpleasant situation.
Predicktable Predictable When you know that someone will turn out to be a real prick
Predaction Prediction Taking back words before you say them
Preemitent Preeminent The rumbling buildup that comes before the eruption
Prefacture Prefecture Government offical who has all of the answers to tax code
Prefurred Preferred The pronouns by which your cat or dog wish to be addressed
Profix Prefix Sports events you should never bet on
Premedicated Premeditated The act of purposely committing an unlawful act while under the influence of a prescription drug.
Premaditation Premeditation The act of cleaning your house before the cleaning people arrive
Preminstrual Premenstrual An ovature
Premuse Premise Acting without thinking it through
Premunition Premonition A mysterious glimpse of the future (premonition) that tells one to START FIRING
Prenaptial Prenuptial An agreement between couples before sleeping together
Peeoccupied Preoccupied While urinating can’t hear someone talking; can’t do something else while into a long urinating session..
Prepounderance Preponderance Excess money, especially British
Proposterous Preposterous Professional liar
Prepubscent Prepubescent How you smelled before you went to the bar
Peerogative Prerogative The right to tinkle
Prescrimption Prescription Generic drugs
Prestription Prescription The advice a mom gives her potentially wayward daughter
Presibent President A corrupt leader
Resident President New title of the U.S. Head of State after losing an election
Presstige Prestige Citric excellence
Pestigious Prestigious Annoying constantly boasting of great success and importance.
Presno Presto Not fast but slow.
Pretermnaturally Preternaturally Early delivery that’s not by C-section
Prevaridate Prevaricate Use someone else's picture on match.com
Revaricate Prevaricate The practice of habitual liars
Piapism Priapism An erection that lasts for 3.1416 hours.
Priaplus Priapus Tipped the bottle for that audible "last pill" but one had also stuck to the sides
Premadonna Primadonna Before Madonna.
Crimate Primate A kleptomaniac monkey
Primotive Primitive Best Cro-Magnon
Primodeniture Primogeniture Your son and heir's first tooth
Prifordial Primordial The pre existence of Automobiles
Prioritees Priorities The spot from which the top golfers hit their drives
Prigory Priory A nunnery for the self-righteous
Privaye Private That place online where all of your private data is securely stored.
Privyledge Privilege The little shelf in the bathroom where you can keep spare toilet rolls and such
Probbity Probity Medical term: When physican or nurse probes just a tiny bit.
Problemattic Problematic A troublesome room at the top of the house
Roblematic Problematic Costume malfunction
Precrastinate Procrastinate Takes action first, not never
Procraptinate Procrastinate Putting off s*** that you don’t want to do
Procrastimate Procrastinate Someone who encourages your tardiness
Procreastinate Procrastinate Put off having children
Procrastineating Procrastinating To put off doing something by eating
Brocrastination Procrastination Putting off calling your little brother
Procrashtination Procrastination The cause, result and destination of delayed braking
Procrastibation Procrastination To put off doing something in order to pleasure yourself.
Procrestination Procrastination Sleeping while you don't do stuff
Procrestination Procrastination V. Brushing your teeth….later.
Procrustination Procrastination Putting off your stretching exercises
Procrashtinator Procrastinator Fervent advocate of self-driving vehicles.
Proctologest Proctologist Bad joke made by a proctologist after an exam
Prodcure Procure Suppository
Produser Producer Bully with a stick
Produck Product Ritz quacker
Profuct Product A product that is destined for failure
Profssional Professional Amateur (from a "Help Wanted" sign. "Apply With "E")
Professore Professor A muscle condition resulting from prolonged exposure to college students
Prefound Profound Lost
Profunditty Profundity Short songs written by really deep intellectuals
Prodgeny Progeny Intense urging by "wanna be" grandparents to their adult children to have babies.
Pregnosis Prognosis The ability to predict a pregnancy will yield another boy.
Frognosticate Prognosticate To predict a plague of frogs
Prognosticake Prognosticate Staring at a bakery box that’s taped shut and wondering what dessert is inside
Propnostication Prognostication The art of freeing up a stuck propeller on a Cessna.
Frognostications Prognostications Tadpole premonitions
Prograsm Program The spontaneous proliferation of new programs following excessive stimulation of executive leadership
Prohibite Prohibit Something you shouldn’t eat
Proliterate Proliferate A movement set up to counteract the dying art of good writing engendered by social media
Promenada Promenade Covid-era school dance
Promisecuity Promiscuity Promising over and over what it is impossible to promise
Premiscuous Promiscuous When you are loose ahead of your time
Premiscuous Promiscuous 1] Ever in search of a new theory
2] Never spending two nights under the same roof
Promisses Promises Promises given\promisses materialized
Promissorry Promissory To apologize for not paying a note on time
Promulgape Promulgate Joy proclaimed on viewing photos and videos of you and your date's 1980's high school prom.
Bronoun Pronoun A noun, used in replacement of a proper noun, by that category of people known as 'bros'. Includes "dude", "buddy", "bro" and "chief", among others.
Pronounse Pronounce (V) To articulate without mentioning the article
Pronounciate Pronunciate To pronounce a word correctly as well as to enunciate the word properly.
Prepaganda Propaganda Expensive private school marketing tools
Probeller Propeller Quasimodo
Gropensity Propensity Autocrat's tendacy of achieving constant massive failures!
Prephylactic Prophylactic Adolescent castration
Brophylaxis Prophylaxis Action taken to prevent mutual male friendships.
Propinequity Propinquity The fine art of ensuring that your assets are similar in value to those of your neighbours
Propiety Propriety Megachurch
Propullsion Propulsion Going backward
Prozaic Prosaic A supplement that makes you feel better after eating your words
Proselylize Proselytize Horrific deceit of cults
Prosparity Prosperity Achieving equal wealth with the Jones's who live next door
Prodstate Prostate Flomax(tm)
Prostaute Prostate When confronted with a really good reason to pucker
Prystate Prostate What your urologist does to assess its health
Prostratitis Prostatitis Condition resulting from having too much to drink
Prostimute Prostitute An escort who will never speak ill of you.
Prostituition Prostitution Working the streets to help pay for college
Proctagonist Protagonist Lead colorectal surgeon
Protangonist Protagonist A person you both revere and hate equally.
Brotectorate Protectorate A group of male friends who watch out for each other
Protegeese Protégées The first waterfowls created.
Prototypo Prototype The first misspelling
Pretrusion Protrusion What it is before it sticks out
Protuberdance Protuberance The party after the monetary prizes are awarded to inner-tube racers
Provenonce Provenance ... but not the 2nd time. Failed the test of time
Grovocative Provocative Current increase in infuriating dialogue and behavior aimed at creating chaos and unrest.
Prodocative Provocative One who is efficiently alluring. A blending of productive and provocative
Provokst Provost An easily annoyed administrator
Perufrock Prufrock A pollera, a large one-piece skirt worn over rolled trousers at the seaside throughout Spanish-speaking Latin America, immortalised in verse by TS Elliot as "A lovely sarong".
Pruined Pruned The losing entries in a blindfold topiary contest
Punes Prunes Ancient word play
Pseudonymfs Pseudonyms Ancient Greek female deities who had several aliases based on their various natural habitats.
Psychedeli Psychedelic The convenience store where you can purchase the illegal drug of your choice.
Psychiatryst Psychiatrist Illicit romance between mental health professionals
Psychick Psychic A very mental gal
Psychsic Psychic A clairverbatim
Psychopith Psychopath A tersely cogent whack-job
Psychomomatic Psychosomatic Blame one’s mother for all their emotional turmoil
Psychatic Psychotic He's crazy but likes to talk about it.
Pubarty Puberty Pictures on the walls of drinking establishments
Publicon Publican IRS agent
Bublication Publication A magazine about champagne
Publush Publish In other words, a Dewars sunburn
Rublish Publish Defame in print
Prudendum Pudendum Type of person who is coy or embarrassed about this subject
Pugilisp Pugilist Mike Tyson
Puglist Pugilist A roster of dogs available for adoption at various SPCA branches throughout the country
Pungilist Pugilist One involved in word spar
Plugnacious Pugnacious Celebrity's endless extolling of next project.
Hulchritude Pulchritude Male counterpart of physical beauty.
Mulchritude Pulchritude Preserving your good looks with a combination of compost and sawdust
Pulchridude Pulchritude A person that is dazzled by outer beauty
Pulversize Pulverize To make something small enough to fit into a too-small container by smashing the heck out of it.
Pumpgin Pumpkin A liquor siphoning process
Pumpkind Pumpkin A person who is particularly nice to pumpkins.
Spunctual Punctual Intense "fire brand" always on time.
Puncturation Punctuation Periods and other grammatical separation markers pressed overly heavily into the page by the writer
Punktuation Punctuation The word for that group of typed characters that are substituted for swear words in copy.
Puntuation Punctuation 4th and long
Punditz Pundit Scatterbrain with absolutely no expertise
Pundit Pundits To create a new definition for a word in order to make a clever wordplay. Example sentence: “I took that word and I pundit.”
Fungent Pungent Positive, upbeat, amusing guy
Punguent Pungent Going off at a tangyent on a salve platter
Funishment Punishment Joy of guilty getting convicted
Punytive Punitive A punishable weakness
Pupills Pupils Anxiety and stress reduction medication, used by classroom teachers everywhere, to get them through the school day
Puppetter Puppeteer Dog lover
Curblind Purblind A) Not having noticed the junkyard dog
Pureek Puree [1] Unashamed fright;
[2] a genuinely nasty odor
Punfling Purfling To throw out wordplay as quickly as it comes to you
Gurgatory Purgatory Suffering one's wattle
Pungatory Purgatory Where wordplay masters await Judgment
Purgastory Purgatory Excuse for delayed entrance into the "Pearly Gates"
Purgeatory Purgatory Hellish, seemingly eternal vomiting.
Purrgatory Purgatory Waiting room for naughty cats
Purrgatory Purgatory Final abode of those d*** cats who keep us awake with their nocturnal mewing.
Curloin Purloin Cowardly mean being deprives us all of joy.
Porpose Purpose A marine mammal with exceptional sense of direction
Purrsuit Pursuit Fur
Pusillyanimous Pusillanimous Lacking serious courage
Cutative Putative One certainly regarded adorable.
Guzzlement Puzzlement Not understanding that you have had too much to drink.
Pigmalion Pygmalion A British movie about a big bad wolf who " 'uffs and puffs and blows yer 'ouse down" – but can't. Until Professor Henry Higgins gives him elocution lessons prior to a hearty bacon breakfast.
Pygmilion Pygmalion The complex relationship between money and the US Congress.
Pygmites Pygmies Short-tempered stunt-men
Pygamy Pygmy A swine with two wives
Pyroclassic Pyroclastic Stephen King’s “Carrie”
Pyralitic Pyrolitic Lit.
Pithagoras Pythagoras Vigorous discussions involving 3 Greeks
Quadrants Quadrant Simultaneous tantrums of quadruplets.
Quagmile Quagmire 1.6 km of swamp
Qualifiction Qualification Typical result of required workplace training
Qualiflying Qualifying Clearing TSA at the airport
Squality Quality Of squalid quality
Squandary Quandary Difficult situation worsened by foolish extravagance
Quartantine Quarantine [1] Forced health sequestration divided into four equal time blocks or activities each day; [2] 1/4 of a gallontine
Quarterbock Quarterback South African trying out for US Pro team
Quarterhorde Quarterhorse Genghis Khan’s Mongolian army after the latest government Defense budget cuts
Quartzer-Horse Quarter-Horse A speedy steed that you'd expect to have a spring in its step, but doesn't.
Quasari Quasar Power dress
Quasimotoe Quasimoto Disfigured digit of the foot
Quasy Quay Feeling seasick prior to boarding
Queery Query To ask a friend if they are lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, queer or questioning.
Noun: The question being asked to learn a friend's sexual orientation.
Quesadillac Quesadilla A fancy car that's the whole enchilada.
Squibble Quibble Drawing by someone with a lisp
Quicksend Quicksand Instant electronic transfer of funds, information, communication, etc.
Quacksilver Quicksilver Fake precious metal
Quick-Twitted Quick-Witted Making a hasty and embarassing comment due to not first thinking it through
Equills Quills Digital pens for mathematicians
Quinona Quinoa Winona's South American sister
Quaintessential Quintessential Historical respectful adherence to the principles of a Constitution
Squintessential Quintessential Corrective Spectacles
Squintessential Quintessential When you can’t see a critical difference
Squintet Quintet Five myopic musicians
Quislingo Quisling Dialect of traitors
Quizling Quisling To win by fraud
Quexotic Quixotic Irrationally alluring
Quipotic Quixotic Impulsive witty remarks
Quizotic Quixotic Intense anxiety caused by taking any academic exam.
Quoitsy Quoits A gesture of deferential respect prior to being presented with the trophy for winning a ladies' ring-throwing contest
Quorump Quorum Result of sitting through long meetings
Quotad Quota Rather insignificant fixed shared amount.
Quotha Quota A limit on the number of Shakespearean references you can drop into a conversation
Rabbot Rabbit A clockwork talmudist
Dabblerouser Rabblerouser Part time instigator
Grabid Rabid Intense constant grifting of funds from naive donors
Racketear Racketeer What you use to impress the judge that you’re sorry about the scam you pulled.
Racketearing Racketeering Jewellery made to match a tennis bracelet
Racketears Racketeers An on court breakdown at Wimbledon
Haconteur Raconteur Cyber-rogue eager to recount his online treachery.
Rackonteur Raconteur One who is skilled at telling stories about boobs
Racounteur Raconteur A person who counts the number of times you repeat the same story.
Raggamuffin Ragamuffin A poorly decorated cupcake.
Bagnarok Ragnarok The state of chaos that comes from owning too many reusable shopping bags.
Braillery Raillery Good-natured teasing via the tactile alphabet
Grailroad Railroad The route to the holy chalice
Brainbow Rainbow An accessory that holds bright ideas together
Traincloud Raincloud Evidence of a locomotive traveling through the desert
Braincoat Raincoat A waterproof toupée
Trainy Rainy An apprentice who’s still wet behind the ears
Hambunctious Rambunctious Rowdy at Christmas dinner
Lambunctious Rambunctious Like a lively, noisy, boisterous young sheep.
