Prior Winners 2012

The 2012 contest is closed.   The top ten vote getters are now at the top of the list – in RED.   Please see the 2013 page for new submissions.

Word
Definition
Submitted By
Stinkle What you do after eating asparagus Cheryl Jacques
Leadersh*t The result of promoting a person with no management skills to a management position, especially if that person is your idiot cousin Kevin Sutherland
travelsty a dreadful occurrence while on vacation Stuart Hagmann
emaelstrom A swirling state of affairs in one’s inbox that relentlessly sucks one deeper and deeper into email, with no regard for time and space Brendan Walsh
chloroform The shape of green, according to synesthetes Alex Bond
vagilante a woman who takes the law into her own hands James Kipling
tauntology n., an insult repeated many times in different forms. Derek Rogers
placego A false sense of self-esteem developed through years of earning “Participant” ribbons in competitions Frank Rytkonen
Turbotox noun. An enhancer that will allow you to smooth out the wrinkles in your tax return Claire Dunnington
Baggravation When you are carrying a paper grocery bag and one of the handles rips off Gary Goodman
psycophancy Sycophancy verging on mindless worship Vali Jamal
bumper a pad to help boats deal with pier pressure Derek Rogers
shamebles A shambles where shame is involved.  E.g. The agency has been in a state of shamebles ever since the revelation of the affair Vali Jamal
experimental a mad scientist’s work Derek Rogers
tumbling A bellybutton ring Robert Kraft
hegemoney The hegemony of the dollar Vali Jamal
factori A place that produces roots of complex numbers David Spharler
sentimental crazy about the past Derek Rogers
hexting (v): To bewitch, cast a spell or charm or practice witchcraft via SMS messaging Anna Tennis
excellint when the dryer screen comes clean on the first try Bar Lowenberg
conslutting To exhange services for free with someone seeking expertise; to seek more than advice or information of an individual reputed as an expert Tracy Snider
Idiosyncrazies A particularly crazy peculiarity or characteristic of an individual or group Tracy Snider
apocalapse still here after 12/21/12 tbv
Ruele A Rule you regret not heeding or obeying Andrew Herden
Texan Activity that the lousy driver in front of you is engaged in John Fretwell
Gagnostic A person who is uncertain about the existence of jokes Barry Whaites
Menions (pl.) Men who are underlings or devoted followers of a woman and will perform at her bidding without question James Lascot
Lexicon Noun – A shady purveyor of used Lexus automobiles Barett Byrd
tatool that nincompoop covered in tatoos John Kontrick
antellectual adj. opposed to the use of the intellect or intelligence.  n. such a person; fool; ignoramus William Kohlhasee
leptover The smallest quark that can be saved for later use David Spharler
Transvestime That moment when you realise you’re in the wrong bar Alastair Hannaford
claptivate to capture another’s attention by applauding Irene DeBlasio
blump The body size between zaftig and obese Sam Downing
idiotsyncrasy an individual trait which is really foolish terrence vantaggi
toilert n. the noise made by an occupant as someone approaches the stall/bathroom to ensure they are aware it is occupied Brian Smith
halucynate seeing images of Lucille B Irene DeBlasio
Hominyvore Someone who likes grits Steve Meyer
scentipede a 100-legged insect that can track smells like a bloodhound Michael Sandow
Boron Not only dumb, but uninteresting, as well Steve Meyer
happendectomy the accidental removal of an appendix Sam Downing
Whyf a female lifetime partner in a continuing marital relationship that questions everything Katie Rutherford
Flount a general-purpose word for people who confuse ‘flout’ and ‘flaunt’ Derek Rogers
wanderness Those places you enjoy getting lost Jeff Crane
karmarang Bad luck that comes back again and again Virginia Crane
testickle butterflies in the stomach before an exam John Kontrick
morotonous The second and third time the same email joke is received name withheld
Groovity the natural force that surrounds cool people Gary Goodman
squintessential When you can’t see a critical difference David Spharler
epathy understanding how someone feels but not caring Julie Spangler
kingdum A country of stupid people matt hodgson
nagnostic A woman who has no faith in her husband’s competencies, and keeps telling him about it Charlie Lesko
Foxymoron A smart blonde Jean-Paul Churchouse
Unaswear The state of being completely oblivious to your surroundings, allowing you to curse freely and openly, only to notice you are not alone Amanda King
flockulation the results produced by good ministers Bea vonTobel
Mandelbrot A type of German bread which still looks like a full loaf no matter how thinly it is sliced. Derek Rogers
Science Friction The measure of impedance Scientific Facts the Economists consider when presenting their theories attempting to model the Real World.  The default is 0. Andrew Herden
M@arinate Baste with an orange sauce David Spharler