Rhambunctious Rambunctious Once full of energy; now sapped by rheumatism
Ramifucation Ramification The outgrowth of a two-car automobile accident whereby a claimant gets screwed by an insurance company
Rampaint Rampant What Jackson Pollack does best
Cramparts Ramparts How sausage casings are filled
Rimrod Ramrod Someone who steals cars in order to possess or sell their expensive rims
Gramshackle Ramshackle A restraining device used in the story “Fifty Shades of Grey Hair”
Rumshackle Ramshackle Caught planking with Captain Morgan
Branchero Ranchero One who wrangles trees
Grancid Rancid Spoiled rotten grandchild.
Grandom Random When a senior citizen does something unexpected and completely against the rules of logic. i.e. it was completely grandom when the old man drove the wrong direction down the drive-thru lane.
Randimly Randomly Lighting that flickers on and off indiscriminately.
Transomware Ransomware Your plumber’s jeans as s/he is bent, kneeling under the counter
Rakist Rapist One who either practices or preaches raking the forests to prevent forest fires
Crapper Rapper Deliverer of rhyme in the toilet
Napper Rapper Somnolent rap singer
Crapscallion Rapscallion A rascal who sits down to take a leek
Wrapscallion Rapscallion Low-cal lunch
Crapture Rapture Brief moment of bliss which often follows a perfect bowel movement
Ratiffication Ratification The process leading up to a fight between two rats
Rationale Rational The practice of a wife unfairly restricting the amount of beer that her husband may imbibe.
Travishing Ravishing When popular opinion says something is beautiful that is actually repulsive
Reelism Realism Cinematic fantasy worlds
Realastic Realistic A flexible view of reality
Reaility Reality Virtual Reality
Repoot Reboot Initiates the second flush
Preborn Reborn That twinkle in your father's eye
Precalcitrant Recalcitrant Rebelling against future orders
Recalcitruant Recalcitrant A disobedient pupil who moreover truants from school often
Recrapitulate Recapitulate To summarize the main points of a bullshit argument
Rechess Recess What the studious kids do during the school lunch hour
Recidivisma Recidivism That mysterious force that draws ex-cons back to a life if crime
Reciprocake Reciprocate The left over party cake you give neighbors out of guilt because they always give you theirs
Reciprocat Reciprocate The art of responding positively to a feline’s display of affection
Rectal Recital A recital without the soloist
Recommand Recommend A suggestion that one may not decline
Reconditz Recondite One totally incapable of understanding anything at all.
Reconnloiter Reconnoiter Taking your sweet time submitting a completed intelligence report
Wreconnoiter Reconnoiter To scout out a junk yard looking for spare parts
Recurement Recrement Medical term: When procedure or operation needs to be repeated
Wrecktangle Rectangle The Bermuda Triangle after it has collected one too many vessels.
Wrectangle Rectangle A quadrilateral runs his car into a tree...now he's a polygoner
Rectfired Rectified The successful state of a problem resolution achieved by firing the person responsible for the original problem.
Rectiffy Rectify The attempt to fix or address something. The outcome could go either way.
Trectify Rectify To correct a situation by an arduous journey on foot.
Rectalinear Rectilinear The characteristic of something that keeps your @ss in line.
Rectalinear Rectilinear Moving in a direction straight toward the backside.
Rectidude Rectitude A cool guy of upright character
Rectidude Rectitude When a proctologist makes an error
Trectitude Rectitude Life’s arduous journey for Honesty and Integrity.
Recyclink Recycling The sound emanating from the recycle bin when a dropped bottle strikes another bottle.
Redaft Redact Editing to remove only the dumb parts
Redumption Redemption The act of forgiving God for polluting our planet with a superfluity of stupid people
Edundancy Redundancy The act of emailing and FB chatting (and/or texting) to the same person at the same time
Predundant Redundant On the cusp of repeating yourself
Refundant Redundant Gals, you are entitled to money back from Anti-Wrinkles lotions that never work!!
Retux Redux Thrifty guy chose tto rewear his formal attire from his previous failed marriage to his upcoming future wedding.
Reeduction Reeducation The gradual disappearance of stalk plants from wetlands
Reeferee Referee A dopey arbiter
Reeferee Referee Cannabis quality manager
Reverence Reference A specialized handbook on a country, the definitive work, often referred to as the Bible for that country.
Reeferendum Referendum To toke or not to toke. That is the question
Refereedum Referendum Discussion among game officials to decide on a call
Referendumb Referendum Just because most people choose something doesn’t make it a good idea
Definery Refinery WPM Invitational
Refinnery Refinery Reattachment surgery for fish
Preflux Reflux To know in advance that you are going to burp
Refirmatory Reformatory A fat farm
Refleshed Refreshed Had plastic surgery
Refleshing Refreshing Filleting the fillet
Refringerator Refrigerator A new process for re-growing lost hair wherein one places ones head in a refrigerator for lengthy periods
Reefuel Refuel Coral
Megale Regale Self absorbed being who constantly talks of oneself at the exclusion of others.
Reguard Regard A watchman worth a second look
Regarbless Regardless Setting out naked and carefree
Rugatta Regatta Flying carpet races
Regiminted Regimented Packaging of thin chocolate-covered Girl Scout cookies into plastic trays
Pregret Regret Knowing you'll later wish you hadn't
Prehearse Rehearse The funeral home
Preincarnation Reincarnation Flower seeds.
Preincarnation Reincarnation 9 months of pregnancy leading to birth
Reincatnation Reincarnation Why cats have 9 lives
Repincarnation Reincarnation Having to reattach the boutonniere.
Raindeer Reindeer Arctic version of cats and dogs.
Reendeer Reindeer Make oneself be loved again.
Reiterdate Reiterate To repeatedly ask someone to agree to a meeting
Rejointer Rejoinder Reefer repartee
Relationshops Relationships A red light district
Relax Relay To revisit Los Angeles
Reluctrance Reluctance 1. An unwillingness to be hypnotised
Relactant Reluctant A woman who has a second baby but isn't quite ready to nurse again
Relucktant Reluctant Hesitant to keep gambling after winning a big jackpot.
Pemailing Remailing The time saving and highly efficient practice of sending and receiving emails while going to the bathroom.
Remaine Remain When eating lettuce these are the little brown bits at the end of the leaf that you throw away
Romains Remains The tiny little leaves in the middle of a head of lettuce that no one wants to eat
Remarx Remark Statements uttered when a communist group comengels. They are spoken without staling, streamlening their ideas for the masses, lest someone arrives at the conclusion that the ideology being trotskyed out could only be believed by a total ze-ding-dong.
Remembrr Remember To recall memories of colder weather
Remindeer Reminder A prompter for a banterlope
Remimiscing Reminiscing 1. Memories of times pissed.
or for the non-alcoholics.
2. The nostalgia of past memories never to be shared and rarely thought of.
Romnants Remnants Bytes left over from scraps of memory
Tremuneration Remuneration Payment in the form of planting forests to overcome climate change.
Rentaissance Renaissance The present era where for many they can’t afford to buy a home so they must lease instead
Trendezvous Rendezvous The IN place
Refewables Renewables The scant remaining currency bills in your wallet, having succumbed to the notion it was ever "free" energy
Renewel Renewal Updating your jewelry box.
Renoun Renown To take a new name in order to escape fame
Departee Repartee When your friends invite you to leave the party
Reparteen Repartee Witty/clever comments by sharp adolescent
Epeated Repeated When a task has been done online more than once
Repollant Repellant Insecticide which kills love bugs on voting day
Repenance Repentance Being perpetually sorry for something, and visibly beating yourself up for it
Repercurssion Repercussion A cursed repercussion
Repercushions Repercussions Softening of the consequences for bad behavior
Respertoire Repertoire Songs from an iron lung
Replacemen Replacement People substituted in replacement of people missing. Eg: I just knew I was one of the replacemen at the party since others had been invited to *the* party. I felt bad being just a replaceman
Replicar Replica Exact copy of an old automobile.
Reposses Reposses Vigilantes secured for services again
Reaprehensible Reprehensible Gain from an apalling act.
Repretensible Reprehensible Current troubled times create intense stressful emotions.
Retrobate Reprobate A person of ill repute with a history.
Repsychling Repsyching The never ending processing of our emotions
E-Publicans Republicans Politicians who drink online
Dequest Request Retract the question
Frequest Request Friend request
Prequiem Requiem A ceremony for a living and robust person for him to know the sort of insults that people will withhold at the final ceremony. He may be given a prethumous award.
Requiremint Requirement Necessary breath freshener
Mequisition Requisition Mental instability of believing everyone counts on you personally to plug the gap in supply chain disruption.
Raquiter Requiter Someone who repays kindness with stolen votes
Residuent Resident A former tenant who still has a key and is occasionally found sound asleep in a drunken stupor on the sofa in the mornings
Residude Residue Hipster
Resisdance Resistance Wallflower
Mesolute Resolute Incompetence destroys ancient musical instrument.
Lesolution Resolution Proper voice-leading from the lowered 6th scale degree to the fifth scale degree
Reasonate Resonate To prove a point over and over and over
Respectablet Respectable Convenient size, easy to move about over regular computer
Restauratour Restaurateur Visiting all the cafes in town
Brestitution Restitution Anything done to make up for staring at a woman’s chest
Crestitution Restitution When a surfer loses the wave before even riding it
Restlessnest Restlessness Home for fledglings
Vestoration Restoration Remaking a waistcoat
Restrupture Restructure Oh no! You're taking a nap and your appendix bursts.
Yesumé Resumé 1] Granting permission
Reasurrection Resurrection Sildenafil
Jesusciate Resuscitate Festival celebrating the life, death, and life of Lazarus
Retailiate Retaliate Buying something that you don't necessarily need just to get even with someone.
Retailiation Retaliation Price wars
Retickulation Reticulation The revelation that there is a tick on you again
Metinue Retinue Purpose of dating services.
Retinude Retinue An unclad entourage
Vetinue Retinue An animal doctor's assistants
Retiredment Retirement The physical change when you retire and begin to relax
Pretort Retort (v.) To respond to an argument before your opponent has finished making it. See also: “prebuttal” (n.)
Pretract Retract To pull back or withdraw before necessary.
Retributton Retribution An eye for an eyelet
Retrobution Retribution The act of avenging oneself whilst wearing bell-bottoms and platforms
Retweat Retweet Retwact in 140 letters or less
Ravelation Revelation Realizing that your coming apart at the seams.
Prevenge Revenge Getting back at someone for something they haven't done to you yet, but you know they will eventually
Revelnue Revenue Money that brings one great pleasure.
Revenude Revenue When the total sales of your business is valued at less than the value of the clothes on your body.
Reveree Revere A guru officiating at a football match
Breverence Reverence Lacking in any manner of respect.
Rhiostat Rheostat A device used in homes in a Brazilian city to control the temperature
Rhectoric Rhetoric The art of discourse
Rhetoxic Rhetoric Hateful talk!
Grhetorical Rhetorical A greeting where you don't necessarily want or need a reply i.e. How was your day?
Rheumantic Rheumatic Curled up together and unable to disengage
Rheumyr Rheumy Eye-watering gossip
Whinegold Rhinegold Teutonic whingefest over a river of gold
Rhonoceros Rhinoceros This large mammal surprises people by resurfacing in a European river
Shinoceros Rhinoceros An irradiated ungulate
Rhinoclastic Rhinoplastic Pertaining to fossilized fragments of horned ungulates
Phododendron Rhododendron The genus of shrub on which rice noodles are grown
Rhodomontage Rhodomontade Your favourite photographs of your lovely flowering bushes
Rhose Rhos Relating to or characterized by a distinctive pronunciation of the 'r' sound, especially in certain dialects or languages; rhotic
Rhubarf Rhubarb Yup
Rhuemantic Rhuematic Afflictionate
Crhyme Rhyme Wretched rap
Rybald Ribald Seedless bread
Dribaldry Ribaldry Obscene slobber
Ricrochet Ricochet When the stretchiness of the yarn and the inattention of a hobbyist combine to launch a needleworking hook as a projectile into a dangerous circuit of the walls and cupboards
Aridicule Ridicule Scorndry
Ridicle Ridicule Truck that removes anything we no longer want to keep
Ridicure Ridicule Laughter used as the best medicine
Ridickulous Ridiculous Men in porn videos
Ridiculois Ridiculous Superman's crazy ex girlfriend
Ridoculous Ridiculous The patient’s characterization of a bad physician diagnosis
Riduculous Ridiculous (Adj.) Absolutely over the top or an absurdly difficult task or objective
Pigmarole Rigmarole Rolling in the mud with a pig
Rigmaroll Rigmarole A small bread loaf that is unduly complicated to produce
Rismarole Rigmarole No matter the care in cooking, never having your risotto come out just right.
Randerpest Rinderpest A viragol cattleist
Ringleaver Ringleader Hanging up on unidentified phone calls
Wrioting Rioting Writing full of vitriol
Ripowste Riposte A counter comment with extra punch
Dripples Ripples Ripples caused by a drip
Bisible Risible Lawsuits traditionally considered silly and frivolous now have become profitable for the plaintiff because of defendants' fear of definite retribution.
Brisqué Risqué Winter outdoors Chesterfield rugby
Britzy Ritzy Like Buckingham Palace
Wivalry Rivalry Problems with polygamy
Riverbred Riverbed How many freshwater creatures come to be
Brizz Rizz An urbane Brisbaneite
Frizz Rizz Your hair on a humid day
Kizz Rizz An intense slurpy, smoochy experience.
Mizz Rizz Phonic spelling of Ms.
Reizz Rizz A languid holiday cruise in Deutschland
Rioz Rizz A brief nap in Brazil
Rizzk Rizz Flirting with Death
Rizzl Rizz To possess and exude rizz, as in he rizzls, she rizzls, they rizzl
Rizzy Rizz Less fancy and upscale than ritzy.
Ruzz Rizz Flirting by pretending to be charismatic
Ryzz Rizz Pro-Choice’s call to fight.
Rzzz Rizz The charisma of a well-turned derrière
Tizz Rizz A brief melt-down.
Zizz Rizz Being charismatic exhausts me so much that I am ready for a snooze.
Broadrunner Roadrunner Overweight marathonist
Roadtripe Roadtrip A pig on the highway
Rebot Robot Robot Clone
Robotica Robotic An android dream of electric sheep
Roebust Robust A breast enhancement purchased at Sears
Rocketchip Rocketship [1] Bits of a spaceship's heat shield;
[2] a crack in the windshield of a spaceship
Rockstart Rockstar Lava, for one
Rococoa Rococo A light, highly-ornamented and chocolaty style of music from 18th-century France
Olodex Rolodex A comprehensive dictionary and reference book specifically focused on the Olympic Games
Rogaine Romaine A head of lettuce with hairy mold all over it
Romanx Roman Caesar’s cat
Womano Romano Elmer Fudd's favowite cheese
Aromantics Romantics Pheromones
Bromcom Romcom A genre of movies based round the relationship between two male characters
Oofer Roofer A disaster magnet
Oofline Roofline Tug-of-war
Zroom Room A 21st century place and means of communication
Rosemany Rosemary An especially prolific flower bush
Roastrum Rostrum A public speaking platform from which the audience is castigated
Brotate Rotate To change your best friend on a regular basis
Wrotation Rotation The transcript of an oration
Rotinda Rotunda A dating site for fat people
Roustabut Roustabout The next-door Jones’ going at it hammer and tongs
Coux Roux An insurrection by any other spelling is still one!!
Irsvp Rsvp Letter informing you that you’re being audited
Rubixcon Rubicon Noun - The point of no return when you give up on solving a Rubix Cube and rearrange the stickers instead
Rubrick Rubric When the assignment outweighs the purview of the course
Trude Rude Something that is true but is best left unsaid
Prudimental Rudimental Primarily priggish about decorum
Ruedimentary Rudimentary Basic regret or a basic French street
Erue Rue The feeling of regret after sending an inappropriate email
Ruefuel Rueful Fanning the flames of one's sorrow, shame, or regret
Puffian Ruffian Someone who thinks he is a tough guy but he only talks big.
Rugly Rugby A game played by a group of fearsome looking men with broken noses and cauliflower ears
Arugelach Rugelach A pastry made with leafy plants instead of cream cheese.
Raination Ruination England
Uruined Ruined Failing to pass muster having already passed water
Pruins Ruins Buildings that are out of plum
Drule Rule Measurable length of saliva hanging from corner of mouth when you wake up in public
Ruele Rule A Rule you regret not heeding or obeying
Cruler Ruler Instrument to measure degrees of mean
Rumpa Rumba A Latin dance with extra hip action
Duminate Ruminate Serious negative thoughts of the future
Ruminhate Ruminate Loathing something or someone while brooding over what one assumes is wrong with them
Ruminute Ruminate To think long and hard over the most minute details of a situation, specifically to the point of actively walking headfirst into walls/doors (we prefer opaque ones, glass will be accepted on a rolling basis).
Trumour Rumour What a Rumour becomes once confirmed or proved to be true.
Rushians Russians Soviet sprinters
Trustic Rustic The penchant of rural Americans for leaving their doors unlocked and their keys in the car.
Rutabaa Rutabaga A turnip shaped like a sheep
Rutabago Rutabaga Ethanol-fueled motor home
Sabbathe Sabbath To wash oneself each weekend
Sabbotical Sabbatical Sailing vacation for university lecturers
Sabotrage Sabotage Getting screwed by the exchange rate
Sapotage Sabotage When the waiter spits in the soup
Saccharind Saccharin The crust which has developed on what remains of on an obsolete sugar substitute
Sackharine Saccharine The unreal sweetness of seeing the opposing team’s quarterback flattened
Sackclot Sackcloth Kidney stone
Shacrifice Sacrifice The act of eschewing fun activities in favor of practicing free throws so one’s basketball team doesn’t lose because they keep fouling you intentionally
Socrifice Sacrifice To throw out a fine sock when its matching sock is damaged
Sackrilege Sacrilege The plunder and destruction of a temple.
Sucrosanct Sacrosanct Sacred sugar; sometimes used to sweeten holy water
Saydist Sadist A person who takes delight and pleasure in saying things that hurt other people.
Seafari Safari Expedition to observe dolphins, whales and other large mammals
Hagacious Sagacious Although intelligent, sadly slovenly and unkempt.
Stagacious Sagacious Gal who only selects wise and discerning males for diverse roles.
Saging Sagging The process of storing wisdom in wrinkles
Saladmander Salamander Unexpected protein in your greens
Sailient Salient The relevance of boating
Scalinity Salinity Indicative of one's level of expertise in using musical modes in improvisation or composition
Tsaliva Saliva Uncontrollable dribbling after a wave of nausea
Palivate Salivate Hang out with friends
Salivat Salivate A spittoon
Salman Salmon A fishy character.
Salmonilla Salmonella An ice cream flavor made from Alaskan salmon.
Psaltiness Saltiness Having the characteristics of religious poetry
Palubrious Salubrious Wonderous benefits of having dear and longtime friends.
Salvotion Salvation Artillery saves the day!
Banctimonious Sanctimonious How CEOs of major financial institutions look down on those of the lower classes and other minorities
Spanctimonious Sanctimonious Current extreme pious hypocrisy is deserving of a "spanking".
Stanctimonious Sanctimonious The horrendous stench of utter htypocrisy!!
Scandals Sandals Shoes worn during an adulterous affair
Stapient Sapient Remain wisely cogent by engaging in word and puzzle activities.
Sapontification Saponification Soapbox Sermon
Sarchasm Sarcasm A sardonic divide
Sarchasm Sarcasm Sarcasm that is also deeply profound
Sargasm Sarcasm When sarcasm hits the spot
Scarcasm Sarcasm Trauma of intense mocking contempt.
Scarcasm Sarcasm Personal criticism leaving lasting scar; the result of a sarcastic comment
Snarcasm Sarcasm A very snide form of satirical wit
Sarcasmic Sarcastic Sarcasm + Orgasmic
Sarcaustic Sarcastic Sarcastic to the point of causing severe burns
Snarcophagus Sarcophagus The final resting place of a deadly wit
Pardonic Sardonic A regretful person constanty requesting forgiveness.
Scardonic Sardonic Psychological trauma from extreme mockery.
Stardonic Sardonic One who excels and revels in being extremely critical.
Sartrial Sartorial An existentialist who wears good clothes
Santorially Sartorially How the elves dressed the big guy for his busy night out.
Hashay Sashay Unique sideways walk under the influence of Cannabis!!
Hashimi Sashimi Thin-sliced raw cannabis
Sasqwatch Sasquatch Yeti timepiece
Sassquatch Sasquatch A mouthy bigfoot
Sassafray Sassafras To mouth off at or in a skirmish; a particularly lippy confrontation
Saton Satan Bedeviled
Setellite Satellite Arsonist
Sattire Satire Seated in a more elevated position.
Spatire Satire Vexed by constant arguments
Sadisfaction Satisfaction Joy of harming others
Satisfiction Satisfaction Unreal satisfaction
Satisfraction Satisfaction Partial contentment
Satiesfactory Satisfactory Where the French Classical composer wrote his pianoworks
Statisfy Satisfy Provide someone with abundant statistical data to the point they are convinced of something
Statisfying Satisfying The pleasant sensation one experiences when complex math works out to a very round number.
Satur9Day Saturday The beginning of a long, wet and miserable weekend with Heathcliff
Shaturday Saturday The day our china cabinet fell over
Baturian Saturian Sober species that can live up to 30 years, fly 60 miles per hour, suspend themselves upside down.
Sausafe Sausage Chastity belt for men
Saveant Savant Earnest campaign to prevent ant population from disappearing.
Savoirfairy Savoirfaire A punctual, well - intentioned and responsible sprite.
Sexophone Saxophone A horny musical instrument
Scalawage Scalawag What they pay pirates
Scamlions Scallions The zoo is putting stuffed big cats in the cages to keep costs down.
Smallions Scallions Diminutive mane-collared wildcats
Scampie Scampi A fraudulent tart
Scampil Scampi Ineffective illicit meds
Scandalois Scandalous The first time Superman's crazy ex-girlfriend went to the Fortress of Solitude
Scabdinavian Scandinavian A Swede who goes to work through a picket line
Scapegoal Scapegoat Mission to wrongly defame others by projecting one's own faults on the others.
Scarpity Scarcity One's most immediate feeling when seeing healed wounds
Carecrow Scarecrow An empathetic blackbird
Scarmongering Scaremongering What is done to mung beans in prepping them.
Scarmongering Scaremongering The manifestation of a fear as a visible injury.
Statological Scatological The deliberate use of crappy data in trying to skew a statistical study
Schatterbrain Scatterbrain Someone whose opinions and behaviour are entirely shaped by social media
Shatterbrained Scatterbrained Potential result of texting-while-driving behind a large truck
Schedueling Scheduling The habit of setting up two or more meetings at exactly the same time but in different places
Schelastic Scholastic Flexible education
Schoolbug Schoolbus The spread of a cold in an academic building
Schutbert Schubert ..., damn it boy, why didn’t you finish that last symphony!
Spintilla Scintilla Description of certain events with an intense goal of no truth at all.
Sintillate Scintillate Do bad things throughout the night
Sclerotica Sclerotic Music, art or literature that inflames your passions, but hardens your heart
Stoopable Scoopable Porch worthy
Scrotch Scotch The bane of highlanders in tropical climes
Snottish Scottish A highlander with allergies
Scurge Scourge To punish with an endless lecture
Scrambble Scrabble Lexulous for WPMI afficiandos
Scamble Scramble Gambling you won’t get caught doing a dodgy deal
Scrambble Scramble Coming up with WPMI words whilst shuffling tiles in an attempt to maximise your Scrabble score.
Scambled Scrambled Riddled with grift
Crapheap Scrapheap Reason to relocate the outhouse
Crapple Scrapple Rotten fruit
Spratchy Scratchy Itchy herring
Scrawn Scrawny The opposite of brawn; brute wimpiness
Screenpray Screenplay Script for a Biblical epic movie
Screeshot Screenshot Using a rockslide to launch oneself back down the mountain
Screentriter Screenwriter Descriptive of most current sitcoms whose scripts are generally rewrites from the days of early television
Screwn Screw Strewn with screws
Screwbill Screwball Payment for an orgy
Scrapt Script A rejected scenario for a movie
Scraptures Scriptures The rough drafts that didn't make it into the final Bible
Scruvener Scrivener Rogue notary
Scum Scrum Sixteen men, all in a heap - a collapsed scrum
Scramptious Scrumptious A stolen pie
Scrimptious Scrumptious When it tastes delicious but costs bugger all
Scrumpious Scrumptious Appetizingly holy
Scumptious Scrumptious Roguish. Sleazy, yet attractive.
Scraples Scruples The dusty residue of morality
Scrubulous Scrupulous An obsessive fastidious person.
Scrumbag Scumbag A dirty Rugby player.
Scurrilouse Scurrilous A nasty bug hastening away from biting a human
Sluttlebutt Scuttlebutt Rumors about certain gals in the political arena are most probably true.
Seafairer Seafarer Barnum & Galley - a floating circus
Seahoarse Seahorse Voice quality after enriched-air deep sea diving
Sheat Seat Feeling the previous occupant’s body heat when you sit.
Secretarp Secretary Clerk cover
Secretcry Secretary At a sad movie, many people silently weep
Sadentary Sedentary Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself
Saducer Seducer Someone to be wary of when they approach women cup in hand
Sedulout Sedulous Far from diligent: A diligeNOT
Speedlings Seedlings A method of sowing crops that ensures higher production in a shorter period
Begue Segue Implore that the uninterrupted transition be cancelled.
Seinery Seiner An ocean view through net curtains
Slismic Seismic Major deceptive happening.
Seismogrape Seismograph Place on plate, observe closely; if it moves, duck and cover
Sneizure Seizure Characterized by an uncontrollable sneezing fit
Celection Selection Do I buy and Apple or should I buy a Nokia?
Self-Aggrandizemint Self-Aggrandizement The art of turning ego into money.
Self-Depreciating Self-Deprecating Self-erosion of one's worth
Shelfie Selfie Someone who takes (and posts on social media) tons of pictures of home improvement projects
Smelfie Selfie When you check your pits for BO.
Elf-Isolation Self-Isolation Away with the fairies after a month of home-alone cerebral pixielation
Sellink Selling Peddling your own tattoo
Shemantics Semantics The branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meanings that only women understand
Semaphone Semaphore When you lose the signal on your mobile and the conversation flags
Semiphore Semaphore TWOOOOO!
Sembalance Semblance Nearly walking straight after four glasses of wine.
Semister Semester A gap-year in one’s schooling
Semiconductor Semiconductors Dispatcher at an electric trucking company
Semiquiver Semiquaver A poor economy in Nottingham Forest causes Robin Hood and his Merry Men to cut down sharply on the number of arrows that they carry
Denile Senile Refusal to acknowledge a gradual descent into senescence
Senaile Senile A very elderly gastropod
Sinsational Sensational An impressive indiscretion.
Densibility Sensibility Incapable of being aware of other’s feeling and concerns.
Sew-Tence Sentence How you feel just before making your first bungee jump.
Centimental Sentimental Using only 1% of the brain
Scentimental Sentimental Remembering the scents as you arrived in a new country for a vacation.
Centinel Sentinel A guard that is easily bought over
Seaparated Separated Separated by the sea
Septumber September A period of seven days of living in someone else’s shadow
Skepticemia Septicemia When your whole body is racked by doubt.
Sequintially Sequentially Gliterally
Mequester Sequester Prefer to avoid those who embrace imbecilic rhetoric.
Seaquester Sequester Water borne explorer
Sequeaster Sequester Staying more than three days in a cave
Serendipiteous Serendipitous Something that was supposed to go pleasantly went terribly sour
Serendipoty Serendipity Seat up; perfect aim
Serendopity Serendipity Actually just dumb luck!!