IKIA A Swedish car which comes in 721 boxes with 1230 pages of diagrams and 3 simple tools Barry Whaites
Feory A Theory that instills fear or terror when pondered Andrew HErden
jack-of-all-tirades Someone who is angry at everybody and lets them know it Garry Bracken
infilthrate the proportional speed of surreptitiously adding grime David Spharler
mandemonium The chaos, shrieking, and complete disruption resulting from a surprise visit by the Chippendale’s dancers to your wife’s birthday party Scott Weldon
SchadenfruedeF The cynical pleasure teachers get when they give bad grades Charley Binkow
acrimoney Money derived from ill-gotten gains Hazel Vargas
Fibromyalgebra Math hurts Name Withheld
Financé The man or woman you are marrying for money. Michael McCone
Sapontification Soapbox Sermon Nat Adam
factitious new meaning of existing word, use of a fact by a politian to try to prove an unrelated argument Mike Hosey
Paradocs Two doctors who contradict each othe Michelle Matthews
epoophany a moment of sudden clarity after some time on the toilet VK
peecrastinate When you hold out for your hotel instead of  going at the rest area Annelies Stoelinga
irrevelant The English language badly needs this word to describe a statement which is a) unrevealing; doesn’t say anything, b) irreverent, and c) Irrelevant Bob Rutz
styncophant The smelly guy you can’t shake off at the party Name Withheld
factate when a woman recites endless studies about breastfeeding superiority Sean McElhiney
Humk One who is in an inbetween state –  between being a hulk  a hunk Vicki Black
Fartichoke Gag reflex reaction to the flatulence of a vega Michelle Matthews
Furrious Personally angered by too much body hair William Dirlam
travishing when popular opinion says something is beautiful that is actually repulsive Sean McElhiney
tintinnambulation Toddler walking around with bells on her shoes Chris Sheridan
Respite To commit a mean, vengeful act again Derek Rogers
erodition txtng Doug Langmead
brestitution anything done to make up for staring at a woman’s chest Sean McElhiney
Brainbow an accessory that holds bright ideas together Alisan Peters
Hangry so hungry that you start to get angry Cindy Reddaway
brotectorate a group of male friends who watch out for each other Sean McElhiney
ingenueity n. creativity or innovation presented by an innocent young woman Lynn DuPree
Imposium A meeting of questionable value, often called on short notice, requiring participation by people who have little to no value to add, that imposes upon people’s time and impedes productivity Glenn Pollick
Riduculous (Adj.) Absolutely over the top or an absurdly difficult task or objective Nick Sandoval
cadriver An oblivious motorist that is clearly dead to the world Name Withheld
Cabitchulate to give up in the face of screaming meemies Alisan Peters
Piglot Designated helmsman for the day when pigs can fly Michelle Matthews
gymnausium when guys won’t shut up about their workouts. Sean McElhiney
assholesence Being a teenager Jessica A.
Hepilepsy The spasmodic condition that results when one who thinks he’s totally cool, can’t dance a lick William Dirlam
hurricant I am NOT dealing with this storm! Patricia Bowersox
crassified when you whisper something to your friend that would be embarrassing out loud Sean McElhiney
retiredment The physical change when you retire and begin to relax Melanie Curtin
Market Farces the influences defining the current economic rational Andrew Herden
falsifried Standing too close to the fireplace with your new boobs Patricia Bowersox
Faceboob (n) Any investor who buys into an IPO priced at 80 times forward earnings William Dirlam
spychology Noun: The subversive and/or covert study of the human mind Andrew Meldrum
arsylum seekers Those seeking protection from arseholes (assholes) Andrew Herden
cynicalm skeptical but really peaceful about it Patricia Bowersox
goldenlox seniors meet for brunch lynne diedolf
Dilitaunt A negative verbal assault by someone who has no clue William Dirlam
copulater A farewell with a promise of meeting later Andrew Herden
pystified pissed and mystified at the same time Marge McIntyre
Chjeer The art of applause whilst delivering unbeknowst Sarchasm (see last years winners) Bryan McKinlay
Solidude A guy who likes his quiet time Kevin Sutherland
Smarmot An obsequious little rodent, often found in politics J. Cates
frogile a delicate amphibian Jeff Jackson
Confidentilaity Secrets of the faithful Sarita Nair
Ribelius Ooph! If the Philharmonic plays ‘Finlandia’ one more time this season, I’m cancelling my subscription! Yosef Branse
Hempty Being out of weed Todd
stopid ceasing to be dumb Jeff Jackson
Donfirmation A Mafia mob boss who offers a guarantee on his hit men Scott Weldon
Collaberration A mongrel, primarily derived from Collie, Labrador, and Alsation lineage Dave E
textify Describes the only way teenagers will  communicate with their church or the court system in the future James Spurlock
conclussion The injury aquired when the truth hits you upside the head Phil