Serendopity Serendipity A chance meeting between two idiots
Serendupity Serendipity Stumbling upon the perfect patsy
Serpendipity Serendipity The faculty for acquiring a snake just when you need one
Sirendipity Serendipity A chance encounter with a seductress
Sirious Serious Siri's earnest attempt at finding the correctly interpreted voice command stuttered by the Apple Iphone user
Aserration Serration Why tab and slot closures on cereal boxes rarely function
Swervant Servant A domestic who writes a tell-all
Servidude Servitude Being enslaved by the man at the top of a government giveaway program
Sexquipedalian Sesquipedalian A person who tells long-winded, funny anecdotes of amorous conquests
Sewp Sew Broth-stitch
Spewage Sewage Hate-laden verbal diarrhea
Stewage Sewage Pease porridge
Seweb Sewer Spider in the pipes
Zex Sex Falling asleep whilst making love
Sexylogist Sexologist That cute chick in Shipping
Smexy Sexy Having both intelligence and being extremely physically attractive. My wife is very smexy
Shamebles Shambles A shambles where shame is involved. E.g. The agency has been in a state of shamebles ever since the revelation of the affair
Shameh Shame Doing something that would normally cause pangs of regret, but. Meh
Shampool Shampoo Chlorine
Shampoot Shampoo When one is washing their hair and farts in the shower
Shangri-Lam Shangri-La The ideal getaway spot
Shatterpoof Shatterproof What happens to dreams when you`re jolted awake
Shagzam Shazam An exclamation used to introduce extraordinary bedroom exploits
Sheepfolk Sheepfold Shepherds
Sheepskip Sheepskin Missing graduation
Shenanigain Shenanigan Dishonest activity solely for illegal profit.
Shenaniguns Shenanigans The illicit trade in firearms
Shenunigans Shenanigans Mischief at the convent
Sheerbet Sherbet A transparent wager
Sherpax Sherpa A really chill mountain guide
Shibbowleth Shibboleth Using the term “Big Game” in ads to avoid paying royalty fees to the NFL
Shipboleth Shibboleth No whistling aboard
Shiitaker Shiitake Kept-in-the-dark kowtower
Shillelaugh Shillelagh To find a cudgeling funny
Shyn Shin Lower thy
Thindig Shindig Small lowkey event instead of glitzy upscale gala.
Shipfaced Shitfaced How you feel on a drunken cruise
Showhorn Shoehorn Usually a saxophone or a trumpet
Shoelack Shoelace Barefoot
Shoostring Shoestring A thin, limp implement used to “shoo” away pests.
Shofart Shofar A ram's horn badly blown
Chopaholic Shopaholic Jeffrey Dahmer
Shoeward Shoreward The hospital section that treats injured loafers.
Shortbred Shortbread Genetically small
Shartcut Shortcut Taking the quick way home, to avoid a messy situation.
Smortcuts Shortcuts Smart" shortcuts–those clever dodges that don't get you anywhere except into trouble
Shirthanded Shorthanded A desperate last second attempt at a tackle in a rugby game.
Shotgum Shotgun Oral propulsion of one's chicle
Shitput Shotput A field sport in which most competitors wear gloves
Shotpot Shotput A clay target
Sheveled Shoveled Being absolutely neat and tidy
Hovels Shovels Straight-handled, broad-bladed, canted Pades
Showbroom Showroom The sweeping tool you bring out only when you have guests
Chuffle Shuffle A brute's impaired gait
Shouteye Shuteye Throbbing behind the eyes that results when your fighting neighbors keep you up all night.
Smuttlecock Shuttlecock A badminton volley piece with a foul mouth and a nasty attitude
Shtup Shut-Up COVID shut-in's imperative followed by an interrogative?
Schyster Shyster Porta-potti along Unter den Linden
Ribelius Sibelius Ooph! If the Philharmonic plays ‘Finlandia’ one more time this season, I’m cancelling my subscription!
Sipilant Sibilant Hissing sound from drinking with a straw.
Sivilant Sibilant Hissing politely
Subling Sibling [1] The non-dominant brother or sister;
[2] paste jewelry
Cidereal Sidereal The otherworldly headspace caused by imbibing a surfeit of apple-based refreshments
Tidereal Sidereal Relating to high and low tides
Slidewalks Sidewalks Moving walkways found in airports
Signaturf Signature A designer lawn
Gignificant Significant Notewothy live event that brought fame to artist.
Significan Significant I am having a little difficulty with arthritis and cannot hold the pen too well
Significan’T Significant Something truly unremarkable, unnoteworthy
Significat Significant (n.) What every feline knows she is
Sikhx Sikh A pair of holy trinities in turbans
Sikhorski Sikorski A helicopter piloted by a resident of India
Siliscate Silicate Cleese on ice
Silverward Silverware Senior-citizens floor at the hospital
Similie Simile A completely invalid comparison.
Slimile Simile Pricey drugs that merrily reduce one's overall body fat including fingers and toes.
Simpatio Simpatico When you like your neighbor’s property so much you copy certain elements of it
Sumpleton Simpleton Drain brain
Simpolistic Simplistic Political poll which ask two questions. Are you planning to vote? Will you vote for our candidate?
Simulecrum Simulacrum Identical looking donkeys
Sinultaneous Simultaneous Committing two or more sins at the same time
Signecure Sinecure A job where one teaches people who can only make an X how to sign their names properly
Singhular Singular A remarkably turbane gentleman
Mingularity Singularity One's special ability to talk with everyone at a party
Sex Six One Seff Efrican less than sivin
Sixpeck Sixpack 1. Chickens who work out
2. ƒÂƒ ‚‚ ƒÂ‚ ‚ƒ ƒÂƒ ‚‚ ƒÂ‚ ‚ƒ Beer supply for a South African
Suzzle Sizzle Future tense of guzzle
Skedawdle Skedaddle To depart slowly
Skeletone Skeleton Bone white
Speloton Skeleton A group of Halloween bike racers
Skullful Skillful Tired of studying
Kinflint Skinflint Miserly stone-faced relatives
Skirmisses Skirmishes Missed skirmishes
Skillduggery Skullduggery How to effectively handle a backhoe
Skullbuggery Skullduggery Deceitfully screwing with someone’s mind.
Skullbuggery Skullduggery A curious sexual proclivity
Skulldiggery Skullduggery A scene from Hamlet
Skulldruggery Skullduggery Slipping a Mickey
Stydome Skydome A pigloo
Skiscraper Skyscraper Having forgotten to wax your snow planks
Shywalker Skywalker 1) Jedi at large
Slywalker Skywalker A tricky Jedi
Spywalker Skywalker Jedis of the CIA & MI6
Stywalker Skywalker Ms. Piggy’s estranged twin brother. "Jedis In Spaaaaaace"
Slalome Slalom A skiing seductress
Slimmer Slammer Penitentiary for cachetic felons
Snaphappy Slaphappy Bonkers for bubblewrap
Slapling Slapping A young tree that whacks you in the face as you trek through woodland undergrowth
Slopstick Slapstick What happens when you are cooking something glutinous on the stove top and it boils over
Slanterns Slatterns Slovenly lights
Laughterhouse Slaughterhouse A theater where people die laughing
Sleep-Depraved Sleep-Deprived The condition of turning into an evil, cranky monster due to lack of sleep (common to adults with new babies)
Sleepwaking Sleepwalking That time after you wake up, but before the alarm goes off, where you are neither really awake or asleep
Skinky Slinky Like a certain amphibian
Splinky Slinky A snake with bells on
Snipperier Slipperier When the rabbi takes too much at the bris
Lippery Slippery Mouthing off
Solipshod Slipshod Believing that one's shoes are the only real footwear in existence.
Clipstream Slipstream Youtube
Slober Slobber What you do not do when you don’t drink.
Slowbber Slobber Lazy drooling
Slopu Slop Dire horrific AI endgames
Slumbar Slumber Spinewood sleepers
Slumberm Slumber A bed, usually narrow
Glumlord Slumlord Very unhappy landlord
Smartphony Smartphone The imbecilic belief that excessive and dependent use of that device will result in awesome intelligence.
Smorgasbored Smorgasbord When you get tired of all the buffet options
Snakeskein Snakeskin A reptile's knitting prep
Snickerpoodle Snickerdoodle Dog biscuits
Sniplet Snippet What a guy leaves behind after circumcision
Sgivel Snivel The act of bestowing anything in an unwilling whining manner.
Snowl Snow The sound made by wind blowing heavy snow.
Snowgird Snowbird To get ready for winter
Slowboarding Snowboarding Snowboarding in Tahoe’s spring slush
Snowclone Snowcone Exact replica of a triply-globular winter lawn humanoid
Snowfake Snowflake A person pretending to be an easily offended and entitled minimalist in the hope of getting some advantage out of it.
Soapbot Soapbox A dishwashing automaton
Slobriety Sobriety A lazy and slovenly tea totaller
Sobriquest Sobriquet Frenetic search for iconic unique nickname!
Sobriquiet Sobriquet Implorable silence when asked if you have a nickname
Socialpist Socialist A lefty who doesn’t get his/her way on any given issue
Sociomath Sociopath When a serial killer confesses to more and more unverified victims for bragging rights
Socopath Sociopath In a British Police procedural novel when there is a murder the soco ( Scene of Crime Officers) lay down an area that no one should tread upon
Sockdowager Sockdolager A very large widow with means
[3] warm footwear for a very large widow with means who is bruised from being struck;
[4] to dress the feet of a very large widow with means who is bruised from being struck with warm footwear;
[5] anything whatsoever connected with or relating to aforesaid very large widow with means who has bruises but whose feet are warm
Sockwet Socket A cause of foot fungus
Sotcrates Socrates Boxes for drunks
Sodar Soda A device that tracks submarines by the tiny bubbles left in their wake
Siftware Software A spam filtering program
Softwart Software Computer program that interferes with other software and can’t be removed
Soarize Solarize Upon meeting an old friend, they say you're a sight for this.
Solemlize Solemnize Blatant attempts to dignify the speech and beliefs of the Alternate Reality and Fake Facts beings.
Soulicitation Solicitation The Devil's job
Solirarity Solidarity A small group of obscure things
Goliloquy Soliloquy Right for one to freely express opinions, attitudes including dissent.
Sililoquy Soliloquy Saying goofy things to yourself
Somliloquy Soliloquy Sleep-talking
Polipsism Solipsism The result= Government just for the politicians, to benefit them solely with massive wealth and power..
Soilitude Solitude When you are all alone in the hole you dug for yourself, ALSO The feeling you get when you realize that you are the only one who went down that rabbit hole
Solidude Solitude A guy who likes his quiet time
Solotude Solitude That arrogant and pained grimace every lead guitarist makes
Sotitude Solitude The condition of being a solitary drunk.
Sommersaults Somersaults Hot humid weather accrobatics.
Sommeliar Sommelier Purports to be a certified wine expert but is not!
Somnambulanc Somnambulant Emergency vehicle for sleepwalkers
Somnambullist Somnambulist A rough sleep-walker
Momnolent Somnolent Remember your Mother's wise advice,"Neither a borrower nor a lender be".
Songram Sonogram Evidence of a boy
Sophisticatred Sophisticated A refined and cultured way of disliking someone.
Coporific Soporific Falling asleep while a policeman drones on about some misdemeanor that he claims you have committed
Sloporific Soporific Boring, lethargic AI presentations.
Stoporific Soporific Avoid using artifical sleep meds but instead select wise healthy living choices to induce natural sleep.
Sloprano Soprano A singer with the highest vocal range who performs remarkably off-pitch
Stoprano Soprano Specifically Florence Foster Jenkins' "Der Holle Rache"
Oreness Soreness Miner malady
Sorgum Sorghum The after effect of a tooth-pulling
Sourghum Sorghum Condition treated by a periodontist
Scorry Sorry An apology made with hope to score points towards the next conflict, or to intentionally gain favor with the recipient without true remorse.
Soulo Soul A heavenly hostless
Scourdough Sourdough Diligently search for any scheme legal or otherwise to amass monumental wealth.
Sousapone Sousaphone Marching cornbread
Sousachef Souschef Someone who can orchestrate a big meal
Spaghetto Spaghetti A health and beauty facility located in an underserved and isolated urban area.
Spagyetti Spaghetti Abominable pasta
Spughetti Spaghetti Pasta for flat-face dog breeds
Spyghetti Spaghetti Pasta trained in covert surveillance and in neutralizing threats from guns and forks
Panakopita Spanakopita Food critic's scathing review of Greek cuisine
Spamish Spanish Unsolicited babble about goods or services that are too good to be true
Panking Spanking A master chef
Spanxer Spanner Compression wear for pipe repair
Spanklers Sparklers Paddles, switches, and belts
Spartacks Spartacus Nails illegally placed in boxing gloves
Spurtacus Spartacus Cussed a lot, but intermittently
Shearmint Spearmint Cutting aromatic herbs
Specialisp Specialist The supposed origin of Castilian Spanish
Spicies Species Genera of aromatics
Specifiction Specification A wishfully written specification
Speckious Specious Spurious spots
Pectacular Spectacular Well-defined chest muscles
Spectaculard Spectacular The best pig fat ever
Spectocular Spectacular The miniature eyeglass binoculars your dentist wears for close work.
Spaculate Speculate To estimate the required time and cost of drywall repair
Speculatte Speculate Wondering when the coffee's coming
Speflunker Spelunker One who fails at cave exploration
Spegunking Spelunking Exploring the sewers
Spandthrift Spendthrift One who is obsessed with buying elasticized, figure-enhancing garments.
Permatozoa Spermatozoa Gamete with a nice curl
Sphericalm Spherical How one feels when he finally hears the cosmic music
Sphinxter Sphincter The real reason you never see the Sphinx from behind
Sphinxter Sphincter The area of study of an Egyptian proctologist
Sphinux Sphinx Egyptian computer operating system
Spigox Spigot Wall-mounted oxygen tap
Spin-Bowdler Spin-Bowler An anaemic spin-doctor
Spunoza Spinoza Previous philosophical discussion
Spinister Spinster A very evil, very old, unmarried woman
Spirail Spiral Circular switchback
Splanchic Splanchnic Fashionable intestines
Sblendid Splendid An exquisite combination (e.g. typically involving liquor, a blender, and resulting speech impediment)
Spleendid Splendid Causing untold damage to one's internal organs by having a conniption fit
Splintern Splinter A seabird healing from a wing break
Spunge Sponge Live off the generosity of wealthy punsters.
Spontanxeity Spontaneity Worried that you suddenly will not be your natural self
Spontangeous Spontaneous Immediate effects of chilli pepper.
Spuntaneous Spontaneous Improvised pun.