Clangdestine A covert operation that everyone hears about Derek Rogers
Amnesthesia A pardon extended to anything said while under the influence of medical narcotics (could also include “recreational” narcotics if desired) Christian Hargrove
gearrolous a driver who shifts too much Jeff Jackson
selfabrandizement A well executed personal presence or publicity campaign the lacks the substance, skill, or talent to warrant such a public presence Aaron Miedema
Awfulsome When something is so bad that it curves around into being good. “G.I. Joe was truly awfulsome” Hopper Stone
liquefly To swat a fly in such a manner that its insides splash everywhere John Smith
Operaytion Laser surgery Derek Rogers
tong a gong with a lisp Jeff Jackson
oblication Using your two weeks of vacation to visit family Charles Gardiner
statusticians n. Beauticians of the status quo. Those who prefer to put lipstick on a problem rather than effect any substantive change Anne Milkovich
Exhaustion A Tired Motor Car Martin Kowen
telepathetic The male characteristic of being totally unable to read a female’s mind, although he’s apparently supposed to be able to Mark Wisniewski
Marital Counselling – Martial Arts No explanation needed for married people!  But even more funny is the fact that Marital Counselling was followed immediately by Martial Arts in the Winnipeg , Canada Yellow pages a few years back Shane Nestruck
Redumption The act of forgiving God for polluting our planet with a superfluity of stupid people Naima Butler
helcome A greeting before an upcoming bad experience.  ex: Helcome to your IRS audit George Ewton
Grammar The old fashioned way your Nana talks Derek Rogers
piono (pee-OH-NO, n.)  1. The result of forgetting to open one’s fly completely in the men’s room.      2. The split second in which one realizes one is urinating but there is no sound Jack Gelb
premaditation The act of cleaning your house before the cleaning people arrive Charles Gardiner
syncing feeling The frustration one feels when one is unable to link one’s mailbox to one’s cell phone chetana
Husbank A long suffering husband who continually finances his trophy wife’s outlandish spending habits Emma Sharp
inwastement To put your money into stocks or mutual funds Name Withheld
ambassadork a representative who has credentials but is a real looser Stuart Hagmann
harmaceutical (Well, it’s more accurate.) Ross Kovac
Democrazy The frenzy that people work themselves into during the elections chetana
retox What you do after you’re done doing all that purity bs Christine Noll
encrouchment (v.) when a short term visitor somehow becomes a permanent roommate without your approval Emma Sharp
hamnesiac overly dramatic actor who can’t remember where he lives Stuart Hagmann
Nitification A communication usually from in-laws or ex-spouses pointing out your minor flaws or mistakes Robert Baron
meanderthal someone who wanders slowly and aimlessly around shopping malls Malcolm Gomersall
likosuction Medical procedure that removes the fatty substance from the teenaged brain which causes the involuntary overuse of the word ‘like’ Donna Griffin
electrickle What’s left in the flashlight when the battery is almost dead Sarah
Conquest (v.):  The act of searching for an escaped criminal Emma Sharp
scarcasm personal criticism leaving lasting scar; the result of a sarcastic comment Gudrun Howard
nomomatopoeia A word that sound like something you want to eat Holly McCarthy
shivalry Placing your coat over a puddle for a lady to cross, in very cold weather Kevin Ford
cienema a film event that manages to clean out your lower intestinal track Stuart Hagmann
Guinesis First book of the Irish Bible Kevin Ford
poliptical force in a government that moves in circles that always seem to return to the same point Stuart Hagmann
Dilapilatory a hair removal product that leaves you looking shabby and rundown Derek Rogers
Ladiators Women who kept their cool while fighting in the Colosseum in Rome Larry Porter
creditbard a plastic rectangle that provides you with recitations in iambic pentameter for which you pay monthly Stuart Hagmann
Polygon a missing parrot Derek Rogers
bookwort The stickem that remains on the back cover when you try to remove the price tag Kevin Ford
fictionary A book of words containing fake meanings Larry Porter
ampathetic Really loud lousiness Brian Albert Smith
Asylum Institution where inmates have trivial and vapid discussions with imaginary friends Ira Bourstein
wishper A secret longing expressed in hushed tones Barbara Yost
Stragedy (noun) A disastrous event that occurs despite a well thought out plans to prevent such an event from happening Zack Mullikin
prigmatic Conveniently self-righteous Kate Kleist
unferno A very small fire, or anything that is “not so hot” Jack Koeper
supperfluid The state of matter your dinner becomes after drinking the water in Mexico Betty Clune
Obeisity Showing way too much respect for food Derek Rogers
lessimist Someone for whom everything falls short of their standards Christopher Domres
Rue a street in France that you regret having taken Derek Rogers
pathapathetic When you don’t care you bad you are Brian Albert Smith
hozone Seedy  neighborhood where crack addicted prostitutes loiter. Ira Bourstein
Femorabilia The things that women save that men do not understand. Kate Kleist
dozone Region within the cerebral cortex where Homer Simpson’s moments of insight germinate Ira Bourstein
Milqueboast n. A person who is timid, meek, spineless, unassertive and proud of it Sharys Wheeler
Paradigms Twenty-cent behavioral patterns. Derek Rogers
Kibbutzer, n. One who offers unwanted advice to tillers of the soil Andrew Raivars
melondramatic Fruit Opera Carol Palombo
Dreadnaught An extremely large tangle with the capability to destroy perfectly brushed hair. Sean Mathews
deja pu A mixed breed dog that seems very familiar George Wrasse
Omnipresent 1. The perfect gift for the person who has everything. 2. The perfect gift for any occasion. Derek Rogers
marionating flavoring of meat by dipping it in sauce using strings and a paddle Joe Pelej
Electrocity Power bill Jim Baltaxe
asspiration exhalation of bodily air from an opening other than the mouth Joe Pelej
Moetry in potion Adding the good champagne to the witch’s cauldron George Wrasse
Disconcerting cancelling a musical performance Derek Rogers
schadenfraud taking pleasure in seeing white collar criminals arrested Jim Dunbar
zenophobia a fear of meditating Sam Wege
Macebook A sex-offender registry Jim Dunbar
shucksession Today’s state of the economy and the lies that got us here. Michael Burke
boohickey A mark on the neck left by an affectionate ghost. Mark Willenbring
apprendicitis A distressful condition  resulting from infatuation with your office female intern.  “A cute” apprenticitis can put you in bed for weeks. Name Withheld
oblitherate To painfully tolerate the blitherings of another as an obligatory move. shellee
Kardachien A leopard print french poodle with its own reality show and clothing line Jim Dunbar
Meaterologist A meateorologist is one who studies meteors. Wronknee
myshugana Someone you love in spite of their being crazy. Mark Willenbring
Payrents Parents who still pay for necessities, like rent, for their post-college children Todd Meierhans
ippadectomy An operation to separate someone from their iPad. Mark Willenbring
retailiation Getting back at your ex by running up a big bill at expensive stores, shopping with his/her credit card. DAVID T
Disenchantised (disenfranchised + disenchanted).  Feeling a sense of powerlessness and disappointment while waiting in line at your favorite theme park. Justin Brooten
Dflat That state of being in which one finds oneself after going to sleep in the third dimension and waking in the second dimension. Audrey Borisov
fickle cell anemia A disease of the blood that runs through every three-year-old, causing them to completely change their mind the second you get them what they ask for. Matt FritzMiller
pessimist the fog that rolls in and ruins the day at the beach just like you already told everyone it would. Derek Rogers
Temperature Inversion When the low temperature reading for a given twenty four hour period exceeds the high temperature reading for that same period then we have what is referred to in meteorological circles as a “temperature inversion”. Wronknee
baroccoli A vegetable preferred by the President. Mark Willenbring
Irreducable adj.  When you have already limited your cable subscription to the fewest stations possible in an attempt to save money. Justin Brooten
incompoop REALLY clueless about money. Raoul Widman
Facus (n.) an artificial ornamental tree or shrub often found in offices or waiting rooms Justin Brooten
Sarcasmic Sarcasm + Orgasmic
When being a smartass just feels that good.
Name Withheld
You Tubiquitous Video viewed verily virally Steve  Marvin
Certificute an adorable little diploma Scott Beyer
endomorphin The mind numbing neurotransmitter produced by watching Power Rangers. Alison Pierce
guidance rhythmic body movements resulting in a Graphical User Interface. Lorien Smith
salman A fishy character. Mark Willenbring
momenclature words that mothers use repeatedly to direct their children.  The meaning might be sometimes ambiguous to others but the children understand them perfectly. Don Ray
Entertrainment “all aboard” for the show Scott Beyer
exercuse The excuse you use to avoid exercise. Kelley Slack
Dairyhoea a side effect of lactose intolerance. Derek Rogers
hypnocrisy n. pretending to be asleep, when you are not.
[ from Gk. hypnos “sleep” + Gk. hypokrites “pretender” ]
Raoul Widman
Whinery A kennels. Jim Stewart-Evans
endomorphin dopeamine Alison Pierce
Aword tangible symbolic prize for brevity Scott Beyer
Pulversize To make something small enough to fit into a too-small container by smashing the heck out of it. Kevin Sutherland
Transmogrifry To cook something until it is changed beyond recognition. See also, Fast Food Derek Rogers
guidangst a feeling of extreme anxiety and distress which renders a leader incapable of providing instruction. Lorien Smith