Sporky Spooky Spirit swine; pork poltergeist; banshee bacon
Spoonfled Spoonfed In the poem, the dishfled, too
Sporadice Sporadic Occasional gambling
Sportadic Sporadic A rabid fan
Scotlights Spotlights Candles
Spottying Spotting The monitoring of community wastewater for the presence of Coronavirus.
Splinting Sprinting Going flat out in a running brace
Spumonte Spumante Multi-coloured Italian sparkling wine, best served frozen
Spurnious Spurious Of insincere disdain
Spurmed Spurned When all your emails go straight to Spam
Spittering Sputtering What those who spray it while saying it are guilty of
Shpy Spy Aston Martin driver with a breathalyser reading of .007
Squadrone Squadron A formation of robotic aircraft
Squallor Squalor Debris after a storm
Squalord Squalor Rent collector in slums
Squarea Square A rectangular region having four congruent sides
Squaredunce Squaredance A nerd who is not actually all that bright
Skuatter Squatter A dumpy albatross
Squiggli Squiggle (It. pl.) Several worms
Stabble Stable A knife fight in a barn
Studium Stadium A place where the games that are held are intellectual
Stagecroach Stagecoach A horse-drawn litterbug; The winged chariot of the apocalypse; A scuttlebus
Staggant Stagnant Ant without a date to the Queen's ball
Staircask Staircase Climbing barrels
Stalactice Stalactite The ice spikes on mountainside
Stalactates Stalactites How a cave formation nourishes her stalactots
Stalemaze Stalemate A drab labyrinth
Stylemate Stalemate Two women at a cocktail party in the same dress
Stampede Stamped Runaway postal rates
Stankards Standards The point where even hobos can't stand how you smell
Strandby Standby At the airport, getting bumped from one wait list to the next, hoping to get on a flight
Sandoff Standoff What you want most after a day at the beach...that and a margarita
Starbard Starboard The best singer
Slarch Starch A stiff conifer
Stargating Stargazing Following too closely behind Denzel's car
Starplight Starlight Supernova or burnout
Shart Start Starts as a sneeze, ends as a shart. God forbid you have two in a row; it would end as a blowout.
Startvation Starvation The beginning of a long hunger
Stationwary Stationary Fear of being stuck
Statusticians Statisticians N. Beauticians of the status quo. Those who prefer to put lipstick on a problem rather than effect any substantive change
Spatistics Statistics Performance metrics for a masseuse
Stadistics Statistics Doing cruel, unspeakable things with numbers
Statistoics Statistics People who really don’t care what the numbers say
Stayl Stay A worn-out welcome
Straycation Staycation A holiday for polygamists.
Steamboar Steamboat [1] A very angry pig;
[2] a cooking method for pork that is effective but which results in less flavor than roasting
Stealhead Steelhead A fishy thief.
Steeplechaise Steeplechase Hurdles and water hazards run in a one-horse buggy
Stegolaurus Stegosaurus Monastic huts for dinosaurs with distinctive diamond-shaped plates along their spines
Stainway Steinway An expensive piano covered in dried Glenfiddich, booty-cheekprints, and DNA.
Sterm Stem A Point exactly half way along the length of a boat – from Stem to Stern
Stentographer Stenographer A very loud secretary (from “stentorian” and “stenographer”)
Stenturian Stentorian Living for at least a hundred years with a dicky heart
Stercoraleous Stercoraceous Relating to marine polyp poop
Steerile Sterile That bull for which you paid many thousands of dollars turns out to be a very poor investment
Sternumb Sternum Hard-hearted
Stethoscops Stethoscopes Police officers who check people for suspicious heartbeats
Stevadores Stevedores Romantic longshoremen
Stewl Stew A three-legged steaming turd
Stewp Stew Soup made from leftover stew
Stewpeat Stewmeat Marsh mush
Shtickshift Stickshift The process used by a comedian to gear his material to the audience
Stigmac Stigma Disgrace for eating at McDonald’s
Stagmatize Stigmatize Prosecution of males who harass females on all levels.
Spiletto Stiletto What happens when I try to wear high heels.
Shipulate Stipulate Poor planning results in missing cruise vacation
Stippulation Stipulation A spotty formal agreement
Stripulations Stipulations Work rules for "exotic dancers"
Shoic Stoic One’s choice to vividly display, joy, fear, pain and a wide range of feelings.
Pstoicism Stoicism A hint of imperturbability
Estory Story A digital rivulet
Stagglers Stragglers Deer hookers
Stringulation Strangulation Death resulting from the tedium of developing arduous text processing code
Strataget Stratagem A plan by an attractive woman to get her own flat by employing her wiles
Stratagerms Stratagems Infectious artifices
Strutegy Strategy Swagger stress
Straposphere Stratosphere The part of the body requiring a belt or a girdle
Strausst Strauss Under some pressure to complete Also Sprach Zarathustra
Strawinsky Stravinsky Picked the short ones on soothing, harmonious or melodious classical music
Stweaker Streaker A stwip-teaser on the run
Streepcar Streetcar How a certain movie star gets around town
Sprident Strident Super senior wisely following rules for healthy physical and mental activities.
Strongently Stringently Iron fist in a velvet glove
Struckture Structure Building hit by an earthquake
Strumpest Strumpet 1. The most obvious manifestation of the profession 2. The one who will not leave the passenger-side window when the light changes
Stiltify Stultify To perform a daring circus act
Stupefry Stupefy Mindless kitchen work at fast-food joints
Stupendour Stupendous Incredible severity or sullenness
Stopid Stupid Ceasing to be dumb
Scupidity Stupidity Putting greed before happiness.
Stepidity Stupidity Lukewarm ignorance, the half-brother to adoptive intelligence
Stylust Stylus Intense desires following texting!
Styrofoal Styrofoam A polystyrene pony
Tubatomic Subatomic A sousaphone blast
Sobdivision Subdivision 1] Mathematics angst; [2] breaths between weeping convulsions
Subdude Subdue Conservative attire
Subduh Subdue Whisky Tango Foxtrot
Dubfreezing Subfreezing Adjective: when tomorrow is going to be just as cold as today
Pubheading Subheading Goin' to the bar
Pubjection Subjection Being thrown out of the bar
Siblimation Sublimation The act of bettering or disparaging a statement or achievement of a sibling.The intent is to make it disappear directly into vapor
Sublima Sublime Superb beans grown underground.
Sublimeh Sublime No sh!t, Sherlock!
Stubmarine Submarine A very short undersea boat
Snubmariner Submariner Haughty sailor
Sobmission Submission Taking on the responsibility of relaying a particular sad story.
Submirsion Submission Underwater religious conversion
Snubmissions Submissions Rejected submissions
Subemissions Submissions Words I submit which I think are good but are below par because they have an unacceptable innuendo or pollute the verbosphere
Tubmontane Submontane A shower drain
Sobpoenaed Subpoenaed Tearful testimony
Snubservient Subservient Disdainful deference
Subs'Oil Subsoil Usually in a second war movie where the heroic allies on the small minelayer prove they have sunk the evil Nazi U Boat
Sobstantiate Substantiate Finally acknowledge that you LOST!
Pubstitute Substitute Set of tavern clones.
Pubstitution Substitution When your date leaves the bar with someone else
Subterfudge Subterfuge Disappointing candy made with faux chocolate (carob).
Subterfugue Subterfuge Contrapuntal chicanery
Subterfume Subterfuge These e-cigarettes
Subterfuse Subterfuge A booby trap
Pubterranean Subterranean The cave dwellers’ tavern
Subtlitles Subtitles Inconspicuous aids to comprehension
Subturban Suburban A skullcap
Suburbane Suburban Not quite suave, courteous, or refined in manner
Succeep Succeed The tendency of social-climbing to spread around
Succass Success What you get by being extra nice to your boss
Saccinct Succinct Terse Firing
Suddenl Sudden The onset of the unexpected with a shorter than expected fuse
Suffolcated Suffocated Moving your home to one in an Eastern English county
Stuffocating Suffocating The air conditioning or heating turned off so no air circulating in a room causing a person to feel closed in and uncomfortable. “Hey, I’m stuffocating”.
Stuffocation Suffocation Death by hoarding
Buffrage Suffrage A muscular good looking male seeking election
Stuffrage Suffrage A hoarder's ire
Tuffrage Suffrage Right to vote getting harder
Smuggestion Suggestion A proposed action that is obviously the best.
Sugjestion Suggestion A humorous proposal
Suitcidal Suicidal The irrepressible urge of murdering bankers and other suited professionals.
Summaripe Summarize ...and summarnot
Bumptuous Sumptuous A road in need of repair.
Dumptuous Sumptuous What a disappointment! Food, venue, service, entertainment = Horrendous
Bunburn Sunburn One of the primary risks at a nude beach
Stunburnt Sunburnt Subdued by the police
Sunscream Suncream The sound of inadequate SPF
Punday Sunday Isn't every day?
Sonday Sunday A day to honor male children.
Sunkdeck Sundeck It did not look anything like that on the original plans dear
Stundowning Sundowning Alarming, dystopian ravings late night by one with cognitive issues.
Bunrise Sunrise Early morning alarm set by a baker
Sonrise Sunrise The Second Coming (and it took a heretic like me to come up with this one?)
Punshine Sunshine The warm glow of wordplay
Sunshrine Sunshine A secluded, serene and sunny spot to meditate in.
Superpious Superbious Papal in nature
Superbowel Superbowl Holding it for the entire game.
Supercalifragilisticexpoàlidocious Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious The Lido Lounge in Pismo Beach puts on the world's largest balsa wood fair.
Dupercilious Supercilious Conspiracy advocates with arrogant attitudes.
Superfacial Superficial Large Face
Supperfluid Superfluid The state of matter your dinner becomes after drinking the water in Mexico
Stuperfluous Superfluous The condition that exists in a room when you call a meeting and no one that showed up prepared for it.
Supperfluous Superfluous A meal in the evening too many
Superheron Superhero A bittern with a cape
Superthighway Superhighway Exercise plan for the large-hipped
Superia Superial The feeling you get when you see someone else doing something too slowly, or perhaps not in the right way, ACCORDING TO YOU
Superiorite Superiority [1] The very best ceremonial observance and practice;
[2] one who really is just better than you are and tells everyone all about it
Souperman Superman Faster than a speeding pizza delivery guy. More powerful than a jalapeno pepper. Able to leap Anthony Bourdain in a single bound.
Stuperman Superman Clark Kent after a few shots of kryptonite
Stupermarket Supermarket Reduces you to a stupor or stupidity to induce you to buy buy buy
Souperpower Superpower The ability to make soup from any available ingredients
Dupersede Supersede Truth replaced sadly by cultish dogma!!
Stuperstition Superstition A belief that is both baseless and dumb
Nupple Supple Prenuptial contract signed during the honeymoon
Dupplicate Supplicate To ask twice
Sapport Support Deplete wine
Supposittory Suppository An imaginarium
Slurfeit Surfeit Excessive verbal negativity.
Smurfeit Surfeit A large gathering of small blue creatures
Smurfer Surfer Little blue dude on a long board
Surver Surfer A phenomenon usually found in Hawaii wherein natives ride surfboards out to stranded novice surfers and deliver a cocktail to them
Urgery Surgery Operating on desire
Sirplus Surplus Too many Knights at the round table
Surfrise Surprise The French fries you find at the bottom of the bag when you thought they were all gone
Surpraise Surprise An unexpected compliment
Slurvives Survives Overcoming a character assasination / malicious gossip
Suspeense Suspense With enlarged prostate, wondering how you managed to forget to wear those Depends (tm) on your outing.
Saspension Suspension Terminate the cheeky hazing
Suxstenance Sustenance The experience of dieting
Svengalli Svengali An evil - minded, manipulative person full of bitterness.
Svengoli Svengali A hockey player who mentally intimidates opponents not to score
Swahilli Swahili An undulululating language
Swallowpail Swallowtail How you collect Adam’s apples
Swappy Swampy French kissing
Swastikar Swastika A Tesla (I didn't make this word up, just passing it along, I adhered to the one-letter rule, so you'll also see it as swasticar.)
Sweatheart Sweetheart A sweetie that turned sour and sweatish
Smoon Swoon To faint at the sight of the moon
Wordfighting Swordfighting School spelling bees
Sycophanky Sycophancy A worthwhile snotrag
Psycophant Sycophant A deranged violent servile self-seeking flatterer
Syclophant Sycophant A one-eyed brownnoser
Sycophrantic Sycophantic Going crazy because the one you spend all your time sucking up to will no longer take any notice of you
Sicophants Sycophants Stressed out by teeny insects
Syblables Syllables Units of sound uttered by infants and toddlers.
Syllogasm Syllogism An argument with a happy ending
Syllygism Syllogism Faulty logic
Gymbiosis Symbiosis Relationship with work-out buddy.
Synbiosis Symbiosis Partners in crime
Cymbolism Symbolism Bringing your fists together in upward, circular motions while making a “chhhhh” sound with your mouth to represent playing the cymbals.
Synpathetic Sympathetic Imprudently compassionante
Simpathy Sympathy Pity for guys who white-knight on the internet
Symphathy Sympathy Getting really involved at a Classical music concert
Synchronile Synchronize Xtreme synchronized swimming practiced in Egypt.
Psyncopation Syncopation Off-beat (yet harmless) mental state
Sincopation Syncopation Two people doing something naughty at the same time
Syndicrated Syndicated Mob disposal option
Synecdouche Synecdoche (n.) A person who reminds others of how irritating and stupid people in general are
Sinergy Synergy The interaction or cooperation of two or more people or organizations to produce a combined effect greater than the magnitude of their separate sins
Synerdgy Synergy Nerds jointly acting together
Synorgy Synergy Intimate collaboration resulting in pleasure greater than the sum of its tarts
Synonymouse Synonymous Rodelent
Sononyms Synonyms Similar male children
Sinopsis Synopsis A brief recounting of a person's wrong doings
Sintax Syntax What you pay for fooling around.
Sinthetic Synthetic A fanatical believer in unnatural sinthesis, or is that just hearesy ?
Sinthetic Synthetic Intense pure evil rather than artificial manufactured happenings.