Slowboarding snowboarding in Tahoe’s spring slush Scott Beyer
sargasm the euphoria derived from a perfectly sarcastic remark John Kontrick
Celebrant a diatribe by a well known person. Derek Rogers
Ecoliseum intestinal bacteriarena Scott Beyer
Philanthropissed Someone who is tired of being repeatedly asked for charitable donations. Denny Young
Interfearence The act of wearing a tinfoil hat so that extra-terrestrial beings only hear static when listening to your thoughts. Robyn Kunz
Deuphemism a more agreeable alternate expression used by a deufus. Scott Beyer
Bumtious (adj) – Overtly proud of one’s ass Scott Lomas
Refleshed had plastic surgery Gary Becker
Vivicious Being full of animation and spirit whilst tearing the limbs of someone who deserves it. Troy Scott
Tanorexic too thin, too tan Scott Beyer
canflagration an out of control sterno campfire Derek Rogers
Prostituition Working the streets to help pay for college Bruce Dillon
diaryhoea (n) – Journal used for recording bowel movements Scott Lomas
deciball a dance event with incredibly loud music Laura Dettloff
Indiguestion when you are sick of someone who always visits your house unannounced Gary Becker
Flabulous overweight and really wonderful! Derek Rogers
ruminhate Just thinkin’   Why did I think this person would be a good person to share living expenses with? Carol Palombo
shubris Excessive pride in one’s footwear. Chelsea
bupkiss a meaningless kiss, such as often seen between people in show business Derek Rogers
hypertrophyed a man who is married to his second or third very attractive, much younger wife Laura Dettloff
Bivocal one who talks out of both sides of their mouth Gary Becker
Poxygen Poor quality air Scott Lomas
Appelation A name, such as that applied to a mountain range. Derek Rogers
Constipatience Resigning oneself to standing when stools are not available Becky d’Ugo
Laardvark (n) Long-nosed burrowing animal that eats lots and lots of ants Scott Lomas
Deja tu You again Derek Rogers
Dermographics the classification of people according to their tattoos Gary Becker
catpitulate To give in and let the cat have its way Laura Dettloff
message therapy variation: message therapist,
editor, spin doctor, political hack,…
Travis Randolph
Commodation Crap housing Scott Lomas
Inconsequential things out of order but no one cares. Derek Rogers
Harmaceutical a drug with more disclosures and warnings than benefits to the patient Gary Becker
iCophant (noun). pron. EYE-cuh-fant 1. An obsessive fan of any new product introduction from Apple Computer Co. 2. An unpaid public relations officer for Apple, who feels compelled to share their press releases with their friends. 3. An annoying serial purchaser of Apple’s shiny new products who must inform the rest of the pixel-sliding world how superior their latest gizmo is to anything else on the market Joseph R. Duffus
Nocturnal submission An email sent after 9pm. F.Douglas Stephenson
Anticipissity (an-tis-a-piss’-a-tee)- the exponentially  increasing urge to urinate the closer you get to the bathroom Tim Cobb
Myopia A society of nearsighted people. Derek Rogers
Colonic irritation Someone who is annoying but not quite a pain in the ass John Klarica
Pupdate what your dog is giving you when he barks CC Xander
idiota I’m stupid and I don’t care a bit. Carol Palombo
Lexistentialism defining the value of ones life in terms of premium Japanese cars. Derek Rogers
apocraphal A story that, despite the gravity lent to it by its patina of age, is still BS Laura Dettloff
enormopus a written article or musical work that was to be short and sweet but became too long John Gilmour
Delarious Marked by uncontrolled laughter, everything becomes extremely funny or hilarious when one suffering from uncontrolled emotion. Usually brought on by over exertion or fatigue. Tim Sereda
crapathy not giving a s*** Derek Rogers
Shoe String A thin, limp implement used to “shoo” away pests. Carol Kelly
trustic The penchant of rural Americans for leaving their doors unlocked and their keys in the car. Laura Dettloff
authorgraphed to have a book signed by the author Sharon Yoxtheimer
biliteral having two clear, distinct meanings Derek Rogers
Testosterain a strong downpour CCXander
congrassman A male member of the U.S. Senate or House of Representatives who is in favor of the legalization of marajuana. (also see Congrasswoman) chris newton
perversaverence Dedication to depravity. James Jackson
vivacuous perky, outgoing, and dumb Derek Rogers
Vaticant The inability of the Holy See to control rogue clerics Laura Dettloff
Diagnosticism the belief that the cause of anything and everything can be identified, as long as its truth is ultimately unknowable CCXander
lexicon a well-read prison inmate Derek Rogers
tripidation having anxiety over pending travel plans Ronnie Roitman
Brandy (n) The cow that is in the process of being branded. Carol Kelly
Smartyrdom sacrificing, to your spouse, your need to be right CC Xander
crapitalism crony capitalism characterized by politicians and businessmen shmoozing and wheeling and dealing. Philip Coladonato
Las Vegans We love to gamble, but will definitely pass on the buffet. Carol Palombo
Dogmatic A robotic canine. Derek Rogers
Polygon Alternate meaning ; Dead parrot or escaped parrot. Colm Corcoran
Racquisition when one gets breast implants CC Xander
Mailstrom The powerful current, running against your life, once you realize that your mail is being stolen. Todd Meierhans
Sunday A day to honor male children. Carol Kelly
abracadaver a word to make a dead person disappear Ronnie Roitman
Delightenment Taking joy in accepting increasingly misinformed ideas. Derek Rogers
Poolite giving a courtesy flush CC Xander
Dentist (n) The person who bumped into your car in the parking lot. Carol Kelly
Fakeover When your beauty consultant invites you to your favorite makeup counter for a   makeover from their national makeup artist which doesn’t quite achieve the desired effect. Rick Hendrickson
Tauntamount Equivalent to an insult Derek Rogers
Passengerk the fellow on the plane who just won’t shut up CC Xander
funbling The awkward acts of progress or regress yet having fun in the process. One may often find this old f_rt funbling with communications technologies. Jack Popp
angiopasty A device when applied properly, has the ability to cure a man’s broken heart. Phil Grayson
Manufracturer Industrial hit-man. Carol Palombo
junkit a box of stuff you have no use for Ronnie Roitman
Polltry which came first, the chickenshit politician or the egg on his face CC Xander
Flount a general purpose word for people who keep confusing ‘flaunt’ and ‘flout’ Derek Rogers
emotericism The belief that secret mystical information is encoded in the lyrics of whiny indie-pop music. Michael Heyman
peripathetic To travel around in a pitiful way Scott Lomas
Parashoot the last word of a fallen man CC Xander
gassimilate Getting used to that high-fiber diet. Carol Palombo
chronillogical events which don’t make sense in any order. Derek Rogers
Muttress where one can let sleeping dogs lie CC Xander
tincandescent Emitting light meal when heated Scott Lomas
tailisman charm that covers your ass. Carol Palombo
Momnivore Cougar hunters CC Xander
exitentialism A strong, philosophical desire to leave any lecture on Kierkegaard. Derek Rogers
carma used car salesman’s comeuppance. Carol Palombo
Mechantic people who say they can fix your car, but don’t CC Xander
Slidewalks Moving walkways found in airports Sue Walker
medistation n :  an area of the home used only for spiritual practices George Felos
sobmission Taking on the responsibility of relaying a particular sad story. Carol Palombo
Irrelephant big things that just don’t matter CC Xander
pilosophy Words of wisdom inspired by consumption of hallucinogenic drugs. Michael Heyman
Impoossible a synonym for constipation CC Xander
zenlightened I really, really got it! Carol Palombo
Frecal Matter (adj) Freaky Crap Blake
romeopathy Treatment of disease by infinitesimal doses of tragic romance. Michael Heyman
Fignorance when you are not quite sure what Isaac Newton discovered CC Xander
raisin d’etre 1. The purpose of a grape’s existence.
2. A grape’s moment in the sun.
Derek Rogers
receptickle When you just stuck your hand in something and you don’t know what it is, but if feels good. Carol Palombo
asslete A person who is both a professional athlete and a professional asshole. Moe H.
Glash the vessel into which you pour your seventh glass of wine CC Xander
tenticles (n) The long metal supports which are placed in the inside of a dome tent while pitching it. Ellen Zimmerli
Oblitereat How most North Americans consume their food. Ron Carter
Connoisewur one  who is excellent at recognizing when someone or something is full of crap CC Xander
fibuciary n., a person who lies about investments or property entrusted to them. Derek Rogers
farceny comedic plaegirism Carol Palombo
Evidents what the un-insured driver just left on your car CC Xander
Leopardy What is a feline trivia game show? Carol Palombo
ignorgant Taking pride in how much you don’t know.  (“ignorant” + “arrogant”)  Commonly found in … well, everywhere! Matt Simek
diatripe A long pedantic speech another gives about facts that are clearly incorrect (at least, in your opinion (-:  ) Geoffrey F. Gross
Digitalk what texting should be called CC Xander
butteries Anatomical cells retaining the energy to get you up and off your ass.  Unfortunately, most people cannot find out where they left them. No Name on submission
Whinery The crying room Carol Palombo
snice (n) The result of freezing rain mixed with snow, which forms a white crusty, crunchy cover to your yard. Ellen Zimmerli
Deoderaint when everyone knows it’s not workin’ CC Xander
p-mail what one’s canine stops to check at mailbox posts, tufts of grass, fire hydrants, etc. during a walk Roberta Bass
Influenza Italian persuasion Carol Palombo
Medibation An action which renders one simultaneously calm and excited. herbert sontz
Confidance the belief that what looks like a seizure is actually art CC Xander