Styrup Syrup Sticky stuff used by horsemen to stop their feet from sliding out of those things that hang down from the saddle
Syrip Syrup A sticky diplomatic situation in a turbulent Middle Eastern country
Syrupt Syrup When you squeeze the bottle too hard
Dystematic Systematic Opposed to order
Tabernucle Tabernacle A Bar Mitzvah joint
Tavernacle Tabernacle Speakeasy for religious tea-totalers
Paciturn Taciturn Adj., silent in an effort not to rile up others
Stackle Tackle Tackle: pulleys/lines for raising static loads. The other for retaining dynamic loads comfortably, decently, in place.
Stacky Tacky Comically over-endowed
Factile Tactile Tangible truths
Takini Tahini Skimpy swimwear made of sesame leaves
Failbone Tailbone Osteoporosis results.
Taiwarn Taiwan That's what Xi said...
Tikeaways Takeaways Summer camp
Tailisman Talisman Charm that covers your ass.
Balkative Talkative Refuses to budge
Stampon Tampon The last thing you must do to the envelope before you mail in your electric bill
Tangol Tango Missteps in eight steps
Tangot Tango Forgot to apply SP30 sunscreen
Rantalize Tantalize Tirade to torment one with unobtainable results.
Tauntalize Tantalize Joy of those who demean others.
Pantamount Tantamount When you hang up your trousers and all the change drops out of your pocket
Rantamount Tantamount Intense wild impassioned tirade.
Santamount Tantamount Reindeer
Taintamount Tantamount Bribery payment or laundered money
Tantamound Tantamount A hill of Might-have-beens
Tantramount Tantamount Having a fit because you did not reach the summit of Everest after paying a king’s ransom to have a chance
Tartamount Tantamount Payment to a lady of the night
Tauntamount Tantamount Equivalent to an insult
Apestry Tapestry Simian efforts
Mapestry Tapestry Geographical and travel details on a wall hanging
Tarantesla Tarantella A festive Italian folk dance performed in electric cars
Taranutella Tarantella The wild, feverish dance performed as you open a new jar of chocolate-hazelnut spread...or when you've run out
Parantula Tarantula A spider that's deeply suspicious of everyone around it
Tarentula Tarantula A dancing spider
Targot Target Slang words used in big box store ads
Tarifts Tariffs Breakdowns in free trade agreements
Tarifts Tariffs Trade Wars
Tarisfs Tariffs The end of the Global Economy!
Terragon Tarragon The fate of the earth
Tartufoe Tartufo Someone who despises my favorite dessert
Tsarzan Tarzan Lord of the Steppes
Maskmaster Taskmaster Dr. Fauci's attitude re masks
Tiskmaster Taskmaster A political pundit offering only criticism without ever uttering workable alternatives.
Tatare Tatar Weight of a Turk sans luggage about to board an aircraft
Tittoo Tattoo Strategically hidden inking
Taunt Taut How you tease someone who who misuses "taunt" for "taut."
Tauntology Tautology An insult repeated many times in different forms.
Lawdry Tawdry Sadly, the interpretations of legal matters by some is morally lacking.
Taxy Tax A vehicle for transferring wealth from the private to the public sector. The fair is negotiable.
Taxicrab Taxicab The condition of becoming embittered with humanity after too much interaction witht the general public as a hack driver
Laxidermist Taxidermist A taxidermist who substitutes stuffed animals for deceased ones, thereby skinning his clients
Taxipermist Taxidermist Someone who can give you a ride, style your hair and leave you looking dead gorgeous
Tuxidermist Taxidermist Sales clerk who stuffs men into their tuxes
Taxiedermy Taxidermy The art and science of preparing, preserving, and mounting your annoying fellow passengers after landing and before your aircraft reaches the terminal.
Taxplayer Taxpayer You’re in the game, like it or not
Taxplayer Taxpayer CPA
Technicalm Technical 1. What the support representative wants you to be.
Techpology Technology AI Error - 404 - No Knowledge available - Please Teach Me Pleeeeeease!
Human - apologies for any technological glitches resulting from the lack of knowledge acquired to perform required AI tasks
Tichnology Technology That twitch you get when your computer is not working
Techaos Technos Your typical IT Department boffin and his work results
Teatonic Tectonic A shot of Jim Beam in your Luzianne and you're good to go.
Teatonic Tectonic The geological hypothesis that continents sit on saucers and not plates
Tvdium Tedium Daytime content
Teensiesta Teensiest A student sleeps through his Spanish class.
Teenpee Teepee A high-schooler at a urinal
Treepee Teepee The central supporting, and aiming, pole in a NA indigenous lavatory
Tree-Shirt Tee-Shirt Bark
Feetotaler Teetotaler Avoids toll roads
Tefelon Teflon A communications device that’s hard to hold
Belegenic Telegenic One possessing all the "Bells and whistles" will definitely achieve success.
Pelekinesis Telekinesis A marine bird that can bend spoons with its mind.
Telapathy Telepathy Having the ability to read minds but not caring to
Teleapathy Telepathy Complete disdain for television programming
Selevision Television That box that we connect to a network which tries to sell us things and ocassionally provides entertainment in the form of drama, comedy, etc.
Semperament Temperament A steady, unfazed disposition
Tempastuous Tempestuous Former passionate relationship.
Tempty Tempt A property of one of those mysterious temporary folders (left behind on your computer by a software installation) that you’re TEMPTED to delete — but just ignore
Tentacious Tenacious Your kid's determination to spend the night outside alone in a pup tent.
Texacious Tenacious Strong commitment and addiction to this communication.
Tenderloan Tenderloin When a railway is short of rolling stock and has to borrow from a rival
Tendrill Tendril A group of dentists
Trenor Tenor A singer with a tenor voice whose vibrato produces a tremor akin to a sonic boom
Stentacles Tentacles Procedure to restore blood flow in one's arteries
Tenticles Tentacles (n) The long metal supports which are placed in the inside of a dome tent while pitching it.
Stentative Tentative Controversy about medical value of this procedure.
Tentafive Tentative 4.5
Teemites Termites Very small golfers
Terrorium Terrarium A commonly decorative, sealed, glass or plastic enclosure that recycles and amplifies the fear of those suffocating within it.
Tearrier Terrier Canine breed known for shredding things
Terriflic Terrific A great movie.
Tarrified Terrified Scared witless about the economy
Terrifried Terrified Fear of execution in the electric chair
Terrafying Terrifying Feeling brought on by volcanoes, whirlpools, sinkholes, quicksand, and any other frightening geographical structure
Errorist Terrorist A ham handed suicide bomber who sets off his device while trying to strap it on
Terroirist Terrorist Like "Lather," he just like"s to lie about nude in the sand" among the vines.
Tearorize Terrorize The skill of sobbing or weeping at will to exploit the kindness of others and gain undeserved sympathy
Tertiara Tertiary Runner-up to the runner-up in a beauty contest
Testy Test Testing
Testickle Testicle Butterflies in the stomach before an exam
Testticles Testicles Probably not groin to hurt you & probably groin to make you laugh
Texticles Testicles Ballsy messages.
Testifry Testify To try out fast food recipes
Textify Testify Describes the only way teenagers will communicate with their church or the court system in the future
Pestimony Testimony Annoying declarations
Testoasterone Testosterone A person who tests toasters.
Testosternone Testosterone A condition experienced by many older men.
Textosterone Testosterone What makes men so predictable.
Texan Texas Activity that the lousy driver in front of you is engaged in
Vextile Textile A very itchy or otherwise uncomfortable article of clothing, such as a wool turtleneck.
Textident Textindent The act of bumping in to another or object while walking and texting.
Bexting Texting Bossing via text
Hexting Texting To bewitch, cast a spell or charm or practice witchcraft via SMS messaging
Vexting Texting V: Writing a text message using your voice
Toxts Texts Toxic texts
Textualie Textualize Simple impersonal way to deceive
Shanks Thanks Gratitude expressed by a bad golfer (who may be inebriated).
Hanksgiving Thanksgiving Tom's charity
Sheatrical Theatrical A performance that is overtly dramatic and expressive in a uniquely feminine way.
Hebrew Thebrew It's a Man's Beer!
Themu Theme A Continuity Chicken that has grown with experience and now has oversight
Sheocracy Theocracy A system of government in which women rule in the name of god(s)
Theocrazy Theocracy The belief in and following of Theo Epstein as a diety and saviour of all of the woes facing the Chicago Cubs.
Theonogian Theologian A person who claims a close friendship with God
Sheology Theology Feminist religious studies
Theoretipal Theoretical Studying the practice of friendship
Therapast Therapist When your psychiatrist dies
Therapost Therapist A couch doctor who leaves empathetic comments on social media
Therepy Therapy Herepy, therepy, everwherepy....
Chesaurus Thesaurus A book containing groups of similar chess moves
Theces Theses Propositions or dissertations to be discussed and defended, that are truly a load of crap
Ghievery Thievery Stolen butter
Thumble Thimble Awkwardly leaf through the pages of a book
Thingamagig Thingamajig A musical performance where the names of the instruments are uncertain
Thoroughbed Thoroughbred The ultimate in sleeping accommodation
Thoroughbread Thoroughbred A horse that loafs around the track.
Throughtfully Thoughtfully Completely beyond a given barrier
Thousandy Thousand Recognizing or addressing Sandra (King James Version)
Threadbard Threadbare One who sings sewing instructions
Threadbore Threadbare A troll who dominates a Twitter thread
Treadbare Threadbare A lewd unshoed dude marchin' nude.
Thumbstack Thumbtack Outer digits, several layers deep (Inner, or do you have inverted hands, Mike ? Ed)
Hunderstorm Thunderstorm When it's raining cats and dogs but without the cats
Thurstday Thursday The appropriate day for quaffing a whole case of beer.
Thymen Thyme More focused legmen
Timberdine Timberline Arboreal cuisine
Timex Time An activity or event which is too time-consuming, a time-suck.
I like getting my nails done, but it’s such a timex
Tomorous Timorous Trepidation that your opus magnum is going to be a dud
Twindering Tindering The act of twins simultaneously reviewing and discussing their respective Tinder matches.
Tankerbell Tinkerbell A fairy with ballast on board
Tinkerjell Tinkerbell What you tell the kids when they find a fly in their congealed dessert
Stinkle Tinkle What you do after eating asparagus
Tintintabulate Tintinnabulate Measuring metallic resonance
Rintinnabulation Tintinnabulation Having the constant sound of a dog barking in your ears
Tintinnambulation Tintinnabulation Toddler walking around with bells on her shoes
Trirade Tirade The electrifying consequences of adding a third rail to a reitirade
Tieramasu Tiramasu Trendy stacked dessert
Piramisu Tiramisu A quadro-triangular cake
Tiered Tired Tired on many levels
Trired Tired Effort iterated and reiterated until you’re deflated
Tossues Tissues (n) used tissues which are crumpled up and thrown.
Titanip Titanic A wee sip of a large, strong drink.
Titmanic Titanic When Rose strips for her portrait, she flaunts her prodigious chest, and Jack goes bonkers.
Twitans Titans The other slew of kids whom Uranus and Gaia preferred not to acknowledge
Tittivate Tittilate To make small adjustments enhancing breast display as an officer is approaching during a traffic stop
Hittle Tittle Slight blow
Troad Toad A frog flattened by a car
Toester Toaster A foot warming device
Boastmistress Toastmistress I only use silk in whips and ties
Taddler Toddler People who are a tad older and unsteady on their pins
Tagetherness Togetherness Social groups of people who matter the most to you in your isolation on the long march back to normality
Joggle Toggle The ability to run and catch at the same time
Toilert Toilet N. the noise made by an occupant as someone approaches the stall/bathroom to ensure they are aware it is occupied
Toylet Toilet A crappy miniature play-thing
Toiletrees Toiletries Camping solution
Toylette Toilette Makeup that makes you look flushed
Toolerance Tolerance The ability to refrain from cursing and maniacal gyrations when you drop a hammer on your foot
Tonato Tomato A glossy red edible fruit flying out of your blender taking the appearance of a funnel-shaped cloud, advancing all over your kitchen
Atomcat Tomcat A microscopic kitty
Tomfoulery Tomfoolery Slayful or ghoulish behavior
Tomborrow Tomorrow A grave matter that can wait for a day
Tomorroe Tomorrow The caviar you’ll be having the day after today
Tinsillitis Tonsillitis What people get when they eat Christmas ornaments
Tinsillitis Tonsillitis One of him is allergic to the Christmas season
Stoolbox Toolbox Porta john
Troothache Toothache That poignant moment when you tell your child that there is no Tooth Fairy
Toothwaste Toothpaste Plaque
Tipsyturvy Topsyturvy The way a drunk person walks
Tarmentor Tormentor One who teaches others how to lay asphalt surfaces
Torpido Torpedo A floating mine
Porquemada Torquemada A leader of the Spanish Inquisition after he has fallen off his diet
Tonrid Torrid Zealous method to dispose of 2,000 pounds.
Tartellini Tortellini Ladies of the night" favorite pasta
Xtortoise Tortoise A shark with the head of a turtle
Totalifarian Totalitarian A Jamaican dictator
Tootalitarianism Totalitarianism Demanding absolute authority to the point of absurdity
Fournaments Tournaments Quartets' competitions.
Mourniquet Tourniquet Assistance and materials provided for those experiencing loss.
Truding Trading A crystal clear bell tone
Stragedy Tragedy A plan with calamitous results
Trailerf Trailer Mild expletive used when you jackknife your tow
Traint Train The area between two cars on a passenger train
Trumple Trample To wrinkle with one's feet
Tranquilt Tranquil Bedcover stitched in patterns that provides peace and comfort to owners.
Transadle Transaxle The other way to ride a horse
Transiendental Transcendental The fleeting experience that arises from temporarily acting beyond the boundaries of ego
Transcontinentax Transcontinental V.A.T. often paid at foreign airports
Transherence Transference The process of gender change
Transgander Transgender A visual inspection before directing someone to the appropriate restroom
Transmender Transgender Surgeon skilled in reworking initial assignments
Transitgent Transigent man who gives up his seat on the bus
Trainslate Translate Interruption in rail service
Translute Translate Stringed instrument played by a person undergoing a sex change
Translater Translator When someone says they’ll see you later in a sarcastic tone and they actually mean they’ll see you soon
Transmite Transmit Miniscule bug with gender issues
Transmoggification Transmogrification The obscure belief that one is transformed into a cat after death-that’s why there are so many of the little blighters.