sparadigm The pattern or set of conditions that define being poor, as in “Buddy can you…” Matt Simek
angoraphobia n., a fear of meeting a large number of rabbits in an open space. Derek Rogers
tossues (n) used tissues which are crumpled up and thrown. Ellen Zimmerli
Confidental Self-assured smile. Carol Palombo
Cansiderate those who recycle CC Xander
sockroach (n.): The fuzzy bits of sock left on the carpet that you mistake for a bug until you get right up on it. Ken Norris
tenticles (n) The long metal supports which are placed in the inside of a dome tent while pitching it. Ellen Zimmerli
wrankle (v) To cause feelings of anger and frustration in a woman by selling her an anti-aging product which is not only obscenely expensive but totally ineffective. Virginia Barrett
jetiquette Proper and appropriate behavior while flying. Nicole Goltra
Umderstand when you do, but not really CC Xander
Mannekin Mannequins related to one another.  A family of mannequins. Nicole Goltra
crudibility n., the believability of questionable information. Ex. “Can you believe this crap!?” Derek Rogers
Chimponzee those network marketers whose businesses never evolve CC Xander
Breakfist the early morning grasp for food on your way out the door CC Xander
Carcolepsy t h e   i n a b i l i t y   t o   s t a y   a w a k e   w h i l e   d r i v i n g CC Xander
mortcage n., a house with a resale value below the balance owing in financing. Derek Rogers
wisp Worthless Internet Service Suppliers who have the most downtime, which clearly is proportional to the number of computer programmers who are paid to think up something new to buy or that you have to use until it crashes for the last time. Sharon Holmes
lispstick Popsicle stick treatment for lisping.  Side effects are weight gain and tongue slivers. Sharon Holmes
fanguage 1. n., the dialect spoken by vampires.
2. n., the jargon spoken by fans of science fiction movies.
Derek Rogers
mendacity n., false promises to implement urban renewal. Derek Rogers
saydist A person who takes delight and pleasure in saying things that hurt other people. Belinda
Autonomous adj., named after oneself Derek Rogers
Eatiquette Dining according to the rules. Carol Palombo
Car-be-que The roasting car and throng of people and vehicles that attend it, thus causing a many-hour delay in traffic. Belinda Conway
Manswer The reply to a comment or situation that only a man would offer.  “Well then, hit it with the bigger hammer!” Severin Hanou
quadrant n. a 4-part, loud, angry speech Derek Rogers
Democrazy Democracy gone wild Nathan Smith
pygmilion the complex relationship between money and the US Congress. allan
phonogenic Someone who sounds way more attractive on the phone than they actually are in person. Mark Chekanow
kidiot An adult without children who has no concept of what it takes to raise and police kids responsibly so that both he and others do not have to suffer through the consequences of his adult cluelessness; ex: an adult who lets a 4-year-old drink an entire frappuccino and then turns him loose in a  mall, restaurant, or other public place. Linda Chekanow
behemouth Too much botox. Carol Palombo
Mirage an eye con Al Clemmons
conoundrum What to name it? Carol Palombo
adheshive sticky substance produced by bees Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola
cellery Mobile phone repository Carol Palombo
extramartial warlike situation between husband and wife Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola
lackberry I forgot my damned phone again. Carol Palombo
opuslence musical composition with an excess of notes Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola
Auntagonist a.k.a. “Uncle” Dave Wagner
canicillin The “junk” that collects on your can opener from opening cans of food. Terrie Burton
sommeliar Wine steward making up for the restaurant’s cheap wine cellar Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola
ideot A person whose ideology makes them stupid. C A (“Al”) Irvine
Overslight accidental character assassination when the original intent was a mere backstabbing. Rick Hendrickson
Sneakeled To be tricked or mislead in a joking manner Summer Antonios
copaseptic A state of cheerfulness, even when one is up to one’s armpits in sewage. Mark Newman
Acrapolis Ancient Greek lavatory. Dave Wagner
Bangst What you feel when you know you’re overdrawn. Dave Wagner
Canniball A sport in which the winners eat the losers. Dave Wagner
Salvotion Artillery saves the day! Dave Wagner
Terriflic A great movie. Dave Wagner
milqueboast A man expressing pride in not being macho Peter Sherwood
subdude conservative attire Doug Langmead
canicillin The “junk” that collects on your can opener from opening cans of food. Terrie Burton
Slober What you do not do when you don’t drink. Frank Hanou
nagrivation n. – (1.) during travel; the act of constantly being told where to go even if you are clearly sure of your route.
(2.) Verbal opposition to GPS route instructions.
(3.) constant one-sided verbal discord met with silent desperation.
Bob Green
Your Word Here!

 

 

13 Responses to Prior Winners 2012

  1. Pingback: Wordplay ... Washington Post Annual Reader Contest — Perceptive Insights

  2. Nairobeast says:

    The hegemoney one made me think of  'hedgemoney' because funds don't grow on trees…

  3. Pingback: Word Play Masters | Little Musings

  4. One would think that such brilliant verbomaniacs would be able to proofread a LITTLE bit …  ;-D  ;-D  ;-D

  5. Doug Langmead says:

    IKIA is brilliant.   It suggests NIKEA – flat-packed furniture that comes in dozens of pieces with 3 tools and no instructions – "Just do it"

  6. David Buck says:

    I still like a genuine (rather than altered) word that I invented a definition for some years ago:
    Marsupial = "Bossy Mother-in-Law"

  7. Alison Moodie says:

    How do you submit a word "in private", i.e. as a competition entry? If I post my best words here won't someone just pinch them?

    • ebaran says:

      Hi Alison – all submissions do not automatically post; they are reviewed prior to being put on the site. The review is described in the information at the top of the page, but in general, we try to make sure the word is not offensive – so religions, graphic sexual content and politics are usually screened out since we don’t want to be the arbiters on any of this. Our guideline is if a 10-year old would understand and their grandparent would not be offended. If your word is posted it will be with your name. The contest is just for fun and runs once a year in January. We post about once every week or so as this is a hobby. The Editor.

  8. Susan Nekimken & monica Moore says:

    We have an ongoing collection of words and phrases that we collect from friends and co-workers.  You can't make this stuff up!
    ENGLISH AT ITS BEST
     
    These are some of our favorite language faux pas.  Some have to be shared in sentence form in order to recognize the intended definition.
     
    Collected by
    Monica Moore and Susan Nekimken
     
    Antidotal Notes – Better known as anecdotal but who knows, these notes must be cleaner.
     
    Autobahn – Nope, not the driving kind but used for elevating the feet, as in, “Will that autobahn (ottoman) go well with that chair?”
     
    Beta Agnostic – Also known as Beta Agonist or a bronchodilator that is dissociated with any formal religious belief.
     
    Cadiver (cadaver = corpse found underwater?)
     
    Concure (concur = to agree) Misstated by a nurse, hence the added “cure” component.
     
    Conundrun – (conundrum = moving puzzle?)
     
    Cooprating (Cooperating = obliging but caged)
     
    Copulated (“I will share the information with you after all the data has been copulated” Think about what you could do with that one.)
     
    Disconcerning (Similar to disconcerting but with an empathetic flair)
     
    Encrouchment (encroachment = intrusion or infringement to a specific body part?)
     
    Epithany (Epiphany = revelation with meat)
     
    Exasperation (exacerbation = a worsened or aggravated state with some added frustration)
     
    Extrenuating (extenuating = mitigating or justifying with a little added physical exertion)
     
    Exuberations (She consistently demonstrated her energy with exuberations)
     
    Great Dame  (a large [female] dog)
     
    Humand Resource (Human Resources Dept.)
     
    Irregardless – (another favorite, often used to accentuate Regardless)
     
    Meninginoma – (a little added flair to Meningioma = slow growing, benign tumor)
     
    Mortar & Pedestal – (Pestle with a base to stand on)
     
    Mute – used to mean moot = doubtful, debatable (for a mime)
     
    Nagative (Negative = pessimistic with an annoying element)
     
    Orientate (Constantly erroneously used for Orient = to familiarize)
     
    Practicable (Practical = sensible or realistic and adaptable)
     
    Precautious (cautious = careful or vigilant) Maybe a good description of anticipatory caution?
     
    Quandering(“I was quandering around the mall wondering what would be the perfect gift.”- Wandering in
                            puzzlement)
     
    Rachteristics (Characteristics – written by the victim of a severe case of dyslexia)
     
    Retrieve (used as an alternative to reprieve = pardon or amnesty) “The Physical therapists were given a
                     retrieve from having to use the bar-coding function.”
     
    Ridiculum (One of our favorites; should be added to Webster’s as a collection of absurd data)
     
    Rigmor (Rigmarole = confused or meaningless talk) Might have been confused with rigor mortis.
     
    Supposably – an old favorite that doesn’t need any explanation.
     
    Taunt (His abdomen was distended and “taunt” – confused with taut = stretched).
     
    Therapeutical (Therapeutics = methods of treatment)
     
    Unexpectively (Unexpectedly = coming as a surprise) – this has an element of respective speculation.
     
     
    We thank all of our friends and family for creating these words and phrases!  Keep them coming!
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

  9. Dan Martin says:

    Is there a way to search for previously submitted and/or accepted words?

  10. Al Clemmons says:

    Mirage – an eye con.