Tramsmoggify Transmogrify After ones death returning to earth as a cat
Transmogrifry Transmogrify Intending to return to earth after death as an angel one makes a wrong turn
Transmatable Transmutable Chacun son got!
Bransmutation Transmutation The change in bowel movement due to excess fiber in the system
Transmortation Transportation The endless cycle of rebirth
Transvestime Transvestite That moment when you realise you’re in the wrong bar
Transylvainia Transylvania A male athlete's excessively high opinion of his abilities when realizing he can come out of the understory in the woods of men's sports and be one of the tallest trees competing as a female.
Trapdhoor Trapdoor The employees’ entrance to a bordello
Traysh Trash In-flight meal leavings
Drauma Trauma Drama borne of trauma
Traumattic Traumatic [1] The scary storage place above the top floor of a house;
[2] experiences had therein
Travelsty Travesty A dreadful occurrence while on vacation
Dreadmill Treadmill When you still have treadmiles to go in your workout, and they’re all treadhills.
Threadmill Treadmill Weaving as you walk
Trembolo Tremolo What your voice has when you're afraid
Trenor Tremor A singer with a tenor voice whose vibrato produces a sonic boom
Frenchant Trenchant Fourmi
Prepidation Trepidation Being worried about chopping onions for your next recipe
Strepidation Trepidation The fear that your sore throat might be Stage 1 Coronavirus
Tepidation Trepidation A feeling of fear or anxiety that something or someone will be only slightly warm or luke warm
Trapidation Trepidation What a mouse feels when discovering a strangely mounted piece of cheese.
Tripidation Trepidation The fear of taking hallucinatory drugs
Tripidation Trepidation Having anxiety over pending travel plans
Tresspass Trespass The act of invading one’s hairspace
Trespasting Trespassing The act of gluing promotional flyers on forbidden surfaces
Trespissing Trespassing Having to urinate on private property when signs are clearly posted.
Striangulation Triangulation Smothered by Geometry
Tribathlon Triathlon Having no time for workout, but hitting the whirlpool, steam room and shower at the gym
Trivulations Tribulations Frustrating but trivial hurdles to accomplishing a task–as in "trials and trivulations"
Tributarry Tributary Oxbows, billabongs, ponds and the like that no longer go with the flow
Tributart Tributary Side-streetwalker
Prickery Trickery When a friend plays a mean-spirited prank resulting in an argument with your wife
Trycycle Tricycle A bicycle that’s used by potential buyers.
Trifucta Trifecta A Sicilian 3-way
Strifle Trifle Conflict over something stupid.
Triflung Trifling 3-0 count for your Chinese baseball pitcher.
Trylingual Trilingual How to describe a person who attempts to speak three languages.
Triobites Trilobites Tiny sandwiches that can be consumed in three mouthfuls
Trainidad Trinidad Rastafathering classes in Jamaica
Striplex Triplex A 3-storey building in Las Vegas
Tripoli Tripolis A wide shoe size.
Trumphant Triumphant Telling people you won at something when you didn’t ;)
Trivest Trivet Vest of three colors
Troglodate Troglodyte Taking a Neanderthal out to dinner and a movie
Drolling Trolling Posting a weak joke in an online comment section in the hope of getting someone to post an lol
Troph Trophy A gutter that can only hold a cup
Troubleshouter Troubleshooter A watchman
Tarousers Trousers Very short shorts on very nice sorts
Tyruant Truant A dictator who skipped all of his school years
Frucker Trucker A person who drives a pick up truck and tailgates you or drives aggressively and acts like they own the road.
Truckulent Truculent To show road rage behavior
Truckulent Truculent The feeling you get when your brother-in-law still has not returned the pick-up you lent him more than three weeks ago.
Trucugent Truculent Fierce belligerent guy!
Truculend Truculent Loaning out one's vitriol
Crumpet Trumpet A musical instrument that you’ve run over with your car
Trystworthy Trustworthy Dependable lover
Tusk-Tsk Tsk-Tsk How to chide an elephant
Tspunami Tsunami A long, high, and cataclysmic wave of water caused by the washing of an eating utensil under a faucet.
Tsumami Tsunami A tidal wave of soy sauce
Utube Tube A social media apptrap that drains undesired content from your inbox and blocks the stench of cyber-bullies, trolls and spam from welling back up.
Tuberculois Tuberculosis Typhoid Mary's second cousin
Thugboat Tugboat Towing vessel with a bad reputation
Dumbling Tumbling Three-inch earrings stuck in armpits
Tunag Tuna Recurrent melody constantly hummed that stresses you out because the name cannot be recalled.
Tunedra Tundra A very musical winter wonderland
Stupik Tupik An Eskimo residunce
Turbotox Turbotax Noun. An enhancer that will allow you to smooth out the wrinkles in your tax return
Turbulience Turbulence Instigating an animated conversation with a fellow passenger or stewardess to mask the rictus of fear that descents the moment the “fasten seat belts” announcement is made.
Turdulent Turbulent When you ruin a new pair of underwear in an excessively bumpy flight
Turdid Turgid A past poop
Termoil Turmoil The lubricant that gets you through a presidency
Turdmoil Turmoil A S**t storm
Burpitude Turpitude Horrific saga of acid reflex problems.
Turkuoise Turquoise Semi-precious sky-blue stone found Asia Minor
Yurtle Turtle Temporary home for a tortoise while her shell is being repaired
Hurtledove Turtledove An unlikely bird sets a new world record for the speed of its dive.
Turdles Turtles Suprisedly clean diaper
Tuxedog Tuxedo Puppy in formal wear
Tweewt Tweet Message from an ambitextrous palindromist
Tweezers Tweeters Geezers who have twitter accounts
Tweaty Tweety An agreement made by two politicians via Twitter
Thinkle Twinkle Aura of one who ponders
Twatter Twitter When people chatter endlessly on Twitter or any other social media
Tykewriter Typewiter Author of children's books
Hypewriter Typewriter One whose compositions are way too long
Myphoon Typhoon A personal storm of words
Toyphoon Typhoon A storm in a teacup
Trypical Typical An ordinary vacation
Trypist Typist The worlds worst secretary
Typast Typist An office position that is going extinct
Nypo Typo A numbers typo.
Typologuy Typology The chap responsible for finding and fixing typos in logos
Tyrannicalf Tyrannical A despotic little cow
Tyrannosaurust Tyrannosaurus Oxidized dinolizard with stubby arms
Tyrantosaurus Tyrannosaurus A species of carnivorous dinosaur thought to be extinct; but a fossil was unearthed, restored, and revitalized using a secret formula containing witch hunt oil, flower of acrimony, and Attar of Rasputin.
Pyranny Tyranny A form of overthrowing a government by means of fire
Tyrunt Tyrant Tiniest despot
Buber Uber Your mom drives you.
Luber Uber Ride share for mechanics
Puber Uber Taxi ride service for young adolescents
Ubicuitous Ubiquitous There's no escaping that commonplace ball point pen.
Ubisquitous Ubiquitous You when you have eaten too many sweet delicaces found everywhere
Udone Udon Informal inquiry as to another's state of progress
Ogly Ugly (adj.) When something is so hideous you can't stop looking at it.
Ukelele Ukulele A banjo
Ukupele Ukulele A soccer star with a tiny guitar
Unotrichous Ulotrichous Just one curly hair among all the straight ones
Multimate Ultimate Polygamy
Cultimatum Ultimatum Demand of their followers to cease and desist independent and questioning thinking.
Multimatum Ultimatum Insisting on an end many times (e.g. "if you don't stop that I'm taking your toys. I mean it. Stop it. I'll take your toys. Now. Absolutely stop it or I'm taking your toys…)
Umbiblical Umbilical A Good Book with a navel ending
Bumbrage Umbrage Offensive loser personified
Gumbrage Umbrage Mouth malady from bridge irritating one’s gums
Numbrage Umbrage Oblivious to any and all affronts
Umbrace Umbrage V., to hesitantly hug an acquaintance
Dumbrella Umbrella The stupid, cheap umbrella you have to purchase because you have twelve at home but not one with you when it starts to rain
Humbrella Umbrella A deployable shield against the storms of arrogance
Unbrella Umbrella A useless wind twisted rain shield
Impire Umpire A small and sneaky arbiter of a baseball game
Umpure Umpire An umpire who actually follows the rules
Vumpire Umpire (n.) the official at a Twilight baseball game.
Bumpteen Umpteen The number of times there is unintended physical contact in a subway car during rush hour
Unardorned Unadorned Plainly loveless
Unaltared Unaltered Living together but not married
Unanimouse Unanimous When all small uninvited guests agree it’s wonderful when no one in your house uses bag clips on the pretzels and potato chips
Runbare Unbare How to disrupt major sporting events
Punbeknownst Unbeknownst One's ability to create "puns" revealed by WPMI's availability and acceptance.
Bunbiased Unbiased Buttock fetish
Puncanny Uncanny Words created by WPMI that "may be difficult to understand or surprising"
Dunceremoniously Unceremoniously Joy to witness a public person who behaves and uses appropriate rheteric in a respectful manner.
Uncertainly Uncertainty Having a bit of difficulty working on Heisenberg's theory
Huncle Uncle An undeniably hunky uncle
Puncle Uncle That one really quick male relative who makes everyone groan
Puncouth Uncouth While somewhat clever/amusing, actually is inappropriate/rude.
Sunction Unction Aspirated inspiration
Hundecided Undecided Yes, dear
Underclover Undercover Dead, etc.
Dunderdog Underdog Not a very clever canine.
Wunderdog Underdog An extremely clever dog
Fundergarments Undergarments Lingerie
Undergrab Undergrad University student who makes his living as a pickpocket
Udderground Underground Cattle ranch
Undervines Underlines Fallen grapes
Punderpants Underpants A wordsmith's skivvies
Underpaints Underpants Primery colours
Punderstand Understand One's ability to get word jokes whether one can create them or not (ie. smart but not funny)
Umderstand Understand When you do, but not really
Enderstanding Understanding Last words of an argument between two people
Understandung Understanding Clear awareness that you’ve stood in dog poop
Understoop Understood To underestimate the height of a door
Funderwear Underwear Naughty Knickers
Gunderwear Underwear Jockey shorts that have a holster built into the back
Nunderwear Underwear Under vestments
Undiplomathic Undiplomatic Rude arithimatic
Gundocumented Undocumented Background checks!
Untomesticated Undomesticated A wild story that would make a good book
Undune Undue Adverse affect of a coastal storm
Urneasiness Uneasiness Feelings of anxiety or discomfort in a crematorium
Sunemployment Unemployment Travel, vacation jobs
Bunencumbered Unencumbered Too much bread on the sandwich
Punequivocal Unequivocal Indisputable that creating puns for WPM is awesome!
Unethnical Unethical Adj.def: “other”
Puneventful Uneventful Prolific number of WPM words published.
Unfethered Unfettered Free-range, but plucked
Punflappable Unflappable Enduring criticism for wordplay
Unforskeen Unforeseen An unanticipated circumcision
Gunfurl Unfurl Response of an inflatable rifle or pistol when air pressure is introduced internally
Dungulate Ungulate Cow patties
Tunicorn Unicorn A mythical butt-headed, barded jousting horse
Runicorns Unicorns Nondescript horny horses
Unicyclint Unicyclist The fuzz found in a unicyclist's spandex after riding
Unicform Uniform Regulation barding for tunicorns.
Unimpreachable Unimpeachable Insurmountable
Uninhibited Uninhabited Acting any way you want when no-one’s at home
Unintenderd Unintended A consequence that was not considered in a bid
Punintentional Unintentional When an authority giving an opinion based on their expertise punned it
Punique Unique Gifted Punster
Unisax Unisex A saxaphone that can sound like other instruments.
Uniterian Unitarian Of or belonging to a sect obsessed with the religious pursuit and consumption of Uni sushi.
Munity Unity Dissension in the ranks
Universalt Universal Salt on everything
Universeity University Life; or any other very large school
Universit University A chair big enough for everyone
Funkempt Unkempt Brazilian, Landing Strip, etc.
Unnicessary Unnecessary Something that gives you a reason to be rude or impolite.
Unpalacable Unpalatable Queen Elizabeth determines that Prince Andrew has overstepped the boundaries of royal conduct and bans him from Buckingham Palace
Punrequited Unrequited Rejection by WPMI, sadly (Must try harder - Ed.)
Punruly Unruly Contributors who only ever submit ringers
Unscrupulouse Unscrupulous Says it perfectly.
Unsoaphisticated Unsophisticated A non-washer
Punstoppable Unstoppable A word to describe someone who makes so many bad puns
Puntenable Untenable Words that are in capable of being changed for amusement.
Untilt Until 1] A strategy for eventually reducing the impact of tourism in Pisa
2] The fast track to becoming a Pinball Wizard
Umpbraid Upbraid Vicious scolding of team official trying hard to enforce rules of game
Wupbraid Upbraid Old-time Cowboy term meaning "to scold vehemently"
Pupdate Update What your dog is giving you when he barks
Upwright Upright An artisan whose sole responsibility is to manufacture the top buttons for elevator call panels
Iranium Uranium Volatile element that simultaneously has two states of nature
Curanus Uranus Doggy bum
Curbanization Urbanization Adding low cement barriers along the edges of all the street
Furinal Urinal A memorial service for someone who has recently pissed away
Furinate Urinate When a dog mistakes a long mink coat for a hairy fire hydrant.
Uranate Urinate The rating given to a person on a scale of 1 to 10, of their looks
Uranating Urinating An astronaut passing into space on his way to the seventh planet
Grination Urination A smiley people
Surine Urine Pleasantly pissed
Usquelaugh Usquebaugh A wee giggle after a wee nip
Usufract Usufruct The right to free gas for the rest of your life
Dusurp Usurp One who takes and keeps power by force without the legal basis to do so!!!
Uslurp Usurp Nasty messy way to enjoy soup.
Futensil Utensil A gadget or tool that does not accomplish the intended operation without breakage of fingernails and flairage of tempers
Gutmost Utmost One's ability to achieve great results by way of personal courage and determination
Nutopia Utopia Great place to live except if you are allergic to tree nuts.
Udopia Utopia The deceptive state of bliss emanating from a dopey idea.
Uptopia Utopia The perfect mountaintop commune
Utokia Utopia Canada
Mutterance Utterance Bark of a mixed-breed dog.
Rutterly Utterly Degree of commitment of hormonally-driven ruminants
Dacation Vacation 24 hours away from the job
Vacartion Vacation Hit the road, Jack!
Vaccinaked Vaccinated When you took off your shirt to get a shot, because you couldn't roll up your sleeve high enough. In a sentence: I went to get my COVID-19 vaccination, and ended up getting vaccinaked
Taccination Vaccination A new mandate that applies only to Taxidermists-who must now get full vaccinations before they can stuff an animal. In certain parts of the world Freedom Rallies for Taxidermists have been taking place with many centres of major cities being clogged with giant stuffed Teddy Bears
Vaccitation Vaccination A summons to appear in court due to refusing a mandatory vaccination.
Maccine Vaccine Your Covid booster
Vacillatte Vacillate Having a hard time choosing options at Starbucks
Viagrant Vagrant A homeless person who sleeps standing up
Valehalla Valhalla Goodbye Paradise
Palorous Valorous Awesome ability to make friends easily and retain them for a lifetime.
Camoose Vamoose A hunchback moose
Vamouse Vamoose To run from rodents
Vannalism Vandalism What Pat Sajak does when he gets mad on “Wheel of Fortune”
Candals Vandals A Germanic tribe who were at one time associated with the Romans, It is thought that their partnership may have originated the term Roman Candals and this was later corrupted to read "Roman Candles" which were used to celebrate victories.
An alternate theory links them to the Sandals Resorts but this has been virtually disproved by archaeologists,
Mapid Vapid Intense inquiry of one’s basic psyche.
Vapids Vapid Maelstroms of insipidity
Varidance Variance When you didn't prepare a solo dance and just gyrate without much thought or control
Vanish Varnish The ability to disappear when you're supposed to be painting the deck
Vaselint Vaseline The top layer of petroleum jelly when you find that the lid was left off since the last time you used it 2 years ago
Vaticant Vatican The inability of the Holy See to control rogue clerics
Naxxer Vaxxer A person that is against getting vaccinated despite overwhelming evidence that vaccinations save lives and prevent severe illness.
Vegenation Vegetation Switch to eating more veggies, fruits, grains and nuts
Vegestation Vegetation Couch potato's favorite spot
Vehiculard Vehicular A pig on skates
Velcrow Velcro A bird of a feather that locks together
Velociraptot Velociraptor A feeling of terror felt by the Jurassic Park generation as their toddlers learn to manipulate door handles
Velocite Velocity To cite at great speed
Vanal Venal That ridiculously venal person we all know who's simultaneously a real waste orifice
Vendebta Vendetta The act of attacking the vending machine which stole your money
Vendette Vendetta A nominal or insignificant grudge
Venletta Vendetta A Feud that started with a written insult
Venndetta Vendetta The intersection of people who are out to get you
Vendork Vendor An awkward salesman
Zengeance Vengeance Intuiting the death of one's enemy
Venomouse Venomous Mickey
Ventilater Ventilator Ordering a large Latte from Starbucks for future delivery
Ventrickles Ventricles A consequence of blocked arteries
Ventriloquest Ventriloquist The time it took to get Charlie McCarthy to speak
Heracious Veracious The honesty and truthfulness of women most of the time!!
Everacity Veracity Forever truthful.
Verbotim Verbatim Speak not !
Herbose Verbose High energy talk by and about women.
Overbose Verbose Talking too much
Verbossly Verbosely An employer who cannot cease talking
Everbosity Verbosity Our right of free speech must never cease!
Verbesity Verbosity Talking too much makes you fat
Verboscity Verbosity Washington D.C.
Nerdant Verdant Immature, naive scholar.
Verdisimilitude Verisimilitude A new opera written in the style of Verdi
Verisimilidude Verisimilitude A person pretending to be another (usually famous) person
Verisimilitune Verisimilitude A song that borrows most of the music from a well known old tune
Verklompt Verklempt Stomped senseless by a Dutchman
Vermine Vermin Confession to your child’s teacher your kid was the first to have lice
Verneacular Vernacular Common words used by a French science fiction writer
Verseace Versace Someone who writes really good poetry or song lyrics
Vortical Vertical A spinning jump
Vastibule Vestibule Large entrance hall
Bestigial Vestigial Half the man I used to be
Veteram Veteran A sheep with battle scars
Veteranarian Veterinarian A doctor for old soldiers
Veturinary Veterinary An animal urologist.
Icarious Vicarious A rapid loss of faith in the reliability of waxed wings when flying towards the sun
Vicarous Vicarious A cockney priests 'ome
Vitchyssoisse Vichyssoisse A potato allergy
Vicissidude Vicissitude A man who keeps changing relationships and jobs.
Vicissiludes Vicissitudes The way hallucinogens alter one’s sense of life’s ups and downs
Vagilante Vigilante A woman who takes the law into her own hands
Vigilatte Vigilante On the lookout for good coffee
Vignyette Vignette A poor trait
Vikink Viking [1] A wrinkled marauder;
[2] a specific bedroom roleplay
Silify Vilify Childish, inane, outlandish ways to defame others
Kindicate Vindicate DNA determines true parentage and heritage.
Wineyard Vineyard A heuriger
Biolence Violence Germ warfare
Violince Violence Committing mayhem with a stringed instrument
Violeft Violet Purple on the port side
Sirgin Virgin Aristocratic drunk who likes martinis
Dirtuoso Virtuoso Expert of the sordid, unethical, illegal ways of life.
Virtuosot Virtuoso A genius or prodigy, but only when soused
Viruslence Virulence The quietitude of self-isolation
Viruslent Virulent Something even more infectious and dangerous to one's mental health
Vis0 Visa Maxing out your cards in Tijuana and having to walk back to San Diego in shameh (see definition of shameh supplied by same author)
Viscereal Visceral Clearly not food for thought!
Viscusity Viscosity Letting the expletives flow forth, fluidly
Visigoeths Visigoths Germans who essayed into Spain
Vitalmin Vitamin Your personal nutritionist that is absolutely essential to your survival
Vintriol Vitriol An outpour of sour grapes
Virtuperative Vituperative Cruel criticism based on presumed virtue
Vitupperative Vituperative Negative feelings about plastic food storage
Vivacuous Vivacious A blonde
Vivacuous Vivacious Perky, outgoing, and dumb
Vivicious Vivacious Being full of animation and spirit whilst tearing the limbs of someone who deserves it.
Vocawulary Vocabulary Language content of blackbird calls
Fociferous Vociferous Being loudly vocal about your enemies
Vociferrous Vociferous Knife-edge strident
Noicemail Voicemail Children's letters delivered to the North Pole covered with frost are thawed out by the elves.
Jolatile Volatile Prone to frequent inappropiate, unbalanced fits of laughter.
Volcanot Volcano A mountain refuses to flush its lavatory
Volkswager Volkswagen The people's bet
Volcuptuous Voluptuous Increased bra size after a breast implant.
Volumptuous Voluptuous A woman having curves in all the wrong places.
Volumptuous Voluptuous Lovely lady lumps
Omitous Vomitous Dry heaves
Goracious Voracious Ugly raw passion
Vortax Vortex A vicious downward moral spiral induced by the annual tax return
Pouchsafe Vouchsafe Hurray! The baby kangaroo has completed its arduous journey
Joyages Voyages Transports of delight
Whaffle Waffle An especially light and fluffy breakfast pastry
Wagnurian Wagnerian Pngumatic Antelope
Swainwright Wainwright A suitable suitor
Awaiter Waiter A frustrated diner trying to catch the eye of the maître d’
Fakeboarding Wakeboarding Keeping surf gear strapped to your car but having no idea how to use it
Waldorff Waldorf Hotel California
Walrush Walrus [1] The race among giant tusked seals to find a mate;
[2] results of a blue-light special at America's largest brick-and-mortar retailer
Pwan Wan A pale and listless little blobster
Panderlust Wanderlust The drive to be a people-pleaser
Wanderlist Wanderlust The names on a piece of paper on a clipboard carried by volunteer membersof a Search and Rescue group
Wandermust Wanderlust Those who are addicted to travel anywhere and at any time
Wannabed Wannabe An ambitious suitor
Barlock Warlock Closing time at the pub
Wasabe Wasabi Tonto’s Japanese homey
Wasailing Wassailing Did not feel well
Waistewater Wastewater The stuff Depends (tm) couldn’t quite handle
Hastrel Wastrel Impulsive person
Watchmax Watchman Binge viewings
Waterfail Waterfall Going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
Waterlilt Waterlily The rhythm of the sea
Waterfelons Watermelons Pirates
Weavel Weave A long-snouted beetle woven from a boll of cotton
Webshite Website Crap you find on the Internet
Weldgie Wedgie An tragic ironworker's mishap; an unfortunate sealing of one's glutes
Weepend Weekend A Saturday funeral
Weedabix Weetabix A popular breakfast cereal in the UK than has a THC additive.
Eightlifting Weightlifting After their Olympic victory in the 8 oared rowing final the crew picked up their boat and held it over their heads in triumph
Weiry Weir 1] Damn tired
2] Tiered dam
Helcome Welcome A greeting before an upcoming bad experience. ex: Helcome to your IRS audit
Wellders Welders Do-gooders motivated only by personal profit.
Wherewolf Werewolf Little Red Riding Hood's desperate query
Swheaten Wheaten A sugar loaf
Weedle Wheedle Persuading undesirable plants to remove themselves
Wheelborrow Wheelbarrow Your neighbor still hasn't returned your garden cart.
Werewithal Wherewithal When they lost the wherewithal to do something , all they were left with was the werewithal
Wherewithale Wherewithal Spicy spirits offered as extra remuneration
Wheyl Whey A warm-blooded blowhard made of curdled plankton
Twhined Whined Bound up in futile remonstrance
Hippersnapper Whippersnapper Opposite of whippersnapper
Whoppersnapper Whippersnapper One who confronts liars
Whirligip Whirligig A pyramid scheme, for example
Whiskler Whisker A person with an extraordinary talent for styling beards and moustaches.
Thistle Whistle Blowing a tune with a lisp
Whiskled Whistled Fluted and stirred
Chorehouse Whorehouse A barn
Whyf Whyf A female lifetime partner in a continuing marital relationship that questions everything
Wickit Wicket [1] A small gate from IKEA;
[2] adding twine to a candle
Wickedkeeper Wicketkeeper A nasty man with big pads on his shins and large gloves on his hands who stands behind a group of sticks in the middle of a big field
Swigwam Wigwam North American native bar
Wigwag Wigwam A wobbly wigwam
Wokipedia Wikipedia Left wing website
Wildeyeest Wildebeest Brewer’s choice in the African savanna
Mildfires Wildfires Ordinary, regular but certainly not caused by bogus Climate Change!
Wimpledon Wimbledon A very prestigious tennis tournament played at England's hallowed grounds but restricted to nuns only.
Findow Window View into a fish
Wundows Windows The persistent habit of your computers operating system to keep falling asleep.
Pinebibber Winebibber Ewell Gibbons
Whinery Winery The crying room
Windsome Winsome Nautical term: When the breeze is sufficient to riase the sail
Winsone Winsome Dad’s only child marries an awesome gentleman.
Wintome Winsome Enchanting scholarly volume.
Twired Wired Really fatigued yet jacked up.
Wushes Wishes Dreams that get blown away in a heart beat
Withdrawl Withdrawal A slow way to end the conversation
Withper Wither A shriveled shout
Foebegone Woebegone Your adversary permanently exits. Hooray!!
Ewoke Woke Being aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues, especially issues of racial and social injustice on the Forest Moon of the planet Endor.
Worke Woke The antidote
Jokeness Wokeness Insensitive, demeaning "humor" about inequalities
Twoman Woman A pair of gender-conflicted hermaphrodites
Swon Won A lucky ugly duckling
Wonderfoul Wonderful A particularly long, or otherwise spectacular foul ball in baseball
Wonderfuel Wonderful The first coffee of the morning
Owool Wool A Knitjar
Woird Word A weird word
Swordiness Wordiness Excessive talking during a sword fight
Wordles Wordless Like WPMI, but with up to six attempts at one-letter changes and no attempt at definitions.
Wardplay Wordplay N.; the act of goofing off in a hospital
Wordploy Wordplay A linguistic tactic intended to mislead or gain advantage.
Wordpray Wordplay The act of submitting a word to a website's invitational and praying that it is witty enough to make the list.
Whorldly Worldly Sophisticated and experienced in a twisted sort of way
Worthwhale Worthwhile A jackpot; a big prize
Wrent Wren Famous British architect and builder invents a new way to get money from leasing out his buildings
Wrankles Wrinkles The creases on your lower leg once you take your socks off
Punderkind Wunderkind Child prodigy with inate ability to create awesome words for WPMI.
Xanadud Xanadu Not the utopia you expected
Exenophobia Xenophobia Fear of divorced strangers
Xerophobia Xenophobia Fear of photocopying machines
Zenophobia Xenophobia A fear of meditating
Tenophobic Xenophobic Anti anything ten !
Xeroscaping Xeriscaping The process of landscaping that eliminates the need for irrigation by removing all the plants
Xylowphone Xylophone A man who speaks in Basso Profundo
Xysmap Xysma Directions to a sewage treatment facility
Yestersay Yesterday All the words and sentiments you wish you had said when you had the chance.
Seti Yeti Abominable Couch Potato Syndrome!
Kiddish Yiddish The language spoken by Israeli children
Yoduel Yodel The annual alpine singing competition
Yokelf Yokel A backwoods brownie; a pixie hick
Yuccatan Yucatan Protection against the hot Mexican sun achieved by siting in the shade of a large cactus
Zaftic Zaftig Rather chubby blood sucking parasite.
Zeitgeise Zeitgeist Duck-defining epochs with a speciefic margin of era
Zitgeist Zeitgeist An unfortunate period in one's teenage years
Piggurat Ziggurat Porcine pyramid
Zionish Zionist Supports Israel but has some concerns
Sodiac Zodiac One addicted to drinking soda
Zbombie Zombie How you really end the zombie apocalypse
Zonet Zone An area of seven rhyming couplets or one iambic pentameter
Zoologicall Zoological Bow-wow, bellow, meow, quack, roar, coo, and squeak
Moology Zoology The behavioral and physiological study of cows
Zuru Zulu A Samurai with an assegai